


The Friday Shirt

by DhampirsDrinkEspresso



Series: Smoked Sin and Honeyed Venom [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bazine Ships Reylo, Ben's Job Title Is A Reference to The Office, Boss/Employee Relationship, Business Travel, Cat BB-8, Co-workers, Corporate Housing, Eventual Smut, Everyone Does More Than Their Job Description, Except Maybe Mitaka and the Woman at the Bakery, F/F, F/M, Fine EVERYONE Ships Reylo, Finn ships Reylo, Fluff and Angst, Harassment, Hux Ships Reylo, I think so anyway, Just For Sleeping, M/M, Matchmaking, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pen Collections, Playlist Available, Poe Ships Reylo, Rating May Change, Referenced Child Endangerment, Referenced Past Industrial Accident, Second posted but first (partially) written, Sexism, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Stubborn Idiots, Tags May Change, fountain pens, mild harassment, old-fashioned romance, sitcom references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 86,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DhampirsDrinkEspresso/pseuds/DhampirsDrinkEspresso
Summary: It may not have been Rey's dream job, but it's a decent job at her dream company. She'll just have to prove her worth and earn her way into the right job. And of course having a handsome boss with a voice like smoked sin doesn't hurt! Now if he'd just let her do her job, and maybe wear some colors sometimes...
Relationships: Bazine Netal/Phasma, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Chewbacca/Maz Kanata, Kaydel Ko Connix/Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rose Tico/Temmin "Snap" Wexley, Zorii Bliss/Jannah
Series: Smoked Sin and Honeyed Venom [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663369
Comments: 265
Kudos: 344





	1. The Proper Care and Feeding of Ben Solo

**Author's Note:**

> Slow burn. Sloooooow. These two are stubborn idiots and they are going to drag this out but will eventually earn the rating...I think...
> 
> Updates may be spotty. I have multiple chapters written but they are not consecutive so I am going to have to fill in some blanks. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey starts a new job, and it's a little intimidating that almost everyone she meets seems terrified of her new boss. But when she meets Ben Solo, it's not "scary" she has to worry about. No one warned her he was hot.
> 
> _As soon as the inner office door clicked open the tension level in the room skyrocketed. Rey was almost afraid to turn around, but she refused to give in to the urge to hide. Instead she wiped her hands and mouth, stood up, and pasted on her best professional smile. “Nice to actually meet you, Mr. Solo.” He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t run away so she took a step closer, hand out. “Rey Jackson.” He still didn’t move and he was staring at her hand as if it might turn into a venomous snake and bite him. “This is the part where you take my hand, shake it, say something you really don’t mean about how it’s nice to meet me, and then you can take the plate of food we were kind enough to save for you while you were otherwise indisposed and either join us or disappear back into your hidey-hole of an office.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The Friday Shirt Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA). Tracks 1-3 are basically the "theme songs" for this story.
> 
> Missing/Bonus Tracks: [My Side of the Story, JT Hodges](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccuW5O0p_OI)  
> -This is basically Ben's theme for this story, and it's just a good song.  
> [Here You Come Again, Carly Smithson (cover)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLCtADk46Ww)  
> 

Rey Jackson was ecstatic when she got the call offering her a job at Skywalker Organa Solo Enterprises, International (they were aware it was a mouthful and SOS was perfectly fine, she was quickly assured by the head of HR when she completed her pre-hire paperwork and drug test).

It might not be her dream job, but it was at her dream company, and they had a reputation for preferring to promote from within. It was the _perfect_ way to get her foot in the door and, even better, the pay was higher than she had initially expected. With her student loans and desire to eat more than instant ramen, that was a blessing.

The weekend before her start date, she celebrated with her roommate Rose Tico and Rose's sister Paige by having them help her spend a painful portion of her meager savings on work appropriate clothing and then going back home and ordering Chinese for delivery rather than take away. It helped that Paige had offered both her previous experience as a personal shopper and her current generous employee discount at a nice but not quite too-nice-for-Rey’s-bank-balance department store.

With input from the Tico sisters, Rey had picked her first day’s outfit (OK, she had tentative outfits chosen for the first _week_ ) on Sunday afternoon, gone to bed early, and then was up for a run at 4:30 AM (an hour before her usual time, but at least this time she could blame her excitement rather than nightmares or insomnia), leaving plenty of time for her to shower and dress in the smart black pencil skirt and deep red, lace trimmed top Paige had insisted would be perfect. Rey hadn’t been sure about the color (wasn’t red a bit…aggressive, especially for a first day?) but Paige was insistent it was a dark enough shade that it wouldn’t be an issue and Rey could freely admit Paige would know better than she. She topped it with a soft, lightweight black cardigan and knee-high black boots with a slight heel, before studying her fall jacket with a frown. The seam on the left elbow was pulling loose again and there was another hole worn through near the bottom. It was the only coat she had but it wasn’t too cold yet so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad without a coat. She’d walk quickly to keep her blood pumping and hopefully once she got paid she could find something decent at the thrift store down the street from her apartment.

Her commute (including 1 change of buses and a few blocks of walking) went smoothly, and she had arrived early enough to be escorted in by Security and was waiting outside the HR office when Ms. Holdo—the head of human resources at SOS—arrived, looking rather pleased to see her there ahead of schedule.

“Good morning, Rey! Lovely of you to come early. Gets the day started off right!” There was friendly chit chat as she completed the rest of her new hire paperwork and was issued an employee ID badge which would also work as her access keycard for the building, and Ms. Holdo introduced her to what seemed like every person who came into view during her brief tour of the main areas she needed to know at first. Rey took it as a positive sign that the HR head seemed to know all their names without having to glance at IDs.

It was actually the little friendly introductions that started the trouble, though. Every new person seemed at least professionally pleasant if not genuinely friendly when Ms. Holdo introduced her, right up until they found out what she had been hired FOR.

“Jessika, come meet our newest team member, Rey Jackson. Rey, this is Jessika Pava, from Accounting. You’ll probably be in contact with her often.” That had been fairly normal, Jessika had smiled and held out a hand for a decent shake, but then Ms. Holdo had turned back and continued, “Rey is starting as Mr. Solo’s new assistant.” Jessika’s face had stiffened, and she had muttered a welcome with something that looked like pity.

Someone in the administrative pool (whatever that was), had muttered “Poor girl” as she walked by after being introduced to the head of that office.

Three people in the 4th floor break room had looked like Ms. Holdo had just informed them she was going to be leading the puppy-kicking team.

Mr. Wexley the IT Manager had actually said, “I’m sorry to hear that,” before dropping her hand and making an excuse about fixing something in the Security Office before he just walked away.

By the time she was introduced to a Mr. Poe Dameron who was a Project Engineer—a fact which should have thrilled her as that was the _exact_ position Rey had hoped to someday earn—she could only muster a weak smile and was feeling faintly ill. He took one look at her and turned to Ms. Holdo. “Geez, woman, what did you do to her? She hasn’t even been here a whole day.” Ms. Holdo actually rolled her eyes and then there was some kind of silent exchange between them before he turned back and offered Rey a genuine grin. She noted, idly, that he was quite handsome. “Solo’s new assistant, huh? Listen, ignore whatever rumors you may hear, he isn’t nearly as bad as some people want to believe.” A tightening around his eyes when he said it made her think Poe seemed a little irritated about it, and Rey had the feeling it was on her new boss’s behalf. “It’s an easy job, and honestly he’s too much of a micromanaging control freak to let you do much.” Ms. Holdo made an exasperated sound but didn’t stop him. Something caught his attention down the hallway and when Rey turned she found he had become laser focused on someone walking down the hall. Something in his smile changed, his face getting softer. Rey couldn’t help leaning forward, needing to see who or what had captured his attention. She was greeted by another smiling, handsome face headed their way with 2 bottles of water.

The newcomer slipped in beside Poe and handed off one of the water bottles to him. Poe immediately slipped an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek, laughing as Ms. Holdo said his name in warning a warning tone. “Rey, this is my fiancé Finn, he’s in our IT and programming team.” As they shook hands Poe turned to Finn, “Rey’s this week’s sacrifice to the 14th floor.”

“You stop that,” Finn said to his fiancé, waving a finger in the other man’s face. “She’s probably terrified enough already.” He turned back to Rey. “You’ll be fine. Solo’s not nearly as bad as some people want to believe.”

“That’s what I said!” Poe interjected.

“Just don’t take anything he says or does personally, and maybe avoid him until he’s had a second cup of coffee. Also, he gets hangry so make sure you keep the office snacks ordered.”

“And walk him 3 times a day, but don’t scratch his ears or belly unless he’s been a really good boy and earned it, but don’t worry, I don’t think he’s ever bitten anyone…at least not at work,” Poe added. Finn gave him a look. “What? Just figured if you were gonna inundate her with the ‘ _Proper care and feeding of the boss’_ speech then I should make sure you didn’t leave anything out.”

Rey couldn’t help an instant like for the couple.

Ms. Holdo cleared her throat. “Gentlemen, I believe you have a meeting to get to, and Ms. Jackson and I are due on the 14th floor 5 minutes ago.”

Rey could still hear the couple bickering and teasing each other as she and Ms. Holdo waited for the lift. In the privacy of the car the HR head looked at her with a tense but friendly smile. “You’re going to be fine. You’re competent, intelligent, and we both know you are far overqualified for this position. So, take a deep breath and remember my door is always open if there are any…difficulties.”

Apparently even Ms. Holdo thought Mr. Solo was a monstrous tyrant. Lovely…

When they stepped out onto the 14th floor, the quiet was a bit of a relief. Rey found herself surrounded by softer lighting than she had seen in the rest of the building and an abundance of dark wood paneling. There was a large (currently vacant) desk to the right, a glassed-in conference room across from the shining elevator doors, and to the left a long hallway with what looked like very plush carpet. “This is the executive admin desk, we don’t usually have anyone there unless there’s a project meeting that would need admin support, and that gets assigned based on the meeting.” Ms. Holdo gestured down the hallway, “Most of the executive level offices, a couple more conference rooms, and the board room are to the left, and Mr. Solo’s office is this way,” she said, walking to the right where it turned out there was a much shorter hallway around the corner from the desk. The dark paneling was mostly absent, the walls a stark white with little to no decoration, and a door to the right (a closet, maybe?) and a shiny tile floor. The difference was startling, as if she had stepped into a different building.

There was a partially open door at the end of the hallway, just past the closed door she had guessed was a closet, and Rey could hear muffled voices and joyful, feminine laughter which somehow put her a tiny bit at ease (or at least less ready to flee in terror). Ms. Holdo pushed the door open to reveal a comparatively small reception area with a loveseat, small table and two simple chairs, wet bar counter with a coffee station, and another (small-ish) dark wood desk. The color scheme and furnishings didn’t seem to fit with the rest of the building, as if this lone office and the short hallway leading to it had been forgotten the last time the company redecorated.

A pretty blonde woman in a golden yellow dress was perched on the edge of the desk, laughing at something the ginger man standing at the coffee station had said. They both looked up, smiling at the door as Rey followed Ms. Holdo inside.

The man stepped forward, taking both Ms. Holdo’s hands in his own. “Ah, Amilyn Holdo, lovely to see you today. Have you brought the latest victim?”

Ms. Holdo rolled her eyes. “Tactful as always, Armitage.” She motioned to Rey. “I’d like to introduce Mr. Solo’s new assistant, Ms. Rey Jackson. Rey, this is Armitage Hux, he’s the general manager and project liaison at the satellite office.”

He bowed over her hand and kissed the back of it. “Charmed. It is of course lovely to meet the savior of our darling Kaydel, here. We miss her terribly at my office. No one else can get my lunch order right and the bloody temporary worker we have has broken 3 coffee pots, killed a Ficus, and melted the copier.” His eyes were dancing with mirth and Rey couldn’t hold back her own laugh.

“Ignore him,” the blonde woman said, stepping forward and shaking Rey’s hand. “Kaydel Connix. Pleased to meet you. I’ve been filling in here temporarily while they looked for, well, you.”

“It’s lovely to meet you both.”

  
“Oh, Armie, did you hear, she speaks your language! Maybe she can translate for us.”

The man sniffed and adjusted his cufflinks. “Not my fault you bloody Yanks can’t speak properly.” It seemed like this was a recurring “argument” between the two, and Rey couldn’t help wonder if they were more than coworkers, not that it was any of her business, really. Before anyone else could speak the closed office door on the other end of the room was flung open and Rey’s eyes widened as a tall, dark haired force of nature came barreling through the doorway.

“Too late. No time,” he fairly growled at the head of HR as she opened her mouth to speak. He brushed past them all and stormed out the door.

“And that,” Hux said, “is Ben Solo, Vice President in charge of Special Project Management. Bit of a grumpy arsehat today, well most days, really, but he doesn’t bite.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that.”

“Indeed.”

“HUX! GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!”

With a sigh, the man put down his coffee cup, slung a coat over his arm, and accepted a briefcase from Kaydel. “Amilyn, lovely seeing you again. Kaydel, my dear, I will see you at six for the reception. And Rey, you dear sweet lamb, welcome to the lion’s den.”

Then he was gone and Rey had to remember how to breathe again.

Things were far less tense and the panic that had been threatening to spiral out of control all morning finally dissipated enough that Rey could concentrate on functioning like a sane human being once she and Kaydel were alone and could start going over her job duties. The blonde woman was outgoing and friendly and quite honestly, she reminded Rey a lot of Rose.

By midafternoon Rey had been given another tour of “all the important places” by Kaydel – the onsite cafeteria she claimed no one used, the break room with the best coffee and pastries (3rd floor, between IT and Engineering), supply closets, and the closest restrooms (3 floors down, sadly, as the offices on the upper floors all had private en suites). They also covered the basics of the phone system (although Kaydel assured her she wouldn’t use it much as most calls were forwarded to Mr. Solo’s direct line), interoffice communication systems (primarily a browser-based chat on a VPN), and a list who she’d be in contact with most often—other than Mr. Solo, of course.

There was a checklist of daily and weekly responsibilities, but that was six pages and they’d barely gotten to item 3 (keeping the coffee station stocked) when Rey’s stomach growled and Kaydel realized neither of them had eaten. “Oh my gosh, Rey, I am so sorry. I completely lost track of time. Do you need food? We can go back to the cafeteria and see what the mystery meat of the day is, or there’s a coffee shop on the corner with these great savory stuffed croissants.”

“That sounds lovely.”

Kaydel checked her phone and made a face. “Armie, um, Mr. Hux sent a text a little while ago that they’re already on the way back and apparently things didn’t go so well. I don’t think we have time to go get food and get back before they do, and someone should be here. Especially if Solo’s in one of his moods.” She grabbed her purse from a desk drawer. “I know where it is and I have their app and the company purchasing card on my phone. I’ll order on the way down and come right back, if you think you’ll be OK.”

“Yes, of course, I’ll be fine. I mean, it is my job after all,” Rey shrugged and even managed a weak smile. Kaydel was struggling into her jacket when Rey remembered Finn’s comments from earlier in the morning. “Oh, and Kaydel?”

The other woman didn’t look up from her phone but she did pause in the doorway, “Yeah, babe?”

“All things considered, order enough for at least, hm, 6 people?”

“Good plan. You’re going to be just fine here. OK, be right back.”

And then Kaydel was gone and Rey had her first moment of quiet all day. She sat down in the desk chair Kaydel had been using and leaned back. The headache she had been trying to ignore all day came back full force and she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. Bad enough she had barely slept thanks to building anxiety about starting this job, but she’d skipped breakfast thanks to the queasy feeling her jumbled nerves had caused. Now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had any water either. No sleep, no food, no water, and an entire building full of people who seemed to believe her new boss was more terrifying that Satan…no wonder her brain was currently trying to force its way out the front of her skull. Well, food would be here soon enough and there was a mini fridge stocked with bottled waters and other assorted cold beverages under the coffee station. She made her way across the small room and opened the cabinet door covering it, bending to retrieve one of the chilled bottles.

So of course that was the moment Ben Solo, VP of Special Project Management, came back into the office only to be greeted by the sight of her with her arse in the air and cursing at the rough spot along the edge of the cabinet door where she’d managed to catch the hem of her shirt and rip the decorative lace trim. “Oh, bloody, fucking, hell! Really?”

“My feelings exactly, sweetheart.” She yelped and nearly fell when she heard the growling voice behind her. By the time she managed to right herself he was already in his office, door slammed shut behind him, and she was almost left wondering if she had actually heard him mutter the words at all.

She jumped and yelped again when a crash, a series of thumps, and some heartfelt but not all that creative cursing echoed from the room. The outer door opened again and she turned, wide-eyed, to find Hux and Kaydel, carrying a tray of drinks and two bags of food between them. “So, the tantrum has started. Ah well, it will blow over soon enough, no reason to let the food get cold.” Rey blinked and looked from Hux to the closed door a few times before shrugging and moving to help them sort through the bags of food. If they were going to calmly accept this as normal she supposed she should make an effort to do the same.

Within less than 10 minutes, she and Kaydel were seated at the small table and Hux had perched on the corner of the desk, each with a plate of baked goods, and Rey found herself being subjected to some good-natured ribbing from the pair regarding her “ravenous inhaling” method of eating. The ham and cheese stuffed croissant was long gone, a chicken and broccoli one nearly devoured, and the massive chocolate chip cookie was going to be next.

As soon as the inner office door clicked open the tension level in the room skyrocketed. Rey was almost afraid to turn around, but she refused to give in to the urge to hide. Instead she wiped her hands and mouth, stood up, and pasted on her best professional smile. “Nice to actually meet you, Mr. Solo.” He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t run away so she took a step closer, hand out. “Rey Jackson.” He still didn’t move and he was staring at her hand as if it might turn into a venomous snake and bite him. “This is the part where you take my hand, shake it, say something you really don’t mean about how it’s nice to meet me, and then you can take the plate of food we were kind enough to save for you while you were _otherwise indisposed_ and either join us or disappear back into your hidey-hole of an office.”

His lips twitched and he shook her hand. “Yes, all of that, you’re right.”

She quirked an eyebrow, “Fair enough, I suppose. At least you tried. Now, late lunch?”

She handed him the extra plate and the lemonade Hux and Kaydel had set aside for him. He stared at his shoes and mumbled something that might have been a thank you, so she chose to accept it as one. “You’re welcome. I promise to make sure you’ve already eaten the next time I offer an impromptu etiquette lesson.” His head snapped up, a brief expression that might have been a pleased sort of surprise flitting across his face before an actual smile curved his… oh dear … very nice lips. Suddenly it was like he was a different person and she sucked in a breath, trying her best to ignore the way her body was reacting to this.

“Poe or Finn?”

“What?” She was having a hard time concentrating on the words. It was bad enough he’d taken off his tie and coat, not to mention _rolled up his sleeves_ , before coming back out, but now he was _smiling_ and Rey was fairly certain she was in quite deep trouble of the ‘Oh-God-I-just-realized-my-boss-is-hot’ variety.

“Was it Poe or Finn that told you to keep me fed?”

“Ah, yes, that would be Finn. He also advised me to avoid you until you’ve had at least 2 cups of coffee, and not to take anything you say or do personally. Poe’s advice was to walk you 3 times a day, but for that I think I’ll need a raise.” She gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth before her traitorous tongue could mention ear scratches or belly rubs.

He laughed.

He actually _laughed._

He had a very nice laugh. She couldn’t stop herself from pointing to Hux and adding, “and both Poe and your friend here have assured me you don’t bite.”

“Did they now?” Something shifted in his expression, in his tone, and was his voice actually deeper than a moment ago? It was like he was suddenly hyperfocused on her and she found herself fighting to take a step back, breaking the strange tension between them. “Well, he is right about that, I haven’t bitten anyone at work … so far.”

Oh dear. That voice. All rumbly and growly and she might need new knickers now…

He carried the plate back into his office, already chewing about a third of his own cookie and calling for Hux to join him after he’d finished his own lunch.

_Don’t look, don’t look…too late._

Amazing smile, check.

Good laugh, check.

Broad shoulders, double check.

Nice arse, check plus.

Ovarian explosion imminent.

Rey tried to pretend she wasn’t trembling when she went back to her seat, burying her face in her hands. “Oh my God, what just happened? I don’t even know where that came from. What was I even saying?”

Kaydel put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, babe, he’s a bit … intense, but don’t let him scare you.”

“It’s not that,” she started, then shrugged, unable (or at least unwilling) to explain herself.

“Indeed,” Hux commented, and she was fairly certain, he, at least, realized the trembling wasn’t from fear. “Well, I have been summoned. Ladies, may the rest of your day be…less intense.” Rey flushed a bit as he entered the office and closed the door behind him—quietly.

Hux entered the office to find most of the lights off and Solo half lying on the leather monstrosity of a sofa he had insisted on having, the nearly empty plate balanced on his chest.

“What the bloody hell was that all about, mate?”

The oh so elegant reply around a mouth full of baked goods sounded something like “Hmpf?”

“The flirty joking? With your new glorified receptionist?”

“Wasn’t.”

“Oh please, man, you went full on Kylo Ren for a moment there. Weird voice and creepy stare included.”

Ben’s jaw tightened and Hux winced. Neither of them enjoyed revisiting past mistakes, (and there had been a LOT of those) and yet somehow one or both of them always managed to bring up the past. “Whatever, just….” Ben waved in the general direction of the papers piled on his desk. “There’s something wrong and no one can figure it out. Damn project’s already 3 weeks behind schedule.”

“You do realize that I am neither a structural nor mechanical engineer?”

“You’re a fresh set of eyes, and you’ve been coordinating director on this one from the beginning.”

Hux made a sound that might have been mock-disgust, or maybe he sneezed. “Fine, but it’s not going to help.”

“Mkay. I’m just gonna nap while you do that.”

“You really should try the whole sleeping at night thing the rest of us do,” Hux said, not looking up from the sheaf of papers.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He paused, then, “Hux?”

“Hm?”

“Was she upset?”

Hux lowered the papers back to the desktop and seemed to be carefully weighing his words. “Upset would be … inaccurate, I believe. Shaken, perhaps, a bit mortified at her own words. But not upset. Be careful with this one Ben. If you don’t scare her off within the week, this one might just work out.”

Solo was sleeping when Hux left for the reception. It was fortunate they didn’t need Solo for this. He was fairly certain the other man hadn’t slept so soundly in years.

Not that he would ever admit to caring.

The rest of the day went smoothly, and at 5:30 Kaydel began to gather her things, explaining that there was a small client reception for the project Hux was in town going over with Ben and she was going as the redhead’s plus one. Kaydel claimed she needed to run to the hotel across the street to change and touch up her hair and make-up, although Rey couldn’t see any flaw in her appearance.

“So, the two of you are-”

“Yep. It’s going on a year now, and we haven’t murdered each other yet!” the other woman said with a bright smile. “I couldn’t stand him at first, but he grew on me.”

“Like a fungus,” Hux called out from behind them.

The two of them left, laughter echoing behind them. Rey shook her head and grinned. She’d never been very good at making friends, but her first day at this job had introduced quite a few prospects in that department.

When she shut down the computer and gathered her things at 6:05, Mr. Solo still hadn’t come back out of his office, not that she had (hoped) expected he would.

She headed home and ate a light supper over the sink. Rose had left her a note on the refrigerator saying she got called in to work but they would absolutely celebrate a successful first TWO days tomorrow.

She stood in front of the closet for a while, agonizing over which of her remaining outfits she should pick for tomorrow. The black pencil skirt went back into the closet, and she dropped the red top on the worn dresser, hoping she could maybe repair the damage from getting caught on the counter. Then Rey headed to bed earlier than she would have expected. For the first time in weeks, she slept nearly the entire night and woke (mostly) rested and refreshed.

…and she _absolutely had not_ dreamed about a tall, handsome almost-stranger with chocolate eyes and a voice like smoked sin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Special Projects" is a nod to The Office (US version). It's basically a made-up position that Han and Leia created as an excuse for hiring Ben and letting him do whatever he wants. It will probably be mentioned at some point, but I am updating to add this note at the end of the first chapter because...I'm lazy?


	2. Shield and Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's second day at SOS starts with banter, coffee, and pacifist muffins. Also, Mr. Solo needs a plus one for the evening. Who could possibly help him out?
> 
> _He’d bargained for a shield and come out of the deal with a sentient sword. Whatever Rey had hissed at Monica Hutt had the vapid heiress speechless for the first time in…well, probably ever, as they walked away. Daphne Mandalor hadn’t even been able to get within 10 feet of him, another first. Rey hadn’t actually done anything inappropriate for a work setting and whatever she said he hadn’t even heard, but most of the women he usually had to avoid and practically hide from seemed to be sizing her up and then mostly deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble. It was quite possibly the most pleasant one of these little events had ever been._
> 
> _He let Rey lead him to the corner where Poe was standing with 2 or 3 other men near the dessert buffet. As they got closer one of the men laughed at something Poe said and Rey gasped. “That’s…that’s Cassian Andor…”_
> 
> _She seemed almost starstruck. Before Ben could say anything in reply the man caught sight of them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Friday Shirt playlist can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA). This chapter was very definitely influenced by repeated plays of track 5, "One Night" by Christina Perri.

Tuesday morning, Rey was at the outer office door at 7:45, only to find it locked. Of course, she _had_ splurged for a ride share since she was carrying more than usual, and still left at her normal time so it made sense she would be early. She just hadn’t thought her plan through to the logical conclusion that it was very likely NO ONE would be in yet.

Since she was still technically in training, Kaydel and Mr. Solo were the only ones with keys. She considered looking for a janitor or someone to see if they could let her in, but Kaydel would be here any time.

Right?

The box in her arms was a bit heavy, and she was starting to reconsider the wisdom of bringing her things in on her second day, but Ms. Holdo and Kaydel had both encouraged her to make the outer office her own, and there was definitely space for everything she’d brought. She shifted the box again, trying to decide if she could set it on the floor or whether it might be better to go back to the main reception area and use the desk there (not that she was sure she could carry it that far at the moment).

She was saved from either option by the appearance of Mr. Solo. He paused when he saw her standing there. “Jackson.”

“Good morning, Mr. Solo.” He nodded in acknowledgement of her far-more-friendly-than-his greeting. He didn’t have a jacket or tie on, and his shirt (sleeves rolled up again, showing nicely muscled forearms— _stop NOTICING these things_ ) was rather wrinkled, almost as if he had slept in it.

And if she wasn’t mistaken, those were yesterday’s trousers ( _why, WHY with the noticing)_.

“No Kaydel, yet?” Rey shook her head, gasping as the motion shuffled the box just enough that she lost her grip. He grabbed the box, steadying it before hefting it onto one shoulder, using his other hand to unlock the door. “Whoa there, I know I was rude yesterday, but you don’t need to throw things at me.”

“I’m so sor—wait, are you teasing me? Was that a joke?” He carried the box over to the coffee station as she followed him in and then placed her messenger bag against the wall near the desk.

“Of course not, haven’t you heard by now? I have no sense of humor,” was his deadpan response.

“And another one! This does not compute. I was informed you were—”

“A foul tempered, moody tyrant?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “N-No. Not…”

“I know my reputation, Ms. Jackson,” he said softly. “I’ve earned it.” The playful mood shifted and it may just have been her projecting but Rey thought he seemed almost sad. He went into the inner office and pushed the door closed behind him.

Mentally kicking herself for once again making one too many cheeky comments, she moved to unpack her box. Coffee was needed. Preferably strong and in large quantities. By the time Kaydel arrived (just after 8 AM, gasping apologies for not having gotten there earlier) the full-size drip coffee maker Rey had brought in was making happy gurgling noises, half a dozen warm (fresh baked this morning—courtesy of Rose) strawberry chocolate chip muffins were arranged neatly on a serving plate, and an electric kettle was tucked away in the cabinet. The few other items in the box had found a home in the empty desk drawers, and a small potted succulent perched on the corner of the desk. Kaydel gave her a nod of approval as she hung her coat on a hook inside the small supply closet across from the desk.

Nearly an hour later, Kaydel was just going back over how to navigate the phone systems when the inner office door opened again and Mr. Solo stepped out (looking far more put together and in a different suit, navy blue this time—wait, why did she notice that, she shouldn’t notice these things, _stop NOTICING_ ).

“Can I get some—”

“Coffee, Mr. Solo?” Rey cut him off, extending a steaming mug. He smiled, accepting the peace offering it was meant to be.

“Cream or Sugar?”

He took a sip and shook his head. “First cup should always be black.”

Rey cocked her head to the side and blinked. “Maybe if you want to punish yourself. You seem far less growly than I had been led to expect before coffee. Are you sure you haven’t bitten anyone this morning?”

He smirked over the rim of the cup. “Nope, but I haven’t finished this yet. Could still happen.” Kaydel made a choking sound and Rey turned in concern, worried something was wrong, but the other woman just waved off her concern.

“Hey kid, sleep at the office again last night?”

Rey turned again, starting to get a little dizzy from all the back and forth (and just…people…too many people in a very tiny office), admittedly more than a little startled by the voice coming from the hallway.

“Good morning, Mr. Solo!” Kaydel chirped from behind the desk.

“Kaydel, it’s Han, I’ve told you.” He turned toward Rey and moved into the office. “And you must be the new assistant of the week?”

“Rey Jackson, sir, lovely to meet you.” She heard something akin to a growl come from the Mr. Solo standing behind her. Now _that_ was more what she had expected from a non-caffeinated Ben Solo.

Han Solo leaned in with a conspiratorial grin, “Ignore my son, he’s all growl and grumble in the morning, especially if he didn’t sleep well.”

“ _DAD_ ,” came a warning growl from behind her.

“See, exactly what I mean. He’s wearing his ‘I slept at the office’ suit—it’s the only time he wears anything other than black.”

Sensing that an explosion was imminent, Rey stepped back, unconsciously moving closer to her boss than his father. “Nothing wrong with classic black,” she said, motioning to her own dress with one hand and using the other to grab the platter of muffins and thrust it between the two men. “Muffin, Mr. Solos?” she offered with a cheeky grin.

Ben closed his eyes for a moment, taking another sip of coffee before taking a muffin. “Thank you, Ms. Jackson,” he said, returning to his office and closing (but not slamming) the door firmly behind him.

Han stared at the door for a moment, the light in his eyes dimming a bit before turning to Rey. “Muffins, eh? What kind?”

“Strawberry chocolate chip, sir. Please, help yourself.”

“Please, call me Han.”

“I don’t think so, sir. It would be unprofessional, especially as we have only just met. Now, would you like a fresh cup of coffee? It’s Privateer bold dark.”

“Sweet talker.”

Rey laughed and handed him a cup, before pretending to be busy cleaning the coffee station area. He chatted with Kaydel for a few minutes before carrying his coffee and muffin back out and down the hall.

After he was gone, Kaydel turned to her with wide eyes. “How did you do that?”

“Hm? Do what?”

She gestured weakly at the office in general, then at the closed inner office door. “That. All that. How did you stop the fight before it started?”

“Oh, that. Distraction. Sometimes it breaks the tension before it escalates.”

Fortunately, Kaydel accepted her answer without any more questions and they were able to get back into the training checklist.

The rest of the morning went smoothly (possibly because—with the exception of asking for another coffee—Mr. Solo stayed in his office and didn’t throw anything), and she and Kaydel had quite the entertaining lunch with Poe and Finn.

Rey did feel a little uncomfortable when Kaydel began telling them about the almost-argument. They had both turned to stare at her in shock when Kaydel told them that Rey had diffused the situation with MUFFINS. She was suddenly very glad no one else had witnessed the teasing conversation she had with Ben—MR. SOLO—earlier in the morning, as she was coming to realize it was apparently highly unusual behavior for him.

They planned to meet for lunch again Wednesday and she and Kaydel headed back to the 14th floor.

It was midafternoon when the day threatened to descend directly into the depths of hell.

It started with a phone call from a Ms. Netal, canceling a 3:00 PM appointment for Wednesday, and a hastily tacked on “Oh could you please also tell Mr. Solo I can’t make drinks tonight, either.”

Kaydel cringed. “I do not want to tell him this,” she muttered, picking up the desk phone and dialing the inner office extension. “Mr. Solo, Ms. Netal just called and regrets she cannot make it tonight or tomorrow, she has the flu.” She winced at the crash of the receiver being slammed down on the other end of the line. The cursing from the other side of the office door was punctuated by some solid object hitting the wall.

It was nearly an hour before he came out of the office, appearing calmer but still looking more than a little irritated before he leaned against the coffee station studied them both with crossed arms.

“You going with Hux tonight, Kaydel?”

“Of course.” He nodded and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and then rolling his shoulders. Something about his expression made Rey wonder if he was in actual, physical pain. He looked her way and seemed to be thinking, or rather debating, something.

“Do you have plans tonight Jackson, between 6 and 8? There’s another of my mother’s cocktail receptions for the project team and some clients, and I seem to be short a plus one.”

Rose wouldn’t be home until after 9. “I, um… no?”

“No, you don’t have plans or no, you refuse to spend any more time around your coworkers and boss than necessary?”

“No, I er…Yes?” She squeaked.

“Clear as mud. Shit, I am being a bastard. Sorry, Jackson, forget I said anything. You shouldn’t have to protect me from the fawning masses.”

She would wonder later what came over her as she squared her shoulders and said firmly, “Rey.”

It was his turn to be confused. “What?”

“You should call me Rey. If I am to play the role of your ‘plus one’ then you should probably call me by my first name—which is Rey.”

He looked away, but not before she saw his lips twitch in another almost-smile. Some of the tension left him and his shoulders lowered. “Okay then, Rey.” He nodded, just once, and then stared at her with his head tilted just so. It was unnerving, having that gaze so focused on her again. “Take the sweater off.”

“What?” She was squeaking again.

“Shit, no! Not … um, your dress. It’s just if we need to get you a different dress there’s not much time.”

“Ah, right. Makes sense.” Rey shrugged out of the light blue cardigan, leaving her in a sleeveless black sheath dress and peep toe black pumps with a kitten heel (the only non-flat dress shoes she currently owned aside from yesterday’s black boots).

“Kaydel?”

The other woman nearly launched herself out of her chair and came around the desk, studying Rey from the front then walking a full circle around her. “Hm, it’s a tad long but I think it will work. The vee cut in the back helps, the heels on the shoes could be higher but they aren’t terrible either. We definitely need to work on the hair, and the make-up will need to be more dramatic. Some sort of other jewelry to go with her earrings wouldn’t hurt but beggars can’t be choosers.”

After another moment of muttering to herself and typing a list of things into her phone Kaydel left, presumably to find what supplies she needed to make Rey look acceptable.

Rey shifted uncomfortably, still flushed in embarrassment from the unexpected critical analysis of her appearance and turned her head, resolutely studying the wall when she found herself unable to look at Mr. Solo at all, much less meet his eyes.

He noticed (of course he did). “Ms. Ja—Rey, you don’t have to do this. It would be a favor to me but you can say no if you’re uncomfortable in anyway. I promise not to start any fights, and I just need someone there—”

“As a shield?”

“You caught that, huh?” She nodded and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t … socializing is not my favorite thing. Being surrounded by people I don’t even like, inane small talk, it’s just…”

“Uncomfortable.”

“Right in one.”

“And I assume it also doesn’t help that you’re one of the top five eligible bachelors in the city, state, and possibly country, _personality quirks_ aside?”

His ears and neck went pink and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Not so much, no. I like that, though, personality quirks. That is quite possibly the nicest descriptive phrase aimed at me for a while. Not wholly accurate but…nice.”

“It’s because I’m British, sir, everything I say sounds both polite and yet condescendingly judgmental to Americans,” she said with a sage nod before she lost the fight to maintain the serious expression and smiled, earning her another of the lip quirks that seemed to indicate he was trying not to smile or laugh at something.

She didn’t let herself think too much about why she kept making jokes or how the ghost of an almost-smile on his lips could so greatly improve her mood.

Once Kaydel returned there was no peace to be had for the remainder of the day. The other woman was a flurry of motion and she kept making panicky comments about how they didn’t have _time_ for all they needed to accomplish, which was _definitely_ wreaking havoc on Rey’s already frayed nerves. Kaydel was in the midst of dragging one of those sticky lint rollers that was really just wide sheets of tape over the front of Rey’s dress when Mr. Solo emerged from the office and cleared his throat.

“Oh, thank goodness, I thought I was going to have to come in and kick you out!” Kaydel cried out in relief, grabbing Rey’s arm and dragging her into the office.

“Don’t break her, Kaydel,” he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the main door.

Rey quickly found herself in Mr. Solo’s small but extremely well-lit bathroom while Kaydel returned her focus to the removal of any possible lint or foreign fibers (honestly, an investigative team would be less thorough). “OK, that’s the best I can do with that but I think if we steam it some of these wrinkles will come out,” she said, grasping the zipper and yanking it down.

“Kaydel! Why are you undressing me?”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Wrinkles Rey, your dress has wrinkles from sitting at the desk. There’s not time to have it pressed but I am going to hang it by the shower and let that run nice and hot to steam out the wrinkles, but the steam won’t help with your make up so you need to take the dress off. Solo went home to change and I locked the door and it’s fine. This is not the first time I have kicked him out of his office to get ready for one of these stupid reception things. Now, we don’t have time for this, strip, hang your dress up, and wash your face.”

Rey found herself obeying the tornado of a woman. By the time her face was clean and dry and her dress was hanging on the edge of the shower door, Kaydel had laid out a fairly frightening number of hair and cosmetic tools including what appeared to be a brand new set of make up brushes and applicators on a small table and was in the process of pulling a shirt out of what proved to be a decent sized closet. Kaydel thrust the white fabric toward Rey. “Here, if you’re more comfortable covered up, one of Solo’s back up shirts. It’s clean, straight from the closet, not the hamper, I promise.”

Rey only hesitated a moment before she shrugged into the shirt and did up a few buttons, enough to keep it at least partially closed, and then she found herself herded over to a stool in the corner while Kaydel started by removing the clip holding Rey’s hair out of her face and studying her from every conceivable angle.

After a while there was a beeping noise which turned out to be a timer on Kaydel’s mobile phone. “Don’t move,” Kaydel ordered before hustling into the bathroom and turning the shower off and inspecting Rey’s dress before making an approving noise and returning. “Okay, we’ll finish your face, and then get you back into the dress before we start your hair because I may need to call in reinforcements if I’m going to have time to change too.” For the next hour and a half Rey meekly obeyed and let Kaydel work her magic.

By the time Kaydel deemed her make up acceptable, she had also decided that Rey’s hair “didn’t need too much work after all” so Rey was saved the embarrassment of having to meet whoever Kaydel’s “reinforcements” would have been while wearing only her underthings and her boss’s shirt. Kaydel turned on a curling iron and sent Rey to put her dress back on but also issued strict orders that she was absolutely not to sit down while Kaydel changed into her own dress (not that Rey could figure out why the other woman needed to change at all, her dress today a gorgeous blue that struck Rey as more “party” than “office” wear anyway).

Since she wasn’t allowed to sit, Rey studied her reflection in the small mirror mounted to the wall where Kaydel had worked her magic. Rey had been worried she would look ridiculous with the layers of products caked on her skin, but it … wasn’t terrible. Whatever the other woman had done around her eyes had brought out flecks of gold and possibly even a little green from the usual light brown hazel. Her lips were stained a deep berry but again, it wasn’t outlandish or garish in any way. Rey was a little thrown at not immediately seeing the sprinkling of freckles on her skin but it wasn’t bad per se, just different. Her hair had more wave—almost curl—than she had ever been able to accomplish herself, and a small clip held it back from her face on the right. She was brought out of her inspection by the combination of a knock on the office door and Kaydel swirling out of the bathroom in a lovely plum colored dress and her own hair loose around her shoulders. The other woman flung open the office door and struck a pose, grinning at whoever was in the outer office before beckoning to Rey to come out.

It turned out to be both Hux and Mr. Solo, both looking like something out of a magazine in black tuxedos which, combined with Kaydel’s gorgeous dress, conspired to have Rey feeling absolutely shabby as a rush of adrenaline ratcheted her anxiety up to a level once again dangerously close to panic. She tried to focus on controlling her breathing as Hux murmured a string of hard to make out compliments at Kaydel. Rey caught the word resplendent, and possibly glow, but the roaring in her ears was making it impossible to hear anything else.

Why had she ever agreed to this?

She was dimly aware of Mr. Solo speaking to Hux, and the couple left as Rey stared at her toes and tried very hard not to pass out.

“Ms. Jackson? Rey?”

_Oh. He was speaking to her. Probably had been for a bit now._

Rey forced her eyes up as he stood in front of her, carefully controlling his movements as if she were a frightened animal (not that he was wrong, but it bothered her that it was so very obvious to him).

“Rey, I need you to breathe.” She jerked and sucked in a ragged breath.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, just a little overwhelmed.”

“You can still back out, you know.” He sounded a little afraid himself, and she thought there might be a hint of desperation in his eyes as she shook her head and closed her eyes for another moment and took another breath, slow and deep this time like she knew she needed to.

“No. I’m fine.” She forced a smile. “Really, Mr. Solo, just a small moment of social anxiety.”

“You can go home. This was a lot to ask, especially on your second day.” He sounded resigned.

Her smile this time came a little easier and she stepped forward, squaring her shoulders. “Really, Mr. Solo, I’m fine now. I was just feeling a little underdressed and, well, as you pointed out it’s only my second day here, and _nothing_ has been quite as I expected. Just a little too much all at once.”

He didn’t look like he believed her, but he accepted her assurances anyway. “Oh, here,” he paused, reaching for something on the desk behind him. “Kaydel seemed to think you needed to accessorize. I thought, uh, well…” He looked away from her as she opened the velvet box to reveal a fine chain with a single, small but lovely pearl hanging off. “I, uh, noticed your earrings were pearls and I thought…for tonight, anyway…” He wouldn’t look at her and what she could see of his neck and ears were a little pink.

“It’s lovely.” She fumbled with the box, removing the necklace and holding it out. “Would you mind?” She resolutely ignored the little thrill when his fingers touched hers as he took the chain and she turned around, lifting her hair off her neck so he could fasten the little hook. Once done, the pearl settled into the hollow of throat, cool against her skin for the moment. He’d managed it with a dexterity she wouldn’t have thought possible, both working the tiny clasp and managing to do so without touching her at all.

There was a tense but not exactly awkward moment before he cleared his throat and fiddled with his cuffs before extending an arm. “Shall we?” Rey accepted with a small, nervous smile and she fancied he seemed to be settling in behind a lifetime of polite manners like armor, any discomfort tucked safely away where no one would know.

They maintained an almost-comfortable silence in the elevator and as they crossed the main lobby, exiting the building and moving to the nearest crosswalk. Kaydel had explained they would most likely walk as, like most SOS events, the reception was across the street at the Millennium Falcon Hotel, an historic location reaching back to the earliest days of the city. It wasn’t the original building, having burned and been rebuilt a couple of times over the years, but he Falcon was a local landmark and a chunk of the city’s history. Rey allowed him to lead her across the street, into a side door and across a lovely lobby, content to just study her surroundings. She found herself genuinely calmed by the time they reached the event space, but then they entered a room that was, in fact, much more crowded than she had expected for “the project team and a few clients” in attendance.

The wall of sound created by the faint music and the buzz of so many voices, the energy of too many people in too little space, had her nerves jangling all over again. She was relieved for the momentary reprieve when, rather than heading straight into the crowd as she had expected, he led her into a corner of the room and paused before a well-stocked bar. “A little liquid courage to take the edge off?”

“Oh, yes, please!” She may have been a bit louder than she intended but no one seemed to notice other than Mr. Solo (who was giving her an odd look) and the bartender (who just chuckled and asked what he could get her). Both men seemed surprised when she requested scotch, and then impressed when she threw it back all at once, blinked a few times, and smiled before asking for another.

“Maybe take this one a little slower?” Mr. Solo—Ben, she supposed, at least for the next couple of hours—suggested with that lovely lip twitch of his before picking up his double Bourbon.

She laughed and nodded. “I promise, small sips only.” This time she got the brief impression of a quick grin across his lips. “Now, from whom shall I protect you first?”

A few heads (mostly feminine, she noticed) turned their way at the rich timbre of the laugh she got as a reward for her comment, and she found it felt perfectly natural to slip her arm back through his again, her palm resting lightly against his forearm and an easy smile on her face as he traced them a slow path around the edges of the room, returning greetings from anyone brave enough to address him first but never being the one to initiate a conversation.

She saw Kaydel on Hux’s arm across the room. The blonde gave her a friendly wave and a thumbs up before turning back to the conversation Hux was having with what Rey assumed was a client, and Poe Dameron was hovering near the food, making friendly conversation with anyone who came near. He, at least, was still dressed in his office clothes which made Rey feel a little better about her own appearance.

It wasn’t long before Rey began to suspect Ben Solo may suffer from even greater levels of social anxiety than she did, which somehow managed to calm her own considerably. It wasn’t outwardly apparent, his face maintaining a stony façade, but when anyone approached, she felt the muscles under her hand tense and jump.

Rey did her job well, somehow managing to keep most interactions brief without letting the guests they’d been speaking to feel slighted as she and Ben moved away to whatever corner of the room was least sparsely populated at the time.

She also noticed that sometimes he introduced her as his assistant, and others he implied a very different type of relationship. Those moments seemed to coincide with the times the muscles in his forearms tensed to the point of trembling, and she found herself allowing it, stepping just a hair closer, maintaining an almost aggressive eye contact with the women throwing themselves (or being thrown) at her boss even though she was _standing right there_ and had been introduced as his date (with the implication of being more than _just_ a date). By the third occurrence of that particular situation she decided to make a game of seeing how quickly she could chase things off with only a look or a few vague but well-aimed comments.

He’d bargained for a shield and come out of the deal with a fucking sentient sword. Whatever Rey had hissed at Monica Hutt had the vapid heiress speechless for the first time in…well, probably ever, as they walked away. Daphne Mandalor hadn’t even been able to get within 10 feet of him, another first. Rey hadn’t actually _done_ anything inappropriate for a work setting and whatever she said he hadn’t even heard, but most of the women he usually had to avoid and practically hide from seemed to be sizing her up and then mostly deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble. It was quite possibly the most pleasant one of these little events had ever been.

He let Rey lead him to the corner where Poe was standing with 2 or 3 other men near the dessert buffet. As they got closer one of the men laughed at something Poe said and Rey gasped. “That’s…that’s Cassian Andor…”

She seemed almost starstruck. Before Ben could say anything in reply the man caught sight of them.

“Solo! Join us. We were just discussing the merits of applying my new designs to some of the projects you’re bidding on.” He felt Rey’s hand tremble against his arm in her excitement and the urge to turn the other way was almost overpowering. He didn’t give in to it though, leading her over and accepting the proffered handshake before introducing Rey to the assembled group. He found himself tensing when Andor held her hand a little longer than he really needed to. _Get a grip, Solo._

Rey grinned and was just, completely charming, gushing over Andor’s brilliance and speaking with more knowledge than he’d realized she possessed. Ben couldn’t help smirking when the other man’s eyes widened in surprise at her comment about his newest design being just a subpar repackaging of a previous one, finishing with, “But you already knew that. I suspect that explains the price differential.”

He’d admitted she was correct before excusing himself for the evening with a casual, “I like her,” aimed at Ben. “Reminds me of my wife. That woman doesn’t let me get away with anything, either.”

Once Andor and his cohorts departed, there weren’t too many people left in the room. Ben checked his watch, surprised it was already 8:15. When he commented on the time Rey gasped. “I think I missed my bus.”

“I’ll take you home,” Poe offered.

“That would be lovely, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“After you,” Poe said, gesturing to the door.

“Oh, I do need to go back up to the office, though. My bag’s there, and more specifically my keys.”

Ben shook himself out of his thoughts. “Probably need those,” he muttered before leading the way out of the room, not noticing the look Poe was directing his way.

“Okay, who is he and what did you do with the real Ben Solo?” he stage whispered to Rey.

“I can hear you, Dameron,” he called back over Rey’s bubbly laughter.

He couldn’t help a small smile at the sound. It had only been two days, but the woman just kept surprising him at every turn.

Thanks to Poe, Rey was home in plenty of time to shower and get into comfy sleep pants and an oversized t-shirt before Rose got home.

_Celebration_ meant ice cream sundaes and telling Rose how her muffins had stopped a fight. Most nights it would have also meant a bottle of cheap-but-not-too-terrible wine but Rose was swinging back to a morning shift and Rey didn’t really want to put more alcohol on top of the scotch she’d had.

Of course Rose had caught the slight flush when she mentioned Ben and then stammered a quick _Mr. Solo_ to try and recover, which had resulted in some good natured teasing and a quick online image search that found his picture from the company website and a couple of images from news articles around the time he joined the company. Neither of them bothered with the headlines or articles themselves, too busy giggling over Rey’s admission that yes, he was quite nice to look at and Rose making silly, suggestive comments about job perks and working under the man.

“Rose, he’s my _boss_.”

“But you like him.”

“I mean, I guess so? I only met him two days ago. I don’t really know him.”

“Eh, give it time,” Rose muttered before yawning. “Worst case scenario, you get to enjoy the scenery until they see your utter brilliance and promote you.”

Rey shook her head with a fond smile before bidding Rose good night.

Two days. It had only been two days.

She couldn’t have a crush on her boss after only two days. 


	3. Collide and Conquer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets the CEO, nearly gets sent home from work, and accidentally-sort-of-flashes her boss.
> 
> _Based on experience with his last 4 assistants, and coupled with Rey’s age, he’d expected another in the long line of simpering idiots who barely knew how to function as adults and spent the entire day scrolling through social media or gossiping with the staff on other floors._
> 
> _Rey was…something else._
> 
> _Unexpected._
> 
> _She was smart, conscientious, determined, brave, sassy…beautiful…_
> 
> _He might be in trouble._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comparatively short chapter for Rey's third day. After this we'll get into some time jumps and/or chapters covering more than one day. This is basically a transitional chapter, ending Rey's "training" and it's been completely trashed and rewritten at least 4 times.

Rey’s third day at SOS started with a collision.

She stepped off the elevator onto the 14th floor (finally) and wasn’t two feet into the reception area when she barely registered several loud, angry voices nearby. A woman in a white pant suit barreled into her, knocking Rey flat and sending the box in her arms flying. The other woman stumbled but was stopped from falling by Han Solo and then Rey found herself being helped up by a very irritated Ben Solo. “You okay, Jackson?”

“F-fine, thank you, although I’m not certain I can say the same for my cherry cheese turnovers,” she said, indicating the bakery box which his father had picked up. He nodded and steadied her with one hand on her shoulder for another moment before turning. His jaw tightened and he shot a look at his parents (because the woman could only possibly be Leia Organa-Solo, CEO) and stomped off to his office, the door slam reverberating through the entire floor.

“Oh, my dear, I apologize, I should have been watching where I was going.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, I’m fine. Are you?”

“Yes, dear, perfectly fine.”

“We’re all fine here,” Han muttered, rolling his eyes at a muffled yell and series of small thumps from the general direction of his son’s office. “So much for anger management,” he muttered, handing over the bakery box before stalking off the opposite direction.

Leia watched him go before turning back to Rey with a professional smile. “You must be Rey Jackson. Amilyn Holdo speaks very highly of you.” Rey accepted a firm handshake and hoped she wasn’t blushing too badly.

“Oh, but I’ve only been here two days, I haven’t even _done_ anything yet.”

“Oh, nonsense. This is day 3 and you came back! Even after having to escort my son to last night’s reception. You impressed Cassian Andor, and no one manages that, _and_ you had glowing recommendations from your program professors—including Dr. Kenobi whom I also know absolutely does _not_ impress easily— _and_ your internship supervisors.” Rey shifted and Leia gave her a knowing smile. “Well, I can see I am making you terribly uncomfortable. I’ll let you get started on your day.”

And with a quick pat to Rey’s shoulder, Leia was gone, her walk more a quick, purposeful trot, as Rey collected her bag where it had fallen and adjusted the battered white box before heading for her desk.

Kaydel came in just as Rey was gingerly lowering herself into the desk chair. She was fairly certain there was going to be a nasty bruise on her hip and now that the adrenaline rush was over, she was feeling the occasional twinges in her knee and ankle.

“Morning Rey! Sorry I’m la—What happened to you, babe?”

“Do I look that bad?”

“What? No, you look great, just, you were making a pain face and you kind of hissed when you sat down.”

“I, um, fell.”

“My mother ran over her.” Rey turned and found Mr. Solo leaning on the doorframe.

“Into me, maybe. The falling was all me and these stupid boots.”

“Did your breakfast survive?”

“Ah, and now the real reason you’ve emerged from the Bat-cave: The possibility of food.” She paused, touching the lid of the box. “I’m a little afraid to look.”

“Well, the box is still sealed, you should be fine.” He straightened, seemingly intent on retreating into his office again.

“Ah, Mr. Solo?” He paused, looking her way. “Assuming they survived the fall, I did bring enough to share, and there’s fresh coffee—I set the timer before we left yesterday.”

“Well, aren’t you a treasure?” he said, making his way to the—sure enough—full coffee pot.

Kaydel made a weird gasping sound again but like she had yesterday, she just waved Rey off when she turned to check on the other woman. Rey shrugged. Maybe it was just a sneeze? Rey gingerly peeled at the tape holding the box closed and realized that aside from being a little mashed the pastries were still mostly intact. They’d be a little messier than usual but that was why forks and napkins were invented. She tried to stand up, intent on taking the box over to the counter and grabbing a plate. Instead her ankled and knees refused to hold her, and she yelped and dropped back into the chair—hard—biting back a groan as her hip twinged.

“Shit! How badly are you hurt, Jackson?”

“I’m not!” She returned his glare in full. “Not really. I just twisted my ankle.” He just kept staring, waiting for the rest. She rolled her eyes. “And my knee.” He angled his head, daring her not to continue. She sighed, “and I suspect I have quite a bruise on my hip.”

“You need to go to the clinic, let them check and make sure nothing’s broken.” She tried to argue, insistent she’d take some ibuprofen and she’d be fine; it was just a little twist. “Ms. Jackson—Rey—you can’t even stand up.”

Rey bit her lip. “It’s only my third day, I don’t have insurance coverage yet,” she admitted, blinking angrily at the burning in her eyes. She would NOT cry.

“I’d say having the CEO run you down in the hallway qualifies as a work-related injury. Even if Worker’s Comp won’t cover it the company will. Now, will you _please_ let someone take you to the clinic and make sure it’s really just a twisted ankle?” She gave a reluctant nod. “Kaydel,” he said turning to the other woman, “Call HR and tell them what’s happening. They’ll take care of it.” And then he was gone again, silently retrieving his coffee and slipping into his office as Kaydel grabbed the phone and dialed the right extension.

In the end, the head of HR personally took Rey to the clinic and then back to the office, despite Ms. Holdo’s protests that Rey should take the rest of the day and maybe the next one as well. Rey had forced herself to patiently point out that not only had the doctor said she would probably be fine so long as she kept her leg elevated and iced both joints in the evening, but Kaydel was leaving with Hux in the morning on an early flight, so any remaining training items she may need to go over with Rey simply couldn’t wait. The head of HR pursed her lips and gave Rey a pointed look, but she couldn’t actually dispute the claim without admitting that she knew Rey’s position was that of an overpaid, glorified receptionist-slash-babysitter rather than a true assistant.

Kaydel shrieked when Rey hobbled into the doorway, knee and ankle wrapped and supported by crutches which Rey had only accepted once the doctor insisted they were precautionary, especially as she couldn’t get her boot back on over the swelling in her ankle. “Oh, my goddess, babe, what are you even doing back here, you should have gone home!”

Rey winced and wrinkled her nose. “I can sit in a chair, it’s not like I’m working with heavy machinery here. Besides, you leave first thing tomorrow.”

Kaydel made a face, ready to argue but Rey just lowered herself into one of the chairs at the small table, using the other to prop up her foot (which, she realized, would be a lot more comfortable and far less inappropriate if she had worn pants instead of the second skirt—grey, with a light lavender pinstripe, and fortunately not quite so body hugging as the black pencil skirt—that she had purchased on Paige’s advice). She realized quickly that she would have to prop both feet in the opposite chair to avoid flashing the entire world. She was tugging the hem of the skirt back down and swinging her other leg up onto the chair when the inner office door swung open and Mr. Solo froze in the doorway, greeted with a view of far more thigh than Rey ever would have displayed at work. She could only hope she had managed to get the tops of her stockings covered before he’d looked up.

Mr. Solo cleared his throat, pointedly looking away while Rey finished getting situated and asked Kaydel for her notes and pen, please, so they could go over the last page of the checklist again. He glanced back briefly, as if making sure it was safe, before moving even a step out of his doorway. “Jackson. Welcome back. Sprain?”

She had to clear her throat twice before she could answer. “Yes, a very mild one they said, in my ankle, and I may have strained my knee. I should be fine in a week or two but the doctor said I can’t go for my morning run or attend kickboxing classes, possibly for the rest of the month,” she ended with what was probably a very unattractive whine.

“Kickboxing? Really? Not yoga or pilates?” Oh, he was smirking again. Teasing her.

Rey made a face, coupled with a very unladylike snort. “Hardly. I was looking for a new Krav Maga class but there don’t seem to be any close by. Judo or Jiu Jitsu were actually my original preferences, but I couldn’t find one of those that was in my price range, either.”

“Remind me not to make you angry, Jackson.” He studied her for a moment, head tilted to one side before shaking himself and heading for the outer office door. “I’ll let you ladies get back to it.” And then he was gone, and Rey turned to find Kaydel staring in rapt fascination.

“What?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing. Just…” Kaydel trailed off with a shake of her head before turning her attention back to going over the remaining items they had only briefly addressed the previous day. It was clear to Rey that Kaydel wasn’t going to actually answer so she didn’t push.

They were still planning to meet Finn for lunch—Poe was in a meeting with the executives and his project team including Hux and Mr. Solo—but since Rey couldn’t exactly get to the new restaurant they had wanted to try, Finn picked up their food and brought it up to the office. Rey found herself subjected to another round of lectures from Finn and Kaydel (again) about how she should have gone home and possibly taken the rest of the week to recover.

“I appreciate the concern but no. I can work. And anyway, I would be absolutely mad from the boredom within 2 hours if I did go home.” She didn’t mention that part of the problem was not having yet been able to work off the excess adrenaline from the anxiety she’d been fighting the previous day, well every day since she’d gotten the job offer, really. Even here, with (menial and mindless) tasks and other people to distract her she kept catching herself playing with her hair and tapping her pen (thankfully just a ballpoint rather than one of her cheap fountain pens and rollerballs with liquid ink, so far less likely to leak as a result of being used as a drumstick). She was fairly certain she would have been tapping her foot if there wasn’t a twinge of discomfort that drew her attention every time she moved. Maybe she could still go by the gym after work and figure out a way to at least work on punches without putting pressure on her leg? She shook her head, best not.

They ended lunch with Finn insisting that he would drive her home as Poe was going to be staying late according to a text message Finn received from him. There was also a warning that Solo was in a _mood_ over something that came up in the meeting (whatever that happened to be was the reason Poe would be working late).

Surprisingly, there was no door slamming or throwing things as Mr. Solo stomped into his office, followed by Poe, Hux, and another man Rey hadn’t met yet. The fourth man stopped and sneered at Rey, seated at the table with her feet up as per doctor’s orders and studiously scribbling in the margin pf her color-coded notes. “Well, sweetheart, since you don’t seem to be busy why don’t you fetch some coffee for those of us who actually bother to work?” Kaydel gasped but before she could say anything Rey held up a hand and tilted her head as she studied the man before giving him a once over, starting at his feet and moving up, her face a mask of disdain.

“Of course,” she said, voice taking on the tone she had used last night with the more forward of Mr. Solo’s admirers. She waited until he sauntered into the office and closed the door before ignoring Kaydel’s protests. “It’s fine, Kaydel. Please let me do this. If you’d be so kind as to get some biscuits—er, sorry, cookies—out that would be appreciated. Enough for 3 people please, and _only_ 3.”

Kaydel smirked, sensing where this might be going. Rey managed to lean most of her weight on the counter as she set the coffee maker to work and gathered 3 mugs, some sugar, and real cream onto a small tray. When all 3 mugs were full and steaming, she gathered her crutches and made her way over to knock sharply on the office door, waiting until Mr. Solo called out a gruff, “Enter,” before she opened it. “Good afternoon, sir. I believe coffee was requested, though I do apologize that I can’t seem to balance a tray on these crutches.” Poe jumped up and came out for the coffee and baked goods, carrying it into the office and placing it on the corner of Mr. Solo’s desk.

“Shit, Jackson, what are you doing? Sit back down!” For a moment she thought Mr. Solo might actually get up and force her back into her chair.

“Just my job, sir, fetching coffee for those of you who actually bother to work.” She gave wide, innocent eyes but her tone was ice.

“Jackson, there are three cups here. Four people in this office.”

“Yes, there are. No worries sir, Kaydel and I have our own out here,” she added, smiling at him before aiming a pointed glare at the new man she still didn’t know a name for (she could think of a few but best not to make too many waves before she finished her first week—what she was doing was probably already enough to get a reprimand from HR).

Surprisingly it was Hux who broke out in laughter. She had expected that from Poe. Mr. Solo, however, was intently glaring at the fourth man who was alternately sputtering indignantly and attempting to defend himself. Rey ducked back out of the room, closing the door with a soft click. She winced when the yelling started, feeling a little guilty—but only a very little.

Kaydel laughed merrily. “Oh, that was nice.” She tilted her head to the side. “You know, I have no idea how Mitaka still has a job. He’s always late, condescending or flat out rude, and from what I understand he’s sloppy in his work. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if whatever the problem is right now is somehow his fault.”

“Mitaka? Is that his name?”

Kaydel nodded. “He’s the site engineer out of our office.”

Rey laughed at the look on Kaydel’s face. “I take it he’s always this pleasant, then?” There was no real need for Kaydel to answer and the two of them got back to the checklist tasks Rey had a feeling she’d never actually get to do.

Mitaka stormed out of the office a little after 4:00. Mr. Solo came out soon after, rolling his neck and rubbing at his shoulder as he walked. The sound of the stairwell door snapping shut followed a few minutes later. Poe and Hux came into the outer office looking stressed and exhausted. Poe fiddled with the coffee maker and then leaned against the counter as it worked. He grinned at Kaydel and Rey.

“Mitaka seems to think Cassian Andor’s equipment design and quality control is subpar and the reason we can’t get things working. Solo told Mitaka to contact Andor and tell him that personally.”

“Andor hates Mitaka, thinks he’s a pretentious arse,” Hux muttered.

“He _is_ ,” Kaydel muttered.

“Poe, what exactly is this project?”

“Simple equipment upgrade, well it _should_ have been simple. It’s a trial run of of a new filtration system for maintaining water quality in low income residential areas. Andor’s designs are more cost effective, environmentally friendly, and efficient. Problem is the motor design that’s supposed to power the whole thing doesn’t actually _fit._ ”

Rey blinked slowly. “What do you mean, it doesn’t fit?”

“We’ve tried seven different components and none of them can actually be installed. They literally don’t fit in the space.”

“What about modifications?”

“You don’t modify Andor’s designs. It’s impossible.” Rey snorted and bit her tongue to stop herself commenting that she knew very well they absolutely could be modified. It wasn’t easy, but it was possible.

Poe gave her a look. “I’m serious, the man’s an evil genius.”

“I’m not disputing that,” she said with an eye roll. “But all things considered it doesn’t make sense that absolutely none of them fit unless the math or initial measurements were wrong.”

Poe started to say something else and then froze, staring at her. “What did you say?”

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“No, the other thing.”

“Unless the math or measurements were wrong?”

Poe uttered a long string of profanity while tapping something into his phone, grew quiet as he studied whatever he was looking at before swearing softly and going back into Mr. Solo’s office. After a few moments of shuffling papers and a few more creative swears, she heard him talking to someone and realized he was on the phone. She couldn’t make it all out, but her curiosity had her straining to hear what she could. After all he had left the door open.

“Wrong model…wrong measurements…heat stress…fucking Mitaka…” and then another string of expletives.

Her lips twitched a bit at that. It would be one thing to hear Ben Solo swear so much, but with Poe it was…well it was quite amusing, although that was likely due to the very creative mock profanity swears peppered in amongst the “actual” swears. So far, her favorite was “mother humping son of a biscuit eater.” She wasn’t the only one amused, either. Kaydel was giggling behind her hand and Hux had snorted at least once.

Mitaka didn’t return, but Mr. Solo was back in a matter of minutes after Poe ended his call and the two of them closed themselves back into the office with Hux.

When Poe and Hux came out an hour later, Finn was there helping Rey collect her things while Kaydel was busily removing the office keys from her key ring and digging a purchasing card from her wallet, all of which she handed over to Rey before giving her a quick hug. “Stay in touch, yeah?” she demanded before leaving with Hux.

Poe leaned against the wall, smiling softly as he watched his fiancé maneuver around the office, insisting on carrying all of Rey’s things (not that she had a lot—just a messenger bag and her right boot) so she didn’t have to worry about anything but the crutches and herself.

“So, Rey,” Poe said with a grin, “Since you saved the evening, I think the three of us should celebrate. Do you like Thai food? There’s an amazing little place near your apartment and their takeout portions are huge if you aren’t up to going into the restaurant.”

“Oh, Orchid Palace, yeah, they’re amazing! How do you know it?”

“Oh, I used to live in the area.”

“Oh, right then, of course. But really you two should go out. Finn told me you had a date night planned that you cancelled when you thought you’d be staying late.”

Finn echoed Poe’s original idea, insisting they get take away and celebrate. “I suppose I’ve been outvoted, then,” Rey replied with an overdramatic sigh as the couple led her out of the office, none of them noticing the chuckle from behind them.

Ben watched them go, shaking his head at their antics. It had been an _odd_ week, mostly thanks to his little pit viper of a new assistant, and it was only Wednesday night. He was starting to wonder why he’d been so resistant to letting them even hire someone, not that he was ready to actually admit that or let her do much. Everything he’d seen suggested she was completely competent, trustworthy, and amusing as hell.

After the reception he’d even pulled the copy of her original job application that he’d refused to look over when Amilyn had told him she’d found a promising if highly overqualified candidate. He’d originally tossed it aside, telling Amilyn he trusted her judgement in selecting his _babysitter_.

The engineering degree had been a pleasant surprise. The fact that it was a Masters (and at an impressively young age) had him wondering why the hell she was bothering even applying to this job.

The glowing letter of recommendation from Dr. Kenobi was a shock.

Based on experience with his last 4 assistants, and coupled with Rey’s age, he’d expected another in the long line of simpering idiots who barely knew how to function as adults and spent the entire day scrolling through social media or gossiping with the staff on other floors.

Rey was…something else.

Unexpected.

She was smart, conscientious, determined, brave, sassy…beautiful…

He might be in trouble.

Unbidden, the flash of smooth thigh and creamy lace he’d gotten that afternoon as she had attempted to straighten her skirt came back to him and he found himself tugging at his already open collar.

Stockings.

The woman wore actual stockings.

To work. With lace trimmed tops and garters and…

He was _definitely_ in trouble here.


	4. The Trouble With Wednesdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has settled in and learned that she passionately hates Wednesdays, or at least the woman with a standing 3 PM appointment with Mr. Solo. Add in a slow elevator and an angry boss, and who could blame her for finally losing her temper?
> 
> _She’d gotten closer, stomping over and leaning on her desk, hands placed flat on the surface for support, unconsciously adopting the same posture he used in the boardroom just before thoroughly destroying someone._
> 
> _He clenched his jaw and hissed out “I don’t have time for this. Some of us have busy schedules, work to do.”_
> 
> _She gasped at that and her own voice dropped, low and venomous. Dangerous, even. “Maybe if someone would let me do my bloody job, he’d have more time.”_
> 
> _He was leaning over the other side of her desk, returning her glare and his jaw ticking. “And what exactly do you mean by that, Jackson?” His voice had dropped so low she almost didn’t catch his words._

Once Kaydel was gone and Rey was officially no longer in training, working with Mr. Solo was…surprisingly uneventful at first.

Within a handful of weeks, they slipped into an easy routine. Rey arrived at the office between 7:30 and 7:45, even though her scheduled day didn’t technically start until 8:00. Usually coffee was already brewed thanks to the lovely timer feature on the coffee maker. Mr. Solo had encouraged the use of _good_ coffee. Seeming almost horrified when he realized she’d been purchasing her preferred brands and roasts out of pocket, he’d had her add that to the purchasing card she’d been issued but until then not used for anything that wasn’t already set up and pre-approved.

Mr. Solo was usually already in his office, and about once a week he seemed to just appear from the stairwell in the previous day’s clothes and disappear into his office to change into once of his “slept in the office” suits. They weren’t all blue, and the week the dry cleaning service was late delivering the previous weeks clothes back to the office he actually wore a shirt with a bit of color (well, white with blue stripes, but still, color) and a charcoal gray suit. Rey had stopped herself before mentioning that it suited him, but she had agreed when Poe jokingly mentioned it was a good look.

She still brought in Rose’s baked goods fairly regularly, but any she purchased also went onto the card provided she continued to bring enough for at minimum 6 people (which was _almost_ enough to feed Ben Solo).

Rey quickly learned that although he didn’t add cream or sugar to the first cup of coffee, he did often “ruin” it by adding sugar, flavored creamers, or flavoring syrups to his mid-afternoon cup, and he also wasn’t opposed to flavored coffees even first thing, so long as she kept the sugar and cream far away from his first cup.

He still wasn’t letting her actually assist him with anything beyond page 1 of the training checklist.

On days Mr. Solo was out of the office, he checked in via text and she took his absence as an opportunity to work closely with Poe and, as they neared the next phases of computer modeling and testing, Finn as he was now working half his time in programming.

On the days he was in the office, they went over the day’s schedule in the morning over coffee, sometimes had a working lunch (well, he worked, she mostly made notes and handed him things) at the small table by Rey’s desk. Then her afternoon was a haze of the occasional email or phone message and trying to keep herself occupied without “riding the clock” and feeling like she was somehow taking advantage of the company.

Except for the working lunches, which often included Poe and sometimes Finn, she vastly preferred the days Mr. Solo was out of the office. At least from a professional standpoint.

At least then she got to _do_ something.

This day, however, was very much an in the office day.

Rey made the trek back from the 11th floor ladies already in a foul mood. She hadn’t been able to sleep (again) the previous night, the coffee maker had broken and the only pods they had in the building for the single cup machine were bloody awful, and then Mr. Solo had gotten a call that put him in one of his _moods._ She didn’t even know if it was work related (probably, as he didn’t seem to _have_ a life outside of the office).

And it was _Wednesday._

Every Wednesday at 3 PM, an absolutely stunning woman showed up, spent about an hour in Mr. Solo’s office, and left with a friendly wave and a ‘see you next week’ to Rey. Sometimes she showed up for drinks or one of the client receptions Leia Organa was such a proponent of and then Rey got to see her multiple times in the same week.

Bazine Netal was beautiful and kind and Rey absolutely hated her. She didn’t know what they did—for all Rey knew she was his yoga instructor—but the sounds that sometimes filtered out from behind the door and the fact that Mr. Solo usually had wet hair and a different suit on when he finally came out of his office after she left suggested otherwise.

Deep down, Rey knew she was jealous.

Deep, _deep_ down.

And she knew she had no right to be.

All of that together had to be the reason she snapped. Aside from her interaction with Mitaka her first week, Rey had held her temper admirably so really, it wasn’t a surprise that all the little annoyances and irritations had finally boiled over when she returned ( _finally_ , bloody lift took 20 minutes to move up three floors) to find Mr. Solo standing by her desk, arms crossed and glaring at her as she came into the office.

“About time. Where the hell have you been, Jackson? You’re being paid to be _here_ , not out wandering the halls or gossiping with the IT department.”

It was just all too much. He had the audacity to snap at her, to growl at her in that tone he had directed at everyone else but (until now) never used with her; to _lecture_ her on her time management and question where she had been.

“Oh, you, you—How dare you assume you know _anything_ about me or what I do when not at _your_ beck and call.” Her voice was rising. “Did you ever think that maybe if I didn’t have to trek 3 floors for the bloody loo and then spend 20 minutes in the lift just to travel back up those same 3 floors, I wouldn’t have to be gone for so long? No, you didn’t, because you’re Ben fucking Solo and no one else matters!” She’d gotten closer, stomping over and leaning on her desk, hands placed flat on the surface for support, unconsciously adopting the same posture he used in the boardroom just before thoroughly destroying someone.

He clenched his jaw and hissed out “I don’t have time for this. Some of us have busy schedules, work to do.”

She gasped at that and her own voice dropped, low and venomous. Dangerous, even. “Maybe if _someone_ would let me do my bloody job, he’d have more time.”

He was leaning over the other side of her desk, returning her glare and his jaw ticking. “And what exactly do you mean by that, Jackson?” His voice had dropped so low she almost didn’t catch his words.

“I mean, _Mr. Solo_ , that I was hired to be your bloody assistant and maybe, just maybe, I could make your life a little easier if you would let me fucking _assist_ you.” She slapped the desk with one hand. “We both know I am overqualified and more than capable of whatever tasks you might deign to assign me.” Rey stood up, looking away and crossing her arms over her chest, hugging herself.

Her anger tended to flare up quick and hot, make her lose control, and then dissipate, usually leaving her mortified and, in cases like this, hurt. She refused to look back at him, clinging to what shreds of dignity she had left as she waited for him to fire her.

She jumped a little when his office door slammed, closing her eyes and taking a slow, shaky breath. He hadn’t fired her, at least not yet, and she didn’t hear anything thumping into the wall, much less shattering.

“Nicely done.”

Rey yelped and turned to the open doorway, her embarrassment growing as she realized Leia Organa-Solo was standing there and had presumably heard, if not the entire argument, enough.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry, I—”

“Rey, don’t be. You were standing up for yourself, and you should never apologize for that. Come, take a walk with me. You look like you could use some air.” Rey glanced at the closed door and nodded, grabbing her sweater from the back of her chair.

They didn’t speak on the way to the elevator, or on the way down to the ground floor (an amazingly quick trip thanks to the express access card the CEO inserted into a horizontal slot below the buttons). Leia tapped at her phone most of the way and then the two walked in companionable silence out through the employee parking deck and over to the small park across from the back side of the building. It was a nice day, unseasonably warm for early October, and Rey was glad for that as her light sweater wasn’t really all that warm and she still hadn’t found a winter jacket or coat that she both liked and could afford.

She had to make a surprising effort to keep up with the shorter woman. Leia led her over to a small, stone footbridge over the creek and leaned on the railing as she lit a cigarette, taking a long draw before shaking her head and turning to look at Rey.

“Most of what you said is true, you know, but other people do matter to him. He tries to deny it, I think even to himself.” She paused, puffing at the cigarette. “My son is controlling and often foul-tempered, and it’s mostly my fault. I wasn’t a good mother. I was always working, wasn’t around often, so when I was, I let him get away with everything, mostly out of guilt. Han wasn’t much better. We ignored things we shouldn’t have and our relationship with Ben was strained, even more so than now, for a very long time. Ben made some poor decisions, but he’s trying to make up for them. Still, a lifetime of being overindulged and having me ignore his anger issues…” She trailed off and shook her head.

“Ms. Or—Mrs. So—Leia, why exactly are you telling me this?”

“Maybe because I like you and appreciate the fact that you’ve stuck it out so long. You’ve lasted longer than any other assistant he’s had.” Rey blinked several times, trying to process that information. She’d had the job five weeks. “Or maybe, well, mostly, because _no one_ stands up to my son the way you did today, and because my son _does not_ back down or let someone else have the last word. Believe it or not, you seem to be a calming influence on him, Rey.” Leia finished her cigarette and gave Rey a long look. “Come on, let’s get you back in there before he has another tantrum.”

“Maybe he just needs a bottle and a nap,” Rey muttered, not intending the words to come out at quite the volume they did and then flushing when the other woman laughed.

“You’re probably right.”

Rey didn’t see Mr. Solo again until 4:30, well after Bazine had left. His hair was damp, and as usual on Wednesdays, he’d changed clothes. He’d been, well, far louder today than usual and she couldn’t help taking it personally, as if he were trying to make her uncomfortable. Regardless, he was far more relaxed than he had been.

He stood in front of her desk, toying with a pen and she had the feeling he was working up the nerve to say something. She really hoped it wasn’t that he was firing her after all. Rent was due soon, and she still needed to buy a decent coat and better shoes. Rey held her breath, bracing herself for more yelling.

He took a deep breath. “Jackson—Rey, I owe you an apology.”

Rey’s breath left her in a whoosh of air. That was…not what she had expected to hear. She gave a long blink. “You’re right, I haven’t let you do your job, and I do realize you’re capable—and overqualified—and quite honestly wasted in this position. I can’t promise I’ll be able to let you take over most of the responsibilities that probably should be yours, but I would like to try.”

“I, uh, thank you Mr. Solo. And I apologize as well. No matter the circumstances and no matter who was right, I never should have said any of the things I did, particularly at such volume.” He seemed surprised, staring at her for a long moment before dropping his head and then peeking out at her from under his hair, offering a sheepish grin.

“I, uh, have something for you.” He dropped a key and a plastic keycard like the one his mother used for the express access in the elevator on her desk. “I’ve had so many assistants in such a short time I kind of…forgot I had these for you.”

“What—?”

“Express elevator access card and, um, well the key is for the door in the hall.” He made a motion towards the door and she picked up the key, stepping out and unlocking the door she had assumed was a cleaning closet. The door swung open to reveal a small but very clean and well stocked bathroom. “I have no idea how long it’s been left unattended, probably months. The cleaning crew will deep clean and disinfect everything tonight, just in case of…um, yeah, anyway, I’m sorry.”

Rey grinned at the flush on his cheeks as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Apology accepted.” She stepped back into the office. “Excellent bribe, by the way. I would have accepted the apology and maybe a new coffee maker.”

“That will be here in about an hour. You’ve spoiled me with drinkable coffee. I can’t go back to the swill they stock for the other offices and break rooms.”

Rey laughed, then gasped as she got a better look at the black and red pen in his hand. “Is that…is that a Visconti Homo Sapiens Magma?”

“Hm?” He looked down at the pen in his hand, almost surprised to realize he was holding it. “Oh, yeah.”

“May I?” She was staring at his pen with something akin to reverence and he didn’t hesitate to hand it over, enjoying the look on her face as she turned it this way and that, stroking one finger down the length of the barrel before uncapping it and reaching for her notepad.

“So smooth. Like butter. Does it post well?”

“I mean, I think so.” He patted his jacket pocket, taking out two more pens and handing them over. “Those are my other favorites.”

She picked up the longer of the two. “Oh dear, this is far too big. I can’t even grip it.”

“I mean, your hands are smaller than mine so…here, try this,” he said, taking back the heavier of the pens and handing her the third. “It might be a little awkward at first, but once you adjust your grip, it’s pretty comfortable.”

Rey practically purred as she wrote her name, seeing what he meant about the grip. The clip was a little awkward to work around but she had always wanted a Pilot Vanishing Point. “I didn’t realize a stub nib could be so smooth.”

Whatever Mr. Solo had been about to say was cut off by Poe’s voice from the doorway. “Are you two done yet? My God, with what I was hearing from down the hall I wasn’t sure _what_ I was about to walk in on. Then I get to the doorway and realize it’s worse than I thought. Rey, sweetie, _please_ tell me you’re just humoring his weird obsession and you aren’t actually a pen snob too.”

Rey grinned and opened her desk drawer, causing Poe to sigh dramatically and throw himself down on the sofa at the contents. Mr. Solo lit up like a child given free reign to the cookie jar, waiting for Rey’s nod of assent before lifting out a zippered case and opening it, and Poe groaned. “What did I do to deserve this? You can’t be doing something normal like carrying on a torrid affair, no, you weirdos have to be bonding over pens. PENS!”

“Oh, you hush. I’ll have you know I’m an equal opportunity ink lover. Ball point, gel, rollerball, fiber tip, it doesn’t have to be fountain pens.”

Poe groaned again. “That might be worse.”

“Did you have a reason for actually coming up here, Dameron, or were you just bored and looking to harass my assistant?” Mr. Solo didn’t look up from his inspection of Rey’s pen case as he spoke.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Poe sat up. “The latest computer model failed. Even though the measurement issue was corrected, and the components will actually fit now that we have the right housing, something else is off.” Mr. Solo cursed and returned Rey’s pens to her, surprisingly gentle about it, before collecting his Magma and rubbing his brow.

“Can you and Finn stay late?”

“He’s on the way up now,” Poe confirmed.

“What about you, Jackson?”

“Sir?”

“You wanted more responsibilities. Can you stay late?”

“Oh, yes, of course, sir.” She blinked, surprised he was serious about letting her help, even if it was just to make coffee, order dinner, or take notes.

She did end up making coffee (thank heavens the new coffee maker had been delivered and promptly washed), and she volunteered to go pick up dinner. That was where the trouble started, actually. The order was placed, and paid, and she was at the door with 15 minutes to pick up their food before closing. But she arrived at the corner bakery/coffee shop that Kaydel had introduced her to, only to find the door already locked and the counter attended by the woman who had for some reason decided Rey was her nemesis. She usually did all she could to make Rey’s life difficult, whether it be messing up the order, making sure her baked goods were burned, or just taking twice as long as normal. Usually it wasn’t quite so blatant as locking her out, but then _usually_ there was someone else working there with her. Rey rolled her eyes and knocked on the door, only half surprised when the woman looked up at her and sneered, then hit some keys on the register. Rey’s phone displayed an alert that her order had been cancelled, and the woman smiled and walked into the back, shutting off the lights as she went.

Rey cursed and decided she’d just find something else, maybe she could meet a delivery driver at the main entrance or have Security escort them up since it was after hours. Then the rain started. She had already been shivering and suddenly the sky unleashed on her.

By the time she got back to the building she was soaked through, her shoes making little squishing noises as she walked.

In the elevator, she shivered harder and hugged herself as her teeth chattered.

Even with her brand-new express access card, by the time she got into the office her lips and fingers were numb and going a bit blue.

“What happened to you, Peanut? Where’s your coat? Are you okay?” Rey couldn’t answer, teeth chattering and body shivering too hard to get words out. “You’re freezing.”

“Bl-bloody cow ca-ca-cancelled our order.”

“Yeah, well, not so worried about that right now,” Poe said. “You need to warm up.”

She wasn’t sure what was happening at first, until Finn had actually deposited her in Mr. Solo’s bathroom and turned on the shower. She realized he’d been talking to her. “Rey? Rey do you hear me, Peanut? I’m going to go down to the car and see if I have any clean clothes in my gym bag. Poe’s making you some tea. You need to get in the shower and don’t come back out until you’re warm, okay?” She nodded. “Can you get your clothes off by yourself?”

She was already feeling warmer thanks to being inside and the steam from the running shower, but her fingers didn’t quite work yet. She swallowed and shook her head and Finn didn’t say anything, just helped her get her cardigan off and pulled down the zipper on her dress. She almost laughed at the thought that this was the second time someone had tried to get this dress off of her in Mr. Solo’s office. “Thanks. I need…I think I just need a minute, and I should be able to get the rest.” Finn pulled a couple of fluffy towels out of the cabinet for her and she couldn’t stop a snort of amusement. Of course, they were black.

By the time she was warmed through Finn had come back up and laid some clothes inside the bathroom door. Rey stood under the hot spray a moment longer, biting her lip as she debated actually washing her hair with Mr. Solo’s fancy organic sulfate free shampoo (it smelled like coconut and something else fruity, not a very strong fragrance and not at all what she would have expected). Why not? Something about it was very relaxing, but she made quick work of it, washing her hair and working a little of the matching conditioner through it before a final rinse.

The towel covered her from chest to just below her knees and she stared at herself in the still-slightly-foggy mirror. Her skin had a healthy flush again, and she felt fine if a little tired. She wrapped the slightly smaller of the towels around her hair and turned to the clothes by the door. Finn had managed to find a pair of drawstring sweatpants that would work, but there hadn’t been a clean shirt, so he had brought her one of Mr. Solo’s extra shirts. A white one. It would turn practically transparent if it got wet and her underthings weren’t exactly dry yet. Rey sighed. There wasn’t anything to be done for it. She’d just make sure to keep the towel over her shoulders and maybe find something to pin her hair up.

Rey stepped into the office to find the three men gathered around the low coffee table in front of the sofa. “There she is,” Poe said. “Better?”

“Yes, thanks.”

“Peppermint okay?” he asked, indicating the steaming mug on the table.

“Perfect.”

Finn grinned at her. “You look like a kid playing dress up.”

“Yes, ridiculous, I know.” Mr. Solo made a sound she couldn’t quite identify. “But I’m warm and dry.”

“That’s what matters,” Finn said. “Oh, and we ordered pizza.”

“Pepperoni, sausage, and mushroom?” She asked hopefully.

“Of course.”

“You people don’t know what’s good,” Poe muttered. “Fungus on pizza. It’s disgusting.”

“Oh hush, we got you a chicken and bacon, didn’t we?”

She walked across the office, rather enjoying the feel of the plush area rug under her bare feet. “So, what are we looking at?” she asked, motioning to the jumble of papers on the coffee table. The sleeve of Mr. Solo’s shirt fell over her hand. She’d rolled it up as much as possible, but the entire thing kept slipping down her shoulder, causing the sleeve to fall back over her hand every time she moved.

“Everything,” Poe said with a groan, flopping down onto the couch. “We have to go back over everything and make sure Mitaka didn’t screw something else up in the preliminaries.”

“Can I help?”

Mr. Solo nodded and Poe gestured to the papers with a muttered “Go for it.” Rey grabbed the nearest pages and curled up in the corner of the sofa, picking up her mug and sipping at her tea as she sorted through the jumble of papers. Poe did the same with another stack of pages and Finn turned to fiddling with a laptop, updating and re-running the imaging and modeling protocols.

They fell mostly silent, Poe and Rey shuffling papers and occasionally suggesting changes and adjustments for Finn to make while Mr. Solo sat at his desk moving back and forth between his computer and making notes on paper. Rey found herself watching him write, brow furrowed in concentration, the pen in his hand looking comically tiny. It wasn’t the first time she’d noticed her boss was _massive,_ or even the face he made when he was concentrating, but she was fairly certain this fascination with his hands was new.

She blamed the pen.

And if anyone asked that was absolutely what she was looking at.

_Just_ the pen.

_Not_ his hands.

The phone rang and Mr. Solo answered it without looking up. “Yeah, bring them up, please.” It had to be the food. Her stomach growled in anticipation, causing Finn to look up with a grin as Poe poked her with the highlighter he was holding.

She giggled but just flipped to the next page. He poked her again. “Poe, _some_ of us are trying to concentrate.”

“No, you’re not.”

With a put-upon sigh she leaned forward and placed her sheaf of papers on the coffee table. “Poe, I _was_ trying, but _food_!” she whined.

“It’s a valid argument,” Finn said. “Besides, you know what Rey’s like if she doesn’t eat.”

“Heaven save us from that!” Poe punctuated his outburst by tossing his own paper stack in the general direction of the coffee table. The pages fluttered to the floor, earning Poe a pointed glare from Mr. Solo. Of course, Poe’s response was to ignore the papers _and_ the glare, slip his shoes off, and prop his feet on the coffee table.

“Well, this is accomplishing a great deal of nothing,” Rey muttered, standing and stretching, arms over her head, before she went out to wait for the delivery person, Finn following.

Ben watched Rey as she stretched, captivated at how his shirt draped her body, sliding down her shoulder again. Over and over through the course of the evening, his eyes had wandered, seeking her out. He hadn’t been able to decide if he was grateful Finn had given her one of his shirts or if he should curse the very idea. The woman was all manner of distracting. His eyes flicked up again, watching her leave the room, only to find Poe watching him, _studying_ him with a slight smirk.

The other man stood up and approached the desk, not saying anything but standing there expectantly.

“What, Poe?”

Poe just narrowed his eyes, mouth pinched in annoyance.

“Don’t test me tonight, Dameron.”

“You watch her way more than you should.”

“And what does that mean?”

Poe crossed his arms, staring down at him from across the desk.

“It means, Solo, that you want her, badly, and you aren’t exactly being subtle about it.”

Ben scoffed and clicked his mouse button, opening an email.

“Fine, deny it all you want. Whatever. I’m just saying, I can’t be the only one who’s noticed.”

“She’s my _assistant_ , Dameron.” He clicked again; another email deleted.

“She’s also smart and fiery and pretty damn spectacular looking, if you’re into that, and I think you are.”

“I admit she’s attractive.” _Point, click. Type. Click._ “Lots of women are.”

“Yeah, but you don’t watch those women like a starved wolf stalking a wounded caribou.”

Ben blinked and looked up at Poe. “That is an oddly specific comparison.”

Poe shrugged. “Finn and Rey _really_ like nature documentaries.” He paused. “Anyway, that’s beside the point.”

“And what _is_ your point, Poe?”

“My point is that Rey is something special. In just over a month she’s become the sister Finn never had but always wanted. Hell, she feels like my little sister, too. And while she doesn’t really _need_ anyone to protect her—”

Ben snorted and Poe gave him a look before continuing: “I can’t help wanting to. So, if you’re thinking of dating her, fine. We both know she probably won’t be your assistant for long, she’s too talented to be wasted like that, and I think she might be good for you, so long as you make sure you don’t jeopardize the future she could have.”

“I’m not planning to date her. She’s my _assistant._ ”

“And _that_ brings me to my second point. If you’re just looking to use her for a quick fuck, _DON’T._ ”

_Point. Click._ “I’m not planning on that either. We just work together.”

“You and I work together, and you have never once looked at me like that.”

Ben sat back in his chair and looked up, toying with the pen he’d been using to make notes on scratch paper. “Would that make it better; you want me to watch you the way you _claim_ I watch her?”

Poe managed something that might have been a glare. “I’m serious here, Solo.”

“God damn it, Poe, I do not want to fuck my _assistant_!”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, sir, and endeavor to control myself,” Rey said drily, rolling her eyes as she entered the office and dropped the pizza boxes on the corner of his massive desk (the only paper-free surface at the moment).

He groaned and stuttered a bit, stammering an apology only to trail off in shock as Rey smacked Poe in the arm.

“Ow! What did I do?”

“You know very well what you did! Stop needling him, Poe. It’s late, we are all hungry and tired, and your little comments, jokes or not, are not welcome right now. Mr. Solo has never been anything but professional in his interactions with me.” Ben shifted in his chair, uncomfortably remembering the distinctly UN-professional way he had behaved that very morning. Rey gave him a friendly smile as she passed him a plate, smacked another (still empty) one against Poe’s chest, and retreated to the couch with her own food, snatching up her papers again.

It was two hours later that Ben looked up to find Poe staring fondly at Rey and Finn, fast asleep on the couch where they had been trying some modifications to the computer models. Her head was on his shoulder, mouth slightly open.

“How long have they been out?” he asked softly.

Poe started, shaking his head as he looked up. “Dunno, an hour, maybe?”

Ben glanced at the time and swore softly. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. “You should all get home.” He paused, studying Poe as the other man yawned. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yeah, fine. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to drop Rey off though.” Ben blinked at him, a little surprised at what felt like a complete change from just a couple hours prior.

“You sure I can be trusted?” he muttered.

Poe studied him. “Yeah, actually, I do.”

“Where does she live?”

“You’re not gonna believe this one—our old place.”

“That building’s still standing?”

“Yep, and when I say our old place I mean exactly. She and Rose—her roommate that does all the baking—they live in number 17.”

“Huh. Some coincidence.”

“Yeah.” Poe yawned again, standing and stretching before moving over to wake Finn and Rey. Finn woke up immediately, smiling softly at Poe before easing Rey off his shoulder and standing up. Rey, on the other hand, mumbled in her sleep and made a face. Poe tried waking her again and she actually growled at him, rather adorably in fact.

“Come on, Peanut,” Finn said, patting her shoulder. “You have to wake up at least enough to get home.” She grumbled again but her eyes slowly opened.

Poe leaned over her again. “Come on, Rey, Solo’s gonna drive you home, and we’ll pick you up in the morning.” She gave a sleepy nod and attempted to stand up twice before managing to actually do so.

Her shoes were still wet and cold, and having to slide the flats back on (her ankle still wasn’t recovered enough for heels) was enough to have Rey fully awake as she watched Poe and Finn gather their things and head out before collecting her bag and her own light jacket. She picked up the plastic bag she’d placed her wet clothing into and found Mr. Solo waiting for her. She saw the look on his face when he noticed her ratty jacket but mercifully he didn’t comment as he led her to the executive parking area and unlocked a sporty little 2 door (black, of course) that somehow fit her image of him while still seeming completely different from what she expected.

They didn’t talk on the drive to her apartment and she _may_ have fallen asleep halfway there (okay she totally did but it was late and she was tired and he turned he heat on to warm her toes and his car just smelled so _good_ —like he usually did...)

She really hoped she hadn’t said _any_ of that out loud.

The quirk of his lips suggested maybe she had, but he didn’t mention it if so, instead putting the car in Park and coming around to open her door while she blearily gathered her things.

“Can you get in okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, thanks, I’ll be fine. It’s just one flight of stairs.” He didn’t argue or insist on walking her in (and why did she suddenly want him to do either of those things?) but she noticed he also didn’t get back in the car until she was safely inside the building.


	5. Noticing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's been noticing Ben. Ben's been noticing Rey. Poe's still noticing them noticing each other, and he's pretty sure they're both idiots. Also, Rey gets a present.
> 
> _“Uh, Poe, why are you assaulting my assistant with your lips? Do I need to send you to the harassment seminar again?”_
> 
> _Rey turned and saw Mr. Solo standing in the doorway and (she thought) trying very hard not to laugh._
> 
> _“Benny-boy, when I tell you what she found you might just kiss her yourself. You’re also going to want to fire Mitaka and then stomp a hole in him but let’s hold off on that one for now.”_
> 
> _“Dameron.” There was a warning in his low voice. Poe just grinned at him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish, transitional chapter. I think 1-2 more before the company Christmas party (which was the first scene written for this story) and I can't wait to share that with you all.

True to his word, Mr. Solo did in fact _try_ to let Rey take on some of the responsibilities that should have been hers to begin with.

He admitted that his general emails, the ones to his public office account rather than direct personal inbox, were suddenly much more manageable. The number of phone calls he received forwarded to his cell phone dropped considerably. Suddenly people were actually making appointments for meetings and conference calls, rather than “hoping to catch him” or leaving repeated voicemails. He even once made it an entire week without spending the night on his office couch.

And yet Rey was still mostly done with her work for the day by 11:45AM.

Every day.

She almost hoped for some small project crisis so she could _do_ something and feel like she was contributing.

The angry outbursts and broken glassware still happened but less so, she supposed. He did seem to disappear into the stairwell far more often. Or maybe she was just noticing more often.

She _noticed_ lots of things about him with increasing frequency.

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes when someone asked a question or made a comment and he was carefully thinking about how to reply. Most people seemed to think it made him look angry, but it was his thinking face.

His ties and pocket squares (yes, pocket squares) were carefully color coordinated by day, and she was fairly certain he chose his socks along a similar pattern (and really, _why_ did she notice or even care about the color of his _socks_ ). Friday was _always_ some shade of red.

He switched out the pens he carried in his pocket at least once per week, but he _always_ carried at least one of the 3 he’d told her were his favorites.

He favored his right arm and shoulder, especially at the beginning of the week, and she wondered if he had some kind of old injury he irritated on the weekends.

He always smelled amazing. Well, she’d noticed that before. But still…

He fiddled with things when he was thinking, as if it helped him focus.

He paid attention to _everyone_ around him. And he noticed _everything._

Except, apparently, the way Rey noticed _him_ and had picked up on his patterns and habits, had catalogued all his tells.

_It makes it easier to anticipate his needs_ , she thought. Really, that was the reason she watched him more than she probably should. She was learning, trying to be a good assistant. _Except even she didn’t believe that._

At the moment, he was sitting at an angle in his chair at the 14th floor conference table, scribbling a moment and then making a face at his pen.

Out of ink then.

Silently she reached forward, her own pen hovering over his shoulder until he reached up and took it, returning to his notes and a rather intricate drawing of what seemed to be a spider dangling from a web in the corner of the page. He scribbled a note and glanced back at her, making a face at the bold, purple ink. She grinned and held out her hand, showing him the other options had been a neon green highlighter, a bold orange ballpoint, or a glittery pink gel pen.

Rey didn’t use black ink if she could help it, and blue only rarely.

Mr. Solo shook his head and turned back around, at least _attempting_ to pay attention to Mitaka’s voice coming over the speakerphone in a tinny echo (the reception at the project site was too poor for a video feed). Rey rolled her eyes as Mitaka made yet another snide comment about Andor Machinery’s products. If she didn’t leave the room she was going to interrupt him—again—and she already knew how that would go, so she stood from her seat along the wall behind Mr. Solo, grabbed his discarded pen from the table, and slipped from the room.

She returned in 10 minutes with his pen refilled with ink, a mug of _decent_ coffee rather than whatever they had in the conference room dispenser, and a protein bar, all of which she placed in front of him before silently retaking her seat and studiously ignoring the look Poe was shooting her from across the table. She couldn’t help her blush, and she knew Poe, at the very least, could see it, but he turned his attention back to the conference call.

Thankfully Mitaka was no longer speaking so she could stop grinding her teeth.

Rey half-listened, jotting notes of her own and occasionally scribbling a specific question on a sticky note, mostly things mentioned in relation to the project’s upcoming stages or a different piece of equipment. Those she would ask Poe about later. It was a strategy that had already paid off a few times, streamlining the process or catching potential issues so they could be avoided completely. Of course, it also made Poe complain that she should be in his department and an official member of the project team.

By the end of the call, well series of calls and video conferences, the entire room was tense and exhausted. Poe’s hair was standing wildly on end and Rey was genuinely concerned he’d pulled some out.

Mr. Solo abruptly stood and left without a word to anyone and headed for the stairwell, the door there closing behind him with a resounding crash. Rey busied herself gathering his things to put on his desk.

“So, Thai Tuesday?” Poe asked and she smiled.

“Always.” She pressed her pile of sticky notes to the top of the folder in his hand.

“Rose home tonight?”

“Yeah, she’s on mornings the rest of the week.” It had become a bit of a weekly habit, Finn and Poe taking Rey home and stopping on the way for dinner or a take-away, usually on Tuesdays. The men always made sure to include Rose when possible, and make sure she had leftovers for when she got home if she was working late. The four of them had become fast friends, Finn insisting on calling Rey and Rose his sisters and neither of them having a problem with it. Poe accompanied Rey back to the office, glancing over the notes she had given him. “Rey, how the hell do you just know so much about Andor’s designs? It’s like you have his entire back catalog memorized.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Not the _entire_ thing. But he basically uses the same 3 bases for everything.”

“See, that’s what I mean. How do you know that?”

“I studied him.”

“Huh?”

“In Kenobi’s class. I focused on Andor’s designs. Modified them as a final project.”

“What now? Modified? You don’t—you can’t—modified?”

“Yes, Poe. Modified.”

“And they _worked_?”

She made a face. “Of course, they worked, Poe. I wouldn’t have passed the class if they hadn’t.”

“Oh, of course they did. Because you can just…modify Andor’s designs, just like that.” He kept babbling, sputtering in disbelief, while Rey turned to the desk, intent on putting down the bundle of files she had carried back. Unfortunately, Poe’s erratic pacing and flailing gestures took him right into her path and everything went flying. She cursed and knelt down, gathering up the stray papers and trying to restore them to some semblance of order while Poe scrambled to help her, apologizing repeatedly.

Grasping the corner of a paper from under the edge of her desk Rey flipped it over and froze, studying the image before turning the paper each direction and biting her lip. Why would they…

“Poe?”

“Hm?”

“Why is it upside down?”

“Well, Rey, I’m guessing because that’s the way it landed.”

“Not the paper, Poe. The picture. Well, not the whole thing. Here.” She grabbed the pink pen where she’d dropped it on the desk, circling something in the middle of the image and drawing a large, sparkly arrow beside it.

He grabbed it, squinting at the picture. “But…it…how…no wonder it still doesn’t work.” He grabbed her pen, scribbling some notes of his own before he looked back up at her with a serious expression.

“Rey?”

“Yes?”

“Seriously, why the fuck are you up here instead of project engineering?”

“Because they didn’t hire me for project engineering, they hired me to be Mr. Solo’s assistant, not that actually lets me assist much…” she trailed off with a shrug.

“Well we have to fix that. You just saved us – again, Rey.” Poe grinned, grabbed her face in both hands, and placed a loud, smacking kiss on her lips.

“Uh, Poe, why are you assaulting my assistant with your lips? Do I need to send you to the harassment seminar again?”

Rey turned and saw Mr. Solo standing in the doorway and (she thought) trying very hard not to laugh.

“Benny-boy, when I tell you what she found you might just kiss her yourself. You’re also going to want to fire Mitaka and then stomp a hole in him but let’s hold off on that one for now.”

“Dameron.” There was a warning in his low voice. Poe just grinned at him.

Rey blushed and looked down before glancing back up. Mr. Solo was staring back and forth between Rey and Poe and then gave a long, slow blink. “Someone, explain. Now, please.” In answer Poe thrust the page into his hands. Rey watched as Mr. Solo looked down at the combined scribbles she and Poe had made on the margins then back up at them. “Again. Explain, please.”

“The short explanation, Solo, is that _someone_ tried to modify Andor’s design and didn’t do it correctly. The whole problem right now, the reason nothing has worked even with the corrected specs, is that this part, this one tiny little piece in our housing base, is upside down.” Poe wrapped an arm around Rey’s shoulders, hugging her to him as he continued with pride, “And Rey spotted it. Again. And if you don’t make her an official part of this project team right now, then I quit.”

Mr. Solo gave Poe an irritated look. “What do you mean, make her part of the team? Of course, Jackson’s part of the team. She’s the one who keeps feeding you all the solutions. She’s been listed on all the updated team documentation—which I’m now assuming neither of you bothered to read—since the day Andor called my mother and refused to work with us unless she was part of the team.”

It was Rey’s turn to blink owlishly and stare in confusion. “But I’m not…I…what?”

Mr. Solo rubbed at his forehead. “Why, exactly, did you think your afternoons were always clear to work with Poe? I told you I was giving you more responsibilities, Jackson. You are uniquely qualified for this combination of job duties.”

She couldn’t help it. It was just all so much she couldn’t contain herself. With a sputtering gasp, Rey burst into sobs.

Poe wrapped both arms around her, glaring over her shoulder at Ben, who was slowly backing into his office, something akin to horror plastered on his face. Something in Poe’s eyes stopped him from closing the door. Some unspoken challenge, or possibly a threat. Instead he took a deep breath and stepped back out, closing the main door in case anyone came to investigate why, exactly, his assistant was sobbing—loudly. Poe settled onto the couch with her and Ben hovered (however awkwardly) nearby. Eventually her tears slowed, sobs subsiding into hiccups and gasps and she accepted some tissues and a bottle of water.

She wouldn’t look at him.

_Couldn’t_ look at him. She’d assumed (well, convinced herself) Mr. Solo didn’t pay any attention to her beyond their direct interactions—which, looking back, made no sense. She knew he paid attention to _everything._ Why wouldn’t he have noticed her working with Poe, making suggestions and streamlining processes? Pinpointing problems. Checking and _correcting_ Mitaka’s sloppy work.

“I’m sorry,” she croaked out, voice hoarse.

“For what?”

He seemed genuinely confused. Rey gestured helplessly. “For…for breaking down.”

_For assuming I was invisible._

“For keeping you both from whatever else you need to do.”

_For not being enough._

She tried to pull away from Poe, but he made an annoyed sound and tightened the arm around her shoulders.

“Everyone has a breaking point,” Mr. Solo said softly. He stood up and handed something to Poe before disappearing quietly into his office.

Rey didn’t see the shock on Poe’s face as he looked at the key in his hand.

“Get your jacket,” he said.

“What?”

“Just trust me, put your jacket on and come with me.” As perhaps the most damning evidence of how drained Rey was, she did so without argument, then followed him out of the office. She was confused when he led her to the stairwell, but she was too exhausted to question him, even when they went up instead of down as she had expected. At the top was an old door, and Poe produced a key (was that what Mr. Solo had given him?) and unlocked it, leading her out onto the roof.

Rey huddled into her jacket against the chilled air and stepped away from the access door, looking around her and feeling somehow lighter just being _out_. There was a small table and a couple of chairs nearby, and she realized they overlooked the park where the CEO liked to walk and take her cigarette breaks. It was…peaceful.

“What—” she shook her head, unsure what she had even been planning to ask.

Poe offered her a tired smile from where he was leaning back against the door. “This used to be where Leia came for smoke breaks. Then when Ben signed on after he left…his last job, it sort of became his spot.” Poe walked over, joining her against the high ledge enclosing the area. “He comes up here to think…or possibly just hide. Solo is _not_ a people person.”

Rey snorted. That was an understatement.

“Anyway, I’m guessing he thought you might find it calming too.” Poe studied her as she looked out over the park. “And it looks like he was right.” Poe shivered and handed her the key. “I’m gonna go back in before Finn’s favorite appendage freezes off.” He laughed when she smacked him, relieved that she was acting a little more Rey-like. “When you’re ready to go back, lock up and take the key back to Ben for me?”

Rey nodded, not looking away from the view as he headed back inside.

Poe found Ben staring out his office window, studying the same view he’d left Rey gazing over. “You’re an idiot, you know.”

Ben scowled in his general direction. “So you like to tell me.”

“Eh, sometimes it bears repeating.” Poe crossed the office and looked out the window as well. “Why didn’t you just tell her? About the project team?”

“I thought she knew Poe. She’s so…meticulous. It never occurred to me she wasn’t reading over every update that went out.” He paused and glanced over before continuing, “I admit, I should have known better than to expect _you_ to read.”

Poe grinned. “I’m a numbers guy, I don’t do words.”

“Well that bodes well for you writing your own vows. I feel sorry for Finn.”

“And that’s why my best man is going to help me with them.”

“That’s above my pay grade,” Ben said.

They fell silent again before Poe shifted, took a breath to speak, and paused again. “What is it, Poe?”

“This…whatever this thing is, with you and Rey—and before you say anything to deny it, just let me say this, okay? Whatever it is, you need to acknowledge it, at least to yourself.”

“There’s nothing to acknowledge, Poe.”

“You had me take her to the _roof_ , Ben. She’s up there right now. Not even the maintenance staff goes up there now. You may as well have had me tuck her into your _bed_.”

Ben gave him an annoyed look. “She’s my assistant…and maybe, I guess, a friend. But that’s all. She _can’t_ be more.”

“Okay, then. Fine…you’re still an idiot.”

Poe closed the door behind him.

“Yes, I am.”

Rey returned to the office with about an hour left in her day. She returned the key with a soft, “Thank you.”

He nodded and offered a soft smile and she caught her breath, something in her chest squeezing tight. She returned a small smile of her own and turned to go, pausing at his voice.

“Rey? I am sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

He leaned back against his chair, staring at her intently, in that way he had that made her feel like he was gazing into her soul. “No, I do owe you an apology—again. I thought you knew. You’re detail oriented. Conscientious. Why didn’t you ever read the updated paperwork?”

She flushed under his scrutiny. “It wasn’t mine.”

His eyes widened a bit. Of course. He should have known she would consider that a violation of privacy. “And I didn’t tell you to.”

She shook her head and looked down, biting her lip. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you, sir.”

“I don’t believe you could.” Rey’s head snapped up and Ben realized he’d said it out loud. He glanced down and cleared his throat, scrambling to cover.

_Damn Poe. Making him think…things._

“Your work so far has been exemplary,” he forced out, grabbing a pen and fiddling with the cap. “Even though I never bothered to specify _what_ you were supposed to do, you were still…yeah.” He looked away, steadfastly ignoring the flush creeping up her face and neck. He’d made her uncomfortable.

_I wonder if she blushes all over._

_NO._

_NO, I DON’T._

He cleared his throat again, accepting her mumbled excuse as she fled the room, waiting until the door clicked shut behind her before he buried his face in his hands with a groan.

Finn and Poe were waiting by the car when Rey made her way out of the elevator. Finn looked her over, face pinched as she approached, shivering at the cold breeze coming through the employee parking deck. “Why don’t you have a new coat yet?”

Rey shrugged and held up one foot. “After I sprained my ankle, I needed flats more.”

Finn crossed his arms. “Rey, that was weeks ago.”

“Next paycheck.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“Well, something came up.”

“Right. Just like the time before that.” She climbed into the back seat of their small car. “Rey, we’re family, right? We all agreed.” She nodded. “Will you please just let me buy you a coat?”

“No, Finn.”

“Stubborn woman,” he muttered, though not without affection.

Finn was still grumbling about her resistance to taking any help when they arrived at her apartment door, laden down with bags of food, to find a glossy white box tied with a deep red ribbon propped against the door. Rey pushed the box to the side with her foot so she could unlock the door, leading them in with the food before returning for the box. There was a tag with her name and address on it but nothing else. She carried it inside and placed it on the sofa then stood staring down, as if afraid to open it.

The door opened again, and Rose burst into the room, as always, a ball of energy. “Thai Tuesday! Yes! Oh, a present! What is it? Who’s it from?” She paused and walked over. “Rey?”

Rey blinked. “Oh, Rose. Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, just tired. Long day.” She flinched when Poe scoffed but he didn’t say anything.

Rose flopped onto the couch beside the box. “Well? Are you going to open it?”

“I…”

“Rey, what’s wrong sweetie?”

“I don’t know who it’s from.”

“So then open it.”

Rey blinked again, shaking herself, and reached a trembling hand out to open the box. Why was she afraid of a box? The ribbon slipped off with ease and she lifted the lid to reveal a tissue wrapped coat in a lovely black brocade. She turned to Finn and Poe. “Did you do this?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“I swear Rey, we did not do this…but I might know who did,” Poe said. “Check for a card.”

Rey lifted the heavy fabric, revealing a small card in the bottom of the box.

_Rey,_

_Congratulations on putting up with my son for 60 days. I have been informed you won’t appreciate anything impractical, so this is my attempt at practical. According to Ben your current coat is well loved and probably not heavy enough._

_Leia_

Rey held up the card and blinked in confusion. “Why is the CEO buying me a coat?”

Poe looked at the card and laughed. “60 days already? I hadn’t realized it had been that long.”

“But…why? I’ve worked there for two months. Why should they be giving me gifts?”

“It’s a thing she does. She gives people stuff. Appreciation gifts.”

“I can’t possibly accept this, though.”

“Oh, but you have to,” Finn said.

“Yeah, don’t insult the head of the company by refusing her gift. She’s shown admirable restraint here,” Poe added.

“Restraint?” Rey huffed and gestured to the brand name on the label. “How is that restraint?”

“It’s not leather, fur, or a designer original. Trust me. Restraint.”

“It’s a really nice coat, Rey.” Rose reached out then jerked her hand back before actually making contact. Her work as an AC Repair tech meant her hands were about as black as the coat. “I should go wash up before we eat.”

At Finn’s urging Rey tried the coat on, finding it (to her great frustration) absolutely perfect. As she slipped it back off, she almost thought she caught a whiff of…no, definitely her imagination. Why would her new coat smell like her boss’ cologne?

She hung the coat on a hook on the back of the door and resolved not to think about work anymore tonight. It was Thai Tuesday. She was going to eat too much, laugh with her family, and hopefully sleep for once.


	6. Enter November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November is stressful, Mitaka is still a jerk, and Rey learns new information about her kickboxing instructor.
> 
> _The air was crisp, maybe even cold, but there was no wind and the sun was out. Poe had warmed the bag of pastries and Rey reached for a delicious looking chocolate croissant at the same moment as Mr. Solo. He pulled back, urging her to take it. Wordlessly, she picked it up and tore it in half, holding out one piece to him with a grin._
> 
> _“Not that I don’t appreciate being invited up here—I mean, it’s like hallowed ground—but what exactly are we doing?” Finn asked._
> 
> _“Having breakfast,” Mr. Solo said._
> 
> _“And hiding from Mitaka,” Rey muttered before leaning in to steal a bite of Finn’s donut._

October ended with a rant from Mr. Solo about the idiocy of Halloween as an over-commercialized holiday. The outburst appeared to have been brought on by a bowl of candy and an adorable figurine of a black kitten inside a Jack-o-lantern which Rey had placed on the corner of her desk.

Her response had been to calmly tell him he clearly didn’t know enough pagans, that she wouldn’t let him have any candy since it was clearly offensive to him, and that she was going to keep the figurine on display the first two weeks of November before mentioning that ‘some people had work to do’ and turning back to her computer, where she hid her grin and pretended to ignore him while clearing her inbox.

The smile she’d gotten in return had been worth listening to the rant in the first place.

When he had attempted to steal a piece of candy later, thinking she was distracted by whatever she and Poe were discussing, she smacked his hand and moved the candy bowl, never once looking away from Poe.

He’d pouted until she gave him a cupcake (courtesy of Rose, of course), topped with real, salted buttercream and a candy bat.

Poe observed the entire interaction but wisely didn’t mention it.

With the exception of still seeing Bazine Netal (who was looking increasingly disheveled when she left each week) every Wednesday, the beginning of November proved to be pleasant and surprisingly calm.

To avoid seeing Bazine leave, Rey began finding excuses to be out of the office between 3:45 and 4:15 every Wednesday. Mr. Solo didn’t seem to notice, and Poe rarely knew what day it was anymore, constantly buried in paperwork and problems. He just appreciated the extra help as the project was winding down, initial testing largely successful.

Unfortunately, two weeks into the month brought the return of Mitaka.

On Monday, he ate the entire platter of cookies Rose had baked and sent with Rey for Poe and Finn’s anniversary.

Tuesday, he “accidentally” knocked Rey’s lunch in the floor, knowing she only had 10 minutes before the project team was due to be in the conference room for a call with Cassian Andor himself.

On Wednesday afternoon, Rey returned from working with Poe to find Mitaka sprawled in her chair, feet up on the desk, and with his grubby paws on her pen case (despite the fact she was sure she had locked her desk drawer).

On Thursday he snidely referred to her as “Secretary” at every given opportunity and attempted to order her around. Ignoring him only served to encourage his behavior and pouring hot coffee in his lap—though an appealing idea—would be more trouble than it was worth.

Friday morning, she seriously considered taking a sick day, but she didn’t want him to think he had won. Still, her hesitation had made her miss her bus and she was 30 minutes late when she arrived, out of breath, only to find him at her desk again, this time on the phone with someone and complaining once again about Andor Machinery.

She nearly cried in relief when Mr. Solo stepped out of his office, gruffly ordered Mitaka to be “anywhere else so long as I can’t see or hear you,” and studied Rey with a great deal of concern.

“I’m so sorry I was late, sir,” she began, but he waved her off as he made his way to the coffee maker, grimacing as he realized someone—most likely Mitaka—had finished off the entire pot.

“Don’t worry about it, Jackson. _Your_ work ethic I’m not worried about. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about possibly adjusting your schedule anyway.”

“Is there a problem, Mr. Solo? I assure you this was a one-time issue.”

“Rey, I just said I’m not concerned about that. It just occurs to me that you’re probably here way too much.”

She stared at him and swallowed. “If I’ve been a bother in any way—”

“What? No! That’s not what I’m trying to say. Just…let me try this again after more coffee…” he trailed off, turning to the machine as if watching it could make it work faster.

Rey turned to her computer, logging in and skimming over her inbox as she tried to pretend she was fine.

“Rey.” His voice was soft, hesitant, and she looked up to find him standing in front of her desk, thinking face in place. He held a steaming mug in his hand, pushed another across the desk towards her. “Still coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon, right?” She nodded and he cleared his throat, looking at the ceiling for a moment. She took a tentative sip and it was…perfect. “I’m trying very hard not to put my foot in my mouth again, here,” he muttered, still not looking at her. “All I meant to say was you seem…not yourself lately, and I am worried you’re working too much. I just wanted to know if we need to change your hours, or maybe adjust your start times. If I’ve put too much on you. Something.” He stared down at her, pausing before adding, “I— _we—_ um _,_ I mean the _team_ of course—can’t afford to lose you.”

She flushed and it was her turn to look away, staring at the mug cradled in her hands. “I have no intention of going anywhere, Mr. Solo. I’m sorry if it seems that way. I don’t always sleep well, and this week I have been…more tense than usual.” She thought about how best to phrase it, not wanting to whine about Mitaka. “I suppose I don’t handle it well when something upsets my routine.”

She chanced a glance up at him, noting the tightness in his expression. She had a feeling he knew exactly what she meant. She was fairly certain Mr. Solo had been waiting all week for Mitaka to give him an excuse, but unpleasant though he may be the other man was careful to always toe the line between “annoying” and “actionable” when it came to anything that would warrant disciplinary action—at least in front of witnesses. And even Rey had to admit he wasn’t completely useless. He had made a few good points regarding the long-term viability of the current project, and they hadn’t found any more mistakes that could be attributed to him—this week.

Mr. Solo studied her for a long moment, thinking face firmly in place before nodding as if he had decided something. “We have an hour before we have to be on the call with Andor. Shall we have Poe and Finn steal some of the good pastries from the 3rd floor break room and join us on the roof for coffee?”

“That sounds lovely,” she said with a smile, some of the tension draining out of her just at the idea.

When Poe and Finn arrived with their purloined pastries (Poe was particularly proud of that one), Mr. Solo helped Rey into her coat and led the way to the stairwell. Rey paused long enough to lock the outer office door, immensely pleased at the thought that Mitaka wouldn’t be able to get in, nor would he have any idea where to find them. She dropped her keys in her coat pocket and reclaimed her coffee cup from Finn, offering him a genuine smile for what felt like the first time that week.

The air was crisp, maybe even cold, but there was no wind and the sun was out. Poe had warmed the bag of pastries and Rey reached for a delicious looking chocolate croissant at the same moment as Mr. Solo. He pulled back, urging her to take it. Wordlessly, she picked it up and tore it in half, holding out one piece to him with a grin.

“Not that I don’t appreciate being invited up here—I mean, it’s like hallowed ground—but what exactly are we doing?” Finn asked.

“Having breakfast,” Mr. Solo said.

“And hiding from Mitaka,” Rey muttered before leaning in to steal a bite of Finn’s donut.

He jerked it away (too late) with a “Hey, get your own!”

“Why, when I can steal yours?” she asked, sipping her coffee and sending him innocent eyes.

Finn elbowed Poe when Solo handed Rey half of the only cheese Danish, his fiancé’s only reply a muttered “I told you.”

“Told him what?” Rey asked around a mouthful of Danish as she reached for the napkin Solo was holding out for her.

“Nothing. Wedding stuff,” he said hurriedly.

“Right. You’re a terrible liar Finn. I’m just going to assume it’s a weird sex thing and not ask any more questions.” Solo laughed from behind her and Rey grinned back at him.

“Rey, don’t make me send you and Poe to the harassment seminar.”

“What? Why me? What did I do?” Poe demanded in mock-offense.

“Which day?”

“That’s fair,” Poe admitted getting a delighted laugh from Rey.

“You can’t send us to the harassment seminar for anything said on the roof. The roof is a safe zone,” Rey insisted.

“Yeah, it is,” Solo said softly, leaning back against the wall and studying the three of them before turning around and staring out at the park. Rey joined him there, a small smile on her face as she watched the few people out this time of the morning.

They were all in better spirits when they dropped off their coats in the office and gathered notes, files, and Finn’s laptop for the video conference.

Mitaka caught Rey at the conference room door with a snide, “Hey secretary, I need coffee.” Without pausing or even bothering to look at him, she replied that he knew _exactly_ where he could go to get it before walking into the room and claiming the seat beside Mr. Solo while Finn set up various pieces of equipment.

Seven minutes before they were due to begin, Mitaka slunk back into the room, sitting as far from the others as possible while still being at the table.

Four minutes before the scheduled start time, Leia breezed into the conference room announcing a change of plans for the day. “No need for a call today, Cassian Andor will be here in 20 minutes.” Mitaka paled and shifted in his chair. “Ben, you’re taking Cassian and Jyn to dinner tonight, Maz already made the reservations, and he’s requested you bring Rey and Poe.” And then she was out of the room again, unaware of the near-devastation left in her wake.

“Well, guess that cancels date night,” Poe muttered darkly while Finn patted his arm and tried not to look too upset.

“This is what you get for trying to shorten my hours,” Rey said to her boss, the sparkle in her eyes taking the sting out of her words.

Mitaka seemed unable to decide whether he was relieved or offended at being left out (though knowing Mitaka he’d likely settle on offended).

Cassian Andor was pleasant, focused, and transparent in his obvious dislike of Mitaka. Rey bit back a grin the third time Andor implied Mitaka was an idiot, and when Mitaka attempted to get under Rey’s skin with his needling comments again, he made the mistake of letting both Cassian and Mr. Solo hear him.

It was Cassian Andor who looked up and said, “Leave this room. Don’t come back.”

When he tried to argue, Mr. Solo—never even looking up—added, “You heard him, get out, and reschedule your flight. You can go back tonight.”

“This is MY project!”

“Actually, it’s _mine_ ,” Poe said firmly, “and _you_ have screwed it six ways to Sunday. Rey has saved your ass more times than I can count, and you will treat her with the respect she deserves—the respect she has _earned_ —as a member of this team.” Mitaka opened his mouth again. “If I were you, Mitaka, I would leave before someone calls security.” Poe’s voice had dropped, roughened to a dangerous tone. It was the most frightening she had ever seen Poe and in that moment she could see how he understood Ben Solo so very well.

Mitaka was a storm of cursing in the hallway as he stomped to the elevators.

Rey blinked and shook her head, staring blankly down at the papers in front of her.

“Might I request a break, perhaps a coffee and time to…regroup?” Andor said.

Finn came around the table, limbs stiff as he sank into the chair beside Rey. “You okay, Peanut?”

She offered him a weak smile. “Fine, thanks, though I could have handled him myself. He’ll just be even more difficult and unpleasant moving forward.” She glanced across the table at Poe before grinning at Finn and leaning forward to whisper, “Also, your fiancé’s kind of hot when he gets angry.”

“Yes, he is,” Finn agreed.

At the look on his face, Rey couldn’t resist adding, “Please don’t ever tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

The rest of the day passed pleasantly—and more importantly, _productively_ , and they ended the day with three largely successful computer models and a brief list of things to follow up on.

Cassian followed Mr. Solo and Rey back to the office, making pleasant conversation with Rey about trivial nothings while she unlocked the outer door for them.

The two men went into Mr. Solo’s office and Rey sank into her chair, toeing off her shoes for a moment with a grateful sigh. If she hadn’t liked Cassian Andor before, his actions that day would have endeared him to her forever. As it was, she was fairly certain her respect for him couldn’t possibly increase more. Rey scrolled through her inbox, checking to see if there was anything new she or Mr. Solo needed to deal with before the end of the day. The only thing was an updated flight itinerary for Mitaka. The arse had booked himself into an upgraded first-class seat at the company’s expense, but at least he was leaving.

She’d let Mr. Solo and accounting deal with that one next week. Jessika had already filed one complaint about Mitaka’s unauthorized expenses.

Voices in the hallway alerted her that someone was coming her way just as the inner office door opened and Cassian Andor stepped out, a very nice smile on his face as he went into the hallway to meet the woman being escorted in by Han Solo.

Jyn Erso—because of course that was who she was—stepped away from Han Solo mid-sentence and met her husband in the hallway for a kiss, snuggling into Cassian’s arms as if they’d been apart for days rather than the few hours he’d been in the SOS building. Rey found herself jealous, not of Jyn, but of the ease and comfort they had with one another. Cassian led his wife into the office, followed by Han Solo.

Rey sensed someone step up beside her and turned to find Mr. Solo standing there, waiting as Cassian introduced Jyn.

Jyn Erso had a _presence_ that seemed to radiate both comfort and authority. She’d dressed casually, in a blue sweater and dark wash skinny jeans and boots Rey would _love_ to have (seriously, where and how had she found _flat_ boots?) and her smile was open and warm as she shook hands with Rey and Mr. Solo making the appropriate comments about how it was nice to meet them before offering a genuine, “I’m so sorry you got roped into giving up your Friday night to host us.”

“Your mother is a force of nature,” Cassian offered with a grin aimed at Mr. Solo.

Han Solo laughed from where he was hovering in the doorway. “That she is,” he said fondly, drawing his son’s attention.

“Did you need something, Dad?” Ben uttered with a slight frown.

“Just escorting Jyn here upstairs and saying hello.” He didn’t move away, and Rey felt her boss tensing as he waited for his father to either say something else or leave. The elder Solo grinned and Rey could see the resemblance to his son more clearly than she ever had before. Even just the way he lounged in the doorway, owning the space, was something his son did as naturally as breathing. “Also, I took the liberty of cancelling the reservations your mother had Maz make. Figured after the week your team has had the last thing you’d want to do was get dressed up and spend hours at the kind of restaurant Leia prefers. The Falcon’s holding a table if you want, or there’s always delivery pizza and the six pack I hid from your mother in my office.” Han straightened and turned to leave, tossing “Oh, I called Poe and told him to bring Finn with him, too. You kids have fun,” back over his shoulder just as Poe rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, Finn in tow. “Poe, Finn,” he greeted the couple as he walked away.

“Good night, Mr. Solo,” Rey called out, receiving a quick waive over Han’s shoulder.

“I can’t remember our last pizza night,” Jyn said, a note of excitement creeping into her voice.

In the end they did order pizza, but they didn’t steal Han’s beer stash, sticking with water and sodas as they settled comfortably in the office.

Poe and Finn charmed Jyn immediately, and when the food arrived it was hard to determine who dove in with more gusto—Rey or Jyn.

It was fun, in fact the most fun Rey had had since the last Thai Tuesday with Finn, Poe, and Rose (which had sadly been weeks now, thanks to the long hours they had all been working).

Still, it was technically a work dinner and eventually the focus turned to the details of the current project’s wrap up and the beginning of negotiations for a possible exclusive partnership between SOS Special Projects and Andor Machinery in the future.

At some point Poe made a passing reference to the fact that Rey had modified some of Cassian’s designs in the past while discussing the possibility of exclusive components being made for SOS. THAT had captured Andor’s attention and the pair spent 20 minutes spouting design specs and model numbers back and forth, debating the merits of each as the rest of the room just stared at them.

“The K2 line is a reliable option, but I still think the 3P0 model would work best for what you’re suggesting, given some basic changes and a new housing,” Rey insisted.

“Show me,” Cassian said, producing a notepad from his pocket and handing it to Rey.

Nodding, Rey took the paper and held her hand out to Ben, who had settled himself on the other end of the sofa in his office from her. Poe and Finn had folded themselves onto the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table, while Jyn and Cassian had been offered the chairs pulled over from the corner. “Magma, please,” Rey requested sweetly, and he fished the black and red fountain pen out of his inner pocket, handing it to her without a moment’s hesitation. Finn gasped but Rey paid him no mind as she uncapped the pen and mapped out a simple sketch, pausing after the first mark hit the paper, brow wrinkled at the brownish red ink. “Oxblood?” At Mr. Solo’s nod of assent she grinned. “I told you.” And then she turned back to the paper, finishing the drawing and scribbling some quick notes and calculations across the bottom of the page before handing the notepad back to Andor.

The man studied the paper carefully, eyes going wide. “How did you come up with this?” he asked excitedly, and proceeded to hang on Rey’s every word as she began an animated explanation of her work in her Master’s program and the project she had completed for Doctor Kenobi. Unsurprisingly, Poe was the only other person truly able to follow their conversation, although Jyn asked several shrewd questions and Finn gave the occasional nod.

By the time Jyn and Cassian bid them good night and set out for their suite at the Falcon, Cassian had only _half_ -jokingly offered to double Rey’s pay if she’d quit SOS immediately and come work with him (an offer met with what sounded like a growl from Mr. Solo and grumbles of protest from Poe) and the terms of an agreement between the two companies for the future partnership were already sketched out.

Mr. Solo ended up driving Rey home again, and they made the trip in a companionable silence. Again, he didn’t walk her in but she swore she could _feel_ his eyes on her all the way into the building and she was fairly certain he didn’t pull away until he saw the light come on through her living room window, though she wasn’t certain how he would know which one was _her_ window.

Saturday, Rey slept in until 7AM before hopping in the shower and preparing to meet Finn for their kickboxing class at the nearby community center. Once she had talked Finn into joining the class, they had tried convincing Poe, but he still steadfastly refused, insisting he wasn’t going to pay to have people watch his fiancé beat him up. Rose occasionally joined them, but she worked most weekends, so it proved difficult for her to attend regularly.

The 8AM Saturday start time didn’t keep the class from being full, and interest in expanding the offerings had apparently paid off, as they arrived to find fliers on the bulletin board announcing signups for Judo, Jiu Jitsu, and Aikido classes to begin after the New Year. Rey couldn’t contain her squeal of excitement, and she pouted when Finn pointed out she would need to pick _one_ class unless she planned to drop kickboxing.

“Good morning Rey, Finn! Did you see the signup sheets?” their instructor called as they entered the room.

Rey bounced happily as she nodded. “Good morning, Luke! Yes, it’s wonderful news, but Finn says I can only take one more class.”

“Well, he’s got a point. You shouldn’t overload yourself. Maybe you can work up to a third after a few months.”

“Will you be teaching all three new classes, too?”

He nodded and smiled. “Yes, but I will have some help from my nephew when he’s available, and a couple of old friends—oh, excuse me, I need to speak to someone before we get started,” he said, before waving to someone coming in behind them. Rey turned and found some of the younger students tumbling into the room, and behind them Luke was chatting amiably with the mother of the youngest two children. She didn’t notice the tall silhouette in the doorway behind the family, so it was with some shock when she heard the deep rumble of her boss’s voice as she and Finn stowed their coats on the far side of the room.

She spun around and stumbled, only stopped from falling by Finn’s reflexes as he caught her elbow and looked from Rey to Ben and Luke.

“Oh, shit! You didn’t know, did you?”

“Know what?”

“Rey, this class is taught by Luke _Skywalker_ , as in Leia’s twin brother and Ben’s uncle.” Her mouth gaped open. “I hadn’t realized you wouldn’t have recognized him. I forget you didn’t start at SOS until after Luke stepped down and became more of a silent partner. Sorry, Peanut, it feels like I’ve known you forever and I just forget sometimes it’s only been months.”

“It’s fine, Finn, I was just surprised, his last name never came up and I just never expected to see anyone else from SOS _here._ ” Rey shook her head, forcing herself to look away from her boss as he laughed at something his uncle said. The urge to flee was strong for some reason, and she couldn’t quite figure out why. She didn’t have much chance to consider it, as Luke bade his nephew goodbye (and watching him leave she felt the urge to run out the door _after_ him rather than away), called the class to order, and ran them through 30 minutes of calisthenics and stretching as a warm-up.

By the end of the 2-hour class Rey was sweaty, pleasantly sore, and _starving_. She waved at Finn as he climbed into his car and tried to decide whether food or a shower was the more pressing need as she began the short walk back to her apartment building. For the sake of everyone around her, she decided on a shower.

The rest of her weekend was uneventful, leading into a surprisingly calm week, particularly as no more project emergencies cropped up. She actually found herself growing bored again, and even braved asking Mr. Solo a couple of times if there wasn’t something else she could _please_ help him with. He’d given her a long, odd look and said no.

_Sir._

She’d taken to calling him _sir_ a little more frequently and Maker help him, he liked it a little too much. She’d come into his office and begged him for “some way she could help, sir” and his brain had short circuited.

Damn it, they were right. All of them.

Hux.

Poe.

Bazine.

His _mother_.

Hell, Cassian Andor had seen them interacting for a few hours and still made some rather pointed (and accurate) comments when he was in town.

Ben groaned and dropped his forehead to his desk. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore.

He’d even agreed to help Luke teach martial arts classes…with _kids_.

All because he knew Rey wanted to take Jiu Jitsu or Judo. She’d mentioned it _once_. ONE TIME, her _third_ day.

The same day his mother ran over her. The same day he found out she wore _stockings_ to work.

And now, for the second time, she had come into his office, called him _sir_ , and _begged_ to help him. The only things he could picture her _helping_ him with had nothing to do with work. So he’d stared at her, trying _not_ to keep picturing her bent over his desk and praying enough blood would move back into the top of his body that he could string two words together, and told her no.

He scrubbed his hands over his face and grabbed for his phone.

“Dameron. My office.” And then after a pause, “Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Thanksgiving (because Poe demanded that be included and including it here would have been a MASSIVE chapter) and then the company holiday party.


	7. Turkey Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Finn convince Rey to join them for Thanksgiving, not telling her who their host is until after she's in the car.
> 
> _“Rey, would you like us to leave you alone with the dessert table?” Poe teased._
> 
> _“You can all bloody well stay and watch for all I care,” she said, bending over to better reach a platter of cookies on the far side of the counter. There was a clatter behind her, and she turned to find Poe and Finn grinning and Ben picking his fork up from the floor. He tossed it into the sink and left the room, a door closing somewhere down the hall with a firm thud. Rey shot a questioning glance to the men still at the table, shrugged, and turned back to the array of treats before her, trying to decide what else to add to the already precariously stacked desserts on her plate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, delayed gratification is not my forte. Therefore, another update this weekend before I go back to work, and hopefully the chapter with the SOS holiday party before the end of the week. Also, a sincere thank you to everyone reading this, regardless of whether or not you've commented or left kudos, and an extra thanks to those of you who commented more than once! I feel like I am starting to remember how writing works (finally)!

Thanksgiving wasn’t really something Rey cared much about. It wasn’t like she grew up in America, and she’d never had any family to spend it with, even if she had.

Rose and Paige were going home for the weekend and of course they invited Rey to join them, but she had politely declined, not wanting to intrude on their time as a family and (perhaps more importantly) not wanting the anxiety the travel and the large family gathering would doubtless stir up in her. No, she far preferred to spend the day alone, with a dinner of spaghetti with meat sauce and a marathon of her favorite horror movies.

The adorably horrified look on Finn’s face at her reply when he innocently asked what her plans were for the holiday was something she would remember always. Poe had grinned but then insisted she come with them. They were going to a friend’s place for the day, he said, and he kept insisting she should come along, and that it would be a quiet, low-key day with only a few people and no sports.

She gave in after being hounded for a week. After all, it was free food she didn’t have to cook, and she trusted Poe and Finn when they promised she wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the number of people.

Of course, when they picked her up that morning and she found out where they were going, she was completely overwhelmed for a different reason and nearly ended up hyperventilating in the back seat of their car.

“How could you not tell me, Poe?”

“I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” he shrugged but winced at the state she was in before continuing: “It’s not like you don’t already know him.”

“Poe, he’s my _boss_!” She said before covering her face and groaning again.

“Yeah, technically he’s all of our boss. But he’s also one of my best friends, and I thought the two of you were on friendly terms.”

“I mean we are but…Poe, you don’t just invite someone to tag along to a family holiday at another person’s house, especially when that person is your boss.”

“I didn’t. I mean, I told him we were bringing you and he was fine with it.”

“Are you _sure_ about that?”

Poe shrugged and Finn piped up from the passenger seat. “It really is fine, Peanut. Solo has a deal with his mother—he goes to her Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties with minimal complaints and in return he gets to do Thanksgiving the way he wants—low key, with a few friends and no sports. He even invited some of the people at work who don’t have any other place to go—well, okay, technically he had us invite them—they just didn’t take him up on it because they’re put off by his reputation.”

Well that was certainly new information. Not the part about people being “put off” but that Ben Solo, who hated socializing, would invite people to his _home_ for a _social event_ just so they would have somewhere to go on what could be a very lonely and depressing holiday. She supposed it did fit with what she knew about him as a person. He may deny it, but Ben Solo cared about other people. He clearly just didn’t like being trapped with large groups of them, and Rey couldn’t fault him for that.

She was somewhat calm when they arrived and parked in a visitor space at his building. It was an older building, but very well maintained. Some part of her had expected a sleek glass and chrome high rise but this…wasn’t that. She took one of the bags Finn handed to her and followed Poe into the building where he signed in with an actual security guard before leading them to the elevator. Unfortunately, the moment they stepped out into the hallway and Poe led the way to the door, every ounce of potential panic she had fought down came flooding back.

 _What was she doing here? Why had she come along? What had she been thinking?_ She could hear the blood roaring in her ears, and it was getting hard to breathe.

Rey closed her eyes and forced a deep, slow breath.

This was fine. She could do this. It wasn’t any different than seeing him in the office.

Except she was going to be in his home.

And it was nothing like work.

And he was opening the door and oh dear…Rey swallowed hard as she caught sight of her formidable boss looking far more relaxed than she had ever seen him in a soft black sweater stretched tight across his shoulders and jeans that seemed to mold to every muscle and oh dear, why was it hard to breathe again?

He stepped back and gestured them in, and Rey followed Finn to the kitchen with the bag he’d given her to carry.

As she glanced around her, Rey couldn’t help the thought that the interior of the apartment was very ‘Ben Solo.’ Mostly gray and black with pops of red, lots of glass and chrome, but the occasional heavy wooden antique or pop of color from the spine of a book showed hints of his real personality, rather than the stony façade he presented to so much of the world.

Unlike the rest of the apartment, the kitchen was a center of riotous chaos. Every available surface was covered with food, mostly already prepared but near the stove were orderly clusters of ingredients, bowls, and utensils. The massive stove was covered in at least 4 different dishes all happily emitting steam and the most amazing smells.

She watched in awe as Finn and Mr. Solo—Ben, they weren’t at work, she could at least _think_ of him as Ben—moved seamlessly around one another in the kitchen, stirring things and passing one another ingredients, salting and tasting and suggesting what else should be added.

She sensed Poe come up behind her and he leaned his chin on her shoulder as he watched his fiancé and best friend work together. “I’m guessing they do this a lot?”

“When they can,” Poe said. “I’m a disaster in the kitchen, but Finn learned to fend for himself early on and Ben enjoys cooking, says it relaxes him. He just doesn’t have much time to do it.”

“So, Thanksgiving is his day.”

“Yep.”

Rey jumped a little when something black streaked into the room and wound around her leg, a plaintive meow echoing up at her. “Oh, hello there, you startled me.” The cat stared up at her, yellow-green eyes focused as another meow trailed out and its tail flicked against her knee.

“That’s Deathstar. She’s BB’s sister,” Poe said, referring to his own orange and white monstrosity of a cat. “She doesn’t usually like people. I’m surprised she came out of hiding at all.” The cat glared up at Poe and hissed, as if angry with him for spilling her secrets, before rubbing up against Rey’s leg again and then slipping back out of the room.

“Dameron!” Ben called, not turning around from his place in front of the stove. “Drinks!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on!” Poe stepped into the kitchen, headed for the gleaming stainless-steel refrigerator. He handed chilled water bottles to the men at the stove, retrieved a hard cider for Rey, whispering that maybe it would help calm her as he handed it over, and grabbed some sort of cola for himself, draining nearly half of it and following up with a belch before grinning as Rey gave him a playful swat. “I’ve heard worse from you,” he muttered back at her, earning another smack.

“If you two are finished, the traditional Thanksgiving movie is ready to go in the living room,” Ben said, leaning against the counter by the stove with a grin that sent a zing through Rey’s body. Poe cheered and grabbed Rey’s arm, dragging her along—stumbling—behind him. She heard Ben’s rich laugh trailing after them and couldn’t contain a giggle of her own at her friend’s antics.

“So, what is this traditional Thanksgiving movie?” she asked curiously as Poe fiddled with a massive remote control.

“You’ll see,” he said, refusing to tell her any more until the opening titles played through and chortling with glee at her confusion when the opening scene of _Addams Family Values_ started. Throughout the course of the movie Finn and Ben floated in and out of the room, apparently coming in to view their favorite scenes before wandering back to the kitchen, occasionally reciting bits of dialogue along with the actors. Poe seemed to have the entirety memorized, Ben not far behind. Finn for his part just screamed out “Eat me!” along with the song when the bit with the summer camp stage play came on.

After the credits rolled Rey just stared at Poe for a long moment before venturing, “So it’s a Thanksgiving movie because the kids have to do a bad play, at SUMMER camp, about the “First Thanksgiving” and the turkey sings a song about being killed and eaten?”

“Pretty much.” She rolled her eyes, and Poe took the final sip of his drink then grinned. “Eh, it started when Ben and I were kids. Our mothers were friends, so we always went to his house for holidays and stuff. They kept trying to make us be social, thought we should be friends because we’re the same age, as if that’s all it takes.”

“Well it seems to have worked.”

“Not the way they wanted,” the voice came from behind her and Rey turned, finding her boss leaning against the doorframe, his ‘thinking face’ firmly in place.

“True,” Poe said. “We rebelled by hiding out in his game room, playing video games and watching whatever movie would annoy our mothers most, instead of ‘socializing’ with the grown-ups and pretending we cared about football. Last year we decided to revive the tradition.”

“Why last year?”

Poe glanced at Mr. Solo, grimaced, and shook his head. For his part, Mr. Solo sighed and hung his head. “Because Poe’s a good friend and I needed one after I had some…issues…with my last job.”

Poe stared at the floor, a hint of a blush burning on his cheeks.

“Yes, he is,” Rey agreed softly, not teasing him about the blush.

Deathstar wandered over and wound herself between and around Ben’s legs until he picked her up, rubbing under her chin a moment before she decided that was more than enough affection, launched herself back to the floor and darted from the room. Silence fell, none of them sure what to say next. Fortunately, Finn broke the tension by announcing that the food was ready and demanding Poe set the table. Ben disappeared into the kitchen and Rey followed Poe, offering to help but really there wasn’t much to do.

Lunch (Dinner? What did one call a midafternoon meal?) started off in awkward silence, Finn staring with increasing annoyance at the other three people in the room as they stared down at their empty plates with only occasional glances up to see what everyone else was doing.

“OK, I have no idea what’s wrong with all of you but I’m eating while the food’s still hot. I have waited an entire year for apple and sausage stuffing so…yeah…”

Rey looked around the table. “This shouldn’t be awkward. My understanding is the whole reason we’re _here_ is the avoidance of awkwardness.” She stood up. “Where’s the liquor, Solo?”

“Huh?”

“Eloquent,” she said. “Liquid courage. Social Lubricant.” She shook her head as Poe snorted and Finn muttered “That sounds wrong” around a mouthful of what she thought might be mashed potatoes. And _that_ broke the remaining tension enough that the alcohol was not strictly necessary any longer, but that didn’t stop them from indulging a bit.

Dessert was an affair all its own. Rey was overwhelmed with the sheer number of pies, cakes, cookies, tarts, cheesecakes (one pumpkin and one plain, thank you very much) and what looked like a mouth-wateringly indulgent mousse. She looked at Ben with something like awe. “Did you do all this, too?”

“Uh, no. I don’t bake. That’s the one thing I can’t do in the kitchen. This was all Finn and that bakery close to your apartment.”

“Ah, well in that case,” she said, zeroing in on the pumpkin cheesecake and savoring the first bite with a moan.

“Rey, would you like us to leave you alone with the dessert table?” Poe teased.

“You can all bloody well stay and watch for all I care,” she said, bending over to better reach a platter of cookies on the far side of the counter. There was a clatter behind her, and she turned to find Poe and Finn grinning and Ben picking his fork up from the floor. He tossed it into the sink and left the room, a door closing somewhere down the hall with a firm thud. Rey shot a questioning glance to the men still at the table, shrugged, and turned back to the array of treats before her, trying to decide what else to add to the already precariously stacked desserts on her plate.

It was absolute torture, having her there in his home. Ben leaned against his bedroom door, trying desperately to control his ragged breathing, cursing under his breath when he realized his hands were actually trembling with the barely contained desire to toss Rey over his shoulder and haul her here, into his bedroom, Thanksgiving and their friends be damned.

But he couldn’t do that.

She might not even want that.

He stepped into his bathroom, splashing cold water over his face and hands.

He had known she’d be here with Finn and Poe. Hell, it had been his idea, suggested to Poe the day he finally realized…okay, finally _admitted_ to himself that he felt far more than a passing attraction to his assistant. Poe had urged him to just tell her and go from there, but _that_ was certainly not happening any time soon.

Maybe January.

The head of Poe’s department was retiring come the new year. Poe was next in line for that position, leaving Poe’s job open, and Rey was the absolute perfect candidate for that position.

_She was the perfect candidate for a lot of positions._

_NO._

He could wait for January, and then he could tell her _everything_. How he felt. His past. The things he was responsible for. How he knew being with him was probably too much for anyone to deal with. If she could accept all that—a big _if_ but Poe seemed to think so—then maybe…once she wasn’t working directly under him anymore…

_Under him. Directly under him._

_NO._

He had to get control. This was ridiculous. Ben focused on the most unappealing thoughts he could, splashed more cold water on his face, and eventually calmed his mind (but not his body, that wasn’t going to happen) enough to return to his guests.

Of course, the vision awaiting him was almost enough to send him running again. Rey had made her way through her chosen desserts and had apparently finished with the chocolate mousse. She must have enjoyed it, as he stepped back into the dining room to find her practically purring as she closed her eyes and delicately licked every last trace of chocolate off her spoon. He sat down hard, unable to look away, and silently thanking every deity that might possibly exist that Poe and Finn were in the kitchen at the moment, arguing over their own dessert selection.

Rey looked up to find Ben staring at her and found herself instantly flushing and looking away. He’d seen her eat before, knew she loved food, but she’d never gone to quite this extreme level of gluttony before. Likely he was properly horrified at her behavior. She cleared her throat. “Ah, sorry about that.”

“What for?”

Rey gestured weakly at her dessert plate. “I know I don’t exactly have proper manners…but then isn’t that what you’re supposed to do on Thanksgiving, overindulge?” She grabbed her water glass, needing something to focus on and suddenly parched.

She was saved from having to say anything else when Poe and Finn returned, playfully arguing over whether it was too juvenile to watch _A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving_ after they finished eating. Rey piped up that she thought it sounded fun, and Ben had said that settled things.

And that was how the four of them ended up on the L-shaped sectional in the living room, shoes off, feet on the coffee table, and watching a holiday themed cartoon special. Near the end Rey shivered and Ben dragged a soft, red throw off the back of the couch, wordlessly holding it out to her. She smiled her thanks and spread the blanket over her lap, yelping in surprise when Deathstar landed in her lap with a light thump and settled in, pushing her head against Rey’s hand.

“Ah, sorry, she seems to think that blanket belongs to her.”

“Oh, don’t be sorry,” Rey said, attention mostly on the purring creature in her lap as she experimented with different scratches and pets. “Aren’t you just precious,” she cooed at the cat, smiling delightedly when Deathstar rolled in her lap, presenting her belly for pets.

“Traitor,” Ben said.

“Careful Rey, that’s probably a trap,” Poe warned, cringing as Rey lowered her hand and then glaring at the cat when she didn’t instantly attack.

Rey grinned, stroking the silky fur one more time before the cat rolled over, glaring at Poe for a moment before curling into a circle and settling in for a nap. “Oh, you ignore them, you sweet little ball of fluffy murder,” she said to the cat. “They’re just jealous you like me better.”

“Yeah, right. You just wait until it’s feeding time. Then you’ll see who she likes best,” Ben said. Rey looked up to find him smiling at her, sprawled there in the corner of the couch with his feet on the coffee table and arms draped over the back of the sofa, one of them almost behind her shoulders. She ducked her head back down, pretending to focus on the cat in her lap and thankful she had left her hair loose. She was hoping it covered her blush as she fought down the urge to climb into his lap.

“So, what should we watch now?”

Poe and Finn began suggesting holiday themed and tangentially holiday related movies and Rey shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I usually watch horror movies on Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Finn made a face and Poe groaned, knowing what was coming.

“Oh, what’s your favorite?” Ben asked excitedly.

“How do you pick just one? Classic horror, I would have to go with _The Wolfman_ , or the Bela Lugosi _Dracula_. Anything Hammer Horror, especially with Christopher Lee, is always fun. The original _Halloween_ was amazing, and _Scream_ was revolutionary, but as for my favorite… _Cabin in the Woods_ , maybe?”

“Oh no,” Poe muttered from his spot as Ben lit up, giving Rey that smile, the full smile she had only seen a few times. As with the previous times she had seen him smile like that, Rey found herself momentarily stunned and unable to resist smiling in return.

Of course, they ended up watching that next, but not until after Finn and Poe were subjected to a 30 minute discussion of well known horror directors, television versus movie series, horror tropes and their subversion, the balance of humor and horror, and whether or not they appreciated a well done horror-comedy or parody (they both did).

Halfway through the movie Rey glanced over and found Finn and Poe had stretched out and gone to sleep. She shook her head and turned her attention back to the screen. She stretched a bit, and the movement disturbed the cat enough that she hopped down and stalked off, tail swishing dramatically as she paused at the edge of the coffee table to loudly meow her displeasure at being disturbed. “Oh, don’t yell at us, you furry little traitor,” Ben muttered, getting another plaintive meow in response before Deathstar darted away, presumably to hide in another room.

By the end of the movie, Poe was snoring lightly, arm thrown over Finn. “Pretty sure you’re not leaving any time soon if you have to wait on those two for a ride.”

Rey smiled, soft affection filling her eyes as she looked at her friends cuddled together. “No, it appears not.” She turned back to her boss—to _Ben_ —and grinned. “So, leftovers and another film?”

“Good God, woman, how can you possibly still want to eat?”

Rey stood and stretched her arms over her head before bouncing off to the kitchen. “Haven’t you met me? I’m insatiable,” she chirped at him, not noticing his groan as she entered the kitchen and began digging through the refrigerator.

Ben glanced at the time and joined her in the kitchen, retrieving a stack of carefully wrapped plates and some bakery boxes. “Be right back, I’m just going to run these downstairs.”

“What’s all that?”

“Oh, just…for the staff that had to work the holiday—security, doorman, custodial, their breaks start soon.”

And at that Ben was the one receiving the affectionate smile and he rushed to get out the door and to the elevator before he embarrassed himself.

He came back to find Rey seated on the couch with an absolutely obscene looking sandwich made of Thanksgiving leftovers and accompanied by a slice of pumpkin pie absolutely drowning in whipped cream. “Hm, that looks pretty good.”

She grinned at him, jerking her chin toward the coffee table where another plate sat waiting beside a cold bottle of water. “Made you one, too.”

“Thanks. So, have you ever seen _Tucker and Dale versus Evil_?”

“No…what’s that?”

He just smirked and reached for the remote. “I think you’ll like it.”

Like it she did. It was almost unbelievable that Poe and Finn didn’t wake up to the peals of laughter, comments yelled at the screen, and near shrieks of delight as the movie progressed through increasingly ridiculous (and gory) scenarios.

Ben found himself quite proud as the movie ended and she turned to him fairly glowing. “That was amazing! I don’t recall the last time I laughed like that.” She glanced over at Finn and Poe again before looking back at Ben. “Are you sure you didn’t drug them?” she teased.

He shrugged. “I mean, if I had you’d be passed out too.”

“True.”

“Eh, I’m pretty sure none of us have slept much lately. They probably need the rest. It’s not like any of us need to be anywhere.”

Rey shrugged. He had a point. She stood up and gathered their plates and his empty water bottle, tossing it into the recycling bin and rinsing the plates before stacking them into the sink. She glanced at the dishwasher, noting the light was on indicating the cycle was complete from when Poe had started it earlier. She had helped him with the dishes, both insisting that since Finn and Ben had cooked, they should clean up. She put away what she could of the clean dishes, arranging the rest neatly on a clean towel, and reloaded the machine, just able to fit the remaining dishes in with a little creative rearranging. She was pleasantly surprised Mr. Solo—BEN—hadn’t protested her clean up efforts, but that was explained when she returned to find that he too had fallen asleep.

Rey smiled and helped herself to one of his books from the nearby shelf before settling back into her spot on the couch, curling her legs under her and snuggling into the red blanket again as she read. She didn’t mean to fall asleep as well but, as Ben had noted, the long hours, lack of sleep, and absolutely obscene amount of food she had eaten all worked against Rey as well and she didn’t make it an entire chapter before she drifted off.

Ben woke from a particularly vivid dream in which Rey had been happily cuddled against him to find himself stretched on his couch with a curious weight pressing him down. He blinked a few times and gingerly tried moving, only to be met with a grumble of protest from Rey. In the dim light, he could just see her stretched on top of him, Deathstar purring from a perch on Rey’s back. Well, this was certainly interesting. He couldn’t quite figure out how it had happened…he realized he’d fallen asleep almost as soon as she left the room with their plates, but he’d been sitting up, he was sure, and Rey hadn’t even been in the room.

A sound drew his attention and he realized Poe was awake and standing over him, holding something. The cat stood on Rey’s back and stretched, drawing another sound of protest from Rey and a shifting as she tried to get comfortable again when the cat jumped down. Poe tossed the thing he had been holding over them—blanket, it was a blanket, and Ben looked at him in confusion as Poe held a finger up to his lips. “Do us all a favor and go back to sleep, Solo. I’m pretty sure this is the most rest Rey has gotten in weeks,” he whispered, before returning to the other end of the sofa and Finn, covering them both with another spare blanket.

Too tired to fight it, he closed his eyes and (for once) did as Poe suggested without argument.

He could feel guilty about it tomorrow.

The second time he woke it was to the smell of coffee, bright sunlight streaming through the windows, and Rey still asleep against him. At some point he must have turned, because they were on their sides, facing one another, with her nestled between his chest and the back of the couch. He took a moment to stare down at her, not quite ready to let her go. When her eyes fluttered open, she looked up at him with a confused, sleepy smile. “Ben?”

“Morning.”

He could see the moment she came fully awake, feel the tension in her immediately, and he wasn’t sure if it would be better to move away immediately or stay frozen in place. He knew which he _wanted_ , just not what would be better.

“What time is it?”

He thought about it, realized he still had his watch on, and shifted until he could see it. “8:13, apparently.”

He forced himself to move away, releasing her from his arms and disentangling their legs so he could sit up.

Rey sat up and ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t recall the last time I slept so much, or so well.” She looked at him and he saw the blush creeping up her face as she turned her face away again. Finn came into the room, a steaming coffee mug in each hand, and handed one to each of them.

“I was hoping you two would finally be awake,” he said. “Poe owes me 20 bucks. I told him you would both be awake before 9.”

Rey sipped her coffee, frowning at the bitter bite of it. It was a little stronger than she usually drank it but, considering the cobwebs still in her brain that might not be a bad thing.

“I saw that,” Finn said. “Too strong?”

“Tiny bit,” Rey muttered. “Poe made it didn’t he?” Finn nodded and Rey grinned up at him. “He’s getting better. It’s at least drinkable this time.”

“Barely,” Ben grumbled after sipping from his own cup.

“I heard that!” Poe called from the kitchen. “And if you keep up the complaints, I’m not sharing any bacon.”

“Thanks for the coffee, Poe!” Ben called, wincing as he took another sip.

“Probably a good day to break your ‘first cup has to be black’ rule,” Rey stage-whispered before standing up and wandering towards the guest bathroom.

She came back to find the living room empty and followed the sounds and smells of breakfast into the kitchen. Finn stood in front of the stove, 3 large skillets sizzling away. Poe was in front of the toaster oven, staring at the slowly browning bread inside.

Ben entered the room with fresh clothes and damp hair just as Poe started cursing and nearly burned his hand trying to get the toast out of the toaster before it went from “a little more brown than he wanted” to “charcoal.”

“Get out of my kitchen before you start a fire again, Dameron,” Ben ordered, pointed in the general direction of the dining room.

“Again?” Rey queried, not having heard any stories about Poe starting fires here. A melted toaster and several crispy dish towels at home, sure, but not at Ben’s apartment.

Poe mumbled something about birthday candles, a noisemaker, and someone’s hair, and a very confusing bit about macaroni and cheese, but wouldn’t tell her anything else. Finn walked over and kissed Poe’s cheek, placing a plate in front of him. “It’s OK, babe, I love you even though you’re a disaster in the kitchen.” Finn went back to the kitchen and returned with a plate for Rey and another for himself, Ben following with a pitcher of juice and his own food.

Rey was in the process of using her toast to mop up egg yolks when Poe looked up with an evil grin. “So, who’s going to tell HR?”

Rey squeaked and Ben coughed as he choked on his bacon.

“What, were we not going to acknowledge the elephant in the room?” Knowing Poe, Rey braced herself for whatever he was going to say next. “Who’s going to tell Amilyn that the four of us slept together last night?” Finn smacked Poe’s arm as Rey launched her napkin at his face.

Ben was still too busy coughing and trying to remember how to breathe to react.

Rey was the first to break, a fit of giggles fighting their way out of her as she imagined the look on the HR head’s face if Poe actually did tell her that. That made Finn start laughing as Poe grinned proudly. Ben pushed back from the table, shaking his head and muttering “You’re fired, Dameron,” as he went back into the kitchen for some water.

“No, I’m not, I’m vital and you looooooove me,” Poe called out after him.

Rey reached over and grabbed the last strip of bacon off Poe’s plate, breaking it in half and munching happily as Poe complained and Finn just laughed at their antics. When Ben returned Rey handed him the rest of the bacon and he made a great show of devouring the morsel while Poe crossed his arms, pouting.

Finn hung his head. “I am surrounded by children.”


	8. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The SOS Holiday Party has arrived, bringing dancing, copious amounts of free alcohol, and a sprig of mistletoe.
> 
> _Taking mercy on her, Ms. Holdo filled the silence, “See me after the holidays, Rey, you’ve been recommended by multiple members of the Executive Board, and Poe requested you himself, so it’s really more of a formality at this point.”_
> 
> _“I, okay, yes. I’ll see you after the holidays.” She thought her face might split from the grin that had overtaken her lips, and the four faces in front of her returned the smile. She took a few steps away before turning around again and darting back over. “Ms. Holdo, what are the rules regarding mistletoe and holiday parties?”_
> 
> _“Ah, I don’t think there are any, really. You’re not on the clock, and you’re not on company property. I think only the rules of mistletoe apply.”_
> 
> _“Brilliant!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to fix the tense shift issue in the last scene and it's better if not fully resolved. This chapter re-uploaded with that fix and other minor edits on 12/11/2020. 
> 
> The Friday Shirt playlist can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA), in almost its entirety (2 tracks are unavailable on Spotify).  
> This specific chapter does have 3 song recs that were instrumental in shaping the entire story as I originally envisioned it. I will note those at the end.
> 
> ***The alternative, smutty one shot that this ALMOST was has been added to Upside Down, Inside Out.***

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas passed in a bit of a blur.

In a way, things had changed at the office, a new awareness between Ben—Mr. Solo, she couldn’t afford to think of him as Ben, she had to stay professional—and Rey. They had briefly talked _around_ Thanksgiving Day (and more importantly, night) and Rey told herself she was content to leave it at that. She didn’t want to make more of it than it had been. She was just glad they weren’t being awkward about it.

Mostly.

Well, except for when Poe would drop playful comments around either of them, usually leading to a lot of blushing and throat clearing or dropped papers and abrupt departures.

Mr. Solo was out of town the second week of December, and Rey found herself with little to do other than answer his emails and text messages, or have lunch with Poe, Finn, and Snap Wexley.

Most of the company seemed preoccupied with the upcoming party. By the time Mr. Solo returned, Rey was beginning to wonder if he was the only person still working.

Based on what she had been told, particularly by Poe, the company holiday party at least promised to be a fun night. It had been scheduled for the Friday before Christmas, and most departments were closed or running with minimal staff from the following Monday until after the New Year.

At Finn’s suggestion Rey brought Rose along as her plus one, a little unsure why she hadn’t thought of that herself. Of course, they _had_ all been working ridiculous hours up through November so maybe she could blame the requisite sleep deprivation. It certainly couldn’t be the unusual level of distraction Rey had experienced since Thanksgiving.

Because she wasn’t distracted.

Really, she wasn’t.

And if she was it surely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she had slept an entire night in Ben Solo’s arms, and it may have been the most restful sleep of her life.

Regardless, the project they’d toiled over for so many hours was out of their hands for now, and this was the chance to let loose and celebrate.

Like most other SOS events, the venue was one of the ballrooms across the street at the Falcon, though this was certainly the largest of the event spaces they had used in her brief time at the company. Rey looked around in appreciative wonder and she descended the stairs leading to the space. Even in her red party dress (currently covered by her coat) and metallic strappy heels, she couldn’t help feeling a bit out of place. Less than a year ago she would have been afraid of even stepping into the hotel, and now here she was, again. She was broken out of her thoughts as Rose clutched her arm and squealed her excitement. Poe and Finn were right behind them with Snap Wexley.

“Let’s move, ladies,” Poe called out from a few steps behind them, “I require alcohol, copious amounts of alcohol, mass quantities even.”

Rey smirked over her shoulder, “Oh, nice, using all your big words now before you get too drunk to have the ability later?”

“You bet your ass!” he said, swatting at her backside and chuckling at her yelp and playful claim she’d go to HR as he continued down the stairs past her.

“Wait, isn’t Poe our designated driver?” Rose questioned before calling after him, “Poe, aren’t you driving tonight?”

He turned with a grin before forcing his expression into one of mock-offense, “Shush, not so loud, you’ll ruin my reputation as a party god. If the masses think I’m not drinking they’ll never be able to let go and have fun.” Rose laughed at him and hurried to loop her arm through his on the opposite side from Finn and Rey followed her, shaking her head and grinning. She would never regret introducing her roommate to her work friends, nor the resulting family bond that had formed. Those dorks were some of the best people she knew. They checked their coats at the little window outside the doors and headed in, finding they were some of the first to arrive.

Poe ushered their little group of five to the comp bar on the side of the room and managed to order—accurately—for each of them, before requesting a ginger ale for himself. Rey sipped on her Scotch, smiling at the light-hearted banter between her friends—her family—and trying to pretend she didn’t notice how obviously Snap was staring at Rose.

By the time they finished the first round of drinks the room was filling up and the enthusiastic DJ was several songs into what seemed to be quite the _eclectic_ playlist. She dug her phone out of the little clutch handbag that matched her dress and noted they still had about 30 minutes before the “Opening Remarks” which the program indicated would come before dinner and award presentations. Then there would be a dessert buffet followed by “door prizes” and dancing. Despite Poe’s insistence they should arrive _fashionably late_ , she was exceedingly grateful they had arrived early enough to snag a corner table near the doors to an outside patio with clusters of heat lamps set up. She could use some air, but first maybe another drink.

Outside, she found the large heaters were a little too much and retreated to a dark corner of the patio area with her refilled Scotch. Despite the December chill, she was far more comfortable here in the night air than trapped in what felt like the absolute crush of bodies in the ballroom. Logically, she knew it wasn’t that bad, but the noise of all the voices and the far-too-loud music coupled with the heat and energy of so many people was more than a little overwhelming, particularly when she was still mostly sober. She leaned back against the wall of the building, studying her drink and trying to convince herself that yes, she really did want to be here, and no she wasn’t disappointed that her boss hadn’t yet made an appearance.

As if merely thinking about him had summoned his presence, the door she had slipped out of a few minutes prior opened and none other than Ben Solo walked through with a tumbler of what she suspected was his own Scotch. He hadn’t noticed her yet, and she took a moment to enjoy the view. She’d expected the tuxedo, she’d even seen him wear it before, but somehow that didn’t matter, she hadn’t been prepared, and her breath caught. She saw him walk forward a few steps, heading for one of the tables set up under the lamps before making a face at the heat and turning, walking in her direction. She froze for a moment before knocking her drink back and giving a small wave once he was close enough to see her there in the shadows.

“Jackson.”

“Evening, Mr. Solo.”

“Party’s inside, you know.”

“Yep,” she said, licking her lips and trying not to shiver as the breeze kicked up. “Just needed some air.”

“Already?” She nodded, making a little humming sound of assent as the alcohol began to hit her bloodstream, warming her a bit.

He shrugged, before raising his glass to his lips and she trembled as she stared at his mouth. Over the past weeks this had gotten to be a problem, the fascination she had with his mouth. She shook her head, praying he hadn’t noticed her staring at him. “Well, I suppose I should go back in before someone comes looking for me. I’d hate to ruin the night for Poe-the-party-animal Dameron.” He made a noise that might have been a laugh.

“Poe your DD tonight?”

“Of course.”

He nodded, “That’s good, then.” His eyes caught hers as he took another sip of his drink, staring at her over the glass. She felt herself flush and hoped that, if he did notice, he would attribute it to the alcohol.

“Well,” she swallowed nervously as she forced herself to look away from him, “I suppose I should go find some water,” she muttered, holding up her glass as explanation for her inane comment. Then, grabbed by an impulse she couldn’t fight, “Save me a dance later, yeah?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.” He lost the battle to hold back a grin.

She stumbled just a little as she struggled to open the door, possibly a bit more affected by the alcohol and lack of proper food during the day than she had realized (because it absolutely was NOT the sinful tone of his voice that was playing havoc with her balance) and she heard a sound that might have been a chuckle as she won the battle with steel and tempered glass, only to be assaulted by a wall of sound as she re-entered the building.

Rey chose to stick with water through the course of Leia Organa-Solo’s opening welcome speech and dinner, and the hydration together with the absolutely decadent food had her back to a level of happy contentment by the time the anniversary pins were given in recognition of some of the company’s most loyal employees, some of whom had been there for nearly 3 decades. Ms. Holdo from HR and Han Solo handled that part of the awards presentation, and then Leia took to the podium again, her words filtering into Rey’s brain more as a pleasant buzz of sound than actual patterns of speech, with only the occasional phrases “always smiling,” and “saved the project” filtering into her fuzzy brain, which is why the cheers from her table and the urging of her friends to stand came as a bit of a shock. She blinked around the room, confused by the applause and smiles directed her way until Leia spoke again, “Oh, don’t be embarrassed, Rey, come up here and accept your award, you’ve earned it.” The wall of sound was back, and she blinked, the roaring in her head out of control and making her stumble a bit as she rose from her chair. Even seconds later, she couldn’t really remember the walk to the front of the room, and if Han Solo hadn’t reached out to offer a steadying hand as she climbed the three stairs to the stage she was fairly certain the entire company would have seen her fall on her arse. 

Ms. Holdo smiled and held out a small wooden plaque and a thick, cream-colored envelope, and Leia offered a handshake followed by a warm hug. Han Solo was next, and a couple of people she recognized as board members, all offering firm but friendly handshakes and words of congratulations and thanks. And then she was in front of her boss, a small smile on his face as he too, shook her hand before placing a hand on the small of her back to escort her back down from the stage.

She could have killed Poe when, before she had taken a single step, she heard him yell “Speech,” from their back-corner table, and apparently the look on her face said so as the room was filled with laughter.

Ben laughed and leaned around her to the microphone, “I don’t think Ms. Jackson will mind if we skip that in favor of getting on with the rest of the party,” he said, “but before we do, Dameron, why don’t you and the rest of your project team stand up and come join us.” As the others grumbled good-naturedly and made their way to the front of the room he spoke again, “All right, folks, let’s hear some applause. This team may well be responsible for saving your Christmas bonus this year.” There were cheers and chuckles and another smattering of applause and then Leia made some more remarks about dessert and having fun the rest of the night but Rey couldn’t hear any of it, her every sense trained on Ben Solo, her boss, the man currently towering over her and once more steadying her with a hand on her back, the man who had just single handedly saved her from a panic attack on stage which could have potentially ended in vomit on someone’s (probably his mother’s) very expensive designer shoes.

He still had one hand on her back, and she knew he could feel the tremors running through her. Dimly she realized he was speaking softly to someone—Poe, maybe—and then he deftly maneuvered them to the side door and outside into the cool air and blessed quiet.

He led her to the corner where they’d stood earlier. “You okay for a minute? I’m gonna grab you a chair.” She nodded weakly and watched with a strange detachment as he did exactly that, grabbing one of the tall chairs set up in clusters around the high tables and heat lamps and dragging it to their corner. It was high enough he had to help her climb into the seat. “Jackson.” She tried to look at him, tried to respond, really, she did, but she couldn’t get any words out and why was it getting darker?

Rey felt his hands on her shoulders, heard his voice speaking softly, but she was lost in the grip of the adrenaline now, and it was all she could do to stay conscious.

“Hey, Rey, come on, look at me, you’re going to pass out. I need you to breathe, okay?” Somehow, she managed to fight her way back out of the haze and take a deep breath, looking him in the eye and licking her lips with a nod. She could do this. She _would_ do this. She stared back into his eyes and tried to focus on just calming her breathing. He didn’t let go of her shoulders, but he did keep the grip loose, and some part of her was aware it was so she could easily break free if she needed, if she started feeling trapped again. She didn’t. It seemed Ben Solo was one of the few people who made her feel safe, a calming presence when her own body chemistry betrayed her like this. “Better?”

“Ye—yes. A bit.”

“You’re not shaking so much. Still dizzy?”

Rey thought about it and shook her head. “Not really, no.”

“I am sorry about that. I told her not to put you on the spot like that, I thought she had listened.” It occurred to Rey that he was angry on her behalf, and at the moment even his anger was a calming comfort.

She heard the roar of sound from inside and looked up, finding Poe had come outside, carrying a glass of water and a handful of napkins. Finn hovered right behind him, his worry evident. “Jesus, Rey, I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

Ben stepped back, and Poe pulled her into his arms for just a moment before thrusting the water glass at her. She took it and gulped the contents down.

“It’s okay, Poe, you didn’t mean anything by it and I’m fine. A little tired but more relaxed than I have been in days, now that the adrenaline rush is over.” The sounds from inside increased again and they looked over to find Ben had gone back inside.

“Do you want me to take you home, now? I can come back later for the others.”

“NO! No, that’s not necessary. I really will be fine now.” She clambered down from the chair. “Come on Dameron, both you AND your fiancé owe me a dance.”

Finn reached out and pulled her into his arms, stage-whispering, “I told this idiot not to mess with you tonight,” as he did so. She giggled and he kissed her forehead while Poe pretended to be mortally offended. “Come on, Peanut. Let’s dance.”

Poe grabbed her other hand and she was smiling again as she let the couple lead her back inside, the two men bickering over who got the first dance and whether they should just all three grind away on the dance floor until Holdo threatened to write them up (that was Finn’s expectation) or gave up and joined them (Poe, of course that was Poe).

After nearly an hour of dancing (and possibly a couple more rounds of drinks but as Poe pointed out, ‘it’s a party with an open bar, it’s expected’), mostly in a large cluster with Rose, Finn, Poe, and Snap Wexley, Rey excused herself to the loo. Whoever had designed the layout of the building had neglected to include toilets on the ballroom level so she found herself climbing the massive staircase (seriously, had there been this many steps before, and why hadn’t she taken the elevator) back to the grand entrance foyer that led to the smaller meeting and event spaces a floor above. Despite the misery of the stairs it was blessedly cooler and far quieter than the lower level, although voices and the heavy thump of the music did carry enough that she felt the bass vibrating up through the floor. She lingered after washing her hands, splashing some cool water on her face and trying to decide if it would be worth the effort to touch up her make up. She settled for attempting to blot at the dark circles where her eyeliner and mascara had started to run and, after a moment in which she _absolutely did not_ consider the fact that Ben Solo was still present and had MAYBE saved her a dance, she reapplied the bright red, berry flavored lip gloss she had started out the evening with.

As she neared the bottom of the staircase she was, in fact, quite grateful for her decision. Near the bottom of the stairs, Ben Solo stood with his parents and Ms. Holdo. They all looked up and smiled, Han Solo calling out a quick, “Hey, kid,” and she idly noticed the four of them seemed to be standing under a cluster of mistletoe.

“Hello, again! Lovely party,” she found herself saying.

“I’m glad you think so,” Ms. Holdo said with a genuine smile.

Leia reached out and took both of Rey’s hands in her own. “Rey, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable earlier. I just wanted to recognize your hard work and your contributions these last few months. You really did save the project.” Rey found herself blushing but before she could open her mouth to dispute anything the CEO said or diminish her own role in things the older woman continued, “You know, the head of project engineering is retiring next month, and Poe Dameron will be promoted to that position, leaving us short a project managing engineer. You should apply.”

Rey’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Taking mercy on her, Ms. Holdo filled the silence, “See me after the holidays, Rey, you’ve been recommended by multiple members of the Executive Board, and Poe requested you himself, so it’s really more of a formality at this point.”

“I, okay, yes. I’ll see you after the holidays.” She thought her face might split from the grin that had overtaken her lips, and the four faces in front of her returned the smile. She took a few steps away before turning around again and darting back over. “Ms. Holdo, what are the rules regarding mistletoe and holiday parties?”

“Ah, I don’t think there are any, really. You’re not on the clock, and you’re not on company property. I think only the rules of mistletoe apply.”

“Brilliant!” Rey exclaimed before darting forward and placing a smacking kiss on Leia’s cheek before pointing up at the cluster of mistletoe above them.

“Hey, now, if anything that’s over my head, not hers,” Han said, pretending offense.

“Not my fault the rest of you are too tall,” Rey countered, cutting her eyes over to her boss before adding, “some of you ridiculously so. She’s the only one I could reach.” There was a sparkle in her eyes as she continued, holding out a hand, “would you care to dance, Mr. Solo?”

And that was how Rey ended up dragging Han Solo onto the dance floor for the first time in years, much to the bemusement of his wife and son.

“I like her,” Leia said, watching her husband laugh as he was dragged away.

She didn’t seem to notice Ben’s “Me too,” although Amilyn gave him a look. “Well, ladies,” he began, “as Ms. Jackson so kindly demonstrated, it’s a party and there is still dancing to be done.” He held out a hand to his mother, but she shook him off.

“I’ll join you in a moment. I want to speak to Amilyn about something else. Maybe you should rescue Rey from getting her toes trampled by your father. I swear that man doesn’t know his right from his left.”

Ben shrugged and headed back into the ballroom.

When Ben Solo entered the ballroom again and saw what was happening on the dance floor, it was like every nightmare he’d ever had come to life. Rey had dragged his father over to Finn and Poe and the girl he was pretty sure was her roommate, Rose, and the four of them were attempting to teach Han some sort of dance requiring a roll of the hips and DEAR GOD if he NEVER saw that again it would still be too soon. Rey was laughing, genuinely enjoying herself and his father was clearly showing off for his audience. Then Finn and Poe broke off, apparently demonstrating, and were very shortly grinding together in a completely-inappropriate-anywhere-outside-the-bedroom variation of what _might_ be a Salsa. Rey just shook her head at them before turning back to his father and holding out her hand with a smile before the two of them began moving in a much more appropriate and decent box step which did not at all match up to the beat of the music.

Rose wandered over to the refreshment table, chatting with Wexley by the punch bowl, and Ben wondered idly how many people had spiked it _this_ year. Despite the open bar, spiking the punch had become a time-honored SOS tradition (started, so rumor claimed, by his father, although he was pretty sure it had actually been his mother’s idea).

He moved across the floor, intent on politely cutting in and ruthlessly refusing to acknowledge the possessive part of him that wanted to growl “mine” and haul Rey over his shoulder then carry her out of this building.

Before he could even get close enough to speak, Han saw him coming over Rey’s shoulder and somehow managed to spin Rey right into his son’s arms. “Take over, would you son, I owe your mother a dance.” And then he was gone, and Rey was smiling up at him, radiating happiness and warmth.

“Apparently he’s been taking lessons,” Rey said.

“Huh?”

“Your father. He’s been taking dancing lessons to surprise your mother. He says they must have taken because he only stepped on my toes twice.”

“That’s…actually that’s not bad at all, for him.” Rey sighed and swayed a bit as the two of them stood in the middle of the dance floor. “Well, as long as we’re here, Ms. Jackson, would you do me the honor of this dance?”

She laughed, as he had hoped she would, and nodded her assent. The music changed to something slow and smooth and he recognized it as a cover version of his parents’ song, the one his mother hummed when they were getting along extremely well, and his father had set to his phone ringtone for when she called. He looked up and sure enough his parents were on the other side of the floor, and his father seemed to be managing to avoid stepping on her feet while she stared up at him with a smile that made Ben a little uncomfortable to see. He turned his attention back to his own dance partner and as they began to move, he forgot his parents were in the room—or anyone else for that matter.

Ben Solo was an excellent dancer. Rey wasn’t certain what she had expected but she couldn’t in her wildest dreams have imagined this. She’d thought maybe it would be awkward, or maybe _he_ or _she_ would be awkward, but he exuded the kind of confidence she’d seen on him in the board room as he led her expertly around the floor. She’d never really _danced_ before, not like this and it made her a little nervous. She could move her body to the beat of the music, but this was something more. “I’ve got you,” he said softly, leading her into a turn. “Just trust me and let go.” So, she did.

She found herself attuned to him in a way she hadn’t been before, as the slightest change in pressure of his hand on her hip, or his fingers clasped around hers, guided her movements around the floor. A quirk of his lips was the only warning before he spun her away from him though, in a move similar to what his father had done moments ago, only Ben didn’t let her go, spinning her back into his arms before bending to dip her low, grinning at her delighted laughter. That hadn’t actually matched up to the music either, but the grin on her face and the way she relaxed just that much more in his arms made it worth it.

It was Poe’s voice that broke the spell between them. “Oh, me next, me next!” Rey laughed again as Ben rolled his eyes then let her go, grabbing Poe and leading him in a tight circle before spinning him back into Finn’s arms as the music changed again, the DJ going back to a series of club mixes and other high energy tracks to close out the last hour of the night.

Rey saw Ben duck out the door and she tried to convince herself not to be hurt he hadn’t said good night. Then Finn was tugging her back into the middle of their little group as they danced through to the last note of the final song.

By the end of the party, Rose was nearly falling over, though it was probably as much exhaustion as liquor, and Finn had an arm around her waist and the other around Rey’s as Poe led the way back across the street to the SOS employee parking deck. Snap followed them, muttering to himself in a voice too low for anyone to hear.

“Okay, everyone in the car, we’ll drop Wexley off first,” Poe said. “Do you have your keys, wallets, cell phones, and shoes? I do not want a repeat of last year.” Rey had heard that story, how Snap had lost his keys and wallet at the party venue and Poe had ended up having to break into the other man’s apartment to get him home, which hadn’t gone over well with Security, particularly as Snap had been a fairly new resident and hadn’t had his ID to prove he lived there. When Poe had tried to call Finn, he realized his cell phone was in the office. She wasn’t sure about the shoes part, but she suspected it was because she and Rose had slipped off their heels several times throughout the night and at one point Rose had been certain hers had ended up in the trash (they hadn’t).

“Phone and wallet, yes,” Rey said. “No keys, I forgot mine in the desk drawer when I left to get ready this evening, but we can just use Rose’s and I will swing by and get them tomorrow.”

“No can do, babe!” Rose giggled. “Mine are at home, in the kitchen. Remember, we realized we were locked out because that stupid lock popped into place when we left, and you said it was a good thing your keys were at work.”

“Fuck! Yes, that’s right, I forgot. Um, I have my elevator keycard and employee ID in my mobile case, I’ll just go up and get my keys.”

Snap was groaning by the car, and Rose just barely managed to jump back before he was sick on the pavement. “Maybe you should take him home while I go up,” Rey said. “You already said you have to double back past here again anyway. That way you don’t have to wait for me.”

“And if he pukes in the car you won’t be there?” Poe added.

“Right in one.”

Considering the size of the car it really was the best option. Rey smirked as Finn grumbled and climbed into the back seat with Rose, and Poe helped Wexley into the passenger seat.

Poe started the car but waited until she had scanned her employee ID and was safely in the elevator, doors closed, before backing out of his assigned space.

Rey stepped out of the lift from employee parking extremely grateful for her express access. She hadn’t had to stop and sign in with security and she was guaranteed no other stops until the 14th floor, not that she thought there would be at this hour unless the cleaning crew happened to be changing floors. Thinking of the cleaning crew she cringed a bit, remembering the mess in the parking deck, and wondering if they should try to find a hose when Poe got back to pick her up.

The bell sounded and she blinked blearily before stepping out into the hush of the 14th floor reception area. The lights were low, most of the harsh fluorescents turned off for the night and only the recessed emergency lighting on in the main area. She made her way around the corner and down the short hallway, pausing in relief when she realized the door was unlocked and partially open. Thankfully she hadn’t come up here for nothing, considering her office key was also in the desk drawer on the same keychain as the one to her apartment. She shook her head. Maybe she was a little more intoxicated than she had thought, to have not realized _that_ glaring flaw in her plan. Rey pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped in, planning to grab her keys and go. If Mr. Solo— _Ben_ , her traitorous hormones insisted—had come back up here so late there must be a reason and she shouldn’t disturb him, no matter how much she might want to.

A wave of dizziness made her stumble a bit and she paused at the small table where she’d eaten so many working lunches with him these past few months, using the tabletop to steady herself. Water. She should drink some water. She grabbed one of the room temperature bottles off the counter, guzzling half of it before she had time to think that through too carefully and then having to focus on her breathing to keep the liquid down. She’d DEFINITELY had too much to drink tonight. She took a breath and went to the desk, retrieving her keys from the drawer and tucking them into the pocket of her coat, swaying on her feet a moment. There. Objective complete, she could go now.

Except she couldn’t. There was a sound from the inner office, and it drew her forward to the open doorway. After all, his door was open, so it must be okay, right? She paused in the doorway, drinking in the sight of Ben Solo, glass in his hand as he stared out the window at the lights below him. He’d taken off his jacket and tie and rolled up his sleeves and although she’d seen him like this often, it was _different_ this time, somehow. Maybe because he wasn’t working, or because she knew she wasn’t really supposed to be here, not right now. She must have made some small sound because he turned to the door and offered her a small smile.

“Leave your keys in the desk again?”

  
She could feel herself blushing as she nodded. “And Rose locked hers in our apartment.” He’d turned and was leaning back against the window, watching her from under his lashes as she took a tentative step into his office. And another. And again. Until she was standing beside him, half-turned to stare out the window. His office was on the opposite side of the building from the main entrance, so the window looked out over a parking lot and small park, with the lights from the rest of the city twinkling in the distance. The building wasn’t the tallest in the city, but it was the tallest in the immediate area thanks to an old zoning restriction, so the view was mostly unobstructed. The only place it was better was the roof. “It really is a gorgeous view,” she breathed.

“Yes, it is,” he said softly, but when she turned, he wasn’t looking out the window and her breath caught.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or the city lights, or just the exhaustion of having to pretend all the time that her feelings for him were only friendly, that they were completely appropriate in a boss-and-subordinate way. Whatever it was, she gave in to the impulse to step closer and place a hand on his shoulder, tugging him down just slightly as she rose on tiptoe and pressed a chaste but firm kiss on his lips, the one she had wanted to give him there under the mistletoe, when she had kissed his mother instead. “Happy Christmas, Mr. Solo,” she breathed before lowering herself back on her heels and stepping back—or trying to at least.

She was going to leave, she really was, but then he caught her by the elbow—gently, oh so gently—and tugged her in close again, his other arm coming around her waist as he made a desperate sound in the back of his throat and leaned in and _oh_! This kiss was neither innocent nor chaste, and it was absolutely not work appropriate, and it was everything she wanted. Somewhere in the middle of the kiss, the hand on her elbow moved up into her hair, tightening just enough and she whined as he tilted her head, angling her mouth under his before his tongue swiped across her lower lip, begging entrance.

Rey’s hands fisted in his shirt, and when her legs refused to hold her anymore the arm around her waist tightened, keeping her upright as he walked her back the three or so steps to the edge of his desk, balancing her there without ever breaking the kiss, that sinful pressing of lips, the dancing of tongues. He tasted like very nice scotch and a hint of mint and something that was distinctly Ben Solo and this, Rey decided, was now her absolute favorite flavor profile.

Dimly she felt his hands move, felt her coat fall onto the desk behind her as his fingers traced the spaghetti straps of her dress. When his mouth moved off hers, tracing her jaw and down her neck, she tilted her head back and couldn’t contain the moan that slipped out. His tongue tracing the line of her throat brought a yelp and an “Oh, God, do that again,” and he _did_ and suddenly Rey couldn’t stop squirming on the desk. One of her hands had found it’s way into his hair (when had that happened) and the other was running over his chest and shoulder, tracing the firm muscles there before dipping inside his shirt, seeking skin only to be thwarted by the cotton of an undershirt and she growled at the offending item.

That was enough to make him pause, a small laugh escaping as he stood up, or tried to at least. She wouldn’t let him get that far, using her hold on his hair to pull him back to her and this time the kiss was slower, softer somehow, at least until one of his hands came to rest on her hip, fingers splayed across her lower back and thumb stroking little circles on the ridge of her hipbone before shifting, hand tracing over her thigh and brushing under her skirt, stroking over her knee in time with his tongue over hers, then sliding up, finding the lacy top of her stocking and the line of bare skin between the silky fabric and garter belt and he groaned her name.

He wasn’t kissing her anymore (WHY wasn’t he kissing her) but that blasted thumb was the center of her universe as it stroked over her skin, closer and closer to where she so desperately needed his touch. She couldn’t help herself, couldn’t hold still, so she let herself roll her hips, move her leg just so, opening her thighs farther in invitation—no, in supplication.

“Ben. Ben _Ben BEN_ please, please, BEN!” His name came like a fervent prayer from her lips.

“Rey, it’s OK, I know. I have you, and it’s OK, I feel it too.” He wouldn’t ever be sure if he actually said the words, but it didn’t really matter. She was beautiful like this, and he had never in his life wanted anything so much as to see her fly apart under him.

He knew he should send her home, should bundle her back up in that coat, cover the dress that had been making him crazy all night, and send her out, lock the door behind her but he was too selfish. The thought occurred to him that if this was the only moment he could have, he was going to take it, consequences be damned.

“Ben, please, please, I need…” and she trailed off because she wasn’t even sure what she needed other than HIM and his thumb brushed over her, _right there_ and it was good, so good, but she NEEDED more.

Ben couldn’t breathe, couldn’t _think_ , and he presses his forehead against hers, panting, grasping for some semblance of control. It wouldn’t take much, two, maybe three brushes of his thumb, and he could do it: take her mouth in another searing kiss as he pressed his thumb down, rolled it over her clit through the lacy almost-fabric of her panties until she was flying apart, coming undone beautifully in his arms and he could let himself hold her, dropping kisses on her face and neck, murmuring soothing nonsense in her ear as she came back down to earth.

He couldn’t take this moment, couldn’t have it, didn’t deserve the memory.

Not like this.

NEVER like this.

And so it was the hardest thing he had ever done, and quite possibly the most cowardly, when he took breath and dropped one last kiss on her lips before saying the words that were going to destroy this, destroy both of them. “I think we’re both more than a little drunk.” He pulled away, stepping back enough that there was some air between them. He forced himself to watch her, to wait for the moment confusion turned to pain, and something inside him broke at hurting her that way. She made a sound of protest, clinging to him, and he couldn’t just drop it there. “You have a future, Rey, and I can’t—I WON’T—be the thing that gets in the way of that. Especially not like this. You deserve better.”

He couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again, another chaste press of lips like the one that started things, before helping her back into her coat while they both pretended there were no tears slipping silently down her face.

She was back in the outer office and Ben watched from his doorway when Poe came in looking for her, and for once Poe looked between the two of them and didn’t comment, just took her arm with a murmured, “Let’s get you home.”

As the elevator doors slid closed, they both pretended they couldn’t hear the sounds of glass shattering, or the bellow of rage and pain that accompanied the sound. She thought Poe might try, later, and probably again several times over the weeks and months to come, to get her to talk about it, to tell him what happened, but she was resolved that she wouldn’t.

Not ever.

Not anything other than, “We were saying goodbye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
> 
> Seriously, this was the scene/moment that started the ENTIRE work. Honestly, this was originally supposed to be the end of the original story with The Friday Shirt as a sequel but I can't do that to y'all.
> 
> The early part of the chapter was reworked a bit thanks to the Thanksgiving events (remember that? The fluffy sweetness? Hold on to it.)
> 
> Also, they were drunk (particularly Rey)...not so drunk they won't remember but definitely too drunk for informed and enthusiastic consent. 
> 
> Next chapter is basically ready to go, please hold off with the pitchforks and torches until after that one is posted in a day or two.
> 
> This particular chapter (and the entire story as a result) was largely inspired by Chase Holfelder's minor key version of All I Want For Christmas (and yes it is on the playlist). Also for this chapter, Under My Skin would be the song I envisioned playing during the dance, and the end of the chapter was very definitely Gavin Mikhail's version of Let Her Go.
> 
> And finally, if you want to know what Leia and Amilyn talked about while Ben and Rey were dancing, a VERY short cut scene will be posted in Matchmaking shortly.


	9. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is wallowing in her misery, but Rose, Finn, and Poe refuse to let her get away with that at Christmas...but then they leave her home alone with a bottle of champagne and her phone on New Year's Eve. 
> 
> _She made a noise best described as a squeak and nearly dropped her mobile. She heard him chuckling as she recovered and managed—barely—to not fall off her perch on the edge of the sofa. “Fine, I’m fine…I’m sorry, Mr. Solo, I don’t know why I called…I just…”_
> 
> _He waited, and she could almost see the patient, expectant look he’d offered her a few times when she was working through one of the issues on the project, the look Poe claimed no one else ever got from him. “I guess, I was lonely and wanted to hear a friendly voice?”_
> 
> _“And you picked mine?” He seemed genuinely surprised, which confused her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, another update!
> 
> This is basically the end of what I have already completed so updates MAY slow a bit (it really depends on my schedule as I am apparently an essential employee and am still working...so far my days off have been consistent but if that changes I may not have another update for a while). I am hoping to have an update on SOMETHING this weekend, and there's a couple new ideas on the backburner that are kind of yelling for attention so...anyway, thanks for coming back after the way I ended the last chapter. 
> 
> Also we get a glimpse of Finn's POV at one point, because, well, Finn! (Er, yep, we're gonna go with that and not 'I slipped up and don't feel like re-writing the whole chapter').
> 
> This chapter also had very specific musical influences so if you are interested in that, check the end notes.

It was hard, not taking it as another rejection, another abandonment in her life, and so Rey had allowed herself to wallow for the following days. The first day, she just claimed a hangover, and Rose let her get away with that, mostly because her own hangover made her brain throb too much to question it.

The second day Poe called and she didn’t answer but then he called again, and again, and Finn called Rose, because Rey had also ignored their texts, preferring to spend the day curled into a ball in the center of her bed. She wasn’t crying, really, there were no tears left in her.

The third day Rose had to go back to work, and Rey had long ago put her phone on silent (in the living room) so she had been able to spend a few more hours wallowing in her own misery. Unfortunately for her plans to continue this activity for an unspecified time, going to work did NOT stop Rose from giving a copy of their apartment key to Finn and Poe and they were there just after 10 AM. She’d thought she could just ignore the knocking, but then the squeal-scrape-scratch of the faulty lock and warped door opening told her what Rose had done. Stubbornly clinging to misery, Rey stuck her head under the blanket she was huddled in and ignored the voices of her friends calling to her.

“Peanut, Rey baby, you have to get up. Rose says you haven’t gotten out of bed except to use the bathroom, or showered, or even eaten since the party. We’re worried about you.” Finn slipped onto the bed beside her, voice soft as he murmured more words meant to comfort and encourage.

When Rey just groaned and curled tighter into the fetal position, Poe tried a _different_ tactic. Rey yelped as the covers were yanked unceremoniously to the floor, the overhead light flipped on, and the blinds jerked upward, all while Poe—jolly, jovial, everyone’s friend (even grumpy asshat bosses) Poe Dameron— _yelled at her._ “REY JACKSON GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW, TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER, AND COME EAT!”

The shock was enough to make her at least acknowledge them as she sat up blinking. “YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES BEFORE I DRAG YOU IN THERE MYSELF,” he continued, pointing at her bathroom door where Finn was already turning on the water for her. Poe slammed back out of her bedroom and went into the kitchen, banging things around and grumbling about idiot children who don’t know what’s good for them.

“Come on, Peanut, he’s not kidding.” Rey dragged herself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, only stopped from actually falling by Finn’s arms. “Do you need help?” She shook her head no and Finn removed his hands from her waist with a doubtful expression, waiting to see whether she was actually steady on her feet. “Rey, have you had any water?” She shrugged and gestured to the single half empty glass on her nightstand and Finn cursed. “Poe! Hey, baby, bring me some of those water bottles you brought, and maybe the sports drinks, our _little_ idiot’s dehydrated, too,” he called into the kitchen before turning back to the shower and switching it over to fill the tub. “Shower’s not gonna happen, she can barely stand up,” he mumbled when his fiancé came back into the room.

Poe sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “At least _she’s_ not still drunk.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed, leaning against the counter and studying her carefully.

The pair supervised while she finished off a water bottle and half a Powerade—SLOWLY as per Poe’s insistence. Finn had stripped off his shirt and the two would hear no argument that she could bathe by herself, arguing that if she slipped, hit her head, and drowned then their morning really had been wasted. While Finn made sure she didn’t fall or pass out in the bathroom and helped her wash her hair as if she were a small child, Poe set about stripping her bed and changing her sheets out for a different threadbare but clean set. He didn’t comment when he pulled the red party dress out of the trash can by her bed and found a spare plastic bag for it, planning to get it to the cleaners. He suspected when Rey was back to herself, she would be horrified at the idea of discarding the dress after only one wear.

It was worrisome that their strong, self-sufficient Rey didn’t argue about any of it, and the couple shared a lot of meaningful looks over her head as she sat on the couch wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe as Poe attempted to get the knots out of her hair without hurting her and Finn busied himself with the bags of take out they had picked up on the way, piling eggs, bacon, pancakes, and fruit onto a plate and placing it on the coffee table before her beside two large, and somehow still steaming to go cups, one coffee and one peppermint tea.

At first, she only ate to humor them, intending to force down a few bites so they would stop hovering. Then her body’s survival instincts kicked in, demanding more, and they had to remind her to slow down again, lest she make herself sick. After she had cleared most of the plate and leaned back sipping on the peppermint tea, she felt _almost_ human again. Poe had braided her hair (and done a decent job of it).

“So. You and Solo.” Rey flinched at his name and Finn couldn’t stop the tensing in his body. That reaction, just his name hurting her, he wanted to go stomp a hole in Ben Solo’s face. He couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice. “What happened after the party Rey?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.” Her answer was barely a whisper.

“Obviously something. Rey, you really scared us. You ARE scaring us. Did he…hurt you?” He had to ask, he did, even though the logical part of him knew Solo wouldn’t have, and he was just as messed up about whatever did happen as Rey. That much had been clear after he and Poe had gone to Solo’s apartment earlier in the morning, after a distressed call from Leia asking Poe to check on him because he’d missed some family thing and wasn’t answering any calls or texts.

Poe had dragged Ben bodily into the shower ( _and how hot had THAT been—wait inappropriate tangent, Finn, but he couldn’t help it, Poe was extra hot when he took charge and manhandled people_ ).

Solo hadn’t exactly been forthcoming but...well, the guy may have anger management issues but that was one line Finn didn’t actually believe he’d ever cross. And the guy was a mess, probably more so than Rey, though not by much. After making sure he had a shower and some food, they’d left the _big_ idiot with bottled water, ibuprofen, and extracted an assurance from him that he had an appointment with his therapist later that day anyway.

Finally, a reaction from her. Rey’s head snapped up and a hint of her usual fire was there in her eyes. “Absolutely not! He would never! My God, Finn, what are you…how can you even suggest…no. Ben didn’t do anything. This is all on me.” Her resolve not to ever tell _anyone_ what happened was broken by the idea that they would even suggest he had in any way forced or harmed her.

She sipped her tea again and closed her eyes. “I…after the party when I went back for my keys, he was in the office. You know how much I had to drink and I, may have, well I kissed him. But he rejected me, as he should. He’s my boss, and we’re maybe friends…or at least we were until I went and ruined it, but that’s ALL. I was drunk and stupid and I should be grateful he stopped it.” She sank into the couch cushions, eyes closed again.

“Stopped what, Rey?” Now Poe sounded like himself and she felt herself flush as she mumbled under her breath. “What was that?” She covered her face with both hands, refusing to answer. “Reeeeeey, did he kiss you back?”

Her only response was a squeaking sound but Poe just waited, sitting beside her and _staring_ in that way that felt like he could just pluck every embarrassing thing she had ever done straight out of her memory. Rey groaned, knowing they wouldn’t give up. Poe loved gossip and secrets, and Finn seemed like he might still think Ben had tried to force her into something she didn’t want (at least she assumed that was what the weird look on his face was about).

“Ugh, fine! I kissed him, just a Christmas kiss, right? And then he, um, he kissed me back and…”

“And?”

“ _AndI’mprettysurewealmosthadsexonhisdeskbuthe…stopped, before anything more than kissing could really happen.”_ She was panting for breath by the time she got the words out.

They stared. Waiting. Rey focused on her breathing and sipped her tea in an attempt at procrastination. Finn just gave her that _look_ he had just for her, the one that insisted she rip off the band-aid and do whatever it was she was avoiding at the time. It was a little disturbing how well he could read her after only a few months. Poe too, really. Rey sighed. She wasn’t getting out of this, so she may as well just give in and tell them the rest, lay all her humiliation at their feet. At least she was (reasonably) sure they wouldn’t add to it or judge her. “He said he wouldn’t, that we couldn’t, because he’s my boss and we were both drunk. He was…nice about it, I guess. You know, let me down gently instead of just saying he wasn’t interested in someone like me.” Finn and Poe both made sounds of protest. She shrugged, downing the dregs of her tea and making a face. “I’ll be fine. I AM fine. Just humiliated. I can’t believe I did that. If I promise not to wallow anymore, can we please just drop the matter?”

“Rey, I don’t think—” Poe trailed off at a look from Finn and groaned. “Fine. Matter dropped,” Poe grumbled, glaring at his soon to be husband.

Rey gave him a _look_ of her own but shrugged it off. After all, what was there for him to say? It had been a stupid, drunken moment, it was over, and she would go back to work after the holidays, apologize for her behavior, and hope Ben didn’t go to HR and stop her transfer or just fire her outright.

Finn and Poe let it drop and Rey dressed in yoga pants and an old, holey long sleeve tee with a graphic so cracked and faded she wasn’t even sure what it had been before settling back on the couch between them for an afternoon of trash TV. Once the pair were fairly certain she wasn’t actually a danger to herself they reminded her of Christmas lunch at theirs and went home, the door scraping and squealing (much to her annoyance) as she closed it behind them.

Needing to DO something after days of nothing, Rey dug the small, battered tool chest out of her closet. Most of the contents were second-hand (or third in a few cases) but they were decent quality. By the time Rose came home from her day shift, the door was fixed, along with the living room window that had never properly closed, the kitchen had been scrubbed to gleaming, and Rey had a (frozen) lasagna in the oven.

Rose hugged her with a sigh of relief. “I was so worried about you, sweetie. I hope you aren’t too mad I gave the boys a key.”

Rey returned the hug. “No, they should have one, for emergencies. And I’m sorry I scared you. I just…I did something stupid and I was embarrassed and a little hurt but I never meant to worry anyone. I just wanted to wallow for a bit.” Rose didn’t look like she quite believed it but she shrugged, taking what she could get.

She tried, she really did, and her family of choice all agreed that it was a good effort, but Rey just wasn’t quite in the holiday spirit, which was how she ended up going home early on Christmas Eve, a mug of hot cocoa, a fluffy blanket, and an old black and white holiday movie to get her through the night. Rose was working, unwilling to give up the double time holiday pay for working the midnight shift on Christmas. It was why they’d all gathered for Christmas lunch instead of dinner at Finn and Poe’s.

The text alert on her phone went off just after midnight and she grabbed it with a smile, expecting a “Merry Christmas” from Rose now that the date was officially December 25th.

The message was not from Rose.

_I’m sorry._

Some of the tension in her broke and she finally felt like she could take a deep breath for the first time in days. She sent a reply before she could second guess herself.

_Me too._

She’d still apologize in person, of course. Almost immediately, her text alert sounded again.

_See you after New Year’s?_

She replied with an immediate ‘yes, of course’ and that time she did stop herself before sending anything else, or even worse, calling him. Distance. She needed distance from the man who had, she must admit, become a bit of an obsession for her. After all, if he wanted to actually talk to her he would have called her, right? Not sent a text.

Still, after she turned off the telly and headed to bed, she couldn’t help opening the message one more time, stroking a thumb over the screen with a whispered, “Happy Christmas, Ben.”

The rest of the holiday break flew by, Finn and Poe roping her into helping with the rest of their wedding plans for April after Finn officially requested that she and Rose stand up with him. They weren’t behind, really, but they had allowed themselves a little less than a year between the engagement and their wedding date, and there was a lot to do. They each wanted some of the traditional touches, and the pressure of choosing flowers and cake flavors had already been enough to panic Finn because, as he had admitted to her one night after sampling one too many options for their cocktail hour, some irrational part of him was afraid he’d choose wrong and upset Poe.

Suddenly after a whirlwind of days spent holding Finn’s hand and encouraging him to trust himself because the only thing that mattered was that he was going to marry the love of his life, she found herself facing the prospect of New Year’s Eve alone, and her only exciting plans were trying to decide between ordering Chinese or eating leftovers. Rose, for once, was off, but she had accepted a date with Snap, and they planned on doubling with Finn and Poe. They had of course invited Rey, but she didn’t want to intrude, and she honestly didn’t want to watch all the happy couples around her kiss at midnight while she stood in a corner alone.

It made her feel lonely, and maybe a little sorry for herself.

Which is how she ended up opening the bottle of not-so-great champagne a neighbor had dropped off the previous week, and drinking a little more than she should have, especially considering her recent alcohol induced escapades. She wasn’t drunk, not quite, but definitely feeling more relaxed and far less inhibited than may have been a good plan when she decided, at 11:57PM on New Year’s Eve, to call Ben Solo. Her brain caught up with her actions and she scrambled to end the call immediately, but he answered almost as soon as the call connected.

“Oh no.”

“Rey, are you okay?”

She made a noise best described as a squeak and nearly dropped her mobile. She heard him chuckling as she recovered and managed—barely—to not fall off her perch on the edge of the sofa. “Fine, I’m fine…I’m sorry, Mr. Solo, I don’t know why I called…I just…”

He waited, and she could almost see the patient, expectant look he’d offered her a few times when she was working through one of the issues on the project, the look Poe claimed no one else ever got from him. “I guess, I was lonely and wanted to hear a friendly voice?”

“And you picked mine?” He seemed genuinely surprised, which confused her.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Rey, I’m not exactly considered friendly by most people and, well, after the other night….”

“Well I’m not most people.” She deliberately ignored his mention of “The Kiss-cident."

She heard a murmur of voices and what sounded like the click of a door on his side. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Solo, you’re busy aren’t you, of course you are, it’s New Year’s Eve.”

“Rey, it’s fine. And I think you can call me Ben.” He paused and there was a rush of noise and jovial voices.

Rey groaned, realizing it was now officially New Year’s Day and she was apparently keeping him from a party. “I didn’t mean to ruin your New Year’s, Mr. S-ah, Ben.”

“You didn’t.” It sounded like he was walking, moving away from the source of the noise. “My parents dragged me to their party. I should thank you for saving me. You know how I feel about this kind of thing.”

“Parties?”

“Social gatherings period, particularly ones hosted by my mother. Now, why exactly aren’t _you_ at some wild New Year’s bash kissing random strangers at midnight?”

Rey couldn’t stop her giggles. “Random strangers? What kind of parties does your mother throw?”

“The kind where I’m expected to perform like a trained animal on display?”

“Sounding a little angry and bitter there, Solo. Would your therapist approve?”

“ _Shit._ Forget I said that. It’s been a long week.” She could just make out a thump and then the sound quality changed.

“Yes, it has.” Rey couldn’t hold back a yawn. “Ben, are you in your car? Did you actually leave the party?”

“I told you, you saved me. Your call gave me the excuse to leave.”

“And why is that?”

He cleared his throat and hesitated before answering. “I, ah, may have led my mother to believe I was on an overseas work call.”

“Ben Solo!”

“What? It’s _technically_ true. You work with me and you moved from ‘across the pond’ so I wasn’t really lying.” And she can tell he’s grinning now. “I know you’re frowning at me. I can _feel_ it over the connection.”

“Too true.” They lapsed into silence but it was comfortable. At least until she yawned again.

“You should sleep, Rey. Drink some water first though, you’ve been drinking.”

“Mm…wait, how can you tell?”

“Other than you thinking I’m friendly? Just a guess.”

“Fine, keep your bloody secrets.” She grumbled, still smiling. “Ben?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for talking to me.”

“Anytime.”

“Happy New Year, Mr. Solo.”

She ended the call before she could give in to the impulse to beg him to talk to her until she fell asleep. She woke up around 10 AM, feeling more rested than in, well, weeks really, and had a laugh at the text message waiting for her.

_Your accent’s stronger when you drink. Happy New Year!_

Rose remarked on her much-improved mood when she wandered home a couple hours later, practically glowing and good-naturedly taking Rey’s teasing about a walk of shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Finn and Poe were supposed to drag Rey back into the land of the living, breeze through the holiday season with her regardless of what she wanted, and then Rey would have an uncomfortable meeting with HR on Monday followed by an equally awkward conversation (rife with misunderstanding, of course) with Ben after. But they insisted on being difficult so who am I to argue…
> 
> For the music that inspired/influenced this chapter, [the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA) includes three specific tracks:
> 
> A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover  
> Linkin Park - My December (oh, the depressed wallowing...)  
> Chase Rice - Lonely if You Are (absolutely blame/thank this one for the tipsy NYE phone call and the fact that it ended on a positive note).
> 
> The tracks in between were more about the general mood.


	10. Brand New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben return to work after the holidays, expecting to pretty much return to normal. Everyone else in the building is acting oddly, though.
> 
> _She offered him a weak, watery smile. “I’m okay, Ben. Really, I am. Just…a little overwhelmed. New job, finding you a decent assistant, people staring at me all day, the um, the holiday break, just…everything. And then…” She gestured weakly at the takeout box._
> 
> _“Ah, and then you didn’t eat.” He paused, something else she had said dawning on him. “Wait, you’re getting the staring, too?” She nodded. “Okay, what is all that about? Snap Wexley waved at me today, and I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think half the women in this building were flirting.”_
> 
> _Rey leaned back against her chair. “They probably were.”_
> 
> _“Huh?”_
> 
> _“That’s what all the staring and whispers are about. Us. Apparently dancing with you ONCE was enough to cause quite the scandal. Amilyn actually asked me if we were…um, anyway.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're probably going to be upset with me again. Hopefully not so much as after the party.

Rey stared at the neatly wrapped package, straightening the ribbon once more before picking up the gift and returning it to her closet shelf with a sigh. It was the only gift she hadn’t delivered yet, the one she had been most excited about when she found it in a little second-hand shop. The price had indicated the proprietor didn’t know the true value, although when she had carried her treasure to the register, she’d been told it likely wouldn’t work, hadn’t been properly cleaned and cared for. Still, she had been more than willing to try her hand at the repair and the shop owner had even recommended some websites she could reference, and a name or two if Rey wanted to pay someone else for the restoration.

She hadn’t needed to pay anyone else.

A little more scavenging had yielded two more (in much sadder shape) that she could use for parts, and the cleaning had taken a while but was fairly straightforward.

Still, after…everything…she didn’t feel comfortable giving this particular gift to the intended recipient.

Maybe for his birthday? Or next year?

She pushed the package to the back of the shelf, out of sight, and grabbed her clothes for the day before she closed the closet door.

She glanced at the time and cursed, realizing how long she had been staring at Ben’s Christmas present. At least Poe and Finn we’re picking her up (despite her protests that it wasn’t necessary). It had been days now, but they still looked at her sometimes as if they thought she might suddenly spiral and throw herself back into the pit of despair.

Rey rushed to get dressed, not wanting to be late her first day back after the holiday break. She couldn’t control how she felt. She couldn’t control how Ben didn’t feel. But she bloody well could control this.

When Finn pulled up to the curb she was standing on the sidewalk, balancing a box from the bakery on the corner in addition to her usual messenger bag and the new travel mug Rose had gotten her for Christmas, a white cup with black handle and lid, proudly proclaiming the contents to be “Anti-Murder Juice.”

“Morning, Peanut,” Finn said with a grin, meeting her eyes in the rearview mirror before pulling into the light traffic on her street.

“What ya got in the box, Rey?” Poe asked, turning in his seat to give her puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, nothing,” she said with a grin. “Why?” Poe pouted and batted his lashes and she laughed before opening the box. “Two dozen assorted pastries. Which do you want?”

Poe’s eyes lit up and he contorted himself to lean farther back and look into the box, causing Finn to tell him to sit in his seat like a normal person (complete with a muttered comment that he knew that was hard for Poe). “Hey now, I resemble that remark! Now you can’t have a bite,” Poe muttered around a mouthful of coffee cake. It was Finn’s turn to pout as he drove.

Something had changed. Ben was used to the way people reacted to his presence, sudden silence, eyes darting away and heads ducking down, the rustle of papers and the sudden memory of needing to do something _anywhere_ else. There were few exceptions, apart from Poe, Finn, and now Rey. Well, Hux and Kaydel, but they were rarely at headquarters. Even Amilyn Holdo was sometimes hesitant to meet his eyes.

But today he was getting these _looks_. Dorothy, the engineering admin, gave him a knowing grin as he stopped by and dropped off some hard copy reports for Poe to look over. 3 women he vaguely recognized from some sort of clerical position stared with soft eyes—one of them blushing and looking away—as he passed by the break room on the third floor. Jessika Pava actually smiled and offered him a friendly good morning as soon as he entered her office to go over budget details for his next project and the deal with Andor Machinery, and then he knew for sure something was up. She usually rushed through everything and only spoke to him in response to direct questions.

Then, on his way back to the elevators, Snap Wexley (who had always seemed to be terrified of him) had waved and asked how he was doing.

Ben ran a hand through his hair as he stepped into the mercifully empty elevator and inserted his express access card. He was starting to wonder if he was suffering a psychotic break, or maybe he’d had a stroke.

Why were people being… _nice_ to him? Some of them were even almost…friendly.

Rey vaguely noticed the whispers as she entered the building with Finn and Poe, heading to Poe’s desk to drop off half the remaining pastries in her box with his department’s administrative assistant who promised to also hold a couple for Snap and made a confusing comment about trees and the holiday break as Rey left.

What seemed like half the general administrative pool (which Rey had learned here at SOS just meant the staff who did everything from answering all incoming calls and filing paperwork to delivering mail) was grinning and giggling at her as she walked to the elevator. Odd.

She thought she heard Jessika calling out to her as the lift doors slid closed, but it was too late to press the open button at that point. Rey shrugged. She probably just had a project budget question she wanted Rey to pass on to Mr. Solo— _Ben_ , he had said she could call him Ben and regardless of whether she _should_ , Rey _wanted_ to. Since Rey had been hired, she had quickly learned that other departments preferred to go through her (aside from Engineering, they went through Poe) rather than even email Ben directly.

She stepped into the 14th floor lobby and felt the tension in her muscles increase exponentially. She could at least admit to herself that she had personally delivered the pastries she’d brought in order to delay stepping back into the office for the first time since night of the party.

When she realized she was dragging her feet, pausing every few steps, she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, irritated with herself, and marched the rest of the way into the office and to her desk. She dropped her back in the desk and hung her coat on the inside of the supply closet door, checked the coffee maker to see Ben had already brewed a pot, and started up her computer.

Okay.

This was it.

She couldn’t— _wouldn’t_ —put it off any longer.

Steeling herself, she knocked lightly on the inner office door, twisting the knob as he answered and stepping inside.

Rey froze.

Ben was the most unkempt she’d ever seen him, shirt untucked and only half buttoned as he ran a towel over his damp hair.

He looked up and jumped a little before recovering himself and offering a quirk of his lips at the look on her face.

“Uh, sorry, I was expecting Poe.”

“I can…later…um…” Rey fumbled at the doorknob behind her before turning around and freezing in place when he said her name.

“Rey?” She wouldn’t look at him. He knew he was making her uncomfortable and he should let her leave but he just…couldn’t. Not yet. He tossed the towel in the general direction of the bathroom door and made quick work of buttoning his shirt. “Did you need something?”

Her response was muffled by the door.

“Uh, what?”

She sighed and turned around, leaning back against the door with her eyes shut. “I said I need to apologize.”

Well, now he was confused. “What for? Is this about New Year’s Eve? I told you, I was grateful you saved me.”

“No, well yes, that too, but no. I mean for what happened after the party. I shouldn’t have—”

“Rey, what are you talking about? You were just being friendly, and I practically mauled you. Even worse, I knew exactly how much you’d been drinking. I never should have…taken advantage. I understand if you want to report this to HR.”

“What? No! You didn’t! You wouldn’t!” She had stomped over in front of him, the embarrassed blush from earlier replaced by a flush of anger across her cheeks (why did he know that? He shouldn’t be able to tell the difference).

She was even more beautiful angry, especially when it was in defense of someone else (even if she was defending him from himself…wait…this was confusing…also she was close enough that he could just reach out and…no…nope…don’t do that, can’t do that).

He backed up one step.

She paused, a startled grin creeping over her face before she laughed. “Oh, what a pair we are! I have spent at least some portion of every day worrying I’d offended you by being so forward, and now here you are trying to take all the blame.”

“Well, yeah, because it’s my fault.”

Rey laid a hand on his forearm. “Ben, I think we can share the blame here. Well, 25% for each of us, 50% on your mother’s insistence on an open bar and Poe’s insistence we all avail ourselves.”

“I like the way you think.” He laid one his hand over hers, shifting until he had her hand clasped between his. “So, still friends?”

She paused, seeming to really think about it as she studied him before nodding to herself. “I’d like that,” she said softly. There was something in the way she looked up at him, some hint of…hurt…there in her eyes. He wanted to take that away. He fought against the impulse to drag her into his arms, kiss her senseless again.

It was a fight he was losing.

They sprang apart at a knock on the door, both looking like startled animals when Poe let himself in. Rey rushed back to her desk. Ben watched her go then shook himself. “Don’t,” he ordered gruffly, pointing a warning finger at Poe. For his part, Poe just held up his hands in surrender and muttered a suggestion that maybe Ben should tuck in his shirt and get his coat and tie before they met with the Board.

_Friends._

Still _friends._

Rey had finally admitted to herself she didn’t want to be _friends_ with Ben Solo. She wanted more, so much more. But if he only wanted her friendship (and why would he want more with women like Bazine and all those heiresses constantly throwing themselves at him?), then she could do that.

Maybe.

She was roused from her thoughts by the ringing of her desk phone. That rarely happened, at least not this early. She answered and was greeted warmly by Amilyn Holdo, asking her to come by around 2 PM regarding her request for transfer to project engineering. “I would be happy to,” she said, trying to sound happier about it than she currently felt.

Why wasn’t she happier?

This was her dream job. And it was practically hers already. Just a formality, Amilyn had told her at the party and again on the phone.

She’d be doing what she loved.

She’d be working even more regularly with Poe.

Of course, she would see Ben less…

_Oh._

This was…not a good thing. Was she really considering turning down her dream job, the thing she had worked so hard for because she had a crush on her (hot, sweet, caring, intelligent) boss?

Yes, Rey realized. She was.

She jumped a bit when Ben and Poe came out of his office and rushed out the door. “Hi, Rey! Bye, Rey!” Poe called over his shoulder as went through the outer door, Ben right behind him, not even looking her way.

But then Ben paused, grinning at her, and she felt her breath catch for a moment. “Conference with Andor at 12:30. He wants you on specifically.” She nodded, unable to speak as her heart attempted to jump out of her body as he left.

This…wasn’t a crush.

It _had been_ a crush her first week or two. But at this point it was…so much more.

But he wanted to be _friends_.

And that was exactly why she had to do all she could to make sure she really did get this new position. Before she accosted him and embarrassed herself…again.

Ben hadn’t come back from meeting with the Executive Board and Management Team until nearly time for the call with Andor. Rey had a sandwich waiting for him, and he nearly inhaled it on the way to the conference room.

The call with Andor should have been 20 minutes, tops, but they got…sidetracked by some potential issues regarding the new partnership and the next project which had devolved once again into Cassian and Rey debating the merits of his older designs being scaled down versus something completely new, or possibly a hybrid of some sort. Rey actually ended up excusing herself early to make her appointment with HR.

And she still hadn’t had lunch yet.

She’d made sure Ben had eaten but hadn’t bothered to get anything for herself, assuming she’d have time between the video conference and meeting Amilyn.

So really, it was to be expected that she arrived at HR with a headache and a deflated mood. Amilyn has taken one look at her, closed the door, and taken the seat beside Rey rather than across from her, genuine concern on her face.

“Rey? Are you okay?”

Rey offered a tight smile, squinting against the harsh fluorescent lighting in the office. Apparently, this headache was going to include light and sound sensitivities.

“I’m fine, really.” The head of HR stared as if she didn’t believe it (not shocking). “It’s just a headache.”

“Rey,” Amilyn said gently, “You know you’re safe here, right? I know HR gets a bad rap, but I am here for you. It’s all about protecting you.” Rey blinked slowly. “Rey, if you’re being…mistreated…or coerced in any way, you can tell me.”

Rey was genuinely confused. “What?”

“Rey, I don’t know if there is anything to them, but there are…rumors…things I have heard, complaints made, that have me very concerned for you.”

“I’m sorry, Amilyn, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Amilyn sat up straight, studying Rey as she seemed to consider her words carefully. “Rey, are you having a sexual relationship with Ben Solo? And if so, has he threatened or coerced you in any way? These are serious allegations and I have to ask.”

Rey’s mouth dropped open in shock. “What? Oh my God! No! He wouldn’t…never…” Rey groaned and buried her face in her hands. “There was…an incident…after the holiday party. I had too much to drink and I kissed him.” Rey didn’t see the wide-eyed expression on Amilyn’s face as she rushed to continue, “but he put a stop to it and sent me home. We’re friends, and he’s my boss, but he’s gone out of his way to keep everything professional.” Her eyes narrowed, anger on Ben’s behalf burning bright within her as she mulled over what Amilyn had said.

Allegations.

Who the fuck had the nerve?

“Who complained, Amilyn?”

“Rey, I can’t disclose that. It’s confidential.”

“Fine. WHEN? You said allegations, plural.”

“Again, I can’t disclose that information.”

“Okay, fine.” Rey took a deep breath, trying to control her temper. “Let me just say this and I will drop it—for now. If ANY of this came from that fucker Mitaka, you should know it’s all lies because he can’t stand the fact that I can do his job better than he can.” The HR head cleared her throat but didn’t comment.

“And as for these so-called rumors, why would you put any stock in them?”

“I have to take everything seriously, Rey. Even if I think a rumor or complaint is completely unfounded. I had hoped it was all unfounded gossip, but I would be doing you a disservice not to investigate. And then you came in here looking completely miserable, and after the Holiday party…well I had my own concerns.”

Rey studied her quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Rey, I saw you dancing with Ben Solo at the party. In all the years I have known him—and believe me that’s a lot longer than you might think—he has never willingly stayed at a party, he certainly hasn’t danced, and he has never made any announcements or speeches. There were also rumors you were seen leaving with party with him after the awards. And I have had multiple reports of you being on the roof, and security has confirmed you’ve left with him after working late on more than one occasion. It doesn’t look good.”

Rey shook her head. “None of that…it was all perfectly innocent. I look terrible today because I accidentally skipped lunch. Ben—Mr. Solo—has dropped me off at home a couple of times after work because I don’t have a car and Finn and Poe needed to get home, and none of them wanted me waiting for the bus so late. He took me outside after the awards presentation at the party because I was having a panic attack, and he had Finn and Poe come with us. The roof too. I’ve been up there twice, the first time he wasn’t even there—Poe took me up because I needed to get some air, and once the four of us had breakfast.” She stared at Amilyn, still offended on Ben’s behalf. “I can’t speak to his past party behavior—OH MY GOD! Wait! Is that why people are whispering and giggling when they see me? Because I danced with my boss ONE TIME?”

Finally, Amilyn smiled at her. “I believe so. Unfortunately, people like to gossip and nearly everyone who was at the party saw a completely different side of Ben Solo. It’s causing some talk.”

Rey groaned.

“Well, now that this is cleared up, I can close that file and we can move on to the real reason I called you in here today.”

The rest of their time was spent discussing a transition to Engineering and whether Rey would be willing to start off part time there and part time in her current position while they found and trained a new admin assistant to take her place. Of course, she said yes to that, and really it was essentially what she was already doing.

As she was on her way out the door, Amilyn called out to her again, shuffling some papers before stowing them in the top drawer of her desk. “Oh, Rey, just keep in mind, in the event that you _were_ to ever date a… _coworker_ , you just have to disclose it to HR and sign some paperwork. Also, I’ll do what I can about the office gossip, but you know how these things go.”

Rey nodded and offered a weak smile before letting herself out and closing the door behind her. Her headache had grown exponentially, and she was starting to get a little light-headed. She thought about popping over to the 3rd floor break room to swipe some pastries or something, but it wasn’t exactly empty, and she just didn’t feel like putting up with the stares and whispers.

Once again, she was eternally grateful for her express elevator access. Idly, she wondered if she could get them to let her keep it when she moved to Project Engineering.

That and the bathroom key. Considering he hadn’t even bothered to give it to her at first, Rey thought Ben would probably let her keep that. He should anyway.

Although he _would_ have a new assistant who would probably need it.

She sighed, a hint of sadness pushing at the excited thrill of having landed her dream job in a matter of months.

She had never believed she would be one of those women who would consider giving up her dreams for a man. Her dream man but still…

Rey really needed to eat. Low blood sugar was making her crazy.

_Right. Low blood sugar. Sure, she could blame that._

She also blamed low blood sugar for the tears that gathered in her eyes when she got into the office and found a takeout box and a large to go cup of her preferred afternoon tea, waiting on her desk.

Ben heard Rey come back from her HR meeting and before he could even think it through, he was out of his chair, striding across his office. He opened the door intending to ask her how things went (he already knew she had the job, and that the plan was for her to transition to half time until he had a new assistant, but he wanted to hear it from her, to see the excited pride in her smile when she told him). Instead he found her crying silently as she stared at the sandwich he’d left on her desk.

“Rey?” She startled, jerking in her chair and swiping at her eyes. “What’s wrong?” She turned away, refusing to look at him and he found himself awkwardly squatting beside her chair.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. Really.” If he hadn’t seen the tears, if she hadn’t refused to look at him, he might have almost believed her.

He grasped the back of her chair, swiveling it back towards him. “Rey.”

She offered him a weak, watery smile. “I’m okay, Ben. Really, I am. Just…a little overwhelmed. New job, finding you a decent assistant, people staring at me all day, the um, the holiday break, just…everything. And then…” She gestured weakly at the takeout box.

“Ah, and then you didn’t eat.” He paused, something else she had said dawning on him. “Wait, you’re getting the staring, too?” She nodded. “Okay, what is all that about? Snap Wexley waved at me today, and I swear if I didn’t know better, I’d think half the women in this building were flirting.”

Rey leaned back against her chair. “They probably were.”

“Huh?”

“That’s what all the staring and whispers are about. Us. Apparently dancing with you ONCE was enough to cause quite the scandal. Amilyn actually asked me if we were…um, anyway.”

Ben fell back on the floor, sitting on the carpet and staring at Rey. He winced. He hadn’t realized…he should have though. He should have known better. Ben ran one hand through his hair. “Are, um…is there going to be any problem? From HR, or with your transfer?”

“Oh, no, not at all. I assured her there is nothing between us, and you have always been professional. She knows we can’t help it if other people gossip. And I think Mitaka was behind some of it. After Andor threw him out of the conference room that day. I am guessing he started the worst of the rumors.”

“Oh, well, that’s good, I guess. Not the rumors, that you cleared things up. Um, anyway, you should eat.” He unfolded himself from the floor and went back into the office, leaning back against the door after closing it behind him.

_Nothing between us._

_Nothing._

After New Year’s, and everything Poe had said the last few months, he’d thought, maybe…but no.

Well, that settled that. Clearly, Rey wanted to keep things strictly professional. He should be grateful, he supposed, that he hadn’t gone through with his original impulse to ask her out. He glanced at his desk, as if he could see the brightly wrapped package in the drawer. He hadn’t given Rey her Christmas gift, either. It probably wasn’t a good idea to do so now. Possibly for her birthday, or after her first project was successfully completed, once she moved to Engineering.

Because it would be successful.

It was Rey.

Or maybe his mother could give it to her?

Ben sighed and shook his head.

He had work to do. He had to stop pining over his assistant.


	11. The Manual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's been doing a lot of business travel while Rey prepares to move to her new job, but he's decided it's time to finally tell her everything. Assuming he can gather the courage to do so. That part is not so easy.
> 
> _Rey dragged Ben’s suitcase up the stairs and into her apartment, pausing at the picture he presented, hanging off her tiny sofa. She shook her head, slipping into her bedroom to change into a soft old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants before she woke him enough to tuck him into her bed, intending to spend the night in Rose’s room._
> 
> _But when he sleepily asked her to stay, she couldn’t refuse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely sure where this chapter came from, but I like it so...  
> The ending will again be frustrating, but there is progress. FINALLY. Sort of.
> 
> The Friday Shirt playlist can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA). Possibly vaguely spoilery.

Things moved quickly once Rey began the transition to her new position. Ben was out of the office more than he was in, leaving Rey to prepare for the transition and (per his request) help HR find and interview candidates for his new assistant, a task which was daunting at best.

She was able to spend more than just half-days working with Poe, getting a head start on the projects she would be taking over from him. She met with Amilyn several times to go over resumes and sit in on preliminary interviews. Several of the candidates Rey ruled out immediately, knowing they either would not be able to handle Ben Solo and his ‘personality quirks’ or they wouldn’t meet even his minimum standards.

And she spent at least an hour each day working on a project of her own. She could absolutely justify it as work-related, but she still went to great pains to keep anyone else from seeing it.

In the end there were several possible candidates by the time Ben returned from the longest trip yet. He stepped into the office just as Rey was finishing up her private project and preparing to head home for the day. She was standing between her desk…well, soon to be former desk, and chair.

He looked…completely exhausted.

“You look terrible!” she said, bluntly honest in her surprise. Well, he looked delicious, as always, but worn out. He had taken off his tie (because of course Ben Solo had started the day in a tie, there was no question there), opened the top buttons on his shirt, and his suit was wrinkled from a day of travel. He’d clearly been running his hands through his hair, leaving it a tousled mass on his head that her fingers itched to touch. And his eyes were bloodshot, dark circles underneath.

“Thanks,” he said, sarcasm drawing the word out into multiple syllables.

“Ben, why are you even here? There can’t possibly be anything that can’t wait for tomorrow. You are clearly exhausted, and you need to go home and rest.”

He studied her for a long moment, and she thought he wasn’t going to speak (well, unless he yelled…but he _probably_ wouldn’t do that).

Ben took a deep breath, weighing his impulse against the wisest action. He shrugged. Honesty. He could try honesty. His therapist had pointed out he had…challenges…communicating effectively, especially when it came to Rey. He should go with the impulsive answer. The honest one.

_I wanted to see you._

He opened his mouth to say it, to just fucking _tell_ her already.

And then he panicked.

“I, uh, wanted to pick some things up from the office, and then I need pick up Deathstar from Maz.” His mother’s assistant had become his de facto cat sitter every time he traveled. He used to leave the cat with Poe and Finn, but BB had become a bit of a bully and Deathstar was more than willing to stand up for herself. After the second time he’d forced Poe to let him pay the vet bill for the damage inflicted (not to mention replacing the items broken in the scuffle between the two felines), Ben had set about finding someone else to help. His father was allergic so his parents couldn’t take her. Maz had offered and so far, that seemed to be working out. He paused, looking at Rey again. “Are Poe and Finn taking you home?”

Rey shook her head. “Date night,” she explained. “So I need to run before I miss my bus.”

“I can drive you, if you want to wait while I swap out some paperwork.”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to go out of your way when I can get home perfectly well myself.”

“Rey, it’s not actually out of the way. Maz lives in your building…”

Rey blinked a few times. “I hadn’t realized…I mean, I guess that explains why I thought I had seen her a couple of times.”

“She’s been happily ‘dating’ your landlord for 37 years.” He grinned at her startled gasp.

“Wait, Maz and _Chewie_? They’re a thing? How…what…wow.” She shook her head, mumbling to herself. “How on earth did I miss that?” Chewie was one of the few people she had ever seen who was taller than Ben, and Maz was…decidedly not tall. She couldn’t help the giggles bubbling up out of her at the idea that those two people, who at first glance couldn’t be more opposite, had been happily dating for longer than she had been alive. She looked up to find Ben smiling at her and she grinned back. “Well, okay then, if you’re going there anyway, why not. It saves me the bus fare _and_ I don’t have to walk three blocks in these bloody things,” she said, pointing at her tan pumps.

They weren’t broken in yet, and she was starting to regret her impulse to transition back into heels so she would be slightly more comfortable in the strappy, rhinestone studded, monstrosities Poe and Finn had picked for their ‘groomswomen’ to wear in their upcoming wedding. Rose was slightly happier about it than Rey, but that had more to do with Snap’s appreciation for what heels did for her legs. Rey had heard far more than she would ever have imagined possible about how much Snap Wexley liked it when his new girlfriend wore heels.

He was in his office for maybe 10 minutes before coming back out and looking at Rey expectantly. “Shall w—what’s that?”

Rey gasped, realizing her pet project was visible under the stack of papers she’d hastily dropped on it when he came in the door. She flushed a bit but didn’t stop him from picking up the full 3 ring binder. He studied the cover a moment before opening it and flipping through at random.

**_Guide to the Proper Care and Feeding of Ben Solo_ **

**_A Manual for Assistants who Want to Keep their Jobs_ **

**_…and their limbs._ **

“Rey? There’s over a hundred pages here.”

She licked her lips nervously. “Yes.”

He flipped through a few more pages, brow wrinkling as he read over the contents.

She’d taken the training document Kaydel had given her when she started (a document she now knew Ben had created) and … expanded on it, explaining everything in detail, adding reference documents for things like the phone system, and adding a running commentary on _everything_.

Page seventeen had a footnote instructing the reader to “make sure he gives you the elevator express access card and bathroom key TODAY” and page 42 included a detailed set of instructions on how to properly brew coffee, with a reference to “appendix C” which turned out to be a list of the roasts, brands, and flavors he preferred.

The last page, in all caps and the largest font that would fit on a single page, simply said “ **BEN SOLO IS NOT A MONSTER** ” with a _tiny,_ cheeky note at the bottom, hastily scrawled by hand in bright purple ink, that said “As long as you keep him fed.”

Rey watched nervously as he closed the binder and placed it gently on the desk. She hadn’t intended for him to see it, at least not yet. He was staring at her again, eyes intense, and she looked away.

“It’s very…thorough,” he muttered, and she looked back up at him. He didn’t seem angry, but she couldn’t decipher his expression.

“Well, I want whoever replaces me to have a fighting chance.”

He snorted. “No one can replace you, Rey.”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “So…you aren’t mad?”

“About that? No.” He shook his head, looking down as the start of a smile quirked his lips. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

She didn’t think he was a monster.

She was wrong, but still…

He glanced at her, happily curled in the passenger seat. She looked _right_ there, like it was where she belonged. He’d thought so before, but it seemed to hit him harder somehow.

He’d missed her.

And he was too much of a coward to tell her.

Because if he told her how much he had missed her, how much she _meant_ to him, he would have to tell her everything, tell her about Snoke, and First Order Holdings, and the things he was responsible for while he worked there.

And then she would see he really _was_ a monster. He didn’t want that, didn’t want her to think of him that way.

Ben seemed unusually quiet. Rey tried to shrug it off as him just being tired, but something was just _off_. He wasn’t exactly a big talker, but this was odd. She was worried it was about the manual. She had been planning to show it to him, of course, but she had planned on that being closer to her full move to engineering, and when she could determine he was in a pleasant enough mood.

Maybe she’d hurt his feelings? Contrary to popular belief he did have them. She stared out the window, trying to work out how to ask him without making it worse if she had.

She still hadn’t figured it out when he made the turn onto her street.

As he put the car in park, she took a deep breath, deciding she was just going to ask him. “Ben, Are you s—”

“Rey, I—”

He stopped, gesturing for her to go first. She felt a nervous laugh escape her and now with him staring at her like that, she wasn’t sure she could speak. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth, and she couldn’t catch her breath.

“Rey? Are you okay?”

She nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. She normally had better control than this, but he’d been gone so much, it was almost like she had forgotten just how intense his gaze could be. “I just, Ben if I upset you, hurt your feelings or something, with that stupid manual, I’m sorry. It was just supposed to be a fun, silly icebreaker for your new assistant, with some helpful references too.” She looked down, biting her lip.

“What? No. It’s not…I just have…there are things on my mind and…” he shook his head. “I don’t…no, it’s nothing to do with the manual.” He leaned against the headrest. “That I liked.”

She smiled in relief. “Well, that’s good then. And I don’t want to pry, but, Ben,” she reached out, gently placing her hand on top of hers, “You know if you need to talk about anything, I’m here, right?”

“I…yeah, I know. But not…maybe not right now?” He looked away from her, running his free hand through his hair with a sigh, barely conscious of it when he turned their hands, lacing their fingers together. He stared blankly out the windshield.

_Fuck it._

He’d tell her.

He could do this.

Maybe.

“I think…Rey, you know I…think very highly of you, right?” He turned his head again, glancing back over at her. She seemed confused, but she was listening, and she hadn’t pulled her hand away from him. “I…you’re amazing, and I just…you won’t be my assistant much longer and I just need to…”

“Ben.”

He heard her shifting, heard a click as she managed to get her seatbelt undone with her free hand and suddenly, she was just _there_ , looming over him. She had climbed onto her knees in the passenger seat, leaning over the center console with the seatbelt tangled over her arm because _she was still holding his hand_. Her free hand crept up, resting lightly on his cheek as she urged him to face her. “Ben, whatever it is, just say it, okay? Because it seems to be bothering you. A lot.”

He froze under the weight of her gaze, unable to look away. “I…I don’t think I can.” She waited though, patient, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he could get through this, as long as she didn’t stop touching him. “Just…you…that last page, you said I’m not a monster. But I AM Rey. I am a monster and everyone else in the world seems to know that except you.” She took a breath, but he knew if she spoke, he couldn’t go on, couldn’t finish this, so he kept going, the words coming out in a rush as he cut her off. “In college, I was recruited, for an internship with First Order Holdings. My grandfather had been a partner in the original company, before it changed hands and names. I…things weren’t great, with my parents, and when they found out they tried to warn me away, talk me out of it, but that just made me more determined. The CEO, Mr. Snoke, he basically took me on as his protégé, and at the time I was stupid and thought it was because he had faith in my abilities. So, I did things…everything he said, whether it was right or not. After a while I stopped talking to my family, cut ties with my friends, hell I even changed my name.

“And then a couple years ago, something happened. There was an accident on a project I was responsible for. People were hurt, badly, some of them died. And it was because I cut corners. I let things slide, it was my fault. And Snoke, he didn’t even care. He just wanted me to do it again, said they were _acceptable losses_ as long as we finished on time and under budget. And the next project was at an elementary school _._ PEOPLE, Rey. People were acceptable losses and he wanted me to risk KIDS. And I just…I still don’t sleep because when I do, I see their faces. I…the nightmares are…” he trailed off, shaking his head. Rey didn’t move, didn’t make a sound. But she was still holding his hand, still had a hand on his face. “So…I called my mother. She used her contacts to get me in touch with the right people, helped me report it so I could stop him. I…should be in jail but there was a plea deal.

“No one would hire me, understandably so. But I needed to do something to at least try and make up for what I’d done, so…”

“So, special projects?” He nodded, closing his eyes and leaning back against the headrest. “You…the things we’re working on…we’re fixing old First Order screw ups?” Her voice was shaky.

“Yeah, sometimes. And anything similar.” He made himself look at her again, wondering why she hadn’t pulled away, and was appalled at the tears streaming down her face. He tried to pull away, tried to let her go but she gasped, throwing her arms around him, telling him it was over now, and she wasn’t going anywhere, and insisting he was NOT a monster, just a man who made mistakes and tried to make them right.

And that was when he realized he was crying too.

She wouldn’t—couldn’t—let him leave. He protested, of course, but she didn’t give up, tugging him by the hand up the stairs and into her apartment. Rose was out with Snap, and at this point it was a given that she wouldn’t be back before morning. When she offered to order pizza or Chinese, he insisted he wasn’t hungry, but when she carried two sandwiches to the sofa, he didn’t refuse the one she handed him. She didn’t ask him about any of the things he’d told her. Truthfully, she’d known some of it from the internet search she and Rose did for pictures of him her second day. She had gone back and read a few of the articles later, awed and impressed that he had been strong enough to stand up to Snoke and his ilk. Ben had risked himself to put a stop to the unsafe practices at First Order, _and_ he’d taken several of the employees with him when he moved to SOS.

Snoke stood trial a year ago in November.

Right around the time Ben and Poe had reconnected.

They watched an old black and white horror movie and the third time Ben nodded off Rey took his keys, knowing his bag was still in his car from the trip. She’d called Maz already, telling her Mr. Solo was delayed and asking if he could pick up Deathstar in the morning. She’d considered having her just bring the cat upstairs, or running down to get her, but they’d dealt with enough rumors and misinformation at work already. Rey adored Maz, but the woman loved to gossip. So, morning.

Not that Rey harbored any illusions that Maz wouldn’t notice his car had been parked outside overnight and run with that information anyway…

Rey dragged Ben’s suitcase up the stairs and into her apartment, pausing at the picture he presented, hanging off her tiny sofa. She shook her head, slipping into her bedroom to change into a soft old t-shirt and flannel pajama pants before she woke him enough to tuck him into her bed, intending to spend the night in Rose’s room.

But when he sleepily asked her to stay, she couldn’t refuse.

At some point in the night he must have gotten up to change, because when her alarm went off in the morning, he was wearing pretty much the same thing she was, still fast asleep beside her, one arm flung over her waist.

For the second time, Rey had slept peacefully through the night.

Beside Ben Solo.

A coil of warmth unfurled in her belly.

Rey silenced the alarm and grabbed her work out clothes, needing a run to work out…excess energy. She stepped back out of the bathroom to find him sitting up in her bed, blinking blearily. He looked at her for a moment, watching as she dug her running shoes out of the closet. “I thought I was dreaming, waking up in this room again.”

“Again?”

“Ah, yeah…Poe and I lived here for about a year, before I cut him out of my life.” He looked down at his hands, folded over the faded quilt she used as a bedspread.

“So _that’s_ how you knew which window was mine when you dropped me off. Poe must have told you I lived in your old place.” He nodded, glancing up at her from under his hair.

“Rey?”

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“Um…thank you. For last night.” He ran a hand through his hair, finally pushing it back from his face, and Rey found herself completely fascinated by the way the muscles in his arms moved, and how the shirt was clinging to him.

Her mouth went dry and she couldn’t answer, just gave a jerky nod.

“Have dinner with me, tonight?”

Her mouth dropped open.

This was a mistake. Her bedroom at 5 AM was NOT the place to do this. He scrambled to recover. “I want…to thank you.”

Rey took a shaky breath. “You already did that. Just a moment ago.”

He shrugged, uncomfortable now. He’d messed this up again. “I just…feel like I should do more.”

“You don’t have to. It’s just what people do when they care…about their friends. You know, looking out for one another.”

_Friends._

That word was going to haunt him forever.

He had a moment to wonder if this was how Rey had felt after the holidays, when they had talked in his office.

But it couldn’t be. Because they were _friends_ and there was _nothing_ else between them.

“Oh, I um…I have something for you.” Rey opened the closet, raising up on her toes to reach for something on the back of the shelf and walking over to him with a package wrapped in red plaid paper and a green satin ribbon. “I, after Christmas, I wasn’t sure if I should…well, anyway, I’m sorry it’s late but, well, Happy Christmas.” She shifted uncomfortably as he looked back and forth between her and the package a few times before deftly untying the ribbon and placing it on her nightstand.

As she had expected, he was meticulous, opening only at the tape, taking great care not to tear the paper and then smoothing it a few times before folding it into a neat square and placing it by the ribbon. He gasped when he opened the plain white box, like the kind department store jewelry might come in, white cardboard with that cotton padding that could be added.

But what was in the box…he stared at Rey, praying she wouldn’t notice that his eyes were watering again.

“How?”

“Secondhand shops, and a lot of patience.” She was getting excited now, and she moved to perch on the bed beside him, animatedly explaining how she had bought three, using the two in the poorest shape for replacement parts, and restored it. “I…was I right, is it the real thing?”

He nodded mutely, finger tracing lightly over the engraved initials AS on the finial of the glossy black fountain pen. After a moment he nodded again. “Yeah. It’s…it’s a limited-edition TIE, designed exclusively for my grandfather. Uncle Luke said he called it the Silencer. I…God, I didn’t think any still _existed_.”

“Well, they don’t really, not in working order.” Rey swallowed nervously. “I, um, I had to update it some, use a modern converter to get it to work, so it’s not exactly the same.”

“Rey, this is _amazing._ I don’t…sometimes I don’t know how you’re even real.” He shook his head and Rey suddenly realized she was practically in his lap.

She jumped up like she’d been burned. “I, um, if I’m going to have time for a run, I need to go. Finn and Poe will be here. You should…you can go, if you need to go home and change. Just…uh…lock the door behind you, yeah?” And then she was gone.

She’d actually _fled_.

And it was clear he had overstayed his welcome. Ben groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Rey wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed Ben was gone when she got back. She thought maybe equal parts both. He’d backtracked but she was sure his impulsive seeming dinner invitation had been meant as a _date_.

And she’d ruined it.

She’d been so shocked at the very idea that Ben Solo could be remotely interested in her as anything other than a friend that she hadn’t answered quickly enough, and he’d taken it back.

Maybe.

Unless he hadn’t actually meant it that way.

Had he?

And then she’d stressed that they were _friends_ so if he had…well she had effectively shot him down.

It was _true,_ they _were_ friends.

But she wanted more.

Rey wanted _everything._

Maybe she should just attempt to seduce him.

Rey giggled at the idea, then shook her head. She needed to shower and dress for the day, not entertain school-girl fantasies about her boss. At this rate Finn and Poe would be waiting for her before she even got out of the shower, and then they would all be late.


	12. Sweethearts and 3 PM Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost Valentine's Day. Ben's being distant, Rey's spending lunches with Snap Wexley, and Bazine wants to have a chat with Rey.
> 
> _A small stack of folders dropped onto his desk. “Those are the three applicants I think are best suited to be your new assistant. It’s the same information I sent to your email, but I thought you might not have had time to go over it, and I know you prefer hard copies anyway. They’ve all completed the interview process so Amilyn just needs your approval and she can have one of them started by the middle of next week.” He nodded, flipping the top folder open, and finding a bright green sticky note on top proclaiming ‘pick this one’ in bright pink, glittery ink. He found himself smiling despite himself._
> 
> _“Totally random and unbiased order?”_
> 
> _“Of course, sir. I’m offended you even questioned my integrity.” She was grinning._
> 
> _Smiling the way she had at Wexley._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update today, but it insisted on ending where it did. These two...still not so good with communicating, but Baz is on a mission. Up soon will be Finn and Poe's wedding prep and ceremony, and that's another one I am looking forward to sharing with y'all. Sorry the updates are getting more sporadic. My work schedule is still all weird right now (and probably for the foreseeable future).

Despite running a few minutes behind, thus making Poe and Finn late as well, Rey still got into the office before Ben. The lights were off, coffee pot full (thank you automatic timer function) and untouched. She had just decided to call him when he rushed in, on the phone with someone, and whoever it was apparently had bad news if the cursing was anything to go by.

She shook her head and set about logging in to her computer for the day. She scrolled through her email, and his general office email, clearing junk and responding to the items she could help with while she waited for his call to end. When it was quiet, she knocked once on his door, more to let him know she was there than asking permission to enter, then walked in and gently closed the door behind her. He took the coffee cup she offered gratefully, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I’m going to have to go back to Oklahoma again.”

“Next week?”

“Tonight.”

“Oh.”

He finally opened his eyes, looking up at her. “Yeah.” There was something new in the way he looked at her, a softness he hadn’t allowed her to see before.

“Shall I start looking for flights?”

“In a bit. Can you…would you just sit in here with me for a few minutes?”

She fought the impulse to perch herself on his lap, instead hopping up onto the corner of his desk with a grin.

She got an almost-smile from him. “You can have a chair you know, or the sofa.” He still looked tired, but not as exhausted as the previous evening.

“This way I’m close enough to hear you and you don’t have to move.”

“Fair enough.” He watched her over the rim of his coffee cup as he sipped the steaming liquid. “What, no pastries today?” he said, and by now she knew when he was teasing her.

“Running behind today. No time to stop at the bakery.”

He cleared his throat and looked away. “About that…” Rey cringed, regretting bringing it up. “Rey, I…”

Why couldn’t he _talk_ to her?

They talked all the time, about almost everything. He was comfortable around her in ways he wasn’t even at ease with Poe. It didn’t make sense. He wanted to tell her how much it meant to him, that she’d listened. How he appreciated her taking care of him. How he wanted her to marry him and bear his children.

Wait, no, that was too much.

He didn’t even want that.

Did he?

Ben shook his head to clear the image of freckled faces with her eyes and smile and his hair grinning up at him. He put his coffee cup down and frowned down at his desk.

_His desk._

She was sitting on his desk.

_She’d been right there, on that very spot where his mug was currently resting. That very spot when he’d slipped his hand under her skirt and—_

He couldn’t stop the groan that forced its way out at the memory.

“Ben? Are you okay?” He felt the weight of her hand on his shoulder, heard her gasp when she realized where he was looking, what he must be remembering.

“Oh, God!” Rey practically launched herself off the corner of his desk. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think!” She was walking away, practically running.

Running from him

Again.

“I’ll get started on finding you a flight. I…yeah.” And then she was out the door.

Ben cursed and grabbed his coffee cup, draining the remaining contents before putting it back down harder than necessary. He leaned forward, elbows propped on the desk as he buried his face in his hands, fingers tugging at his hair.

Rey forwarded the flight confirmation to Ben, who would be leaving any moment to go home and pack, and grabbed her bag. Finn and Poe were both tied up in meetings during her lunch break, but she had agreed to meet Snap instead. He had joined them all a few times, and since he had been dating Rose, she’d come to consider him a true friend. He wasn’t Finn or Poe but who could be? And it would be far more pleasant than eating alone at one of her desks.

She knocked on Ben’s door, this time waiting for him to answer before she opened it and poked her head into his office. “I’m going to go grab lunch and then meet Poe for the rest of the day. We almost have the final specs for the Andor proposal done. Did you need anything before I go?” He shook his head and she ducked back out of his office before opening the door again. “Have a good weekend. See you next Thursday?”

“Yeah.”

_I’ll miss you Ben._

That was what she wanted, to tell him just how much she would miss him. Well, no, what she really wanted was to kiss him senseless and tell him she’d miss him _desperately._

But that wasn’t an option. She’d made him uncomfortable enough already, thoughtlessly plopping herself down on his desk when he was already having a bad enough day (week…month…year…).

Rey shook her head, angry with herself for not considering that she shouldn’t be sitting on his desk anyway. They were friends, yes, but that had been unprofessional.

She looked up when she heard someone calling her name and grinned when she saw Snap waiting for her by her new desk in the project engineering office. He was wearing the scarf Rose had given him for Christmas, a long, multi-colored thing that was ridiculous yet somehow suited him. She stowed her messenger bag, taking out her wallet. He was so excited he hugged her, and she gave him an awkward pat on the back before he released her.

“Sorry, Rose says I’m like an overly affectionate puppy. I just want you to know how grateful I am. Rose won’t let me take her out for Valentine’s but I want to do something to surprise her, maybe the middle of next week, before the actual day so she isn’t expecting it.”

“I think it’s wonderful, Snap! Rose deserves a little Valentine's romance, even if she is being stubborn about it.”

They walked out and headed for the elevator to the parking garage. Snap wanted to try a new restaurant he’d seen an ad for before he took Rose there on a date. Apparently, he’d had some bad experiences in the past with trying new places. Rey had readily agreed, especially when he offered to treat. As they left, he went on about his not-quite-Valentine’s plans for Rose. “I just want it to be perfect. I mean I know we haven’t been dating that long,” he said, gesturing for her to step out first and then escorting her to the car, still talking as he opened her door, “But Rose is amazing and I…well I just want her to know that.”

Rey laughed when he stopped and blushed. Taking mercy on him, she changed the subject to the menu as he backed out of his parking space.

Ben tossed his briefcase in the back and dropped heavily into the driver’s seat of his car. He had about 2 hours to get home and pack his suitcase—again—before he had to leave for the airport. He’d been about to call out to Rey, to properly tell her goodbye the way he should have when she ducked into his office, when he’d heard something that made his blood run cold.

_I know we haven’t been dating that long._

He’d thought…he didn’t know what he’d thought. He’d hoped, especially after the previous night and waking up in Rey’s bed in the morning that maybe…

But…Wexley?

Really?

He didn’t seem like Rey’s type.

Not that he knew what Rey’s type was.

Maybe Snap Wexley was exactly what she wanted. And in that case, he had to let her go. Snap was a good guy, he supposed.

Not a monster.

Not like he was.

Because no matter what Rey insisted, he knew the truth, knew the things he had done.

Rey deserved a nice, boring, non-monstrous good guy.

But still…Wexley? _Really_?

As it turned out, Ben didn’t come back until the following Friday, and he walked into the office to find Rey smiling brightly…at Snap fucking Wexley.

Ben brushed by them, letting himself into his office and maybe closing the door a little more firmly than necessary. He’d managed to get control by the time Rey knocked on his door and slipped into the room. He almost didn’t accept the coffee she held out to him, but…coffee…and Rey…it was coffee from Rey. And he was being a jerk.

A small stack of folders dropped onto his desk. “Those are the three applicants I think are best suited to be your new assistant. It’s the same information I sent to your email, but I thought you might not have had time to go over it, and I know you prefer hard copies anyway. They’ve all completed the interview process so Amilyn just needs your approval and she can have one of them started by the middle of next week.” He nodded, flipping the top folder open, and finding a bright green sticky note on top proclaiming ‘pick this one’ in bright pink, glittery ink. He found himself smiling despite himself.

“Totally random and unbiased order?”

“Of course, sir. I’m offended you even questioned my integrity.” She was grinning.

Smiling the way she had at Wexley.

Damn it.

Ben shook his head, cringing at the pain crawling up his neck where it radiated from his shoulder. “Will you call Bazine, see if she’s free this afternoon? The usual time.”

Rey froze, nodded once, her face tightening as she straightened her spine. “Of course, sir. Anything else?”

She was gone before he could answer.

“Huh, wonder what that was about?” He muttered to himself, attention back on the stack of folders, absently rubbing at his shoulder.

Baz was going to give him shit about those stupid stretches again.

Rey made the call, immensely relieved to get voicemail. She left a message with Ben’s request, also requesting that _Ms. Netal please confirm directly with Mr. Solo_. Then she hung up and glared at her desk phone for a good five minutes.

She’d thought they’d made progress. He’d finally trusted her enough to talk about his past. He’d spent the night in her _bed_ , and he’d asked her to stay with him.

True, he’d been oddly distant the last week or so, but he’d been traveling and she’d thought the stress of that and the fact that he was around strangers (well, almost strangers) was the reason he was strangely formal via phone and text. Rey shook her head, packing her things up to meet Finn, Poe, and Snap for lunch and then spend the afternoon in project engineering. She could hear Ben talking to someone through the door, so instead of actually telling him she was heading out she decided she would send a text.

After all, it wasn’t like he couldn’t contact her or come find her if necessary.

He didn’t.

She was, however, utterly shocked when Bazine Netal _did_.

Poe was in a meeting with accounting, working out some budget details for their upcoming projects, Dorothy had gone home early, and the other project engineers were all wrapped up in their own work. Rey had taken the opportunity to take a quick break to stretch her legs and grab some tea from the 3rd floor break room, and she nearly turned back around and fled when she saw the woman waiting by her desk in the project engineering office.

But Bazine Netal had seen her and was currently waving at her with a wide smile. As she moved her arm Rey caught a flash of light from something on her hand.

Her left hand.

Rey felt a little sick when she realized it was an engagement ring. A large, expensive one, with an oval shaped, yellow diamond in the center and surrounded by smaller white stones. Had Ben…but no, that didn’t make sense.

Did it?

He _had_ been distancing himself. And he’d maintained his regular “appointments” each week, as well as taking Bazine along to several events as his plus one.

Rey forced down a sip of her tea as she slowly approached the other woman. “Ms. Netal. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Can we talk? Privately? I have some things I need to say to you.”

Rey felt a sinking feeling but nodded, gesturing to the project engineering exit. “I believe there’s a conference room free down the hall.”

Bazine nodded. “OK, sounds fine. Lead the way.”

Rey was dizzy by the time they made the short trek down the hallway and settled themselves into the small meeting room. She didn’t know what to say and she fidgeted uncomfortably.

Fortunately, Bazine had no such issues. Almost as soon as she sat down, she was speaking. “The first thing I need to do is apologize to you, Rey. I’ve been doing things that…well, really, I’ve been messing with you and I’m sorry. I need you to know there is absolutely _nothing_ going on between me and Ben Solo.”

Rey blinked, unsure what she’d just heard.

“He’s a friend, has been for a long time. He introduced me to my fiancée, Gwen.” She pulled out her phone, showing Rey the picture on the lock screen, a selfie of Bazine and a rather stunning blonde woman. “They worked together…at First Order.”

Rey didn’t speak, just continued to stare and Bazine continued. “Ben Solo is an idiot. I’ve told him so over and over again. Anyway, I saw the way you looked at me when I left his office the first few weeks. I’ve seen the way he looks when he talks about you—and believe me, he _does_ talk about you. But since he won’t make a move, I thought maybe if you had a little competition, got a little jealous, well I was hoping maybe you’d do something. Flirt or ask him out. Something.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

Bazine leaned forward, patting Rey on the back of the hand. “Rey, I’m a massage therapist, and I’m working on finishing up school to become a physical therapist. Ben Solo pays me a lot of money to come here every week for a deep tissue massage because he’s ‘too busy’ to actually make appointments and keep them if he has to actually go to them.”

Rey blinked again.

“You don’t even know about his injury, do you?”

Rey shook her head and Bazine sat back in her chair, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. “See, he’s an idiot. I don’t know all the details and if I did I probably wouldn’t tell you, that should come from him, but he hurt his back and shoulder, badly, a while back, and it causes him a lot of pain, especially since he won’t keep up with the stretches and exercises his doctor and physical therapist gave him. Deep tissue massage helps, and he’s been a good enough friend I agreed to help him out, even though I don’t make house calls…office calls, whatever.”

Rey was…completely overwhelmed by the flood of new information the other woman was sending her way.

“Anyway, back to what I started off saying. I am _really_ sorry for any hurt or distress I caused you. When you started making sure to be out of the office when I left every week, I knew I’d messed up, misread just how serious things are on your side,” Rey opened her mouth to protest and Bazine quelled it with a look that made Rey flush and stare down at her hands. “Rey, when you left that message today, asking me to confirm with him directly, your voice was so…”

She trailed off and shook her head before speaking again, voice soft. “I realize what I’ve done was very hurtful, and I will always regret that. I just want to see Ben happy. And I think, maybe, you could make that happen.” Bazine stood up, picking up a stylish designer handbag. “So, I know I’ve dropped a ton of information on you, and I’m guessing you might need some time to process it all, and I need to get up to the 14th floor before Ben gets any grumpier.

Rey nodded, still unable to speak. She stayed in the small conference room for quite a while after Bazine left with a cheery wave. She thought she’d gotten control before she returned to her desk, but Poe glanced up at her and was instantly out of his chair.

“Rey, what’s wrong?” She just shook her head, forcing a weak smile. She only had an hour left in her day, and it was Friday. After 15 minutes of Rey being unwilling or unable to tell him anything, Poe insisted she leave early, ordering a ride share for her and walking her to the main exit. He made it clear he was concerned, but he didn’t push, and it was one of the reasons she adored him. Poe usually knew when to push and when to let things go, and when he didn’t, Finn did. It was one of the things that made them work so well.

She let him give her a hug and promised to call him if she decided she needed to talk over the weekend, and then she let him open the door for her as she climbed into the car he’d summoned (and paid for—she’d have to yell at him about that later).

Rey was avoiding him.

She’d left early on Friday. Poe had claimed she wasn’t feeling well.

On Saturday she skipped her kickboxing class. Ben knew because he had been there, spending 2 hours with the kids—all 10 and under—working on stances and punches and (though he wasn’t ready to admit it) having the most fun he’d had in ages. Well, the most fun with people who weren't Rey.

He tried calling her after, thinking maybe he could drop off some soup or something if she were still under the weather. She didn’t answer.

She didn’t reply to his text message, either, or the one (okay, 3) after that.

Then he saw Snap Wexley’s car parked outside her building when he passed by on the way home.

So he waited for Monday morning, thinking he could talk to her when she was going over the day’s schedule with him, but his new assistant was there to begin training with her and she studiously avoided anything that wasn’t directly project or training related.

Tuesday his mother summoned him to an “emergency” executive board meeting which ended up running through lunch, and Rey was already engrossed in a video conference with Poe and Cassian Andor by the time he got out.

Wednesday his new assistant, Craig, had an appointment he’d disclosed the day he interviewed for the job. So that was it, that was his chance. Then he stepped into the office to find her deep in conversation with Wexley again, who was placing small arrangement of flowers on her desk with a red bow and card. Ben went straight into his office and didn’t come back out until she was gone to lunch and project engineering for the day.

The flowers were still on the desk and he glared at them for a moment, indulging in a momentary fantasy of throwing them at the wall and watching the vase shatter, the entire arrangement exploding in a shower of glass, water, and shredded petals.

He didn’t do it, though, and he decided that showed tremendous personal growth.

Just after 2 he heard someone in the outer office and stepped out to see who it was, only to be greeted by Rey, one hand poised to knock on his door, the other balancing a carefully wrapped plate of heart shaped sugar cookies covered in pink icing. “Oh, hi! Rose brought these by for you! She’s been baking like crazy this week.” She handed him the plate, turning to the desk and grabbing the flowers. “Sorry, I have to run, I forgot her flowers up here and Poe’s keeping her distracted so I can get them. Snap will kill me if Rose doesn’t get these before their date tonight!”

“Rose…and Snap? Wexley?” He blinked a few times, brain unable to process the information.

Rey turned, smiling. “Yeah! They’re adorable! They’ve been officially dating since New Year’s. She won’t let him take her out on Valentine’s Day because it’s only been a few weeks, so he’s taking her out tonight. This great little restaurant he asked me to help him check out a couple weeks ago, see if I thought she would like it. Oh, hey, it’s not far from here, and I think you’d like it too. Maybe you and I can go tomorrow if you don’t already have a lunch meeting?”

“Um…sure?”

“Okay, great! Enjoy your cookies!” And then she was gone, practically running to catch the elevator as he stared down at the plate in his hand, what he knew was a dumb looking grin plastered on his face.


	13. Near Miss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben asks Rey to come with him to Bazine's wedding, but things don't go according to plan.
> 
> _“Rey? Rey are you okay?”_
> 
> _Rey sat on the floor of the dressing room, happy the door went all the way down to the floor. The dress was bunched around her waist and her elbow throbbed where she had stumbled and hit it against the mirror before twisting her ankle and sitting (falling) down, hard._
> 
> _“I…fine, I think. I may have just sprained my ankle again when I fell trying to get out of this damnable dress,” she said, wincing as she tentatively flexed her foot, turning it this way and that. He made a choked sound and she realized he was laughing at her._
> 
> _“You…Rey did you just…Rey, are you telling me…you just fell over and sprained your ankle…trying to get undressed?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO sorry for the unusual delay in updates. My husband started reading this (love you, honey) and my progress just...stalled completely. Who knew a supportive spouse could bring about my writer's block?
> 
> In apology, this chapter is a little longer than I had originally planned (like about 1,000 words) and I am working on putting together the original smutty one-shot that this story almost was, so watch for that to be added to Upside Down, Inside Out sometime soon.
> 
> Also, seriously y'all, see the chapter title. Progress will be slowed by setbacks. This is our pattern...at least until after Finn and Poe's wedding...

They never did manage lunch. Things fell apart in Oklahoma again, and Ben and Poe were both gone for nearly 3 weeks, trying to handle things on site.

Poe flew back with 12 days before his wedding to Finn. Ben was scheduled back on a Thursday red eye, if he could get away, so he could attend Bazine’s wedding, and then he would be gone again, hopefully wrapping everything up before Finn and Poe’s wedding festivities started.

He was also stuck with Mitaka as a replacement for Poe, which meant the was having Rey double and triple check EVERYTHING. It was almost frustrating that Mitaka didn’t screw anything up this time.

Rey sighed as she closed the latest email attachment and replied that everything looked good, copying Craig and Poe on the message just in case of any mishaps.

Ben’s new assistant was exactly as good as Rey had hoped, and she was grateful again that she had gone with her gut in recommending him. She suspected he was still at least intimidated by the taller man, but he didn’t let it show and he didn’t take any shit. Even Ben had grudgingly admitted Craig was doing a good job (well, he admitted it to Rey…the best Craig had gotten was an “acceptable” and a distinct lack of being yelled at or hung up on when he had to deliver less-than-favorable news).

Rey had been able to fully move into her Project Engineering position and she quickly found herself nearly overwhelmed as the Oklahoma issues had meant she suddenly became acting lead on everything she was supposed to be co-managing with Poe. With Poe back (albeit temporarily) she had a little more breathing room, but she was still stressing and feeling behind. After waking up at 4 AM (for the third time that night) she gave up and got out of bed. She felt so rotten she actually skipped her run, opting instead for an extra-long shower and extra strong coffee, before ordering a ride share and getting to her desk at 6:15, determined to catch up (possibly even get ahead) before the end of the day—barring any new disasters, of course.

She paused before sitting down, staring at her desk in confusion and wondering if she was hallucinating. She reached out, softly stroking the petals of one of three red rosebuds in the floral arrangement that also included pink and white carnations and an absolutely gorgeous stargazer lily. There was no card, but she suspected she knew who they were from, considering it was a larger version of the same arrangement she, Dorothy, Maz, and Leia had received for Valentine’s Day. She almost missed the package, tucked in close to the bottom of the vase. It was neatly wrapped in red paper, a solid black satin ribbon expertly tied in a perfectly centered bow. Her fingers trembled as she slid the ribbon off, plucked at the paper until she revealed the box. She flipped the lid up and gasped.

“It’s always been yours.”

Rey spun around, startled, her mouth curling into a smile. “Ben!”

He was leaning against the first cubicle, the one that used to be Poe’s before he moved into the department head’s office (and where he still worked half the time), hands in his pockets and a tired smile of his own, just for her. “I, um, may have asked security to call me when you came in.”

She smiled at the light pink tinge creeping up his neck. “Would you?” she asked, holding out the box.

He nodded, stepping forward and taking the box from her, removing the necklace as she turned around, lifting her hair off her neck. Unlike the first time, the night she’d agreed to being his plus one on her second day of work, he didn’t bother trying not to touch her, and she shivered as his fingers brushed the back of her neck, breath catching as his hands brushed over her shoulders, and the single pearl settled in the hollow of her throat, cool against her skin.

“You cut your hair,” he observed.

She shrugged. “It was getting heavy.”

“I like it.”

She turned around, looking up at him. “What…” Rey shook her head, unsure what she was even asking.

He shifted uncomfortably. “I meant to…that was supposed to be your Christmas present.” He didn’t say anything else, and it was her turn to look away. “And the flowers…I should have done that the day you fully moved down here but then fucking Oklahoma…”

He was running a hand through his hair when she looked back up. “Anyway, what I really came down here for…I wanted to see if you had plans tomorrow.”

She blinked up at him. “Tomorrow? Plans?”

“Uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat. “Baz and Phas are getting married, and I…”

She took pity on him, ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut as she gave him an out, asking “And you need a plus one?”

Ben shifted, squaring his shoulders as he straightened to his full height and looked her in the eye. “No. I don’t need a plus one, Rey. I need a _date_. I need _you_ there, on my arm, as my _date_.” He looked away, adding, “If you…that is, if you _want_ to.”

“Yes.”

His head swiveled back to her, his expression shocked. “Yes?”

Rey couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Yes, Ben. I would love to go with you, as your _date_ ,” she said, putting the same emphasis on the word as he had.

His smile this time was the one she had only seen a few times, the one that made his eyes crinkle and lit up his entire face, so he almost looked like a different person. He let out his breath in a rush, slumping a bit as he shook his head. “Okay then, okay…”

Rey wasn’t sure if he even realized he was speaking. “What time should I be ready?”

“I, uh…honestly I forget, I don’t think I expected you to say yes.”

“Well, I did.”

“Yeah,” he said softly, shifting almost imperceptibly closer as he leaned down. Rey felt her eyes flutter as she tilted her chin the slightest bit toward him.

They sprang apart when the door swung open with a crash and Poe hurried in, juggling an armful of files and his briefcase. Seeing them, he lost his hold on the files and papers fluttered around him in a wide circle as he stared at Ben and Rey. “SHIT!” He looked at the papers on the floor. Poe’s briefcase hit the floor with a thump, and he cursed again.

Ben cleared his throat and took another step away from Rey. “Dameron.”

“Solo.” Poe narrowed his eyes but didn’t actually make whatever comment was on the tip of his tongue. The three of them picked up the papers and Ben took the opportunity to excuse himself, muttering about a shower and conference calls.

Rey watched him go and then turned back to Poe, finding him studying her carefully form where he still knelt on the floor. “Why was he so happy?” Poe asked as he stood back up.

Rey felt herself flush. “We um, we have a date. Tomorrow.”

Poe fell back down, sitting on the floor and staring up at her with wide eyes. “Are you serious? Finally? You better not be messing with me, Jackson!”

“I’m not, I swear I’m not, Poe. He asked me to Bazine Netal’s wedding. As his _date_. He was very clear on that point.”

“FUCKING FINALLY!” Poe got to his feet, grabbing Rey around the waist to pick her up and spinning in a circle before setting her back on her feet. He pulled out his phone, typing a series of messages with a grin that suggested he was being very inappropriate.

“Poe, I think you may be overreacting a bit. It’s just one date.”

“Okay, okay, sorry I just…you two have been dancing around each other for _months_.” He paused, gathering his briefcase and files again. “Get to work Jackson, you have to go shopping after work, so you need to be done early. I can’t believe he waited so long…oh, this is so last minute. There’s so much—”

Rey’s face crinkled in confusion as she cut him off. “Shopping? Why would I leave early to go shopping?”

“Rey, oh my sweet, innocent little Rey! You need a dress. Oh, and shoes, and probably a bag and a wrap or sweater of some sort, and…” He looked at her face, laughing as she paled. “Oh, didn’t think of that, did you?” She shook her head. Poe sighed. “I’m sure it will be fine. Go text Ben, ask him how formal it will be—I’m betting black tie—and I’ll pre-order a lunch delivery so we can work through and get you out of here early.”

Rey turned, dragging her feet at the overwhelming prospect of shopping for formal wear after work when she was already so exhausted she could cry. Her phone vibrated on the desk as she crossed back to her cubicle and she grinned as she saw Ben had already made sure to send her times. She started typing a question about dress when another message popped up, apologizing for the last minute and telling her the wedding was black tie and asking if she would be able to get a dress in time.

She thought he was giving _her_ an out, now, offering an excuse to back out under the pretense of not having anything to wear. She grinned as she let him know Poe was already on it, arranging for her to leave early.

She switched her mobile from vibrate to silent and slid it to the corner of her desk so she could focus on actual work, promising herself she would work for at least an hour before checking it again.

She made it thirty minutes.

_She said yes._

_To a date._

_With him._

_Tomorrow._

_Oh, God..._

Ben was panicking by the time he reached his office. What had he just done?

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he swallowed, almost afraid to check the incoming text message. What if it was from Rey? What if she wanted to take it back and cancel?

He took a deep breath. It was just his anxiety talking. Rey had shown him over and over again that she wasn’t going anywhere. He pulled the device from his pocket and glanced at the screen.

Dameron.

There was a comment about how long he’d been waiting for Ben to man up, a series of increasingly confusing (and knowing Poe, extremely pornographically suggestive) emojis, and then a completely unrelated question about the Oklahoma project.

Ben shook his head and sat heavily in his desk chair, logging in to his calendar to pull up the wedding details and get Rey a time. He nearly panicked again when he realized she probably needed to buy a dress.

Was that something he could take care of?

Honestly, yes, but knowing Rey she wouldn’t let him.

He hurriedly typed out a message, then hovered over send, reading back over it six times. She might want to back out. She might use not having the appropriate attire as an excuse. He thought about not mentioning it, but that wasn’t fair to Rey. He hit send before he could second guess himself again.

It was ten minutes before she replied that Poe was already arranging for her to leave early.

Ben shook his head. There was a time in his life he would never have believed he would be thankful for Poe Dameron. Fortunately, Poe was always a better friend than Ben had been.

He sent another hasty message to Rey then put his phone away. He needed to focus. He had approximately 36 hours before what he hoped would be his final trip to Oklahoma, at least for this project, and he hoped to spend at least a few of those hours with Rey, and for once NOT be working while he did.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, Rey and Poe spending most of their time in his office or, when they needed more space, one of the conference rooms. He practically shoved her out the door at 3:30, and Rey was fairly certain no one had ever been more excited about a first date—someone else’s or their own—than Poe.

She’d contacted Paige before leaving, relieved to find she was working and didn’t expect it to be terribly busy until after five or six. Rey was making decent money, having received a significant pay increase with her job change (not that she hadn’t been compensated more than fairly before), but she still couldn’t bring herself to pay as much for a dress as she maybe should for a black tie evening wedding.

And what kind of dress was she even supposed to be looking for?

For a wedding?

Their first, official date was to a wedding…

A wedding where she wouldn’t really know anyone…and they would all know Ben…and probably that she had been his assistant and wasn’t ever going to be good enough for him…

Rey’s fingers were trembling, breath picking up speed.

That was a lot of pressure for a first date. Wasn’t it?

But it was _Ben_ and it wasn’t like she didn’t know him. They were comfortable with one another, _liked_ one another. It was going to be _fine_.

She managed to calm herself by the time the driver dropped her off. Paige waived from her place by the register when Rey walked in and as Paige had expected, it wasn’t busy. There were two other customers in the store, browsing the clearance racks and talking to one another. It was warm in the store and Rey shrugged out of her coat. It was nearly spring, and the weather was warming a bit, but it was still definitely coat weather most days. Paige offered to store it behind the register while Rey shopped and she held it out to the other woman, gratefully.

“Hey, I know this coat! We sell this one, it’s a brand exclusive to the store!”

“I’m not surprised,” Rey said.

“Oh, wait, is this the one your boss or boss’s boss or whoever got you? Rose said the CEO of the company sent it to you.” Rey nodded and Paige smiled. “I think I sold it to them!” She stepped around the register, guiding Rey to the other side of the store as another sales associate traded places with Paige. “Kind of short, older woman, and a super tall, grumpy guy? I figured her son or something?”

Rey froze, blinking at Paige. The other woman didn’t seem to notice, walking in front of Rey and pausing to grab a few things as she spoke. “Anyway, he picked out the coat and stomped out to get the car. She was laughing the whole time I rang her up about how much he hated shopping, but she’d tricked him into coming along that day and spent the entire morning dragging him from store to store. And I offered to wrap it here, but she said no, she was going to make him do that too.”

Rey stumbled, bumping into a mannequin in a hideous sequined top and black pants. It wobbled dangerously but didn’t fall. Fortunately, neither did Rey. “He’s got good taste. It’s the one Rose and I had planned on getting you for Christmas if you still needed a coat.” Paige grabbed one more dress and turned to face Rey, still talking. “Now, I think maybe you should start with these, but if there’s anything else you see…Rey? Are you okay?”

Rey licked her lips and nodded, blinking a few times and shaking her head. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She offered a weak smile. “Just a little tired. Long day.” Paige didn’t seem to accept the excuse, but she didn’t press for any details or alternate answers.

“Are you not sleeping, again?” The genuine concern in Paige’s tone made tears prick at Rey’s eyes. Sometimes it still caught her by surprise, that other people cared.

She shook her head. “It’s less frequent, now,” she said, and Paige accepted that as a polite ‘ _I don’t want to talk about it,’_ deftly unlocking a dressing room and hanging the dresses on the hook.

“Try them all, but I think the blue or the purple,” she said, stepping back. “I’ll stay out here, if you need help.”

Paige was right, the blue and the purple were both amazing. Simple, feminine, and seemingly designed just for Rey’s frame. The blue was longer, and she thought that might be more appropriate, but something kept drawing her back to the purple, even though it was the more expensive of the two. She was pulled out of her mental debate of the merits of each dress by a familiar ringtone. She scrambled for the accept call button, answering with a playful, “You better not be calling to cancel on me, Mr. Solo.”

His only response was a groan and a thump. Did he just...? “Ben? Ben, did you just hit your head on the desk?”

“Yes.” His voice was muffled.

“You _are_ calling to cancel, aren’t you?” She didn’t want to think too hard about just how upsetting that was.

“I…Rey, I’m sorry. I…fucking Oklahoma…I have to fly back in the morning. One of the new contractors that was supposed to take over the project fell through this afternoon and our workload just doubled. If I can’t figure something out, renegotiate somehow, we’ll lose all progress, and the school won’t be able to reopen. It won’t be _safe_.”

“Oh… I see.” She did. It was all too close to what Snoke had tried to talk him into, the final straw that he left First Order over. She paused, forcing a smile onto her lips in hopes she might sound cheerful. “Well, it’s fortunate I’m indecisive. I haven’t actually purchased a dress yet.” She looked at her reflection, sliding one hand down the smooth fabric of the purple dress with a soft sigh. It really was an amazing dress.

He sighed, and she was fairly certain he was scrubbing his hands over his face. “Rey, I didn’t…I want…” he trailed off, sounding miserable. “I’d much rather spend the evening tomorrow with you than Mitaka.”

Rey snorted. “Flattering. You DO have a way with words, Ben Solo.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” she said softly. “I do understand. It’s just disappointing.”

His breath caught, like he was surprised by the level of regret coloring her words. They both went quiet for a moment. “Yeah. Disappointing.”

Rey noticed Paige trying to get her attention, gesturing to the main sales floor, where it was beginning to get busy. Rey waved her on and ducked back into the dressing room, attempting to wriggle out of the dress and still hold her phone (she REALLY should have bought a new earpiece by now). “Ben, I…OW! SHIT! OH BLOODY, FUCKING HELL!”

“Rey? Rey are you okay?”

Rey sat on the floor of the dressing room, happy the door went all the way down to the floor. The dress was bunched around her waist and her elbow throbbed where she had stumbled and hit it against the mirror before twisting her ankle and sitting (falling) down, hard.

“I…fine, I think. I may have just sprained my ankle again when I fell trying to get out of this damnable dress,” she said, wincing as she tentatively flexed her foot, turning it this way and that. He made a choked sound and she realized he was _laughing_ at her.

“You…Rey did you just…Rey, are you telling me…you just fell over and sprained your ankle…trying to get undressed?”

He stopped even attempting to hold back his laughter and Rey ended up chuckling a bit herself, just hearing him. Once they both calmed, she gingerly got back to her feet. As long as she didn’t try to put too much weight on her ankle it wasn’t so bad. “I am going to put you down for a moment. Don’t you dare hang up on me.” Rey managed to wiggle out of the dress, relieved to find it wrinkled but undamaged. It was one thing to buy it for a date, but she really didn’t want to have to pay for it because she tore it being clumsy. She gathered her things, letting Ben know she could hear him again. She was fine until she tried to actually walk, a yelp escaping her despite her attempts to hold it back.

“Rey, find a place to sit down, prop your foot up if you can. I’ll come get you.” Her first impulse was to argue but the throb from her ankle and the wave of exhaustion that washed over her convinced her otherwise and she found herself agreeing. “I’m leaving right now, just tell me where you are.”

Ben called Bazine from the car, bracing himself. He suspected canceling on Rey had been more pleasant than telling Baz that he wasn’t coming to her wedding after all was going to be. Maybe starting with good news would soften the blow…

She was thrilled he’d ‘finally manned up and asked Rey’ to come as his date (as she had been insisting he should for weeks).

She lectured him for waiting until the last minute, pointing out that wasn’t fair to Rey.

When he told her he couldn’t make the wedding she unleashed an impressively creative stream of profanity that was, Ben thought, possibly both better and worse than anything he had ever managed. Of course the cursing had less to do with being upset he wasn’t coming (she was, there was no doubt, but there was a reason he wasn’t actually in the wedding party), and more about apparently having lost a bet with Phasma about whether he would cancel the night before or the day of.

By the time she bid him goodbye with an affectionate “You owe us an extremely expensive gift for this, fucker, in addition to the one you already sent,” echoing over the car’s sound system, he was looking for a parking space. He winced as he closed the door and realized just how far away he’d had to park. If Rey were as injured as she had sounded (and the fact that she had agreed to let him come get her suggested she might be) there was no way she would make it that far.

Rey waited in a chair near the fitting rooms, wondering why exactly she had agreed to let Ben come and get her, and trying to deny that it was just because she wanted to see him and have him take care of her. Paige and her store manager had both offered to call for an ambulance, and when Rey had refused, insisting it was just a sprain, had wanted to at least call security to file an incident report “just in case,” and have them take her to the closest urgent care clinic. Rey had declined that as well, knowing they had to offer for liability reasons, but Rey knew this was all her fault.

Despite being seated and at the back of the store, Rey saw Ben as soon as he walked in, and for once she just enjoyed watching him move without telling herself she shouldn’t. She knew the moment he spotted her and she waved, surprised at how relieved she was to see him. He made a beeline for her, completely oblivious to the looks he was getting from the other women in the store, and squatted down beside her chair. “It doesn’t look as bad as last time.”

“Hm? Oh, no, not as bad.” Rey shook her head, mentally berating herself for getting lost in noticing how his pants hugged his thighs when he knelt by her. “There was a customer earlier, a nurse, she said it’s probably mild, and I should ice it and take ibuprofen.”

“Well, we should probably do that, then. Do you think you can walk if I help you?”

“I can try.”

“Okay, that’s a no then.”

She glared at him, mouth open to protest, but then her ankle gave a throb and she sighed. “No. I can’t walk on it right now.” He thought for a moment, nodded his head, and walked over to Paige at the register. Paige made a phone call and nodded at him and then he turned and walked back over to Rey.

“I’m going to go move my car, security is going to let me leave it in the loading zone long enough to get you outside. I’ll be right back.” She nodded, fighting a yawn. It couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes (if that) before Ben was back, and it caused a bit of a scene when she tried to stand up, yelped when her ankle wouldn’t hold her, and he swept her up into his arms. She tried to argue and he grinned at her. “You can let me carry you or you can let someone find a wheelchair...however long that might take. Your choice.” She grumbled a bit and allowed him to carry her out of the store, thankful it was at the front of the shopping center. She didn’t miss the look on Paige’s face—or the fact that she had her phone out. Rose had called twice by the time they reached the car. And then Finn called. Then Poe sent a string of pornographic suggestions of ways Ben could help _elevate_ her foot and a picture of an ACTUAL eggplant via text.

As they waited for the left turn arrow to exit the shopping center, Ben cleared his throat and glanced over. “So. You can’t exactly climb stairs like this.” Rey groaned. She hadn’t even thought of that. “You know you can stay with me—in the _guest room_. I have to leave before 5 for the airport anyway. And you could, maybe, take care of Deathstar while I’m gone this time.”

“She’s not still with Maz from the last trip?”

“Ah no, Maz and Chewie left yesterday for some kind of anniversary trip. They dropped the cat off on the way out of town. Poe was going to come feed her but…well, if you want to help out, I doubt he’d be upset about it. Especially with the wedding only a week away.”

Rey studied him as he drove, not missing the faint flush on his cheeks. “I suppose that could work…but I’ll need to consider it over food.”

“Are you trying to get me to buy you dinner?”

“Well of course I am. Isn’t it obvious?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Text Rose, see if she’ll pack a bag for you, since you’re an invalid.”

As she started tapping out a message in response to the seven Rose had sent, it occurred to Rey that this night could possibly be counted as the weirdest first date in history…although that was perfectly on brand for them at this point.


	14. Well-Rehearsed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week leading up to Finn and Poe's wedding is exhausting.
> 
> _Rey overslept on Wednesday, waking up to what was apparently a third call from Poe. She managed to croak out a weak hello to which he responded with a cheerful, “You sound awful.”_
> 
> _Rey sat up with a groan, pushing her hair back from her face and absently petting Deathstar as the feline meowed plaintively at being disturbed from her place against Rey’s head and then settled again in Rey’s lap._
> 
> _“Rey, why didn’t you tell me how many hours you’ve been putting in this week—hell, this month?”_
> 
> _Rey sighed. Of course he knew. It had only been a matter of time. “Who told you, Poe?”_
> 
> _“Ben. Ripped me a new one for not catching it myself, too. At least he knew better than to think I was making you work over.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a BEAST to write. Y'all, I majorly wrote myself into a corner with the last couple of chapters and had to find a way out. I still haven't figured out how to work in one specific scene that I REALLY want to include but I may have an idea.
> 
> I am so sorry for the wait, and thank you to those of you who are still sticking with this story. I had intended to have the rehearsal and the wedding as one chapter but that would have been massive.

Dancing lessons.

Poe and Finn had decided the entire wedding party needed dancing lessons.

A WEEK before the wedding.

Ben was in Oklahoma, but as Poe pointed out, _he_ already knew how to waltz while the rest of them could barely walk on a good day. So, on top of everything else she was juggling, Rey was also now expected to rush out of the office, head across town for the lessons, and learn how to dance with a partner, while she had no _actual_ partner.

Because Ben was in Oklahoma.

Again.

So, Rey was left with the instructor…which was _fine_.

Really it was. She was a lovely woman who maybe wore a little too much perfume and was maybe a little loud because she was hard of hearing. And maybe that meant she spent most of the two-hour lesson block shouting corrections and advice over Rey’s shoulder at the others while practically shoving Rey around the room.

Rey sighed and pushed open the heavy door, tiredly climbing the narrow stairs to the second-floor space. She could hear Poe and Finn (her ankle gave an unhappy throb and once again she had to wonder why she had turned them down when they offered her a ride, even if she _did_ have another hour of work to complete when they left) and Rose and Snap.

And one more familiar voice that she couldn’t quite place.

Rey blinked in surprise when she reached the top of the narrow stairway and turned the corner to find Han Solo standing with the others. “Hey kid!”

“Mr. Solo. What brings you to join us?”

“My wife says I need more lessons and my son says you need someone to practice with.”

Rey felt her lips quirk in a slight smile and nodded. “True.”

Han shrugged. “Not sure why they think this is the best plan. I hope you have steel-toed boots to change into.” He grinned when that coaxed a tired but genuine laugh from her.

It didn’t go badly at all. Han may have stepped on her toes once, but that was actually her fault for being off count and stepping forward when she was meant to go back. She thanked him profusely for coming to join them. He promised to be back the next evening and Rey left in a better mood than she had been since Ben left early Saturday morning.

She’d stayed at his apartment since he took her there Friday night. Her ankle had been supporting her well enough by Sunday that she could have gone home, but at his urging she had agreed to stay at least a couple more days.

So, she returned to Ben’s apartment, telling herself one more night wouldn’t hurt. After all, she had agreed to take care of the cat. But being completely honest with herself, she just liked being in his space. She continued to sleep in the guest room, not quite brave enough to climb into his massive bed, but she had absolutely taken advantage of the large shower in the master bath, and she was sorely tempted to try out the massive bathtub too.

Her mobile rang as she struggled to get the door open while juggling her messenger bag, her heels (she had changed into trainers after the dance lesson), and a small bag of just enough groceries to make herself a simple sandwich and salad for dinner, and lunch the following day. She didn’t even need to look to know it was Ben. He’d promised to call her every day and so far, he’d been able to do so, having an almost uncanny knack for catching her just as she reached his apartment. Deathstar mewled pitifully and wove her way between Rey’s ankles, demanding attention. Somehow Rey managed to drop her things on the kitchen island, hit accept call, and scoop up the cat for a brief cuddle all before the call rolled into voicemail.

They didn’t talk long, Rey needing dinner and Ben sounding like he was about to drop from exhaustion. Rey sighed as she disconnected and put her phone down. On Friday she had fallen asleep on his shoulder after broaching the subject of what they wanted from each other but before they actually got to really talk. She had managed to extricate a promise that he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, but she didn’t recall much else. She woke in the guest room sometime after Ben had left to find the cat curled on her pillow, against the top of her head, with only a faint, hazy memory of a whispered goodbye and what she was pretty sure was a dream of him kissing her forehead.

Their nightly phone calls had been more ‘I just need to hear your voice before I collapse for the night,’ than real conversations. She was glad for even that, but they both knew they needed to have a _real_ conversation about…whatever this was between them. Not that there was time with the last-minute wedding preparations and her resulting increased workload at the office. Rey was now in the habit of going in early and still putting in 10-hour workdays before leaving for dance lessons or whatever else Finn and Poe suddenly realized they needed and were panicked to have forgotten. Already, she and Rose had physically gone to the bakery and reconfirmed cake details, bought Finn new shoes (for the third time… _this_ month), and returned Poe’s tux for the correct color and fabric (salmon colored velvet with coral satin lapels was _not_ the look he was going for).

And it was only Tuesday night.

Finn had already started his vacation time and Poe was working a half day Wednesday (not that he was doing much other than vibrating in excitement).

Rey was actually _thrilled_ for them and so very excited to be a part of everything. But she was just. so. tired.

She probably should have rested Saturday and Sunday instead of going into the office for a few hours each day. She hadn’t told Ben (or Poe for that matter) that she’d worked through the weekend, or that she was overwhelmed enough to need to.

She could do this. A few more days, and then Poe and Finn would be married, and this would all be worth it.

Rey overslept on Wednesday, waking up to what was apparently a third call from Poe. She managed to croak out a weak hello to which he responded with a cheerful, “You sound awful.”

Rey sat up with a groan, pushing her hair back from her face and absently petting Deathstar as the feline meowed plaintively at being disturbed from her place against Rey’s head and then settled again in Rey’s lap.

“Rey, why didn’t you tell me how many hours you’ve been putting in this week—hell, this month?”

Rey sighed. Of course he knew. It had only been a matter of time. “Who told you, Poe?”

“Ben. Ripped me a new one for not catching it myself, too. At least he knew better than to think I was _making_ you work over.”

Rey blinked. “How does he know? He’s not even in the state right now.”

“Something about key access and system log in time stamps, from the records for budget and payroll.” Rey leaned back against the headboard, unable to contain a yawn as Poe continued, his voice softer now. “Rey, if you’re this overworked you need to tell me. The fact that I let it happen, never mind that I _didn’t even know,_ makes me a sucky manager and an even worse friend.”

Rey closed her eyes, feeling guilty that she couldn’t handle her job.

“Rey, sweetie, you’ve been doing the work of at least three people. It’s okay to ask for help. Or, you know, to say no when we try to add too much to your plate.”

“Poe…” she sighed, not even sure what she wanted to say.

“Are you still staying at Ben’s place with the cat? Thanks for that by the way, huge help this week.”

“Yes, but I will probably go home tomorrow.”

“Whatever you want, babe, just…work from there today, okay? He has a secure VPN set up and I’m texting him now to send you whatever log in info you might need. Once you get that, Finn can help if you have any trouble getting connected. You can put your feet up, wear yoga pants, whatever. Go shower and eat something and be ready for the Andor conference in…shit, an hour I guess.”

It was a testament to how very weary she was that Rey didn’t even attempt to argue with him. It was like Friday night with Ben and her ankle all over again. She just didn’t have the energy or will to fight it. At least not without more sleep.

After the Andor conference, Poe ended up ordering Rey to take the rest of the day off and insisting he would work the rest of the day rather than leaving early as planned. Then he locked her out of the company systems to make sure she couldn’t work. He even blocked her access to her company email account. It was frustrating and infuriating and also in her list of nicest things someone had ever done for her. Rey took a hot bath and a nap and was actually feeling refreshed when (at her insistence that she was fine to go) Finn and Poe picked her up for the night’s dance lesson, which also went surprisingly smoothly. Afterward, Finn and Poe treated her to a proper dinner and dropped her back off at Ben’s apartment.

Thursday was…not terrible, especially since she’d had some decent rest. She was seriously considering stealing the pillows from Ben’s guest room, but only because she was quite sure she couldn’t get the mattress out without help.

Poe had managed to cut her workload in half, between taking up the slack on their shared projects and parceling out everything else around the department. It helped that Zorii Bliss would be back the next week from her maternity leave (Rey had met her once, she thought, right before the baby was born). Her wife, Jannah, would be taking more time off once Zorii was back, but since they worked in different departments that didn’t cause any issues for Rey.

The final dance lesson went smoothly enough, and Rey caught a ride home with Rose. They had both taken Friday off to travel to the venue (the wedding site was only a couple hours away) and help oversee the set up (which basically meant attempting to keep Finn from panicking too much) until the rehearsal dinner.

To say she was surprised when the video call came up from Ben was an understatement. He should have just been boarding his flight, but when she accepted the call, he was quite clearly in his living room. “You left,” he said, pouting into the camera.

“Yes. I don’t actually live there, and you were _supposed_ to be on an airplane right now.”

He shrugged. “I caught an earlier flight.”

“Clearly.” She studied him for a moment. “You look exhausted.”

He blinked, bleary-eyed. “Maybe, but our part of the project is done and out of my hands.”

Rey smiled softly as he yawned. “Ben, go to bed. We all have quite the busy weekend ahead.”

“I probably should. _I_ still have to go into the office in the morning.” He paused before adding so softly she almost didn’t hear, “But I wanted to see you.” She couldn’t have stopped the soft smile curving her lips if she had tried.

“Well, you’ll see me tomorrow…although depending on how panicked Finn and Poe are, that may only be a brief glimpse as I run past you.”

She got a hint of his laughter and grinned at him. “I’ve missed you,” she said softly.

“Same,” Ben commented, punctuated by a yawn.

“Go to bed, Mr. Solo. Can’t have you falling asleep at the wheel tomorrow.”

Most of Friday passed in a blur. Despite her insistence she would stay awake and keep Rose company while she drove, Rey fell asleep in the passenger seat before they reached the city limit sign. Rose let her sleep, and when Rey tried to apologize once they arrived, Rose insisted she had enjoyed being able to listen to all the music she loved but Rey hated. Rey suspected it was more that Rose knew she’d barely slept, but she didn’t argue. She was learning to let people care for her sometimes. It was an ongoing process.

Finn met them at the car, talking non-stop before Rose even got the vehicle in park, never mind before either of them opened a door. He handed them room keys, he and Poe already having checked in for the entire wedding party, told them to let the bell staff take their bags up, and insisted he needed them on the wedding lawn _immediately_.

Rose and Rey exchanged a glance and followed, not even considering asking him if they could rest and freshen up, although they did insist on a stop at the nearest ladies’ (because, as Rose pointed out, some pressing needs simply could not be ignored after a 32 ounce beverage and 2 hours of driving).

Snap and Poe were already there, standing at the edge of the patio overlooking a verdant valley. “Do you see this? _Do you?_ ” Finn cried. “I can’t believe this is happening. Everything is ruined. We should have eloped.”

Rey grabbed his hand, looking in confusion at the piece of fabric he was clutching. Was that a napkin?

Rose seemed equally confused, and she made the mistake of saying, “See what? It looks like a napkin.”

“Yes Rose, exactly. It’s a napkin. For the reception. And it’s _ivory,_ Rose. _Ivory!_ The napkins are supposed to be _champagne. CHAMPAGNE_ , Rose! Now the whole color scheme is off. Everything’s ruined!”

Rey caught Poe’s eye, glaring at him as he and Snap tried to slip back inside the hotel. Rose caught Finn’s arm. “Finn, sweetie, it will be fine. Ivory was your second choice, right? Remember how good it looked with the blue tablecloths?” Finn nodded. Rey transferred her hold on his hand, slipping her arm through his so that she mirrored Rose on his other side. The two women led Finn back in the building, Rose mouthing _You owe me_ at Poe as they passed. Or maybe she was directing that at Snap, considering he was the one standing up with Finn while Rose would be on Poe’s side of the aisle.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” Finn cried, collapsing on the foot of Rey’s hotel bed. “Why am I like this? Why am I crazy?”

Rey flopped down beside him. “Um, maybe because you’re madly in love with the man of your dreams, and you actually get to marry him tomorrow and spend the rest of your life making _him_ crazy?” She turned, using one hand to prop her head up. “Weddings are stressful, Finn, and you’ve managed to put a really big one together in only a few months, _without_ hiring a wedding planner. You’ve earned the crazy. Get it out today so tomorrow you can focus on yourself…and Poe too, I guess.”

Finn chuckled. “Speaking of being crazy in love, anything new with you and Solo?” He did something with his face that Rey assumed was his version of the suggestive eyebrow waggle Poe had down pat. On Finn it was just…disturbing. She huffed and turned onto her back again.

“I’m not in love with him!” He made a suspiciously snort-like sound. “I’m not…I don’t think.” She sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Not yet? I like him. A lot. _Ugh!_ Finn, how do I even know what love feels like?”

“It’s something you just know.” It was Finn’s turn to lean up, staring at her with serious eyes. “I think it’s probably different for everybody. But when it’s the real thing, you just…”

“Know?” She said teasingly, then poked him in the side and he squirmed, regretting ever letting Rey find out he was ticklish.

They lay in companionable silence for a while. “We’re still stuck in this weird holding pattern,” she said softly. "It seems like every time we even try to talk about it, some disaster strikes. It…I feel like maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

Whatever Finn was going to say was halted by Rose knocking on the door. Rey groaned and got up to open the door. “All right, people, flowers are here, the cake is in the hotel’s walk in cooler, and Poe’s dad will be arriving in about 20 minutes, Solo’s parking his car now, and the officiant is in the bar with Poe and Snap. We now have less than 2 hours until the rehearsal, so Finn, babe, Rey and I love you, but you need to let us shower and get dressed.”

Rose swept Finn out of the room as she left again and Rey couldn’t help walking to the window, wondering if the parking lot below was the one where—yep, there he was. Rey couldn’t make out his features, but she’d know him anywhere. She watched Ben unfold himself from his car, pausing to stretch his arms and back for a moment before pulling a garment bag and small suitcase out of the back seat. No briefcase or computer bag in sight. He really was serious about being here for Poe and Finn (not that she hadn’t already known that, but it was good to see him at least trying to take an actual break from work).

Ben leaned against the car for a moment, looking down at his hand. Was he holding something? She was distracted by the sound of her mobile vibrating on the nightstand where she had the charger plugged into the outlet on the beside lamp. She checked the screen for the notification, worried Finn was having another crisis.

Oh.

The message was from Ben. Well, now she knew what he’d been holding.

_Just parked at the hotel_ the message read. _Have the grooms got you spinning in circles?_

She grinned at the screen before tapping out her response.

_Not at the moment. Rose came to the rescue! Need to shower for the rehearsal._ She paused, finger hovering over **send** before adding _But I may have spent a few minutes watching you through my window like a creepy stalker._

She hit send and put the device back down, this time actually going into the bathroom and turning on the water. As much as she might want to see Ben at the moment, this was Finn and Poe’s weekend and she only had so much time left to make herself presentable.

Ben smiled at his phone and couldn’t stop himself glancing up at the building. Between the anti-glare coating on the windows reflecting the late afternoon sun and the fact that the entire wedding party was on the two highest floors he knew he couldn’t see anything. But he still looked.

Seeing Rey, hearing her voice…in recent weeks it had become a physical need. It had been years since he slept through the night, but recently he couldn’t even fall asleep at all without at least talking to her. Part of him thought he should be frightened by that, but mostly he was just thankful she hadn’t realized she was too good for him.

Ben was roused from his thoughts of Rey by Poe’s voice calling out to him from the nearest exit door. He straightened and waved a hand in Poe’s general direction, signaling he’d heard in hopes Poe might stop yelling. It wasn’t likely, but there was always hope.

The rehearsal was roughly the same time the ceremony would be on Saturday. This time it was Poe who panicked when he realized the glare of the setting sun from this angle was going to blind, well, pretty much everyone. “The pictures! Oh my God, the pictures! They’ll be ruined and we won’t have any of our memories and we’ll all have permanent retinal damage and— “

The panicked diatribe abruptly ended when Ben stepped up behind him, grabbed him by the shoulders, and physically turned him about forty-five degrees. “So, have them angle the chairs, drape the awning a little lower, and start five minutes later.” His voice was calm, soothing, even. Rey had heard that tone before, as had Poe and Finn, but she saw the surprise on Rose and Snap’s faces. She grinned at Rose and turned her attention back to Poe (well, to Ben, always to Ben, but he was with Poe at the moment so that was fine…completely and totally fine, and she was absolutely not shirking her duties just to stare at her sort-of-maybe-almost-boyfriend…not at all).

Finn was just staring adoringly at his soon to be husband, completely calm now that Poe had a moment of panic as well.

No one noticed (or if they did, they had the good sense not to point out) that Rey was staring at Ben with pretty much the same expression.

The second run-through was perfect as far as Rey was concerned, but Poe was concerned about…something…

They let him demand they go through it twice more before even Finn and Rose threatened mutiny if they didn’t get food soon. The only reason Snap hadn’t joined them in complaining was a pocket full of granola bars Rose had smacked him for bringing, and then again for not sharing.

Ben watched Rey throughout the rehearsal dinner. It was easy enough, with her seated across from him. She was unusually quiet, but he thought it was just exhaustion. When she begged off going to the hotel bar for after dinner drinks, he was sure of it.

When his parents decided they _would_ hang around for a drink or two Poe didn’t even give Ben a hard time for making his own excuses, although Poe did shoot him a meaning-laden look which Ben chose to ignore, pretending not to see Poe’s expression as he left the room.

He wasn’t going to knock on her door.

He _wasn’t_.

But she sent him a message before he even got off the elevator, asking him to please stop by before he went to bed so she could tell him goodnight.

So he stopped at her door, conveniently right next to his although Poe had sworn it was coincidental, just a _happy accident_ that Ben had the single king room next door to Rey while Rose and Snap were in a room with two queen beds at the opposite end of the hallway (never mind that Ben had been the one to make the final check of the rooming list and confirmed room types and knew Rey had volunteered to take the room with the two smaller beds so Rose and Snap would be more comfortable).

She seemed surprised when she opened the door. “Oh! I thought you’d be at the bar with everyone else.”

“I could leave and come back if you want?” He took a step back, pointing over his shoulder as if to indicate he would walk back to the elevator and go to the bar after all.

She knew he was teasing her. Rey was one of the few people who had learned how to tell his very dry, sarcastic sense of humor from genuine irritation. “If you want,” she said, “see you then.” He caught the door as she let it go, as if she really planned to close it in his face. She leaned against the pressed-board dresser, a tired smile curving her lips as she stepped into her room. He didn’t miss her glance at the bed followed by an instant flush on her cheeks. She shifted uncomfortably, a look of near panic on her face as she looked up at him. Ben slowed, froze in place, not taking the final step he wanted, the one single step that would put him close enough to put his arms around her—and he _really_ wanted to do that. “I, ah, I didn’t mean…not that I wouldn’t…but not…”

It was Ben’s turn to look panicked. “Oh! No! I didn’t think…I was just…I thought it was just good night, not, you know, _good night_. We both know we have things to discuss before…ah…and anyway, I’m pretty sure neither of us have the energy. I’m also not entirely sure Poe was joking when he threatened bed checks and a curfew.” She giggled and slumped back against the dresser, relaxed again. He took a half-step, held up his arms, and paused, unsure again. “Can I, just,” he gestured helplessly, hands still held out to her but hovering just short of contact.

“ _Please,_ ” she said with a nod, falling forward into his embrace.

Ben relaxed as Rey let him hold her, tension he hadn’t even realized he was carrying seeping out of him as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “You and your cat,” she mumbled, and it took him a moment to realize she was referring to Deathstar’s tendency to curl up on the pillow against the top of his (and he supposed now Rey’s) head.

“She did that to you too, huh?”

“Told you at Thanksgiving, she likes me best.”

“Understandable,” he said, somewhat muffled by her hair. “I like you best, too.”

Rey shifted, pulling away slightly to beam up at him before leaning her head back against his chest with a sigh. “I missed you,” she mumbled into the lapel of his dark blue (not black, Poe had vetoed black for anything other than socks and tomorrow’s tuxedo for the entire weekend, threatening that he would even check everyone’s underwear) suit jacket.

“Missed you too,” he said softly.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but letting her go and sending her to bed, while he left for his own room, was one of the more difficult things he had ever done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little progress, at last. Not much, and it's still going to be painfully slow the next two chapters, but as has been happening lately, this story veered completely off course and become something completely different from the original (well, expanded original) plan.
> 
> And for those of you who missed it (except for my husband, lol), I posted what would have been the actual original idea (smutty one shot) to Upside Down, Inside Out about a month ago. It's chapter 4: [All I Want, Is You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579791/chapters/58147420)
> 
> UPDATE as of 6/16/20: Short scene from Han's POV added to [Matchmaking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23140702/chapters/59844853).


	15. Wedding Dazed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Finn get married, but as excited for them as she is, Rey can’t seem to keep her eyes off Poe’s best man.
> 
> _She almost didn’t realize she and Ben had started to sway, gently, in time with the music. She leaned in closer, body lightly brushing against his as she stared up at him, trapped in his gaze, in the heat and longing she saw there._
> 
> _For_ her _._
> 
> _Rey tilted her chin, hands sliding from his chest to wind around his neck. She didn’t need to pull him down; he was already bending, leaning in._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly the shortest chapter in this story, and I am sorry for that. 
> 
> Also check out Matchmaking for Poe’s POV during the reception.
> 
> The wedding festivities (ch 14 and 15) were definitely inspired by specific songs on the playlist so if you are interested in that see the notes at the end of the chapter.

Ben crept quietly out of Rey’s room just after five on Saturday morning. He’d had every intention of spending the night in his own room but after an hour of listening to the low hum of her television flipping between various sitcoms from the 80s and 90s he’d found himself back at the door, tapping lightly.

She’d opened it almost immediately and given him an apologetic half-smile. “Sorry. I can’t seem to go to sleep. I didn’t mean to be too loud. I can turn the set off.”

“No, you don’t have to. I wouldn’t have even noticed but…I can’t sleep either.” Wordlessly, Rey opened the door wider and stepped back.

They’d settled on her bed, both leaning against the headboard and he had his arm around her as they talked about everything and nothing at all, the low hum of an episode of The Golden Girls in the background.

They hadn’t kissed, and other than him holding her they’d not even touched. They had _finally_ broached the topic of what they both wanted, prompted by, of all things, Blanche Devereaux agreeing to take things slow and have an old-fashioned romance with her beau of the week. Something about the line had caught Rey’s attention and she’d sighed against his shoulder, idly commenting that such an idea was nice.

“We could, you know?” Ben had found himself saying.

She’d snorted in her attempt to hold back a laugh. “I’m not sure we could take things any slower without going in reverse.”

He’d grinned, running a hand through his hair as he readjusted against the headboard and pillows—shifting lower in the bed—and pulled her more fully into his arms. “I’m serious, though. I think…Rey, I think I’ve been waiting for you my entire life.” She made a little humming sound but didn’t say anything and he froze, wondering if he’d just ruined everything by taking that particular step in the middle of a discussion about taking things slowly.

“Rey?”

She hummed again and shifted against him. He looked down and realized she was asleep, head pillowed on his chest. He shook his head. _Of course._ He finally managed to get the words out, to try and _start_ to tell her how he felt, and she was asleep.

He dropped a kiss on her forehead and whispered “Goodnight, sweetheart,” before allowing himself to drift off as well.

Rey woke to the first tendrils of sunlight creeping across her face through the sheer curtains of her hotel room. She’d forgotten to close the black out curtains before she fell asleep.

_On Ben._

They’d been in the middle of talking, finally _really_ talking, and she had _fallen asleep._ She groaned and pressed her palms over her eyes. She vaguely remembered something about old-fashioned romance and moving backwards, and Ben had been telling her something—something important, she was sure—and then nothing except a vague dream of him kissing her forehead and possibly tucking the duvet tighter around her as he left. What time _had_ he left?

Rey was distracted from her thoughts by the ring of the room phone, the blaring of the hotel alarm clock, and the rising crescendo of the alarm on her mobile all going off at once. She cringed and began trying to silence them all, intent on ignoring the sudden headache the noise brought about. She was going to kill Rose and Finn. One alarm would have been enough, but no, Rose had set the clock and Finn had insisted on an automated 7:00 AM wake up call set by hotel reception.

Less than a minute later there was a knock on her door. Rey snuggled more firmly into the duvet and pillows. Whoever it was could bloody well come back. There was another knock, and a voice called out, “Room Service.”

Grumbling to herself, Rey struggled out of bed and stumbled across the room, fumbling with the door handle before she managed to open it with more force than necessary. The young woman in the hallway managed to maintain her professional smile and asked if Ms. Jackson would like her to set everything up on the table.

Rey nodded dumbly, blinking a few times. Had she ordered room service? She didn’t remember filling out the little door-hanger or talking to anyone last night. Or maybe Poe and Finn had set it up? The woman turned to leave. “Oh, wait, do I need to sign? Or, no, I should tip you! I’m so sorry I’m not awake.”

She was just turning to search for her wallet when the woman’s smile widened, showing one dimple. “Oh, no ma’am! That’s not at all necessary. It’s all been taken care of.” She started to gently close the door then paused. “Oh, I almost forgot, there’s a card! I’m supposed to make sure you see it.” She pointed at the cream-colored envelope propped against a rose in a bud vase before slipping silently from the room, the click of the door closing behind her barely audible.

_Rey,_

_I suspect Poe and Finn won’t remember to feed you for a few hours (if at all). For everyone’s safety, I thought I’d send you breakfast._

_Ben_

She smiled down at the card and carefully set it aside before pouring a cup of (not too terrible) coffee and lifting the silver cloche from the tray.

Rose and Paige showed up at 7:30, laden with bags and boxes. Rose shrieked when she realized Rey was still in her pajamas and insisted that they were already behind schedule. She grabbed the piece of toast Rey was in the process of biting and physically shoved her in the general direction of the bathroom. Rey went, too shocked to resist, although she did mutter that she was desperately regretting letting Rose have her second room key.

She was out of the shower quickly and stepped out wrapped in a plush white hotel towel to find Kaydel had arrived as well. Paige and Kaydel were in charge of hair and make up, and looking at the array of brushes, tools, and products the two of them had unpacked while she showered, Rey was suddenly almost afraid to stay in the room. She must have looked longingly at the door because Rose was suddenly there, leaning back against it. “No running away!” Rose crossed her arms and stuck her chin out.

“Relax,” Kaydel said, taking pity on her. “Most of this is for later.” Rey did relax a bit at that. After all, the ceremony was nearly 11 hours away.

“Oh, just ruin my fun, then,” Rose muttered, and Rey had to wonder when the two of them had become friends. They’d definitely met, several times, and along with Rey and Paige had been on calls and group chats with both Poe and Finn several times in the past months.

She shook her head and pointed at Rose as she walked to the closet for the simple sundress she had planned to wear for the morning’s activities (mostly checking the set up for the ceremony and reception and keeping Finn and Poe calm-ish). “I’m killing you if we all survive the day.”

Rose laughed. “Yeah, yeah, love you too. Get your ass dressed so we can tackle Finn’s wedding day checklist and hopefully get it all done in time for an actual lunch.”

The bulk of the day passed in a bit of a blur. The photographer followed the wedding party from place to place, constantly snapping candids as Finn decided he liked the ivory napkins better than the champagne ones after all, the wedding party and their families met for lunch, and then as they separated to various rooms and suites to get ready for the ceremony.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, overlooking the valley as the sun set. Rey tried valiantly to pay attention, really she did, but Ben was _so_ close and looked amazing. She’d seen him in a tux several times, but today he was _smiling_. Frequently. With dimples.

Poe and Finn wanted to walk down the aisle together, which meant she got to walk in on Ben’s arm, behind Rose and Snap and before the grooms. She didn’t really want to let him go and step to the side to watch her friends, but she also _really_ wanted to take in the way Poe and Finn had been looking at one another all day.

The officiant spoke in a monotone, and Rey found her mind—and eyes—wandering to Ben as she tuned him out. Ben grinned at her over Poe’s shoulder when she startled (only a bit, hopefully no one else noticed) when it was time for the rings and vows. She fumbled a little with the box tucked away in her bouquet as she retrieved Poe’s ring and handed it to Finn. She hoped the blush she could feel heating her cheeks would be attributed to excitement for her friends and the rays of the setting sun.

The vows were eloquent, heart felt, and recited through tears, but Rey couldn’t remember a single word she heard Finn or Poe say to one another, because Ben was _watching_ her.

She _did_ manage to pay enough attention that she didn’t miss the kiss, and she neither stumbled nor over-eagerly hurried to take her place by Ben again as they followed the newlyweds out and to the reception hall for yet more pictures while the guests were ushered by hotel staff to a patio area for hors d’oeuvres and cocktails. Instead, she managed to maintain the measured, sedate pace she was supposed to, and only stared up at Ben _part_ of the time.

After what felt like an interminably long time for more pictures, the guests were allowed in and everyone was seated for dinner…during which she sat beside Finn and Ben was on the other side of Poe.

She missed him.

He was three chairs away and she missed him.

What had she been thinking, suggesting they take things slowly?

Poe and Finn had their first dance as husbands and Rey cried all the way through, too overwhelmingly happy to let it out any other way.

Then it was time for the wedding party to join them and she forgot there were other people there at all when Ben’s hand settled at her waist. For a moment, she understood why the waltz had been considered scandalous at the time of its introduction.

When the dance was over she found herself changing partners, first claimed by Finn and then Poe, before being handed off to Poe’s father, who was utterly charming but had a much calmer energy than his son. After that she danced with Rose, and Han, and then was claimed briefly by Kaydel until Hux cut in, and _finally_ Ben stepped up again, pressing a small bottle of water into her hand and leading her to a quiet corner.

“Having fun?”

She nodded, gulping the water down before tossing the bottle into a conveniently located recycling bin. “Thanks for that.”

“You looked like you could use it.”

“Were you watching me, Mr. Solo?” she practically purred, stepping in closer and feeling inordinately pleased with herself when his arms settled around her waist.

“Maybe.” He leaned down, lips almost brushing the shell of her ear— _almost_ , as he added “I’m always watching you, Ms. Jackson.” She shivered at his tone.

A new song started, and she recognized it from the opening notes. One of her favorites, and she knew for a fact that although they tolerated it, neither Finn nor Poe cared for it. She knew Poe had picked all the music. He had been unyielding on that point, insisting on his own playlist rather than hiring a band or DJ. Which meant he’d included this song specifically for Rey. She glanced over at Poe, standing with Finn as they each sipped at their own bottles of water in between exchanging pleasantries and accepting well-wishes from their guests.

Dimly, she noted the dance floor was mostly empty, the majority of guests returned to their seats or standing in small groups chatting or sipping at cold drinks.

She almost didn’t realize she and Ben had started to sway, gently, in time with the music. She leaned in closer, body lightly brushing against his as she stared up at him, trapped in his gaze, in the heat and longing she saw there.

For _her._

Rey tilted her chin, hands sliding from his chest to wind around his neck. She didn’t need to pull him down; he was already bending, leaning in.

Her eyelids fluttered.

A rattling crash followed by a yell from Poe broke whatever spell they’d been under. Ben straightened and dropped his arms from around her as she jumped back, both turning to find then source of the disturbance.

The cake.

The wedding cake was being wheeled in by the banquet staff, the cart rattling a bit. “Cake! Time for cake,” Finn said, a little too loudly as he grabbed Poe’s hand. “Come on, honey, we should cut the cake.”

Rey forced a smile and Ben shook his head as she grabbed his hand. Moment broken, he let her lead him to Poe and Finn.

The rest of the reception they spent near Poe and Finn, neither trusting themselves not to duck out early even though they had promised to stay until the very last moment (not that the couple would be genuinely upset, but it would have been _rude_ not to keep their promise).

Finally, though, _finally_ , the couple left for their suite in a cloud of bubbles blown by their remaining guests.

Rey was exhausted, and she couldn’t bear another moment in the shoes Finn and Poe had chosen for Rey and Rose to wear with their mint green dresses. She sat down and fumbled at the straps, growing increasingly frustrated at her seeming inability to deal with the tiny buckles.

She heard Ben chuckle. “Here, I think I can get a better angle,” he said, kneeling on the floor in front of her and grasping her ankle. Her breath caught as he made quick work of her shoe, then held her foot in both hands, massaging the arch with his thumbs for a moment before she held up the other foot.

“Please?”

He laughed and nodded, repeating his actions before eventually standing up and claiming another chair as the hotel banquet and catering staff began cleaning up.

“So, all in all a successful day.”

“Yep,” Rey said, pausing and covering her mouth as she yawned. “They’re married now, and that’s what matters,” she agreed, sleepiness creeping into her tone.

“Come on, neighbor, I’ll walk you to your room.”

“You could carry me,” she said with a cheeky grin.

“Could. But you haven’t asked nicely. Also, I feel the need to point out that we have to pass the bar, where I am fairly certain my parents, my uncle, Amilyn, and a few other people from work are continuing the celebration.”

“Fair point,” she agreed, rising slowly. Why did her _knees_ hurt? “But I am not putting the strappy foot-torture devices back on.” She plucked the centerpiece off the table and claimed the small handbag she’d used to carry her room key, lip gloss (Kaydel insisted), and mobile phone from the storage closet the hotel had offered to the wedding party.

Ben plucked the centerpiece from her hands, and she picked up the offending shoes before allowing him to lead her from the room, across the lobby (the staff gave her stockinged feet a _look_ but no one protested when it become clear they weren’t going to the hotel bar), and to the elevators. He pressed the button for their floor and they rode up in companionable silence, punctuated only by another yawn from Rey just as they stepped out onto the plush carpeting of the hallway.

One moment he was walking casually beside her, the centerpiece she had claimed tucked in the crook of his arm, and the next Rey was pressed between Ben’s body and the door to her hotel room. She whimpered when his mouth crashed down over hers, her hands grasping at the lapels of his jacket and trying to pull him even closer. She tasted mint and the sugary sweetness of cake frosting and just a hint of bourbon and she couldn’t fight the impulse to chase the flavors, tongue darting out to meet his.

She dug desperately for her key card when he broke away, pressing his forehead against the wood of the door behind her as he groaned before lifting his head to stare down at her.

Rey grasped the little piece of plastic by the corner.

His eyes were wild, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Rey stared up at him, wide-eyed. “Rey, I cannot go into that room tonight.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat and looked down. Ben grasped her chin, gently tilting her head back up, forcing her to meet his eyes again. “You need to sleep, you’re dead on your feet, and I have to be at the airport in 4 hours to make Andor’s next meeting and finalize the joint partnership agreement for the parts you’ve been helping him design. Sweetheart, if I come in there with you neither of those things is going to happen tonight.” She gasped, and started to speak, to argue that she didn’t care, she wanted him to come in anyway, but instead emitted a jaw-cracking, eye-watering yawn.

Ben laughed and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Go. Sleep. In two weeks, we’ll be headed to the satellite office for Andor’s project and I swear, Rey, every minute, every _second,_ of my downtime while we’re there will be yours, if you want it. Even if it’s just to watch 80s sitcoms and eat Chinese food.” She offered him a watery smile, unsure whether the moisture gathering in her eyes was just from her body’s silent scream for sleep or the mix of disappointment and relief that he was stopping things and a little bit of dread at him being gone again so soon.

Probably equal parts of every option.

He waited until she was safely in her room, listened for her to engage the deadbolt before leaving.

She considered just collapsing onto the bed and allowing sleep to claim her, but she needed to at least get out of the dress and wash her face.

She returned home with Rose the next day, feeling like _everything_ had changed in the course of a single weekend.

Two weeks.

She could survive another two weeks.

She hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA)
> 
> Music for the current and previous chapters (Rehearsal, Wedding, and Reception):
> 
> Closer  
> Tangled Up In You  
> Everything Goes Black  
> You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This


	16. First Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corporate travel and noisy neighbors.
> 
> _“Uh, Rey? Ben? Something you two want to tell us?”_
> 
> _“No,” Rey said, taking a sip of her coffee (absolutely perfect, how did he do that with airport coffee). She put the cup back down before adding, “There’s nothing to tell.” She almost pulled it off, almost managed to keep a blank, placid expression._
> 
> _“Yet,” Ben muttered, and she blushed as he laughed and wrapped his arm around her, tugging her into his side as much as their seats allowed._
> 
> _“B…Bu…B…But dancing…cake...you…ah…after? No, no time…when…Andor, so no…”_
> 
> _Rey grinned up at Ben as Poe babbled helplessly and Finn just stared open-mouthed. “I think you broke them.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have to give up on some of the things I wanted to include. The direction of the story has changed too much. Probably nearing the end, maybe 5-10 more chapters max? I think? Potentially fewer now that I have to revisit and revise the end of the general outline.

Rey felt underdressed, out of place. It was Sunday, their travel day, and she’d dressed for comfort in stretchy, skinny jeans and a plain, white V-neck tee, finished with her black cardigan and a pair of simple, black ballet flats. Then she’d arrived at the airport and been informed her ticket had been upgraded to first class.

A _paid_ upgrade.

She sincerely hoped it hadn’t come out of their project budget. She and Poe had worked diligently at keeping what costs they could down, to the point that both Ben and Cassian Andor had teasingly called them stingy.

She’d arrived early enough that there wasn’t much of a line to get through the security screening and then wandered toward the gate. She was (she thought) halfway there when the text alert from Poe had come through, demanding she meet him in the first-class lounge.

And that was how she found herself surrounded by executives in bespoke suits or (if dressed more casually since it was the weekend) cashmere jumpers and designer jeans, all carrying bags or briefcases that likely cost more than most of her wardrobe—combined. Poe and Finn were dressed casually but still somehow made her feel grubby and insecure. Still, she hadn’t seen them since the wedding, and was quickly distracted by enthusiastic hugs and hundreds of photos from their honeymoon as they regaled her with stories from their trip.

She was so enthralled with the pictures and stories from their day ziplining in Costa Rica that she yelped when a large, paper coffee cup was plunked down in front of her. Several heads turned her way and Rey turned bright red and covered her face with one hand as Poe chortled in glee. “Sorry,” Ben said softly as he claimed the seat beside her, one hand on her back even as he settled. She didn’t miss Poe and Finn’s shared glance, but she was more interested in turning to greet Ben.

He’d been gone almost as long as the Damerons. She’d seen him once or twice at the office, as one or the other of them dashed off to a meeting, and they had still maintained their new habit of talking nightly, but it wasn’t the same.

Ben, of course, was fully dressed for work, in a black pinstriped suit and crisp white shirt (the button cuffs rather than French cuffs and gold cufflinks the closest he got to casual where work was concerned) complete with silk tie and pocket square. The only thing that suggested he hadn’t come straight from the office after hours of work was his still-damp hair. She grinned up at him as Poe grabbed Finn’s phone (still in Finn’s hand) and practically shoved it in Ben’s face, showing off the ziplining pictures and excitedly thanking Ben for suggesting the activity.

He was relaxed, actually smiling, and after greeting Poe and Finn, his hand had settled once more against Rey’s lower back. So of course, she noticed immediately when he tensed and she glanced up at his face, finding that stony expression he used as a mask sometimes directed behind her. She glanced over her shoulder, confused for a moment, before realizing the woman in the corner was staring, an almost hungry look on her face, and a magazine in her hand. Rey could just barely see the cover image and realized it was one she’d seen recently—a business publication with a cover story about the new agreement between Andor Machinery and SOS Special Projects, complete with a (very nice) picture of Ben and Cassian Andor. Rey made eye-contact with the woman and leaned in closer to Ben, placing one hand on his chest. Apparently, that was enough to stake her claim, because the woman looked down, a flush coloring her cheeks.

When she turned back, Poe and Finn had gone silent, staring at her in surprise, and Ben had a pleased grin on his face.

“Uh, Rey? Ben? Something you two want to tell us?”

“No,” Rey said, taking a sip of her coffee (absolutely perfect, how did he do that with _airport_ coffee). She put the cup back down before adding, “There’s nothing to tell.” She almost pulled it off, _almost_ managed to keep a blank, placid expression.

“Yet,” Ben muttered, and she blushed as he laughed and wrapped his arm around her, tugging her into his side as much as their seats allowed.

“B…Bu…B…But dancing…cake...you…ah…after? No, no time…when…Andor, so no…”

Rey grinned up at Ben as Poe babbled helplessly and Finn just stared open-mouthed. “I think you broke them.”

Ben just shrugged and stood. “I’m hungry. You want anything?”

Rey made a face, shaking her head no. Ben frowned down at her. “Are you okay?”

“I just _really_ don’t like flying.” He seemed to think about that for a moment, then just nodded and walked away in search of food.

As soon as Ben was out of earshot, Poe leaned across the small table they had claimed and grabbed her hand, Finn leaning in over his shoulder. “Okay, spill. What’s happened since our wedding.”

“Nothing.”

“ _Rey.”_

“Really Poe, nothing has changed since your wedding.” He grumbled but let her go, settling back into his chair. She sipped at her lukewarm coffee before adding, “You didn’t ask about what happened _at_ your wedding…well, technically after.”

“REY!” Several people looked up at Finn’s shout. He ignored them but did lower his voice as _he_ leaned across the table. “Did you and Solo? After my _wedding_?”

“No! No, we didn’t. But we did talk the night before—sort of at least, until I fell asleep, and he walked me back to my room after the reception, and he _may_ have kissed me absolutely senseless against my door. But…we’re still taking things slowly.”

“And are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I really am.” She glanced up at him with an impish grin. “It’s still frustrating as hell, though.”

Finn made a face and sputtered for a moment while Poe looked at her with pride. “Well done,” he said to Rey while he reached out to pat Finn’s hand. She was pretty sure he was referring to making Finn lose the ability to speak or think for a moment. Maybe not, but she wasn’t ready to ask for clarification if she was wrong in her guess.

Seat 1A had a lot of nice features and perks, but the best one, as far as Rey was concerned, was that it was next to 1B. Seat 1B, assigned to Ben Solo. She had several hours with him as a captive audience, during which neither of them had to worry about meetings or phone calls. Poe and Finn were across the aisle, safely ensconced back in their bubble of newlywed bliss thanks to Ben’s _innocent_ comment as they boarded that he’d purchased their upgraded tickets as a wedding gift. The flight crew and a few other passengers had immediately begun congratulating them. It was an effective strategy for distracting them. It got them almost an hour of no sly looks or teasing remarks from the newly married couple.

When she clenched her hands into fists on the armrests during takeoff, Ben’s hand covered hers, lacing their fingers together once she relaxed, and he leaned over, his voice a low murmur, as he distracted her with the fact that Deathstar’s new favorite napping spot was the guest bedroom. He blamed Rey, of course, claiming the cat wouldn’t even enter that room before she stayed. “She likes me best,” Rey insisted again, not even gasping as the plane left the ground. Ben kept talking to her, sharing silly anecdotes about the cat, or the things his father had done to get them both in trouble when Ben was a kid.

“Thank you,” she whispered as they reached cruising altitude. Ben glanced over his shoulder, checking to see if Poe and Finn were paying any attention, before lifting their hands—still entwined—and kissing Rey’s fingers.

Despite her determination to try to enjoy every moment, an hour into the flight, Rey could barely keep her eyes open. She had trouble sleeping anyway, but the night before travel she barely rested at all—ever. “Go to sleep, Rey,” Ben said, when she yawned for the third time in five minutes.

“’m fine,” she muttered before doing it again. She shivered, wishing she’d brought something other than her light cardigan, although she supposed she could ask for a blanket.

He snorted. “Right.” Ben shuffled around in his seat, unfastening the safety belt and standing, slipping his jacket off and draping it over her, ignoring the flight attendant’s offer to hang it up for him. He dropped back into his seat, tugging his tie loose and opening the button at his collar. She watched as he released the buttons at his wrists and rolled up the sleeves. He glanced over. “You had the right idea. I should have worn jeans.” It was her turn to snort. “What? I _can_ do casual.”

“Ben, _nothing_ about you is casual. You don’t even wear colors unless it’s your tie or your socks, and even those are on a schedule.”

“You’ve noticed my _socks_?” Rey flushed and looked away as he laughed, a pleased, masculine sound. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t tease you about what’s clearly a fetish,” his voice rumbled next to her ear and she gasped, swatting at him. “Now go to sleep, _please_. I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.” She glanced up at him, a little wide-eyed. He’d landed on the exact issue. She nodded and yawned again before shifting a bit in her seat and leaning over, resting her head against his upper arm as she snuggled into his suit jacket.

She missed the meal, and apparently slept through some pretty severe turbulence, only waking a few minutes before they began their descent, still using Ben as a pillow although at some point he’d managed to turn and put both arms around her, shifting her head to his chest. As she sat up and they both stretched a bit, she rubbed her face and was momentarily grateful she hadn’t bothered with make-up that morning.

“Sorry I keep falling asleep on you, Solo,” she muttered.

He grinned quickly—there and gone again—and she caught the flash of a dimple. “It’s not like I mind.”

There was a line to check in at the hotel, and it sounded as if they were short on rooms, based on the way the person in front of them was verbally assaulting the front desk staff because his complimentary upgrade didn’t have a garden view. Rey listened as the harassed employee repeated at least three times that there were absolutely no garden view rooms available and he had been offered a complimentary upgrade, restaurant voucher, and discounted parking as compensation.

As the man finally snatched his keys and stormed off, Ben stepped forward and Rey saw the poor front desk agent practically deflate in her defeat as he loomed over her just by virtue of his ridiculous height. “Since that asshole doesn’t have the manners to do so, I apologize on his behalf,” Rey heard him say, and saw the clerk stare up at him in shocked relief, fighting not to smile. “Solo,” Ben continued, “three rooms.” He handed over his ID and presented the company credit card.

The woman looked at her screen and frowned, then blanched a bit. “Ah, Mr. Solo, I _do_ have three rooms, but no suite upgrades and only two with a king bed.” She seemed to be steeling herself. “We’ll take whatever you have, as long as I don’t have to share with the newlyweds,” he said, pointing over his shoulder at Finn and Poe. She gave another relieved smile, thanked him for his understanding, and completed the check in process quickly, asking for the names of occupants in the additional rooms before handing over key packets and wishing them a pleasant evening.

Rey made sure to take the room with two queen beds, not realizing at the time that it would be in between the other rooms. She had a connecting door to Ben’s room—a realization that had her blushing alone in her own room—and a shared wall with Finn and Poe. A shared wall which, apparently, supported the headboard in their room. Rey groaned, feeling a little ill as the noise level increased. She loved them desperately, but some things she did NOT need to hear. She switched on the television, turning it up as loud as she dared in an attempt to drown them out and fervently wishing her Bluetooth earbuds hadn’t gone dead.

She almost didn’t hear the knock on the connecting door over the…activities…in the next room.

She flipped the safety latch and deadbolt and tugged the connecting door open, cringing at a particularly loud sound. Ben looked at her in horror. “I did not need to hear that…ever.” Rey nodded her agreement. “I was going to ask if you wanted to order room service and watch a movie, but now…what do you say we check out the restaurant next door? It probably won’t be wonderful, but we won’t have to listen to… _that._ ”

“I think you’re my hero,” she said, slipping her shoes back on and grabbing the small wristlet containing her phone, ID, and debit card.

Over dinner they talked about everything and nothing, and it felt like an actual date. The kind they hadn’t actually managed in their numerous attempts so far.

“So,” Rey said, in between bites of crusty bread, “You got Finn and Poe first class seats as a wedding gift. Clearly _you_ need the leg room. But why waste the money on me?”

He gave her a look that said she should already know the answer.

“First off, it absolutely was _not_ a waste of money if it was for you. Second, why would I make you sit alone? And really, it was as much for me as for you.” He glanced down at his plate, adding quietly, “I just wanted you close.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She gave him a cheeky grin. “And is that why the connecting rooms?”

“Wha—no, no, I didn’t…that just happened!”

“Relax, Ben, I’m teasing.” She grabbed another piece of bread from the basket between them. “Besides, I like the idea that you’re right there. It…you make me feel safe. I think that’s why I keep falling asleep on you, too.”

He smiled at her, the real, full smile that always made her breath catch, and reached across the table for her hand. “Good. I’m glad. Although there’s going to come a time that I’ll probably be greatly offended if you fall asleep on me.”

She flushed at his tone, not missing the implication. “Well,” she said, “When that time comes, I suppose you’ll just have to make sure I don’t get bored. Keep me… _actively engaged_ , yeah?”

He coughed as the water he was drinking went down the wrong way and Rey took a bite of her pasta, pleased with herself for turning it around on him.

“It was good of you, apologizing to the hotel receptionist like that. For that other man’s behavior.”

He shrugged. “I won’t deny, there was a time I was worse than he was, but…well, she was just doing her job, he still had a room, and there’s no point berating someone like that, especially someone who works in a service industry. They don’t get paid enough to deal with that, no one does.” He shifted uncomfortably, and she had the feeling he was thinking about his own actions at work sometimes. He was steadily improving, but there were still…incidents.

“Well, except Mitaka,” she said, breaking the tension.

It was quiet when they returned to their rooms, but Poe and Finn still seemed to be awake. “I’ll, uh, I’ll leave my side open,” Ben said, “In case…”

“Thanks,” she said. He started to step away and she stopped him. “Ben?”

“Hm?”

“Can I have a good night kiss?”

“I suppose,” he said, accompanied by an overly dramatic put-upon sigh, making her laugh as his arms slipped around her waist.

Rey crawled into bed completely exhausted but tingling all over. From one kiss. She drifted off quickly, falling into a dreamless sleep.

For approximately two hours.

When the noises started up again, she didn’t even hesitate, just grabbed her pillow, and padded silently into the next room, sliding into bed beside Ben. He lifted his head, blinking in the darkness. “Hm?”

“Sh, it’s just me. They’re at it again. Go back to sleep.”

He dragged her against him, arm curled around her waist as he settled back into his own pillow, her name a soft sigh across his lips.

The knocking woke her, and she squinted at the sunlight streaming in through a gap in the black out drapes. She could feel the solid warmth of Ben against her back and she sighed, snuggling back into him. Then the knocking came again, this time accompanied by Poe’s voice. “Solo! Come on, get up. You owe us breakfast.” Distantly, she could hear Finn knocking on the door to her room and calling out as well. Ben grumbled behind her as she extricated herself from his hold and slipped from the bed, thinking she’d go back through the connecting door and open her door for Finn. She paused in the doorway, looking back over her shoulder where Ben was just sitting up with a groan.

No. No, why hide it? She didn’t do anything wrong, and the look on Poe’s face would probably be worth the teasing she would have to endure as a result. Turning, she stomped over to Ben’s door and flipped the locks before flinging it open, glaring at Poe for all she was worth. He stared, open-mouthed for a moment, before Finn cheerfully announced that Poe owed him a twenty.

Rey didn’t say anything, just stepped back and released her hold on the door, heading back to her own room as it started to swing shut behind her.

She heard the thump as Poe caught the door, and the shuffling noises as he and Finn stepped into Ben’s room.

It was too early for this. No coffee. Too much morning.

Rey locked herself in the bathroom for a shower, ignoring Poe’s whining demands that she hurry because he was hungry. It was his own fault, really…well, his and Finn’s. Both for the fact that they had “missed” dinner and that Rey was grumpy at having her sleep interrupted.

She took her time drying off, making sure to spend extra time moisturizing, and then slowly dressing as well.

She refused to answer any questions, in fact she blatantly ignored both Finn and Poe until she’d finished a cup of (terrible) coffee and half a piece of toast. Finally, she looked up, caught the gleam in Ben’s eye that said he was doing all he could not to laugh, and met Poe’s eyes. “So, I’d ask how you slept last night but I already know you didn’t,” she said, biting into another piece of toast. “Poor Ben,” she said, scooping some strawberry jam onto what remained of her toast. “He had to deal with me crashing in his room because the two of you have no volume control.”

Finn shifted uncomfortably, refusing to look at her.

Rey speared a bite of her omelet, pausing to point the fork at Poe. “It’s fortunate you’re at the end of the hall, and there wasn’t another room on the other side.” She popped the bite into her mouth, chewing and swallowing before continuing as she scooped up some breakfast potatoes, “Although, honestly, I’d be shocked if the people across the hall or, say, in the hotel next door didn’t file a noise complaint.” She claimed another bite of omelet, grinning at Poe with her mouth full, cheeks puffed out with egg and potato.

Ben laughed and Poe just gave her a sheepish grin, his only defense, “Well, we _are_ newlyweds.” Finn smacked his shoulder lightly, clearly more embarrassed at the entire situation.

“On that note,” Ben said after swallowing a bite of his own eggs, “I’m switching apartments with you two when we get to corporate housing this afternoon.” He paused, draining his juice glass before adding, “And you two are going to be the ones moving the boxes I shipped.” Poe shrugged while Finn mumbled that he guessed that was fair. “By the way, the building’s elevator is broken. Repairs can’t happen for at least a week; they’re waiting for a part. But, hey, it’s only three flights.” Finn and Poe grumbled at that revelation.

“You’re a little bit evil, Ben Solo,” Rey said, toasting him with her juice glass. “I approve.”


	17. Attachments, Designs, and Color Coordination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team settles into their temporary housing, begins work, and Rey has some serious thinking to do.
> 
> _Ben gave up on whatever he’d been planning to say and gave her a soft smile instead. “You seem better this morning.”_
> 
> _“Yes, just…I guess I was just tired. Travel stress, yeah?” He accepted that but she could tell he wasn’t entirely happy with her explanation. Ben Solo knew she was keeping something from him, and he didn’t like it. She opened the door. “Go for your run, and I’ll shower and get breakfast. I already told Finn and Poe to meet at yours in an hour or so.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter count is TENTATIVE. This story completely derailed (yes, more than once) and half of what I had planned just won't work so we are, in fact, closer to the end than I had anticipated. I THINK they'll still earn the rating but honestly that might change too...at this point it's sheer stubbornness and the hope that some of you are still reading that has me returning to this AU and not abandoning it. Y'all, it's just...so bad. I read back over it and, yeah, as much as I love this story I cannot seem to stop picking at it and wanting to tear it into shreds and start over. I was SO rusty when I started this one, but TROS had me so messed up I needed to give them a happy ending. This is the ONLY fandom I have ever liked AU's for (or written one that wasn't a crossover into another fandom's canonverse).
> 
> Anyway, all that babbling is to say, if you are still here, thank you so much for your patience and I hope this doesn't turn out to be a huge disappointment in the end.

The corporate housing was surprisingly nice. Rey wasn’t sure exactly what she _had_ expected, but the one-bedroom furnished apartment was nicer than the flat she shared with Rose. There were even low maintenance potted plants placed neatly in each room (the cleaning service apparently took care of those as well as general cleaning duties).

As she unpacked a few things she could hear someone moving in the unit next door, the squeal and clatter of hangers on the bar in the closet, and she was grateful again that Ben had traded flats with the newlyweds. They had the evening to unpack, a team dinner at some point, and then the real work would begin in the morning. She would need what sleep she could get.

She was excited but also terrified. When she was studying his designs in Kenobi’s class, Rey had never dreamed she’d even get the opportunity to _meet_ Cassian Andor, and here she was working with him on a project. She thought again about the email—more specifically the attachment—sitting in her personal inbox. She needed to form some sort of response.

She also needed to tell Ben, and _that_ prospect was somehow more overwhelmingly terrifying than the actual offer.

The first time he’d mentioned it, he’d been joking. The second and third times he was deadly serious. Cassian Andor wanted to hire her.

And not as an assistant or a low-level tech.

No, Cassian Andor wanted Rey Jackson to partner with him in research and development of his designs—well, _their_ designs, if she accepted.

It was more than she ever could have dreamed of, and she wasn’t sure she _could_ say no. She was one hundred percent certain that she _should_ _not_ say no.

But Andor Machinery was hours away from home…hours away from Ben Solo…by _plane._

It was early, too early for declarations, but she could finally admit (to herself anyway) that she loved Ben, heart and soul, and now she was going to have to choose between the man she loved and an opportunity that was beyond her wildest dreams.

She jumped when a knock sounded at the door, startling her from her thoughts. It couldn’t be Ben, because she could hear him still moving around next door, so that left Poe or Finn. They each had keys to all three flats in case of emergencies, but none of them would just barge in without reason, and she had locked the door behind her out of habit. “Coming!” she called out, hurrying from the bedroom and across the small living room. She flung the door open and yelped in surprise to find Kaydel and Armitage waiting on the other side.

“Surprise!” Kaydel said, grabbing Rey in an enthusiastic hug while Armitage shook his head and looked on fondly. Rey returned the hug after a moment’s hesitation.

Poe and Finn shuffled out of the stairwell before anyone had a chance to speak again, loaded down with another set of Ben’s boxes and grumbling about it.

“Oh, hey Kay, Hux,” Poe said, practically dropping the two boxes he was carrying in front of Ben’s door. Kaydel gave him the same enthusiastic greeting she had bestowed upon Rey and Finn grumbled good-naturedly about her accosting his husband, then laughed when Kaydel hugged him as well and added a loud, smacking kiss on his lips.

The light caught where Kaydel’s hand rested on Finn’s shoulder and Rey gasped. That drew Finn’s and Poe’s attention to the sparkling engagement ring and the greetings morphed into cheers and congratulations.

“When did this happen?” Poe demanded. “Tell me everything. Did he get down on one knee? Hide the ring in your favorite dessert? Tie it to the cat’s collar?”

Finn gave Poe’s shoulder an affectionate pat. “Ignore my husband, he’s too nosy for his own good.”

Kaydel laughed and even Hux smiled at that and may or may not have let out a light chuckle.

“No, no, I want to tell _everyone_!” Kaydel insisted.

“She really does,” Hux said, sliding an arm around her waist and kissing her cheek. “Yesterday it was the check out girl at the grocer’s, this morning our breakfast server heard the tale twice.”

Kaydel grinned. “It’s not like we aren’t regulars, and they did _ask_ when they saw the ring.”

She seemed about to say more when Ben’s front door swung open and he glared out at the group. “You’re all really loud.” Rey rolled her eyes and waited as his expression changed into an easy grin. “I take it you’ve told everyone the good news?” he directed at Hux.

Because of course Ben knew.

Rey shook her head as another round of congratulatory hugging started, this time Poe dragging Ben into the middle of things and waiting until the excitement calmed a bit before wrapping his free arm around Rey’s shoulders and merrily announcing, “And these two are dating now!”

Rey yelped and Ben growled Poe’s name in a warning tone, but they were drowned out by Kaydel’s shriek of joy and Hux looked at Ben for a moment before looking down and straightening his cuffs, apparently trying to hide his grin. “Well, I suppose this is the perfect moment to echo your own words back to you, Solo.” Hux lifted his head, expression serious. “It’s about time.” His face broke into a smile and Ben shook his head.

“I’d appreciate it if POE would stop telling people, considering we haven’t notified HR or actually put a label on it, ourselves,” Rey said, glaring at Poe.

Kaydel, noting Ben’s discomfort (and kindly not mentioning the flush on his cheeks), changed the subject. “So, we have about an hour before our dinner reservations, is there anything we can do to help you all get settled?”

Ben and Rey both said ‘no’ at the same moment Poe practically yelled, “I am _so_ glad you asked. Yes, Solo apparently shipped himself a few cases of bricks and rocks and they need to be carried down here.”

Hux narrowed his eyes in thought. “Yes, I noticed he seems to be in the wrong flat. Why _did_ you switch?” It was Finn’s turn to be uncomfortable and he practically ran back to the staircase, muttering about the last few boxes.

“For my sake,” Rey said evenly, fighting to keep her expression blank.

Poe shot them all a proud grin before following his husband, uncharacteristically quiet for the moment.

Probably a sign he was plotting something.

Kaydel and Hux seemed a bit confused but they didn’t ask, accepting when Ben invited them inside. “I have water and that’s pretty much it until we place a grocery order or get to the store, but it’s warmer and more comfortable than the sidewalk.”

By the time the last of Ben’s boxes had been carried to the downstairs unit originally intended for the Damerons, the group had about fifteen minutes before they needed to leave for the restaurant and they decided to just go early, Finn and Poe quickly volunteering to ride with Hux and Kaydel under the guise of “catching up” and leaving Rey and Ben with the rental car to themselves.

“Could they _be_ more obvious and annoying?” Ben muttered, rolling his eyes and adding an overly dramatic sigh.

“Yes,” Rey said, getting a laugh and a muttered agreement from him. She grabbed his hand in hers, grin wide as she began swinging their arms between them while they walked across the car park.

The team dinner was surprisingly pleasant, even with Mitaka present. Of course, it helped that he was seated at the opposite end of the long table so if he did say anything negative or offensive Rey couldn’t hear it. There were a few other semi-familiar faces from the satellite office as well, all of them perfectly pleasant. Rey sat between Ben and Finn, and across from Kaydel, and at Poe’s insistence they all made an effort to keep conversation away from work as much as possible.

There was also no recurrence of Poe’s announcement that Rey and Ben were dating and she and Ben maintained a friendly but professional air between them.

At least until they returned to the apartment building and she practically dragged him inside with her when he leaned in to kiss her good night after she got her door open.

“Rey—mph,” she cut off any attempt to protest with her lips and, at one point, her hand clapped over his mouth—much to Ben’s amusement.

“Less talking, more kissing,” she muttered, tugging him in the general direction of the sofa. He let her drag him over (stumbling most of the way and pausing about every three feet when they were too distracted to walk) and shove him down. There was a moment of confusion when she leaned in, froze, then stood back up, wringing her hands and staring in the general direction of her feet.

“Rey?”

She took half a step back when he reached for her. “Sorry,” she half-whispered.

“For what?”

She looked at him—finally—and found him blinking at her in confusion. “I…this wasn’t slow, and we have to be up early and I just got all…” she looked away again, gesturing helplessly.

“Rey?” Ben stood up, hands wrapping gently around her wrists. “Rey, slow or fast, it’s up to you, and yes we do have to be up early, but it’s not exactly late yet.” She sucked in a breath and looked up at him. “BUT…and this is the most important thing…BUT regardless of what we do or when, I want you to be absolutely sure it’s what you want. If you’re hesitating now, then it’s not the right time, and I’ll go and we’ll both go to sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.”

She didn’t _want_ to cry, at first didn’t even know _why_ , exactly, tears were threatening to fall from her eyes, but suddenly a tiny voice inside—one she’d thought she stopped listening to long ago—piped up with an insistent refrain of “ _He doesn’t want you.”_ She took a shaky breath, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He did, though, and the next thing she knew she was wrapped up in his arms, head tucked under his chin, and his shirt front was wet.

Eventually he managed to get them both sitting, cuddled together on the couch, and she felt small and safe and unbearably sleepy. “Rey, Sweetheart, you should go to bed.”

“Hm?” She lifted her head and blinked a few times to clear her blurry vision. “Don’t want to,” she said, then, in a small voice, “You’ll leave.”

“Rey? Do you _want_ me to stay? Just to sleep?”

She nodded against his chest.

“I need you to say it, Sweetheart.”

For a long moment she just looked at him, unsure why she was suddenly so very insecure again, and trying to summon the courage to ask for what she wanted. “Please stay, just to sleep.”

“Of course. Can I go change clothes, first, if I promise to come right back?”

Rey hesitated, and he tilted his head as if considering another question. She forced a smile. “So long as you really do come back.”

It was Ben’s turn to hesitate but rather than saying whatever it was he was mulling over, he kissed her forehead and muttered, “Five minutes, tops,” before letting himself out of her apartment.

It took him just over ten before he opened her door again, kicking off his shoes and dropping his keys on the small dining table near the galley kitchen (that was the one feature where Rose and Rey’s current apartment definitely won out). “Sorry, couldn’t find my charger and my phone’s almost dead.” He seemed so worried at having been longer than five minutes that Rey actually managed a laugh. She took him in, hair mussed from where he must have been running his hands through it in frustration, black trackies, and a white T-shirt stretched tight over his shoulders and chest. She wondered if it would be going too far to suggest he at least take off the shirt for ‘just sleeping.’

She resisted asking, though, and grabbed her own oversized shirt and sleep pants before retreating to the small bathroom. When she came out, the living room was mostly dark and Ben was leaning against the wall beside her bedroom door, frowning down at his phone.

“Everything okay?”

He looked up and offered a tired, almost-smile. “Yeah, just emails…annoying…”

She rolled her eyes. “You work too much, Solo.”

“I’m sorry, which of us had to be locked out of the system the week before Poe and Finn got married?”

She made a face but didn’t comment, just grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom. She took three steps into the room and froze, looking from the bed to Ben and back again.

He waited, not saying anything, and she couldn’t read his expression at all. It was one of the moments she wished they had some kind of psychic connection so she could just know what he was thinking. “Are you…does…I forgot how small the bed was. Will you be able to rest?”

She almost missed the slight relaxation in his posture. He’d been braced for…something. Her to change her mind, probably.

He kissed her temple and stepped around to face her. “It will be a tight fit, but it’s bigger than the bed in your apartment and we managed a night there.”

Something about his tone—or maybe thinking about him in _her_ bed—made her flush. Before she could get uncomfortable or start second-guessing herself again, Ben tugged on her hand. “Come on, you need to sleep.”

She opened her mouth to…protest, maybe? She yawned instead.

“See, I told you so.”

Rey walked to the bed and reached under the pillows to grasp at the covers and turn them down. Ben did the same on the opposite side, and she realized how very tired he looked as well. It was strange. It had been a long day, yes, but they’d both gotten some decent sleep the night before.

It almost seemed as if, now that they’d managed to sleep, their bodies remembered what that was like and demanded more to make up for all the missed hours. She crawled into bed and switched off the lamp, almost forgetting to set her alarm before she curled into his arms and passed out.

Despite exhaustion and the fact that sleeping beside Ben was always more restful than any other time in her life, Rey woke an hour before her alarm on Tuesday. She knew she’d never get back to sleep, and she was too antsy to stay in bed without disturbing Ben. She needed to go for a run, and there was certainly time.

According to Ben, there was a park across the street with a couple of level trails, including one around the lake, and most of the area was residential or small, family-owned businesses and relatively safe (certainly more so than some of the neighborhoods she’d frequented over the years).

That decided, she set about extricating herself from his hold—a more challenging task than she had anticipated, particularly when she was trying not to wake him. She managed though and grabbed her clothes and shoes from atop the dresser where she’d put them before leaving for dinner, knowing she’d likely need to burn some excess energy when she woke (and that had been _before_ she asked Ben to stay).

By the time she returned, Ben was just coming out of his door, still wearing the clothes he’d slept in but with some expensive running shoes laced tight. That must have been what he’d gone back for.

“Lazy morning, Solo?” she chirped. “You should have been up for hours now.”

“Someone failed to wake me up,” he grumbled, but there was amusement underneath.

Rey shrugged as she fit her key into the lock. “You needed to sleep, I needed to run.” Her stomach rumbled. “And now I need to shower and eat.”

Ben gave up on whatever he’d been planning to say and gave her a soft smile instead. “You seem better this morning.”

“Yes, just…I guess I was just tired. Travel stress, yeah?” He accepted that but she could tell he wasn’t entirely happy with her explanation. Ben Solo knew she was keeping something from him, and he didn’t like it. She opened the door. “Go for your run, and I’ll shower and get breakfast. I already told Finn and Poe to meet at yours in an hour or so.”

Fortunately, he didn’t argue, just nodded and took two steps away before startling her a bit by turning back and brushing a kiss over her lips. “Last chance to do that before we have to be in work mode,” he muttered, and then he set off down the sidewalk at a jog, headed for the corner and the crosswalk over to the park.

Ben was back a few minutes after Rey returned with food from a small bakery nearby, and she waited in his kitchen for Finn and Poe to join them while he showered and dressed for the day. She nearly choked on a bite of all-butter croissant when he surfaced from the bedroom, hair still damp and deftly knotting a black silk tie around his neck.

Finn did a double take and Poe wolf-whistled before practically yelling, “Damn, Solo, did someone steal your luggage and replace all your clothes?”

Ben made a face. “It’s a shirt, Dameron.”

“But it’s not white…not even black…”

And it wasn’t. He had on black slacks, and Rey was sure there was a matching jacket, but the shirt was grey. That shouldn’t have been a big deal, but aside from the one time his laundry was late and he’d worn a white shirt with blue pinstripes, sleepwear, or the black sweater at Thanksgiving, she’d only ever seen him in crisp white dress shirts.

She liked the grey.

Quite a lot, in fact.

It was Finn who asked if they’d coordinated their clothes.

“What on earth are you talking about, Finn?”

“He does have a point, Rey,” Poe said, gesturing from her black blouse and grey pantsuit to Ben and back.

She ignored him and went back to her breakfast. Poe was ridiculous.

Most of the day passed in a bit of a blur, and they picked up groceries before returning to corporate housing for the night. Rey and Ben actually slept separately that night, because of a late conference call he had to be available for until almost 2 AM, so she didn’t see him until breakfast on Wednesday.

When he came into the room wearing an olive-green shirt, she dropped her fork.

Poe’s teasing resumed when he realized Rey was wearing a mint green sweater set and black pencil skirt. “Completely different colors, Poe,” Rey said, smiling in triumph when Finn took her side.

“Fine, but you’re both wearing green,” Poe said before reaching out and stealing the last blueberry muffin.

On Thursday, Rey forgot to breathe for a moment when Ben arrived at the satellite office an hour after the rest of them thanks to a meeting he’d left for at 6AM.

Purple.

His Thursday shirt was purple.

A deep plum, in fact, and he’d worn a charcoal grey suit with it.

Her pulse fluttered for a moment when he looked her way before turning back to Armitage and following the other man into his office.

She saw Poe look at her lavender shell under a black cardigan, but for once he kept his comments to himself…at least until lunch.

Friday morning Rey was running behind. The others were already in her flat with breakfast (this time provided by Poe and Finn) when she stepped out of her bedroom in the same red shirt she’d worn her first day at SOS (she’d been able to repair some of the damage to the lace trim and it wasn’t noticeable as long as she kept her jacket on) and a black skirt.

Poe started cackling at the table by her tiny kitchen and it was a moment before she realized it was because Ben had arrived while she was dressing and this time, they really did match.

His suit was his favored black, but the shirt…Ben’s shirt was the exact same shade of dark red and they stared at each other in shocked silence for a moment before Rey turned around and went back into the bedroom, face flaming.

She’d laid out her clothes for the week the way she had for months.

Something blue on Monday, grey for Tuesday, green on Wednesday, purple Thursday, and red on Friday.

Poe was right.

It hadn’t been a conscious decision, but since probably her second week at SOS, she had been color-coordinating her clothes with Ben’s.

It just hadn’t been obvious because the only pops of color he had ever worn were in his tie (and occasional pocket square) or socks. She hurried to the closet and grabbed something else—anything else.

When she emerged in the baby pink sweater she went straight for the door. “We’re already late,” she mumbled, accepting a travel mug of coffee from Ben and a bagel from Finn. “Not a word, Poe,” she added in a hiss before leaving the apartment, trusting Ben would lock up for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it, the answer to "Where the heck did that ridiculous title come from?" (not that anyone was wondering but yeah...).
> 
> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA)


	18. Good Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey doesn't realize her friends know what day it is, and it's maybe a little more than she can handle after several very stressful work weeks.
> 
> _Finn and Poe each muttered a sleepy “good night” on the way out the door and Rey slumped forward, arms crossed on the table and head pillowed on top of them. She felt Ben’s broad hand on her back again, after he locked the door behind Poe and Finn. “Rey? Come on, you should go to bed.”_
> 
> _“Nope, ‘m fine, ‘sgoodhere,” she slurred, already half asleep._
> 
> _He moved, kneeling beside her, lips brushing the shell of her ear as he said, “Sweetheart, my bed or yours, I’m too tired to care, but I am not letting you sleep on the table.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost held this chapter back since I just updated Heiress a few hours ago and both new chapters feature (very different) exhaustion and tears (I'd like to say that's coincidence, but I ended up taking extra days off work this week because I was completely run down so...anyway).
> 
> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA) (well, almost all of it…two tracks are still unavailable on Spotify but I keep hoping...

Three weeks in, the project stalled. There was a problem with a permit…or something, and a delay in transit of some materials. Ben spent most of his time at either Andor Machinery or the project installation site (halfway between the SOS Satellite Office and Andor Machinery).

He’d been true to his word that any downtime he had belonged to Rey, but unfortunately, there hadn’t been much down time.

The first weekend they had managed dinner twice (one Chinese delivery and one cooked by Ben) and about half of an old black and white movie before they both fell asleep on the narrow couch in his apartment. Well, Ben was on the couch, and Rey fell asleep _on_ Ben.

Again.

When things got moving again at work, more problems came up, things no one could have prepared for, and Poe was so distracted and exhausted he didn’t even tease them about sleeping arrangements or color coordinated clothing.

They spent a lot of late nights in the small conference room of the satellite office or gathered around the dining table in one of the flats (usually Ben’s).

And on top of the project problems, Cassian was waiting for Rey’s answer.

She just wished she knew what that answer _was_.

Rey was startled from her thoughts (and from glaring down at the pile of papers in front of her) when Ben deposited a mug of tea on the table before her. Poe was sitting across from her, also glaring at his own notes and copies of schematics.

“I just feel like the answer is right in front of us and we aren’t _seeing_ it,” Poe grumbled, leaning back and glaring at the ceiling as Finn put a comforting hand on his arm. Immediately forgetting the tea (which she had, in fact, requested), Rey let her head fall forward as Ben began absently working out the knots in her neck and shoulders.

“It’s Friday, it’s late and you’ve been at this for hours. Everyone needs to get some sleep,” Ben said, sounding exhausted himself.

He’d been running himself ragged, trying to take care of all of them on top of whatever administrative or other responsibilities he’d taken on himself.

Poe didn’t even argue, just glared down at his papers again and announced he refused to take them upstairs and would collect them “sometime before Monday morning.”

Finn and Poe each muttered a sleepy “good night” on the way out the door and Rey slumped forward, arms crossed on the table and head pillowed on top of them. She felt Ben’s broad hand on her back again, after he locked the door behind Poe and Finn. “Rey? Come on, you should go to bed.”

“Nope, ‘m fine, ‘sgoodhere,” she slurred, already half asleep.

He moved, kneeling beside her, lips brushing the shell of her ear as he said, “Sweetheart, my bed or yours, I’m too tired to care, but I am _not_ letting you sleep on the table.”

Oh, that was pleasant, the rumble of his voice, his breath on her skin, and she could smell the faintest traces of the very nice (and expensive—she’d looked it up) cologne he’d put on that morning. She sucked in a breath and forced herself to sit up and look at Ben. He really was just as exhausted as the rest of them—possibly more so.

Probably, even.

“Yours,” she said, reaching out for the buttons on his shirt. His eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise before he winced.

“Rey, I really don’t think—”

“Mkay, don’t think. Sleep tonight, think tomorrow.”

He covered her hands with one of his, stopping her before she got the second button open. “Sweetheart, why, exactly, are you undressing me?”

She blinked a few times and gave him an impish grin. “I’m not asleep, if that’s what you’re thinking, and I don’t actually want to start anything we’re both too exhausted to finish, but you need to change anyway and I need something to sleep in. It’s a classic two birds, one shirt situation.”

“That’s not…no, you know what, never mind.” He stood up with a groan (and she was pretty sure she heard cracking from a couple of his joints), holding a hand out to help her up. “You know I have an entire closet and dresser full of clean clothes you can steal for the night.”

She nodded, rising from the chair and closing the space between them, toying with the button she’d been working at. “I do know that, in fact, but I want this one.”

“ _Why_?”

His confusion (and possibly abject horror that she wanted his dirty shirt when there were plenty of clean ones to be had) was … kind of adorable and Rey couldn’t help herself. She stretched up on her toes and kissed him, just a press of lips, and wrapped her arms around his neck before she told him the truth. “I want this one because it’s already warm and it still smells like you.”

He gave her that look again, the surprised eyes and parted lips, but there was something more to it, a heat in his eyes, a weight to his gaze, and it occurred to her that she was being unfair to both of them when they were so very tired, but it was too late and the realization didn’t actually change the fact that she _really_ wanted his shirt—still warm and smelling like him—against her skin.

She stared up and waited, anxiety creeping in when he didn’t do or say anything for a long moment.

Then he gave her a tired smile and nodded, hair falling into his eyes as he did. “Okay then, okay, that’s…yeah.” He stepped back and started working the buttons open, taking another step when she reached out to help. “Maybe…um, let me, okay…like you said, don’t want to start something…” he muttered, looking down at his hands. Even in the low light from the kitchen—he’d flipped the overheads off when he locked the door—she could see the pink tinge crawling up his neck and face.

She didn’t regret it, not one bit.

Not until he got the shirt off, practically rolling it off his bad shoulder, and her mouth went dry. It took her a moment to come back to herself, distracted at the first real sight of him completely shirtless and he was smirking at her as he was waited for her to take the shirt. Once she had a firm enough hold on the burgundy fabric, he made a face and rubbed at his shoulder.

“Ben? Have you been doing your stretches and the exercises for your shoulder?” She already knew the answer was ‘no’ but she had to ask, anyway.

He pressed his lips firmly together in a thin line and looked away. “Thought not,” she muttered. “I’m going to change,” she said, turning toward the small bathroom. “And I’m calling Bazine tomorrow,” she called back over her shoulder, just before closing the door.

Ben’s response was a string of expletives followed by a deep breath and something she thought was a grumbled “That’s fair.”

By the time Rey returned, Ben had turned out the rest of the lights save for the small lamp on his nightstand, changed into sleep pants and a clean t-shirt (she wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or disappointed about that), and was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her to emerge. He gave her shoulder a squeeze as he headed for the bathroom and she was asleep before he returned.

Ben watched her sleep, unable to shut his own thoughts off enough to relax. Even exhausted with messy hair (and what may or may not be a line of drool coming out of her mouth—okay it definitely was but he’d never tell) Rey was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

He kept going back and forth between kicking himself for not actively pursuing her from the outset and being awed that she would give his unworthy ass the time of day.

He didn’t even mind the absolute torture of taking things at a glacier pace. He’d gotten used to constantly being miserable in pants that were often just suddenly too tight when she was around long before even the Christmas party. It did mean his showers were longer than strictly necessary for washing while he handled that particular issue, but he knew she was worth the wait.

Not that she was making things any easier on him. When she’d started unbuttoning his shirt, and even after she explained her reasoning, he’d been sure his knees weren’t going to hold him up. Then the way she looked at him when he took the shirt off and gave it to her…

If she hadn’t been so exhausted, he would have had her on the kitchen table in a heartbeat…not that it was sturdy enough for that. So really, it was for the best they were both completely worn out.

If only she would trust him enough to tell him what was bothering her. She was holding something back from him, and he was starting to worry he was going to lose her before she was even really his.

It was another hour before he managed to fall into a fitful sleep, plagued by half-remembered nightmares and buried memories.

Rey woke late—for her—Saturday morning to Ben in the tiny kitchen making her breakfast. She slipped in behind him—there was barely enough room between the stove and sink—and wrapped her arms around his waist as he flipped a pancake onto a waiting stack.

“Morning,” she mumbled against his back as he covered her hands with one of his own—the one not currently holding the spatula.

He put the spatula down on a plate he’d apparently gotten out for that purpose before he turned and dropped a kiss on her forehead, hugging her to him. “Morning, Sweetheart. Hungry?”

She made a face and rolled her eyes at him. “As if you have to ask.”

“Here, go ahead and start. This is the last batch,” he said, motioning to three more in the pan as he handed her a plate. Butter, syrup, a bowl of mixed berries, and a can of whipped cream waited on the table. “Oh Ben,” she said with a playful sigh, “I can’t believe you bought _canned_ whipped cream.” He turned to look at her and she shook her head, fighting to keep a neutral expression.

He waved the spatula at her and muttered something she didn’t quite catch, but she was already too busy eating to ask about it and had forgotten by the time he carried his own plate over to the table to join her.

“I’ve made the executive decision to lock all of us out of the system until Monday morning,” he said when he’d cleared his plate.

“ _Ben—_ ”

“No. Everyone has put in a ridiculous amount of time the last two weeks without a day off at all. Finn and Poe are spending the next thirty-six hours at a bed and breakfast with no cell signal, and I was hoping you and I could maybe, _finally_ , manage a real date—the kind where we actually go out and don’t talk about work.”

Her arguments all fluttered away at the idea. She blinked then made a face. “I suppose I have to go shopping then. I didn’t exactly bring date clothes along on a months long business trip.”

“Ah, about that,” he muttered, looking anywhere but at Rey. “I may have…er, you should go next door and check your closet.”

“What did you do?” She practically jumped out of her chair and grabbed her keys from the hook by his door.

“I didn’t…it’s not as bad as you think…I—REY, WAIT!” She froze at the door to his apartment, turning slowly to find his lips twitching as he said, “Maybe, um, maybe put some pants on, first?” She looked down at herself and laughed. She was still wearing his shirt and a pair of thick socks she’d swiped from his drawer because her toes were cold.

“Hm, I don’t know. It’s just over a meter and it’s spring,” she said, biting at her lip to keep her grin from turning into a full smile.

He stood slowly, stalking across the room to where she was leaning back against the door and leaned in over her, one hand on the door above her head for support. “Maybe so,” he said, “but spring or not, it’s still chilly, and you also have to take the time to unlock the door.”

“I suppose that’s true,” she sighed, playfully, trembling with anticipation when he stroked a thumb over her lip and leaned in close enough her vision blurred and doubled from trying to keep him in focus.

His lips were almost touching hers when he whispered, “So you should probably go get dressed while I do the dishes.” She couldn’t hold back a curse when he abruptly stood and walked away from her. She stared, open-mouthed, as he calmly ignored her and began running hot water into the sink.

So that was the game, eh?

Fine.

Ben spun in shock when he heard the door open and then slam shut.

Had she really…

Yes…yes, she had. He heard the jingle of her keys and the neighboring door open and gently close and shook his head, shutting off the water and drying his hands quickly before following her. She’d left the door unlocked, and one of his ‘borrowed’ socks was just past the entryway. The other was by the coffee table, and there was a lump of red fabric just outside her bedroom door.

_Not. Fair._

He swallowed hard and turned the lock behind him.

“Rey?”

“In here,” she called. “And even somewhat decent.”

He wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed at that.

Rey was bundled into a fluffy robe and staring at the three garment bags in her closet. “When?” she asked (demanded, really) without looking at him.

“Ah, this morning? Before you woke up? At least that’s when I brought them over. I…may have had them for a while.”

She turned and looked at him, studying him in silence. “Wh—um, why?”

He just blinked at her. “Because I wanted you to have them. The ones I bought anyway. It’s—they’re not all from me.” She looked at him a moment longer then turned back. He saw the incremental widening of her eyes when she saw the small cards (well, hastily folded pieces of paper) pinned to each bag. She reached out and opened the first, gasping as she read the short note. “Keep going, Sweetheart,” he said, stepping closer. She lifted the second piece of paper, instantly recognizing Poe’s messy scrawl and Finn’s neat block lettering. He placed a hand on her back as a tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it aside and reached for the final note, gasping for breath as she fought valiantly not to let the rest of the tears fall when she read the note in Rose’s rounded, happy script and the p.s. in Paige’s precise, small lettering that Rey shouldn’t worry because everyone had used her employee discount.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against him as she covered her face and began to cry in earnest. “Happy birthday, Rey,” he whispered against the top of her head, feeling horrible about it when she cried even harder. She turned and buried her face in his chest, tears soaking into his shirt and he just held her and waited.

Eventually she calmed and looked up at him, eyes red-rimmed and swollen and lashes spiky and clumped from her tears. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“Why?”

She shrugged and rested her head against him again. “I just…I didn’t mean to get all teary and ruin the surprise.”

Well that just wasn’t acceptable. Ben grasped her upper arms and urged her back half a step before cupping her face in his hands and forcing her to look him in the eye. “Rey, you didn’t ruin anything. It’s…I know it’s a difficult day.”

She paused, made a face. “Rose?” she asked.

“Yeah. And Paige. And Finn. And Poe. It’s why they asked me to do this privately. They knew you’d probably have…conflicting emotional reactions,” he muttered, wincing a bit at how it sounded as he pulled her back in against his chest, locking his arms around her shoulders. “And I promise not to bring it up the rest of the day if you don’t want, as long as you’ll at least look at them, and maybe open the packages from Hux and Kaydel and my parents.” Rey gasped but he kept going. “Oh, and Bazine sent something but it’s still next door. And Amilyn said she’d mailed a card. Maz said Chewie would wait for you to get back to town for your usual, whatever that is. I feel like I’m forgetting someone, though…”

She slumped against him and he was fairly certain that if he weren’t already practically holding her up, she would have fallen. He looked down at her face, worrying a bit at the shock he saw there. She opened her mouth a few times as if to speak, then just shook her head and pressed the side of her face against his chest again.

He held her and waited, letting her work through what she needed to, but never leaving her. That was probably her favorite gift—ever. She still half-expected everyone in her life to turn tail and flee when things got messy (and Rey knew, when she cried, it was always messy). He’d moved them to her bed, sitting against the headboard and pulling her into his lap. She nearly fell asleep again, soothed by his hands gently rubbing at her back and arms, running through her hair, and the sound of his heartbeat beneath her ear. With a valiant effort, she managed to raise her head and look at him, leaning in to press a soft, chaste kiss to his mouth.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “for being you.”

He looked surprised, and she thought he was going to argue, but all he did was ask if she was feeling better.

“Yes. I suppose I just needed to get that out.”

“Do you…ah, do you want to see what you got?”

She nodded and found she was able to smile again. She thought Ben might be more excited than she was.

She started with the one from Paige and Rose, unzipping the bag to reveal a black jumpsuit with a dangerously low neckline. She recognized it as one Paige had urged her to try on one afternoon not long before Poe and Finn got married, and she’d refused after seeing the brand name and price tag. The bottom of the bag was heavy and she realized there was another zippered compartment with shoes, a belt, and some nice but not overly expensive jewelry. The bag itself was nearly luggage quality.

Her hands were shaking as she reached for the bag from Finn and Poe, and she had to try three times just to grasp the zipper. She laughed as she was greeted by jeans, a simple tee, and flat soled boots (still more than she would have spent on herself), and she knew without a doubt Finn had picked it all after hearing her whine one too many times about wanting almost this exact outfit.

Taking a breath to steel herself, she quickly opened the bag from Ben, unsure what to expect but sure she was going to cry again.

She gasped at the three dresses, each wrapped in individual plastic.

She recognized them all.

The blue and purple were the ones she’d been debating between purchasing for Bazine’s wedding, before he cancelled and she sprained her ankle, and the deep gray one she had spotted while waiting for Ben to come to her rescue that day, mentioning to Paige in passing that she liked that one best. She felt Ben step up behind her, slipping his arms around her and leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “You’re not alone, Rey, and you never will be again.”

She hadn’t cried again when inspecting the contents of the garment bags, but that, just the one statement, was enough to get her started again. She hadn’t known exactly why she was crying before, other than being completely overwhelmed, but this time, with Ben’s words still echoing in her head, she knew they were good tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh...that whole bit with the dresses and it being Rey's birthday was supposed to be one paragraph, tops, and I had decided to scrap the idea of it being her birthday. She was going to get the two dresses (not three) from Ben as a just because surprise and I was going to write an actual, real date for them.
> 
> Was.
> 
> Anyway, that means first actual pre-planned, no one else involved, no work or social commitments, real date night in the next chapter and this will probably be closer to 25 chapters than 20 at this rate. I can hear my other stories and list of pending ideas and drafts crying now (laughs and rubs hands together deviously).


	19. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey FINALLY manage a real first date, and a painfully honest conversation about their relationship.
> 
> _“Thank you,” she said softly, smiling up at him as she turned around and reached for the doorknob, grabbing the small clutch bag on the table beside the door as she moved. She waited until he’d followed her out and locked the door for her before adding, “but I wasn’t shivering from cold.”_
> 
> _That same look crossed his face again, and for a moment she thought he might toss her over his shoulder and drag her back inside. He didn’t though, didn’t even say anything, just stared at her for a long moment before he blinked and took a step, holding his arm out for her to take and leading her to the rental car._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex on the first date isn't moving too fast when it's taken them so long to actually DATE, right? I know this has been a glacially slow burn (possibly more frostbite at this point) but they needed to get through some stuff to get here.
> 
> Um, don't expect too much, I feel like it took so long to get to this point that I absolutely will not be able to ever do justice to what these two deserve.
> 
> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA) (well, almost all of it…two tracks are still unavailable on Spotify but I keep hoping...)  
> Songs specifically influencing this chapter are "Scare Me" by Kenny Chesney, "Undone" by Joe Nichols (this one applies to the previous and next chapters as well), "Stripped" by Shiny Toy Guns, and "Black" by Dierks Bentley.

Rey made good on her promise (threat) to call Bazine, using Ben’s phone and leaving him to talk to Baz and attempt to rationalize once again why he simply _couldn’t_ take care of himself. Bazine wasn’t buying it any more than usual, and Rey almost felt bad for calling her when she spent an hour lecturing Ben.

At least that was what the text he sent her claimed.

Rey spent the time showering and deciding what to wear. It would have been easier if Ben would give her some clue of what they were doing.

Dinner and a movie?

Just dinner?

A couple hours browsing the bookstore?

A romantic sunset walk?

Mini golf?

She made a face. No, definitely not mini golf, although the idea of dragging Ben onto a course full of miniature building facades shorter than him had a certain appeal. She’d have to remember that for later.

She froze, midway across the bedroom.

_Later._

The blank draft screen of her email client glared at her from the small desk in the corner.

Would there be a later?

She’d started her reply to Cassian several times. Sometimes it was an unequivocal yes, others a definite no, but most often some variation of ‘I don’t know, I need more time.’

Eventually time would run out. It always did.

She shook her head. She needed to focus on tonight. Cassian had waited this long for an answer. Maybe by morning Rey would know which one to give him.

Ben glared at the blank screen of his iPad. Bazine had lectured him for half an hour before demanding he switch over to video and go through the various stretches and exercises his physical therapist and doctor wanted him doing, so she could supervise.

The lecture had continued almost seamlessly, interspersed with such ever-so-helpful comments as _sad, poor form, try harder,_ and a demand he do pretty much all of it again.

“I hate you,” he grumbled near the end.

“Oooh, say it again,” she drawled, before snapping out, “Seven more, Solo, get to work.” He grumbled curses at her while she laughed and they ended the video call after she extracted a promise from him to get back on routine (backed by her not-idle threat of pulling Rey in next time).

He sighed and put the iPad away, trying to decide which of his plans and reservations to keep for the evening.

He may have gone a bit overboard, unable to decide what to do. He kept leaning toward dinner and dancing, wanting a do-over of their almost kiss on the dance floor at Poe and Finn’s wedding—this time without being interrupted by cake—but there was also an envelope with theater tickets currently on his dresser, and he may have reserved movie tickets…and a table at a different restaurant.

Hell, he’d even considered mini golf.

But it was their first _real_ date, and her birthday, or at least the day that had been put into her records…the day her parents had left her.

He winced. He was overthinking this.

But…shouldn’t he? Shouldn’t he put careful consideration and planning into this?

He growled out a curse and reached for his phone, fumbling at the screen and back spacing a few times to correct typos, before sending a message.

Rey laughed at the message preview on her mobile screen.

 _Overthinking, huh?_ _Sooooo unlike you, Solo._

She actually heard his short bark of laughter through the wall and sent him a message saying so. He sent another message, fairly long, and asking which date activities she preferred from his list of options.

_What? No mini golf?_

She didn’t give him an opportunity to reply before following up with a request to know what show the theater tickets were for, and whether they could also work in dinner around the show times. His reply had been to tell her to have a snack because dinner would have to be after the end of the traveling production of _The Play That Goes Wrong_.

She laughed just because she was happy, put her mobile back on the charger and hovered in front of the closet.

The gray dress was her favorite, but her eyes kept wandering back to the purple. It was slightly longer, more form fitting, and strapless. She might freeze, as it was still getting cool after dark, but they’d be inside most of the time and she _did_ have her coat.

The coat Ben had chosen specifically for her when she hadn’t even realized he knew her well enough to do that.

She reached for the garment bag and hesitated, wondering if it was too formal, before deciding she didn’t really care, extracting the dress, and laying it out on the bed. It didn’t seem to have any major creases or wrinkles, so that was good. She turned to the chest of drawers and sorted through, picking up lace trimmed satin and holding it next to nearly transparent mesh, discarding both, and reaching for a bundle of silk before wrinkling her nose and dropping it to start the entire process over again.

She was picky about her underthings sometimes, but never to this level.

Of course, she had to admit, she was hoping she wouldn’t be the only one to see them this time, which explained her hesitation.

She shook her head and looked at the messy pile of lingerie before reaching for her mobile and tapping out a quick message that Ben wasn’t the only one overthinking.

She almost asked his favorite color—had actually typed out the question, complete with punctuation since Ben was such a fan, but had second thoughts and deleted it before sending.

Black. She’d go with classic, basic black. That eliminated almost half the options at least.

The look on Ben’s face when she opened the door was _almost_ enough to make her suggest they cancel and stay in for the night.

Almost.

But she really wanted to go out somewhere, and, maybe, show him off a bit while staking her claim. They needed to stay professional at work, and most of the time they spent together was work or work-adjacent.

He presented her with a wide mouthed vase of white daisies, tied with a black and white gingham ribbon.

“I, uh, I hope it’s okay that I went ahead and put them in the vase so you didn’t have to. I’ve always thought you shouldn’t have to work for something that was supposed to be a gift.”

His grin was shy ( _shy!)_ and she was fairly certain he was blushing, just a bit.

“They’re absolutely perfect,” she said, placing them on the kitchen table and fiddling with the vase until it was exactly centered, with the bow angled evenly between the living room area and the door.

She turned to find Ben just sort of lounging in the doorway in that way he’d clearly picked up from his father. Something about the way he looked at her made her shiver.

“Oh! Sorry! I’m an idiot!” He jumped and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “You have a coat, right? Because that dress is amazing but it’s a little chilly.”

She nodded and pointed at the hook by the door. Without another word he grabbed her coat and held it up so Rey could slip it on, resting his hands on her shoulders for just a moment and, she thought, lightly kissing the top of her head.

“Thank you,” she said softly, smiling up at him as she turned around and reached for the doorknob, grabbing the small clutch bag on the table beside the door as she moved. She waited until he’d followed her out and locked the door for her before adding, “but I wasn’t shivering from cold.”

That same look crossed his face again, and for a moment she thought he might toss her over his shoulder and drag her back inside. He didn’t though, didn’t even say anything, just stared at her for a long moment before he blinked and took a step, holding his arm out for her to take and leading her to the rental car.

Ben grumbled about their balcony seats at the theater, in the center of the very back row, but she just shushed him and settled in, taking his hand and idly running her fingers over the contours as they waited for the show to start.

The seats turned out to be phenomenal, perfectly positioned to see the entirety of the stage as well as the pit and aisles with no obstructions. Rey laughed until she cried, and they both had trouble breathing, and she suspected that was why the people in front of them moved seats after intermission.

Oh well, their loss. The show was hilarious and both Rey and Ben needed the tension release of the uncontrollable laughter. When the show let out, they sat in companionable silence waiting for the aisles to clear rather than getting caught up in the bottle-necking crowd all vying for the door. Rey yawned in spite of herself, and she saw Ben notice. He didn’t comment immediately, seeming to be considering what to say, before he leaned in and asked her if they needed to skip dinner. She refused that, insistent she was fine, and the rumble from her stomach was also a vote in favor of food.

The restaurant wasn’t terribly far, and it was more upscale than Rey was generally comfortable with but not nearly the level of sophisticated snobbery that she had initially been concerned about. “Is this okay?” Ben asked, a worried wrinkle in his brow as they waited to be shown to their table. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but I also wanted to take you somewhere nice.”

The fact that he knew her that well made her breath catch and she placed a hand on his forearm and smiled up at him. “It’s perfect, Ben, absolutely perfect.”

The food was phenomenal, and she didn’t argue too hard when he insisted that she ignore prices and order appetizers, an entrée, and dessert. She agreed on the condition that they at least share the dessert, but his counteroffer of her getting to try two different desserts if they each ordered one allowed him the upper hand in the negotiation. “You’re kind of impossible, Jackson,” he said, a goofy grin on his face and eyes shining as he stared at her from across the table.

“You should be used to that by now, Solo,” she said. “After all, it’s part of my charm.” Whatever he had been planning to say in response was interrupted by the arrival of dessert.

They stayed mostly quiet on the drive back, holding hands most of the way, and Rey was genuinely surprised she didn’t fall asleep. After parking the rental car in the assigned spot, Ben grinned over at her. “So, Ms. Jackson, may I see you safely to your door?”

“Why, how gallant of you, Mr. Solo. Yes, please do.” She took his arm again, leaning into him as they walked. They stopped at her door, and she stared expectantly up at him, wanting a kiss, wanting to ask him inside, but suddenly too shy and nervous to speak.

“Thank you for an amazing night, Sweetheart,” he said, reaching out to tilt her chin up a little more before leaning in for a chaste press of his lips against hers. Just that was enough to make her tremble, and she grasped at the lapels of his suit jacket for balance.

“I think…you…we…come inside, Ben. _Please._ ”

He stared at her for a moment, considering, before nodding, and she spun around, fumbling for her keys and then struggling to unlock the door with trembling fingers. They stumbled through the door when it finally gave way, and Rey dropped her bag on the table by the flowers he’d given her only hours before. She was shrugging out of her coat when he locked the door and turned around, and she let it fall to the ground when he looked at her.

He was on her before the fabric settled around her feet, one hand on her hip and the other on her neck, thumb stroking up over her jaw as he kissed her in a way that was the absolute opposite of chaste. They’d kissed frequently, made out heavily even, but this kiss…she opened her mouth for him and sighed…this kiss was like the one after the company holiday party.

Ben’s tongue stroked over hers and he groaned, clutching her to him so that there was no space between them. She wrapped her arms around his neck and strained up onto her toes to reach him better, and he somehow managed to find the coordination to walk the few steps to get her to the couch without ever breaking the kiss, at least not until he sat down and tugged her down across his lap. The hem of her dress bunched indecently high on her thighs, revealing the lacy tops of her stockings and the straps of the garters holding them up.

Ben reached down, tracing the lace with one thumb. “Is this okay?” he asked, looking at her. She nodded, and luckily, he accepted that as answer enough because she didn’t think she could form words as his touch trailed higher, tracing over her skin and following the garter almost to her hip. She gasped and squirmed, nearly sliding off his lap before he tightened his other arm around her.

He kissed her again, lightly, before trailing his lips down her neck, tongue darting out over the hollow of her throat before moving further down, nuzzling the skin above the top of the dress while his fingers just repeated the same path along her thigh, tracing from the stocking top almost to her hip and back down.

When his hand shifted on the next pass, moving to the inside of her thigh, she shifted and opened her legs wider almost before she realized she was doing it, gasping as he drew so very close then away again. Rey squirmed, needing his touch elsewhere, and firmer, but unable to actually say so. She reached out, grasping his wrist and pulling his hand higher, back to where he’d stopped.

_Where he’d stopped._

The flash of panic was momentary, no more than a split second, but he saw it and pulled away from her hold. She whined in frustration when he sat up with a groan and moved his hand to her knee, giving her a serious look. “Rey, I think we need to talk about this before anything else happens.”

“Really? _Now?_ ”

“Yes, Rey, now, although I admit we should have earlier.”

She huffed and tried not to roll her eyes.

He was right, she _knew_ he was, and maybe if she weren’t so very turned on and frustrated, she would be grateful, so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then another, before nodding and looking at him again.

“Our relationship has been…”

“Frustrating?” she offered. “Unusual? Difficult? Somewhat backwards?”

His lips twitched the way they did when he was trying not to smile.

“Yes, all of that. We work together, and even though I am not your direct supervisor anymore, I am technically still your boss. We’ve been able to sort of skip over the more awkward parts of officially dating and haven’t even had to report anything to HR yet because we didn’t actually manage to have a _date_ until tonight.” She bit her lip, knowing as well as he did that they really had been flouting the rules for a while now, barely skirting by because they hadn’t been ‘official’ and everyone around them was encouraging the relationship (except for Mitaka, but he barely counted).

“I know we’ve talked about taking it slow, and I think we both know glaciers move at a faster pace, but I also think we need to stop talking around what we want and actually say it.”

“Communication has been a problem, I’ll admit,” she agreed, shifting to slide off his lap and lean against him from the side. She sighed and resituated herself, head on his shoulder—or as close as she could get without the added height of being in his lap. “I just…Ben, I’m scared, all the time.”

It actually hurt to admit it.

“Sweetheart, what are you scared of?”

She took a shaky breath. “Of this,” she said, waving a hand between them, “Of us.” He waited, patient, and she made herself look him in the eye, even though she was terrified of what she might see there.

“I just…everyone leaves me, Ben. I’ve never been enough for anyone, never _had_ anyone, not that I could rely on, at least not until I met Rose and she just sort of adopted me.” She paused, smiling softly at the thought of her bubbly roommate and first real friend. “And I…the things I feel for you…this is big, and it’s a lot to process, and after what happened in…”

“In December,” he finished for her, voice hard and jaw clenched as he looked away from her.

“Yes, in December,” she said softly. “You were right, to stop things, I was too drunk to consent, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to, and I was also drunk enough that when you sent me home…when it felt like you didn’t want me that way—”

“It was another rejection,” he cut in, finishing for her as her voice broke, and she nodded, glad she hadn’t had to say the words herself. “I’m sorry, Rey, so sorry for hurting you, but not for sending you home that night. It would have been a mistake not to.” He paused, almost as if steeling himself for whatever he was planning to say next.

“I think…I think you’re it for me, Rey. I meant it earlier when I said you’d never be alone again. You have a whole family you’ve built around you, and, well, I’m not going anywhere. Because I love you.”

The dam broke and she started sobbing, wailing out a choked, “I love you too,” as he stared in bewildered terror.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said, once she could actually speak again, clinging to him in desperation.

“Not exactly how I imagined this going,” he said, resettling her in his arms, and she snorted out a laugh, getting a look and that trying-not-to-smile lip quirk from him again.

“I do love you Ben, I do, so much,” she whispered, tilting her face up.

“But?”

“No buts, really, just...”

“Whatever secret you’ve been keeping from me has you scared.”

She looked down. “I didn’t think you’d noticed,” she muttered, before pausing and looking back up at him. “No, that’s not true. I’d hoped you wouldn’t notice, not until I figured it out.”

“Rey, whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.”

She nodded and yawned before tilting her chin up. “I know I’ve spoiled the mood with the tears and the snorting, but…kiss me again?”

He did so, and despite the break in mood, finally having said the words, finally admitting their feelings, brought the need roaring back, and Rey found herself being lowered onto her back on the narrow couch as Ben attempted to settle over her. When his hand ventured below her skirt again, he didn’t stop, venturing higher and his eyes bulged and he made a shocked sort of choking sound when he encountered only soft skin.

“You aren’t…you didn’t…y—” he trailed off, mouth still working but no sound coming out.

Rey laughed at his reaction and nodded, then bit her lip, unsure whether to admit what had led to her decision.

It was a night for truths, though, and she decided that this, at least, she would tell him. “I, ah, I had a bit of an indecisive moment. I...well, I may have been hoping things would progress enough tonight that I wouldn’t be the only one to see what I was wearing underneath the dress,” she said, glancing away as she felt the blush rise on her cheeks. “But you see, there’s an issue with stockings and garters. If you wear them over your underwear, it’s smoother and a more aesthetically pleasing look, but for practicality’s sake, the underwear should go on last, otherwise even just going to the loo becomes an exercise in dressing and undressing and I…well, I couldn’t decide which way to go and I just, left them off.”

“I—” he paused and cleared his throat. “I’m not…you won’t hear any complaints from me about that decision,” he finally managed, and she grinned at him.

“Well, that is a relief.”

“I…can I…I want… _show me._ ” He sat up and ran a hand through his hair and she watched in confusion. “You said you might have been hoping you weren’t the only one to see what was under the dress,” he said, foot tapping nervously against the floor and hand making a mess of his hair yet again. “Will you show me?”

She nodded silently, struggling to a sitting position and then standing in front of him as she reached back for the low zipper and lowered it, letting the purple fabric fall until it caught on her hips, pushing it the rest of the way down, and the look on his face made everything worth it.

She felt beautiful, powerful.

Desired.

She placed her hands on her hips. “Well Solo? I showed you. What next?”

She yelped and giggled as Ben practically launched himself off the couch and scooped her up, tossing her onto the bed after he made it into the other room in a handful of long, quick strides.

He must have finally kicked his shoes off somewhere between the couch and the bed, and his jacket and tie were still in the living room, so when he climbed onto the bed with her, she immediately reached for the buttons on his shirt as he practically devoured her lips, like he was planning to drink her from the mouth down. Once she had about half the buttons open, he rose up and tugged the shirt off over his head, not bothering with unbuttoning the rest of it. She fumbled at his belt and he grabbed her hands, holding them gently in place. “Not just yet,” he said. “There’s something else I want to do and I don’t want to be distracted.”

She opened her mouth to ask what he was talking about, but he leaned over her again, mouth trailing along the top of the black, lace trimmed torsolette she had on. He lavished attention on every bit of skin he could reach before shifting down, kissing her hips and along the edges of the garters, down to the top of one stocking then moving to the other leg to travel back up.

She whimpered when she felt the heat of his breath over her center, rolled her hips in silent plea, and nearly growled at him when he lifted his head to look at her and ask, “Is this okay?”

The smirk on his lips made it clear he already knew the answer and she reached for him, opening her mouth to allow the string of curses building on her tongue to escape, but all that came out was a sharp gasp at the first touch of his mouth, a firm kiss just above her clit as he grabbed at her thighs and spread them farther apart, then used his thumbs to spread her open for him. Her hands wound into his hair as he leaned in and went to work in earnest, long, slow, teasing licks making her beg for more as his hands held her thighs, allowing only minimal movement on her part as he explored every fold and crevice at his leisure.

If she hadn’t been so desperately wound up, she might have even consciously acknowledged that he was getting acquainted with her body, learning which pressure where was just right, and what was too much and might ruin the slow build up he was working towards. As it was, she gasped and cried out and tugged at his hair until he finally gave in. He released the hold on her thighs and thrust his tongue inside her a few times before moving his attention higher and sliding his middle finger inside the cruelly abandoned entrance to her body.

It didn’t take long after, his lips and tongue focused on a singular goal, and Rey arched her back and screamed for him as she came. She heard what might be a low chuckle from Ben as she panted for breath and dimly realized she had been babbling, although she had no idea what she’d said. He shifted and she heard him fumbling in the nightstand drawer where they had agreed to keep condoms in both apartments for whenever they decided the time was right (Ben’s suggestion, after they got carried away and only stopped themselves from making a very unsafe decision because Poe had come by at just the right moment).

She waited, floating in the afterglow of what she was fairly certain was her best orgasm to date, until he hovered back over her. “Rey? You okay?” She nodded. “Still with me, Sweetheart?” She forced her eyes open, offering what she suspected was a dopey, sated grin, then blinking at the concern on his face. “We can stop,” he said, and she gasped and locked her legs around him.

“Ben Solo, don’t you dare!” she said…yelled really, getting another of those pleased chuckles from him.

“Okay, as long as you’re sure,” he said with a naughty grin, shifting around to line himself up with her and she gasped and arched her back at the first press of him inside her.

She bit her lip and nodded frantically. “So sure, Ben, very sure, oh God, don’t stop!”

“Slow and steady wins the race,” he muttered, eyes closed and head dropping to her shoulder as he pushed slowly forward.

“What race?” she mumbled, “Who’s racing? This is a team sport—oh! That’s nice,” she said, as he pulled back and slowly pressed forward again. She shifted a bit, moving her hips to meet him, urging him on, and wrapped her legs more securely around him, locking her ankles and then wrapping her arms around him and muttering curses at the realization that she still had the lingerie on and it was keeping her from pressing all of her skin against him.

“We could stop and take it all off,” he said, “Probably should have, in fact, because as much as I appreciate the look, I assume it can’t be comfortable.”

She shook her head, muttering against his neck. “No, no, maybe next time but I swear by all that is holy, if you stop I will strangle you with your own tie.”

He kissed her then, and she made a noise that she didn’t recognize as he increased the pace and force of his thrusting. “Love you, Rey, I love you, so much,” he muttered against the skin of her neck, and she could hear the bed creaking and the headboard starting to rattle against the wall.

“Gonna…oh…not going to make it…very long time…can you, again?” he muttered, and she thought she knew what he was trying to say. She nodded, already feeling it building as he lifted himself up and she slid one hand down to where their bodies met.

She wasn’t sure which of them was first, and it was close enough to claim they finished together. “See, Solo, team sport, everybody wins,” she muttered, running her hands up and down his back as he lay collapsed on top of her.

“Sorry, do better next time,” he mumbled before rolling off of her and disposing of the condom in the small trash can by the bed. Rey made a mental note to take the trash out before the cleaning service came for the week. It was only polite.

He stretched out and she settled in beside him with a happy sigh before realizing the torsolette was pinching her and struggling to sit up and tug at it.

Between them, they managed to get it unhooked, and she reached down for the garters and stockings, finally getting all of it off and tossing it unceremoniously to the floor before pausing. She turned slowly, arching her back just so, as she realized Ben still hadn’t seen her topless, and after what they’d just done, she felt absolutely no hesitation in putting on a bit of a show for him. “Do you like what you see, Mr. Solo?” she purred, loving the way his eyes were locked on her breasts as he licked his lips.

He seemed _hungry_.

“Can I—”

She cut off his question, grabbing his hands and placing them over her breasts and closing her eyes at the sensation of his hands on her newly bared skin.

Round two wouldn’t be far off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, so yeah, once again a chapter did NOT go the way I had planned. That brief instant of panic was originally going to be a full blown panic attack which brought things to a halt, and any and all declarations were supposed to be another chapter or two away, but I like this better so I let Ben and Rey have their way and change it up a bit.
> 
> The bit about the traveling production of The Play That Goes Wrong and the people in front of them not coming back after intermission really happened. My husband and I saw the show with some friends, and laughed so hard we couldn't breathe properly and started seeing spots from lack of oxygen. The people in front of us changed seats during intermission and while we assume there was a logical explanation like the show wasn't sold out and closer seats were available, we like to think it annoyed them that we enjoyed it so much.


	20. Deciding Factors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is out of time. Cassian needs her decision, and Ben needs to know what she's been holding back from him, but how can she choose between the two things she most wants?
> 
> _“I could get used to this,” Ben muttered, sipping at the perfect brew as Rey settled in against him with a happy sigh. She stiffened and he felt it again, that foreboding, impending dread. She didn’t say anything, just took a deep breath, sipped her coffee, and slowly relaxed in his lap. His free hand almost absently massaged her hip and thigh, and she relaxed further._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this one. Finishing Heiress brought the inevitable writing slump/hangover, and things were extra stressful at work the last couple of weeks.
> 
> I also had to cut three more scenes that I REALLY wanted to include, and am still trying to decide whether to post them to Upside Down, Inside Out or hold them in reserve for future stories. With the way the previous chapter turned out it would have been moving backwards and just not made any sense to keep them.
> 
> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA)

Rey was shocked to learn she’d slept until after eleven on Sunday morning. Sure, she and Ben had been up most of the night and only slept when exhaustion finally demanded, but she’d never in her life slept so late, and she had no memory of the last time she’d slept so many consecutive hours. Peacefully at that.

Despite the twinging of rarely used muscles that had gotten quite the workout, she felt…rested. Refreshed, even.

Even more shocking, Ben was still fast asleep beside her, on his stomach with one arm flung over her and snoring softly. She couldn’t quite tell but suspected he was hanging off the bed a bit, not that it seemed to be a problem at the moment.

She watched him sleep, trying to decide if she could ignore the demands of her bladder and just stay in that same spot, maybe forever.

Sadly, not.

She shifted her body, intending to sit up, and Ben’s arm tightened around her. “Stay,” he mumbled, face burrowing into her hair and his leg swinging across her. He was still asleep. She pushed gently at his arm and he pulled her tighter against him, grumbling.

She hated to wake him, she really did, but there would be a rather embarrassing accident if she didn’t manage an escape very shortly.

“Ben,” she said softly, hand patting lightly at the arm around her. “Ben, I need to get up.”

“Mine. Never leave,” he mumbled against her neck.

“Yes, yours, absolutely, but I need to get up.”

She felt it then, the change in him, the new tension in his body and the change in his hold on her and the weight of his leg across her. He raised his head and blinked a few times before giving her a soft, sleepy smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she whispered back, returning the smile.

She patted his arm. “Let me up, please.”

“Don’t want to,” he mumbled, sounding almost like he’d gone back to sleep.

“Too bad, Mr. Solo, sir, I need the loo and then lunch.”

He sighed and turned onto his back, releasing his hold with a great deal of reluctance. He watched her slip from the bed and she paused about halfway to the door, bending to retrieve his shirt from where it landed when he pulled it off and tossed it aside the previous night. She tugged it on over her head, shooting him what she hoped was a saucy grin and toying at the buttons a moment before she slipped from the room and padded across the apartment to the small bathroom.

Or, tried to.

Her thigh muscles were…not thrilled with the increase in activity the day before, and when she moved wrong there were some unpleasant twinges and deep aches in other areas as well. It made her stumble and hobble a bit, but she thought she’d managed to stay quiet enough Ben wouldn’t know.

When she emerged after attending to the needs of her body, and then washing off the minimal (but smeared and ridiculous looking) make up and brushing her teeth, Ben was standing across the room, dressed (sadly) in the black joggers he’d left in her apartment slung low on his hips and leaning against the wall next to the bedroom door with his arms crossed. He looked a bit put out and for one terrified moment she thought he’d found out about the offer from Cassian Andor and was angry she hadn’t told him.

“You should have said something.”

She actually jumped a bit, wincing at the low twinge that went through her. “What?”

“You can barely walk. Clearly I hurt you.”

Oh. _Oh._

“No. I mean, yes, but not…it’s not like you’re thinking.” It was clear he didn’t believe her and she needed him to understand before he got lost in his own assumptions and self-recrimination. “Ben, really, it’s not…you didn’t hurt me like you’re thinking. It’s like I skipped leg day for an entire month and then did double reps instead of easing back into things. It’s…you aren’t the only one who hadn’t done that in a long time, and yes, I am a bit sore, but you didn’t _hurt_ me.” She’d managed to cross the room without stumbling and she was moving almost normally by the time she reached him.

“Are you _sure_?”

“ _Yes,_ Ben, I am absolutely certain.” She stretched up on her toes to kiss him and he bent to meet her halfway, a bare brush of lips before she settled back on her feet and grinned up at him. “But if you’re that concerned, I suppose you could always kiss it better later.”

He laughed and just seemed more relaxed. Not _actually_ relaxed, oh no, conscious Ben Solo was never relaxed, but _more_ relaxed than when she’d stepped into the main room. “Hm, that may be something I need to do,” he said, bending down to kiss her again before heading into the bathroom himself.

Rey had coffee waiting when he came back out, and she handed him a mug with a cheeky grin. “Coffee, Mr. Solo? It’s black, you know, like your soul.”

“As the first cup should be, Ms. Jackson,” he said, taking a seat on the couch. Rey took the opportunity to settle herself across his lap before retrieving her own coffee (with cream and a splash of salted caramel flavoring syrup, thank you very much) from the side table.

“I could get used to this,” Ben muttered, sipping at the perfect brew as Rey settled in against him with a happy sigh. She stiffened and he felt it again, that foreboding, impending dread. She didn’t say anything, just took a deep breath, sipped her coffee, and slowly relaxed in his lap. His free hand almost absently massaged her hip and thigh, and she relaxed further.

“So, we definitely need food,” Rey said, “But I don’t want to move from this spot. I suppose we could have something delivered, but we would still have to move far enough to get to a phone or tablet and place the order, and then answer the door when it got here.”

“That is a problem,” he said, letting her redirect his focus (or at least part of it) for a bit. He wanted to ask— _wanted_ to demand—that she tell him…whatever it was that was bothering her. But she wasn’t ready, and he needed to trust her, even if it seemed she didn’t trust him.

Besides, it wasn’t like he’d told her everything either.

He _needed_ to trust Rey, probably did trust her more than anyone else, even Poe, but he had his own issues there.

If only emotions were logical.

He sipped at his coffee and maybe held her a little tighter.

When they finally parted, too hungry to avoid the world any longer, Ben found his phone first and cursed. She didn’t even get a question out before he kissed her forehead, mumbled that there was a work emergency and he’d be right back, and shoved his credit card at her while practically ordering her to get them both whatever she wanted for lunch.

Work crises be damned, she wasn’t his assistant, she was his… _girlfriend?_ Maybe?

Well, that felt rather juvenile.

Not incorrect (although they hadn’t actually discussed terms and titles) just a little immature for whatever this was.

She shrugged and glanced down at his card in her hand.

He did technically owe her breakfast too…

She placed the order and headed for the shower.

By the time she stepped back out, clean and dressed in yoga pants and a simple tee, with her hair still damp and loose around her shoulders, Ben was back and sitting at the tiny kitchen table, laptop, tablet, and two phones in front of him, and he’d thrown on jeans and a black jumper (she was beginning to suspect he had several).

He froze when she stepped into the room, staring at her much the way he had the previous night. It was confusing, considering she was wearing what was basically her comfiest (and most faded and worn out) pajamas.

“Hey, Beautiful,” he said, studying her carefully, and apparently bracing himself. That was…confusing. “I’m sorry, Rey. I…small crisis, and I when I saw all the missed calls and messages from Andor, I didn’t think.”

Ah.

Well then.

She wandered over and stood beside him, letting him turn in his seat and wrap his arms around her, pressing his face into her side for a moment and muttering, “Please tell me you got mad and ordered double food and dessert.”

She laughed and toyed with his hair. “I did, in fact. And groceries.”

“That’s my girl.”

He lifted his head and she looked down and just _had_ to kiss him. She couldn’t not.

When he pulled her down into his lap, she went willingly, arms settling around his neck without ever separating from his lips.

Then the alert for the video conferencing program went off and they both jumped. “Ah, Andor,” Ben said, and Rey removed herself from the camera view, deciding to hide—er, straighten a bit and maybe read—in the bedroom until the lunch and grocery deliveries arrived.

Whatever the crisis was seemed to be at least partially resolved shortly, and Ben put his various electronic devices aside to help put things away and eat lunch with her. She was halfway through her meal when he cleared his throat, wiped his mouth, and put his fork down, all without meeting her eyes. “So…we uh…at this point we definitely need to talk to HR.”

She nearly slipped off her chair in relief.

“I already have the paperwork, and we can send it in tonight so it’s waiting for Amilyn tomorrow morning.”

She smiled. “Directly to Amilyn, hm? Not going through the HR Rep at the local office?”

He almost smiled, then, and she thought the very slightest hint of pink might be creeping up his neck. “I um, I may have promised we’d go straight to her?” It came out a question and he was nervously tapping the table with his fingertips. Rey reached out, covering his fingers (and just his fingers) with her hand.

“Ben? What’s wrong? Why are you so nervous about this? It’s not like we haven’t talked about it.”

He shook his head and flipped his hand over, so he could lace their fingers together on the table. “I don’t know, exactly. I think…it’s making it seem so real.”

She batted away the twinge of hurt. “Do you not want it to be real?”

He did look at her then, head jerking up as he sucked in a breath. He looked…a little terrified, honestly. “No, I do, I really do, more than anything…it’s just…I maybe don’t want everyone else knowing they were right, I guess? I don’t know.” He shrugged and looked down at the take-out box in front of him, picking up his fork with his free hand and poking at the food. “I maybe don’t want to give my parents the right to say I told you so,” he mumbled at his lunch, stabbing at a bite of something ferociously enough to break through the container.

“Ben, they already know.”

“I know…it’s…I don’t know why this is getting to me.”

He was lying. She knew it, instinctively.

But _WHY_?

_You don’t trust me_ , he kept thinking, mumbling every vague excuse he could come up with to keep from saying the words. He was afraid.

Of whatever secret she was keeping.

Of going through all the formal steps, making everything official, and having her decide that whatever was bothering her was more important, bigger than them, than _him_.

Of losing her.

“Ben? Do you…do you want to wait? Do you…do you think this was a mistake after all?”

He was horrified at the hurt in her voice. “Never, Rey! Loving you may be the only thing I’ve done right in my entire life.” He squeezed her hand but let her pull away. She pushed her chair back and this was it, this was the moment he’d been dreading. The little voice in the back of his head insisted she was going to change her mind and he was going to lose her, because he’d ruined things already.

Or maybe not, Ben thought as Rey rounded the table and put her arms around him. “It’s probably just nerves,” he said. “Neither of us really likes to be the center of attention.”

She snorted at that. “Too true.” She straightened. “So, is the crisis averted completely?”

“As much as can be until tomorrow. Why?”

“And are we all still locked out of the system?”

“Except for me, yes.”

She leaned in and kissed his nose, grabbed both his hands. “I think, then, that I should like to spend the afternoon in bed.” He opened his mouth to ask if she was tired, if she felt okay, if she needed him to get her anything, then realized she hadn’t said anything about sleeping.

He let her pull him approximately two steps before tossing her over his shoulder.

Rey glanced at the closed blinds in Hux’s office. Cassian Andor had been waiting when they arrived at eight and promptly closed himself in the small room with Ben and Armitage, but not before pulling Rey aside and saying he needed to speak with her privately before leaving.

So that was it. She was out of time.

She’d been to the water cooler or the break room or the loo every seven minutes according to Poe and had to re-send an email three times because she kept forgetting attachments, subject lines, and at one point misspelled Ben’s name in his email address.

She couldn’t focus.

She jumped and yelped a bit when Ben opened the conference room door and stuck his head in the room. “Rey? Cassian’s leaving soon but he said he needs to talk to you first.”

She nodded and headed for the door, only stumbling once. Ben gave her a look but didn’t question it, not at that moment anyway. She suspected he would later.

Armitage stood by his office door, and motioned her inside, closing the door behind her. Cassian was in one of the chairs facing the desk. He stood and took her hand, patting it gently rather than shaking it. “Hello Rey, lovely to see you. I do apologize for the lack of communication. Things have been busy.”

“They certainly have,” she said, smoothing her skirt nervously as she sat in the other chair.

“I must also apologize for something else. I have been unfair to you, I think, asking you to pick up and leave your life to come work with me.” She blinked and he gave her a knowing smile. “I do believe it is the best thing, and we would be very successful, but perhaps you would not need to relocate forever, hm?”

She stared at him, unable to answer.

“I do not mean to push you for an answer, but I feel you should know that there is some flexibility. I would of course need you at hand at first, probably six months to one year at minimum, but there are ways to work remotely. We have the resources for travel, and I do have other commitments and responsibilities. I would suspect that you may, as well.”

He gave her that smile again, and she blushed, making him laugh.

“Take the time you need, Rey, and maybe talk over it with someone. Solo, perhaps?” He patted her hand and stood. “Jyn would like me to invite you—your whole team, of course—to join us for dinner on Saturday. She is threatening to make me go bowling or play mini golf and seems to think you would find it amusing.”

Rey laughed and Cassian excused himself, saying his goodbyes to Ben and Armitage and then ducking into the small conference room to speak to Poe and Finn before heading out to meet his waiting driver.

She stepped outside for some air, feeling Ben beside her before she saw or heard him. “Everything okay, Sweetheart?”

She smiled up at him. “Yes, perfect, I think. Just a bit agitated today.”

“Shall we call Amilyn and get it over with? I have the email ready to send.”

She agreed readily and he called the direct line for the HR head’s office, putting her on speaker, which proved to be a mistake when he told her to check her email and she received the paperwork. The whoop of joy and triumph Amilyn let loose had dogs howling nearby and, according to the texts that came in from his mother shortly thereafter, had echoed for three floors.

Rey managed to get through the afternoon without any more mistakes, but she was still distracted. Ben let it slide until after dinner, when they were cuddled in her bed and discussing whether to pull up a movie on her laptop or just try to sleep (because he refused to touch her again until she stopped wincing when she bent over). He sighed and leaned back against the headboard, closing the laptop with a quiet but decisive click. “I swore I wasn’t going to do this but I can’t pretend anymore. Rey, something has been bothering you for a while, now, and I need you to trust me enough to tell me what it is. I promise to try to resist the urge to just fix it, but I need to know. It’s making me crazy and it…well, it hurts, that you still don’t trust me.”

“I do Ben, I absolutely do, I just…” she sighed and leaned against his shoulder. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you, and what to do, because…well, I’m a little disappointed in myself.”

He stared down at her, bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself quiet.

“I…Cassian Andor offered me a job—a partnership, actually, in design and development.”

“Rey, Sweetheart, that’s amazing! Is that why he wanted to talk to you today?”

He felt her nod but she wouldn’t look up at him. “I…Ben, before you, I never would have hesitated, but now…I don’t want to lose you.”

“Sweetheart, you won’t. What does his offer have to do with us, though?”

She stared up at him, and he realized he was missing something, some essential detail, that had been the thing bothering her for weeks.

“Ben, it would mean I’d have to move, relocate completely, and you and I only just…”

Oh. Oh, that was… _oh._

“I love you, Ben, and this is so new, and now I have to decide between staying close to you and the chance to work with someone I never thought I would even be lucky enough to meet. And I’m afraid.”

He kissed the top of her head, the tears starting to fall from her eyes, the tip of her nose, and shifted to put his hands on either side of her face. “Rey, you _have_ to do this. It’s an amazing opportunity. And I can wait, we can try long distance, hell, I can just move with you if you want. But you _cannot_ give up this opportunity. Not for me.”

“But what about your life? You have a job, and your parents, and your apartment and a cat and…”

“Rey, all of that...you’re so much more important. I promise I won’t make any rash decisions, but, well, it might be time for a change anyway. The cat can move with me, we can keep the apartment for when we visit my parents, or maybe rent it to Rose—you said the lease is up soon and she and Snap want to look for a place together, and I have other empty units in the building—I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that anyway.”

“Wait! Wait! What do you mean you have other empty units?”

“I, um, own the building? Part of my inheritance. I was planning to offer one of the empty ones to you, if you wanted.”

She stared at him and shook her head. “We’re getting off topic. My other points still stand. You have a job, and you said yourself that you’re still working on your relationship with your parents. Ben, I don’t want to interfere or get in the way of that.”

“You wouldn’t be.” How to make her understand?

“My job is a joke.”

“Don’t say that!”

“No, really, after everything with Snoke, I needed something to do. I don’t actually need the money, but I needed to work, needed some kind of responsibility, and Uncle Luke made some stupid comment about creating a fake position for me. Dad ran with it. He’d been watching The Office, and he talked my mom into creating a version of Special Projects for me, basically giving me an office and a budget to do whatever I wanted to and try to keep me out of trouble. I’m not a project manager, not an engineer…my background is more in operations and accounting.”

“And your parents?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “That is still a work in progress, but it’s better. A lot better thanks to you, actually.”

“Me?”

“Please, Rey, they adore you. Pretty sure they like you better than they like me. I know Uncle Luke does. They’ve all been pushing me to get my head out of my ass, where you’re concerned.”

“They did not say that!”

“They certainly did. Well, Uncle Luke did. Mom was a lot more specific and used a lot more curse words. Dad just called me an idiot and said I should ask you where you buy your coffee and then follow you home, but only in a charming way, not in a creepy way.”

She giggled and relaxed against him. “Are you sure though? That you’re okay with it?”

Her voice was soft and small, unsure.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Rey. As long as we’re together, as long as you’re healthy and happy, that’s what’s important. You need to take this chance, Rey.” He opened the laptop screen again and turned the device toward her. “Tell him yes. We’ll figure everything else out. Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there guys. Last chapter will probably be more of a short epilogue.


	21. Epilogue: Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey packs up her old life and starts her new one, but there are a couple of surprises waiting.
> 
> _She gasped as she flipped on the lights and saw the flowers, the same arrangement Ben had given her before, and the small, expertly wrapped box in front of it._
> 
> _She slid the blood red ribbon off and peeled back the glossy, black paper, opening the box and gasping again at the contents._
> 
> _“It’s always been yours,” said a voice from behind her and she yelped in surprise and spun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end of my first ever Reylo and the story that brought me back to writing after over a decade. It's been 11 months, since this was started, and I hope the ending is satisfying.
> 
> [The Friday Shirt Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2k1v40y35rfb5bGuRjBs78?si=j0a9dydVTHqQ0mwwZI-mgA)

Rey taped the last box and looked around the room. Most of the furniture had been sold or donated, and the last of her things were in this small, single box. She didn’t feel sad, per se, but she wasn’t exactly happy either. Arms slipped around her from behind and she sighed and leaned back against Ben, letting him support her weight and kiss the top of her head.

Rustling and voices came from the kitchen, where Rose and Snap were packing the last of the cookware as Poe and Finn pretended to help but really just went through the box of junk food on the counter and Paige fought a losing battle to keep everyone on task.

They’d have a group dinner at Ben’s once the last of Rose and Snap’s things were moved into the first floor two bedroom that Poe insisted was larger than his and Finn’s house (it was a slight exaggeration, but only slight).

Most of Rey’s things were already in her new home, the last of her boxes would be loaded into a moving truck in the morning and delivered in a couple of days.

She’d already been working with Cassian for over a month, spending alternating long weekends with Ben as he tried to wrap things up and hand them off at SOS.

Surprising them all, Luke had come back out of retirement to take over Ben’s responsibilities, but the pair had restructured it into an independently operating non-profit arm of the company. By his best estimate, Ben thought he had another three months at minimum before he could leave.

It wasn’t easy. She missed him desperately, and she did get lonely, but she didn’t really feel _alone_ , not anymore. Largely thanks to the people in this apartment.

She felt something at her ankle and looked down, laughing as Deathstar and BB took turns winding in and out between her feet.

Rose had turned out to be something of a cat whisperer. There had been some kind of emergency while everyone was gone for the project, and Maz had come to Rose desperate for someone to keep Deathstar. Rose had already had BB and she knew about the issues the pair had in the past, but she did it because she was Rose.

Both animals had behaved perfectly ever since.

Even at home.

BB was calmer, and Deathstar no longer hid every time the wind blew.

Poe and Ben had accused Rose of everything from drugging or lobotomizing the animals to replacing them with well-behaved lookalikes. Rose’s response had involved words that made Snap blush, rude gestures, and a demand for feline visitation rights, which was why the two were currently wandering the flat and generally getting in the way as everyone tried to pack boxes and clean.

Rey shook her head and turned her attention back to the final box and any cleaning that had been missed.

She almost managed not to cry when Chewie came by for their keys and hugged both Rey and Rose close, insisting they were his favorite tenants ever (and delighting in Poe’s offended protests). She cried again after dinner, hugging everyone goodnight, and then again in the morning when she stepped out Ben’s door to head to the airport and found Rose, Poe, and Finn waiting to see her off.

She would be back. Regularly—frequently even. But something about this, having left the home she shared with Rose, felt more final.

Things had changed—Rey had changed.

For the better, though, and largely because of the people surrounding her.

She broke down again when Ben kissed her goodbye before she stepped into the security line. He watched her until he couldn’t see her any longer, and she cried as she sat at the gate.

They wouldn’t see each other in person for a month this time. It was the longest they’d been apart.

She managed to sleep most of the flight, and Armitage and Kaydel picked her up when she arrived, making the long trip to drop her off at her new place only minutes away from Andor machinery.

The next morning, she drove herself to work in the car she’d purchased with the exorbitant signing bonus Cassian had insisted on giving her and nodded politely at the friendly greetings from several people as she headed to her office near the labs.

She gasped as she flipped on the lights and saw the flowers, the same arrangement Ben had given her before, and the small, expertly wrapped box in front of it.

She slid the blood red ribbon off and peeled back the glossy, black paper, opening the box and gasping again at the contents.

“It’s always been yours,” said a voice from behind her and she yelped in surprise and spun.

“Ben! What are you doing here?”

She nearly dropped the box on the desk, the black and red pen falling out with a clatter, and threw herself into his arms, professionalism be damned.

“I decided a month was just too long to be away from you.”

“How long are you here?”

“Well, it’s negotiable, but I was thinking maybe…forever? Or at least as long as you are.” He reached out, picking up his (her?) Magma from the desk and holding out for her inspection. Something was off, a glint of metal near the black and red cap, and the sparkle of gemstones.

She gasped, hands flying up to cover her mouth as he slipped the ring off the end of the pen and untied the bit of ribbon that had kept it secured. He never looked away from her as he dropped to one knee.

“I know it hasn’t been long, not officially, but I meant it when I said you’re it for me, and if I have anything to do with it you won’t ever be alone again. I wanted to ask you this from the first moment you yelled back at me, and so many times since. Rey Jackson, will you marry me?”

She nodded, unable to speak, as he slipped the ring on her finger.

“It’s a moonstone, and the smaller stones are sapphires and diamonds. I wanted something as unique and beautiful as you are, but if you don’t like it, we can pick something else out.”

“It’s perfect Ben, absolutely perfect, and I would have taken just the pen.”

“Now she tells me,” he said to the ceiling before kissing her.

“Well, Solo, did she say yes?” Cassian called from the doorway, waving a bottle at them.

“Cassian, it isn’t nine yet, I think it’s a little early for champagne.”

Jyn popped her head out from behind him, and grinned. “Not in mimosas! Now, did you say yes?”

“Not technically,” Ben said, “She just nodded.”

“Fine. Yes! Yes, I will marry you Ben Solo, happy now?”

He kissed her and grinned. “Ecstatic.”

Jyn cheered and shoved Cassian into the office where they began pouring champagne and orange juice into the champagne flutes they’d brought and passing them out. “A toast,” Cassian said, “to my new design and development partner and her fiancé, the new Chief Financial Officer of Andor Machinery.”

Rey choked on her drink as the words registered. “I hadn’t told her that part yet,” Ben said sourly.

“We know,” Jyn said, throwing back the rest of her mimosa in a single gulp. “You two have things to talk about, celebrating to do, and at least two offices to defile,” she added, pulling Cassian out the door. “They’re soundproof, by the way,” Jyn called over her shoulder as Cassian reached back and closed the door.

Ben looked down at her, worry creasing his forehead. “Is this okay? It’s a lot I know, but I’ve been talking to Cassian about it for months and then when I found out he’d made you an offer…well, I needed it to be your decision, so I didn’t tell you. I was going to, but…” he shrugged and ran a hand through his hair.

“Ben, it’s fine. Perfect even. And even it’s not like I told you as soon as he made me an offer, so fair’s fair I suppose.”

“I really thought you’d be more upset.”

She let him settle his arms back around her and rested her hands on his chest. “Maybe I would, but…I want you here. We already know we work well together. And Cassian Andor is a shrewd businessman. He wouldn’t have hired you if he weren’t already certain you were right for the job. I do have one question though? Where are you staying?”

“Hm, well, I spent last night at a hotel, and I have the room for at least a week, but there’s this girl I’ve been seeing, and I was kind of hoping she’d let me crash at her place. I know she’s got the room.”

“I hear she has a really big bed, too, because her boyfriend is so tall.”

“Too bad her fiancé says she can’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

She giggled when he kissed her, then gave him a shove towards the sofa against the far wall. “Well, Mr. Solo, I believe we should get to work. I have a conference call at two and that means we only have a few hours to get through the to do list we’ve been given.”

“To do list?”

She pushed him down and straddled his thighs. “Uh hm. Well, just the two tasks really, something about defiling a couple of offices. It seems like a very important responsibility.”

In the end, they managed to defile both offices, an empty lab, and Rey’s new car before she dragged him home.

_Home._

She finally had one.


End file.
